Yes it is. And it is incredibly serious and unfortunate.
But that doesn't mean those of us in healthy marriages need to be bombarded with statistics about it. It doesn't mean we are in any danger. It's almost like all this is meant to be a warning, like with the post about the wife who was found dead later. It's like, "Hey! This marriage seemed pretty good too. Next thing you know, your husband is gonna come out of the closet and beat you to death. Better watch out and not let him get too close, and you really shouldn't have sex unless you absolutely 100% are in the mood for it. His pursuing you could totally turn into marital rape, and then that could lead to him killing you."
That is exactly what all of this sounds like. No biblical support, just fear tactics.
I am really sorry for those who have been in/are currently in unhealthy marriages. I really am. I'll be praying for you and your spouses. Being in a healthy marriage that hasn't suffered from some traumatic turmoil is not a crime, it's a gift. I'm sorry that all of this seems so negative to some of you(to some it sounds like you don't even believe in marriage at all), but we really don't need warnings tossed around.
You have observed this correctly. Ive tried to figure out, over 3 years of reading these kinds of things, what is the motive. Ive come to the conclusion it isn't fear, that they are not literally trying to spread fear. However the fear narrative fits the churches current teaching nicely, that men walk the razors edge of sexual sin and stumble into it often but for a woman keeping them in check....so its not hard to find reinforcement for this in Christian communities.
Ive concluded that people, maybe most people want to feel a certain feelings when they talk about certain subjects, and that folks who've had a rough go of something, when that comes up, want to feel their anger or whatever the feeling is reflected back by other posters, and anything short of that isn't received well. I get that way on the subject of divorce, I want people to get as worked up as me, so Im guilty of it too (though not so much lately as Ive mellowed on the topic, this is beside the point)
Those who are seeming to spread fear are just looking for empathy, like-feelings reflected back, and also maybe a tiny bit a vicarious anger they get to experience at their spouse, still, through the words of others.
Short of that, I cant figure the whole warning you may be married to a monster tone at all. I mean life will go on, years will pass, and these words will have been stated, and marriages will or wont go sour, but this here will have nothing to do with it and truth be known most of us dont walk through our days repeating these beliefs and acting them out, we never even think about this stuff, we just live in the equilibrium we have established, and only here when tasked with answering these questions do we even attempt to share our views. That means Im not really needed to warn others that this MIGHT happen, and I need not justify anything to anyone.
In other topics we talk about mutual grace and giving (which means sometimes taking no for an answer, lovingly, and sometimes her willing to change her mind...thats MUTUAL grace and giving) and its a virtue, this topic, not so much. The anger empathy desire overshadows how utterly reasonable this is, and they would rather dwell in the darkest possibilities. It will not change, and thats ok, I highly doubt they are angrily handling their own lives this way, they have an equilibrium like most people and it works. But that begs the question then, why so exercised on this topic, and I think i answered that above IMO.
