[911 edit] Married men and sex

[Autumnleaf]

The Bible [911 edit] advises a man not to see prostitutes and to take delight in the wife of his youth. Sure God isn't talking tiddlywinks here. Do you think men deserve sex from their wives? What about wives from their husbands?

 

[Avniel]

I dont know if deserve is the right word. Probably entitled is ae much better term(as are wives side note for the argumentative).

I think men's biggest mistake is putting such a high value on sex or not knowing how to do it properly or get their wife in the mood.

If you place sex at the top of your list it becomes a punishment tool. . Men n need to understand women want sex as bad as we do. If your wife wont have sex with you for whatever reason dont just do it to have sex....Now she holds all the cards and her mood is now influenced by your daily report card.


There is a way to reverse this.

 

[JaneFW]

No-one is any more "entitled" to sex than they are "entitled" to God's love and mercy. Anyone with an entitlement attitude is on a hiding to nothing.

 

[McScribe]

I am entitled to a sandwich.

 

[Autumnleaf]

I am entitled to a sandwich.

Exactly. After sex she need to make a sammich.

 

[dorig59]

LOL! You guys are funny! Are you bored tonight, AL?

 

[Autumnleaf]

LOL! You guys are funny! Are you bored tonight, AL?

No. I'm just not tired yet. I will be soon though. And tomorrow when I wake up I will go get a massage from an awesome masseuse and all will be right in my corner of the world. She was booked last week so I missed out and I'm picky about who I let touch me.

 

[Johnnz]

So, a missed massage results in a question about sex. Hmmmm.

John
NZ

 

[Stephen Kendall]

We don't get what we deserve, if we did we would all be dead. We should be grateful to give to others what they may not deserve as though they do. We impart love where we would like it returned. Giving understanding is much more mature than trying to stablelize our bio-chemistry that runs amok when it hasn't been fine tuned lately. Patience and love gives us spiritual adjustments for our complex chaotic sexual physiology. What turns on desire is the honesty of love. For a man, it is all so real being as an imbalance and awkwardness to his stamina and stability. Yet, if he honestly just loves his wife, the way that she is built, will only pour back that love to reward and fill his heart. He disciplines himself for her needs and she likewise receive this love to share with him to fill his needs. All that I know is that I honestly love my wife and get very great joy from her. I know that I do not deserve what I get, but am grateful and love her deeply.

 

[Avniel]

No-one is any more "entitled" to sex than they are "entitled" to God's love and mercy. Anyone with an entitlement attitude is on a hiding to nothing.

I am as entitled to my wife's body as she is to mine. My body belongs to her and her body belongs to me. What I dont do is value sex more then I value my own self respect if my wife is mad the best thing for her to do is communicate it because her with holding sex isnt going to do anything but make me read more.

 

[Autumnleaf]

So, a missed massage results in a question about sex. Hmmmm.

John
NZ

No, she asked if I was bored.

This thread was sort of dare.

 

[iambren]

Of course it's deserved and each spouse is entitled to it, AND I think this IS at the top of my list for getting married. Anything wrong with that! It seemed Paul was putting it high up there on a lot he said about it.


"No-one is any more "entitled" to sex than they are "entitled" to God's love and mercy. "


That's exactly the point. God by grace chose us and now I owe Him all my praise, gratitude, and service. Likewise, we chose our mate, they are special, beloved and we give all to them gratefully--they deserve it.

 

[Niffer]

So, a missed massage results in a question about sex. Hmmmm.

John
NZ

PFFFTTTTttt!! LOL!!


As for the question, I think both parties, wife and husband are entitled to get sex from eachother.
After all, I did wait to get married to have sex, so did he. I can only (morally) get sex from one person on this whole planet, and after having waited for this one person, yeah I'm entitled!

Peace,
- Niffer

 

[dallasapple]

We don't get what we deserve, if we did we would all be dead. We should be grateful to give to others what they may not deserve as though they do. We impart love where we would like it returned. Giving understanding is much more mature than trying to stablelize our bio-chemistry that runs amok when it hasn't been fine tuned lately. Patience and love gives us spiritual adjustments for our complex chaotic sexual physiology. What turns on desire is the honesty of love. For a man, it is all so real being as an imbalance and awkwardness to his stamina and stability. Yet, if he honestly just loves his wife, the way that she is built, will only pour back that love to reward and fill his heart. He disciplines himself for her needs and she likewise receive this love to share with him to fill his needs. All that I know is that I honestly love my wife and get very great joy from her. I know that I do not deserve what I get, but am grateful and love her deeply.

This is a wonderful attitude...it to me is a mature pattern of thinking..

If anyone male or female approaches thier spouse with a "I deserve sex" or "Im entittled to sex" attitude they arent going to be getting much..or lets say you wont have a very enthusiatstic partner..Doesnt matter what the Bible says we are human beings with FEELINGS..and over the years especially you arent goign to be very "fullfilled' if your attitude is it took one day to promise "sex" and now you "deserve it' whenever you want it ..and its an "entitlement' for life you again may get some "sex" but thats all it will be.."sex"..and the attitude of "deserve and entitled" will get you some obligatory and probably reluctant sex..and that will be what YOU DESERVE.

Dallas

 

[Fierce Badger]

I think proper discernment should be exercised in this area. If my wife is sick or dead tired, I wouldn't ask her for sex even if I wanted it. Likewise the same rule applies to myself. We can ask each other for sex anytime, but there are certain situations where it just isn't proper and would be wrong to ask for it.

 

[Conservativation]

I think proper discernment should be exercised in this area. If my wife is sick or dead tired, I wouldn't ask her for sex even if I wanted it. Likewise the same rule applies to myself. We can ask each other for sex anytime, but there are certain situations where it just isn't proper and would be wrong to ask for it.

Nah....she gets so tired she dont even know we had sex.....awesome

 

[McScribe]

According to the Old Testament, if I go to war and take a concubine I have to wait a YEAR before I can have sex with her. Who says the Bible doesn't regulate sexual activity?

 

[Conservativation]

Only a year?

Sounds like a new way to get a quicky

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, I'm not comfortable with the word deserve.
Nor am I comfortable with all the reasons given as to why a husband should be understanding of this or that resulting in less sexuality and sex in a marriage.

At this point in my life, I can handle work, church, a house(morgage, yard work, tenants and repairs), cooking, laundry, travel, dining etc. So the one thing I would from a wife is her sexuality and sex. Yet what I found has so many rules and guilt that what I have wanted is quite limited. So I suspect I'll not get married again.

 

[Luther073082]

Each spouse is entitled to regular sex so long as it is healthy and not damaging to someone's health or the relationship.

But each spouse is also entitled to the love and support of the other spouse as well.

I don't like the term "entitled" but it does describe it well I think. Because it is in no way right to withhold sex on a long term basis unless there is a very good reason (such as health reasons) as to why you are doing so.