:(

[frenchbread101]

I wish I didn't have mental illness. I think of all the things I could and should be doing with my life as I have legs that work, eyes that see, and ears that hear, but my mind is broken. I could be going on mission trips (feeding the hungry, I could be volunteering at a soup kitchen in my city, heck I could be just going door to door in my own neighborhood with gospel tracts. But my anxiety prevents me from doing all of those things. It chokes me up and keeps me captive tight in its grips so I am rendered useless for the Kingdom of God. It tempts me to hate myself. I waste so much time worrying and being addicted to the internet because it is the only thing that comforts me after a long day of crippling social anxiety. I can't bring myself out of it. Talking to people is such a challenge for me because I never developed healthy social skills growing up. I know when Jesus comes back to earth He will look at me and be like, "you didn't do squat for me!" don' t tell me it isn't about works--I know that. I know I don't have to do things to be saved, but I want so badly to GIVE BACK something. I want to be useful. Instead I feel like a waste of space. I don't know how to even get started in the things I dream of doing, and I don't even have the means to get started. I don't have any connections, no friends, no drivers license, no money or time to see a therapist so I can fix my deep seated issues. I feel like a bird that wants to fly but has broken wings. I can't fly.

 

[God is good]

I wish I didn't have mental illness. I think of all the things I could and should be doing with my life as I have legs that work, eyes that see, and ears that hear, but my mind is broken. I could be going on mission trips (feeding the hungry, I could be volunteering at a soup kitchen in my city, heck I could be just going door to door in my own neighborhood with gospel tracts. But my anxiety prevents me from doing all of those things. It chokes me up and keeps me captive tight in its grips so I am rendered useless for the Kingdom of God. It tempts me to hate myself. I waste so much time worrying and being addicted to the internet because it is the only thing that comforts me after a long day of crippling social anxiety. I can't bring myself out of it. Talking to people is such a challenge for me because I never developed healthy social skills growing up. I know when Jesus comes back to earth He will look at me and be like, "you didn't do squat for me!" don' t tell me it isn't about works--I know that. I know I don't have to do things to be saved, but I want so badly to GIVE BACK something. I want to be useful. Instead I feel like a waste of space. I don't know how to even get started in the things I dream of doing, and I don't even have the means to get started. I don't have any connections, no friends, no drivers license, no money or time to see a therapist so I can fix my deep seated issues. I feel like a bird that wants to fly but has broken wings. I can't fly.

Hi, my name is Zack and I'm a christian and I also have a mental illness, ocd. It's very hard to deal with but God loves us very very much and you are not useless, Jesus loves you and He can help you produce fruit for Him. I have been struggling in my walk of faith a little bit but just know that you are never alone and that Jesus is the best friend we can ask for and if you ever want to talk about whatever you can message me. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

I wish I didn't have mental illness. I think of all the things I could and should be doing with my life as I have legs that work, eyes that see, and ears that hear, but my mind is broken. I could be going on mission trips (feeding the hungry, I could be volunteering at a soup kitchen in my city, heck I could be just going door to door in my own neighborhood with gospel tracts. But my anxiety prevents me from doing all of those things. It chokes me up and keeps me captive tight in its grips so I am rendered useless for the Kingdom of God. It tempts me to hate myself. I waste so much time worrying and being addicted to the internet because it is the only thing that comforts me after a long day of crippling social anxiety. I can't bring myself out of it. Talking to people is such a challenge for me because I never developed healthy social skills growing up. I know when Jesus comes back to earth He will look at me and be like, "you didn't do squat for me!" don' t tell me it isn't about works--I know that. I know I don't have to do things to be saved, but I want so badly to GIVE BACK something. I want to be useful. Instead I feel like a waste of space. I don't know how to even get started in the things I dream of doing, and I don't even have the means to get started. I don't have any connections, no friends, no drivers license, no money or time to see a therapist so I can fix my deep seated issues. I feel like a bird that wants to fly but has broken wings. I can't fly.

No one is useless...even a person who has no arms and no legs and is dependent upon others to help them do stuff... Nick Vujicic is such a person and he uses what he has and is about kingdom work.
More about Nick here:

Nick and his wife have recently welcomed a set of twins to their family...making
a total of 4 children.

I worked in health care for over twenty years and I have assisted christians clients to do they part in sharing the gospel, visiting others, helping they neighbor etc.
I had a couple clients who were confined to their beds and couldn't move their limbs, yet I helped them minister to those who lived around them or came to visit to them.
My own mom uses her phone to minister to others, she also sends christian greeting cards, shares her faith with those around her and she's in a nursing home and has been there for over two years. Her failing body hasn't stopped her from
being about kingdom work.

Some who attend my church have mental illnesses and they do what they can...they often aren't able to be at church but when they can, they come...
and there others who go and minister to them in small groups.
You see, even a little go a long way and God can do much with it...just like
He multiplied the youth's lunch of bread and a couple fish.

 

[Little Lantern]

I want so badly to GIVE BACK something. I want to be useful. Instead I feel like a waste of space. I don't know how to even get started in the things I dream of doing, and I don't even have the means to get started.

Hmm... You seem to be comfortable using the internet, and the internet is a great place to do some Kingdom work. Have you considered starting right here, on the forums? Maybe you could welcome new members in the "Introduce Yourself" forum or offer prayer for folks in the "Prayer Wall." There are lots of threads where you might offer some encouraging words. Starting where you are right now may help you build some confidence and lead to other ministry opportunities in the future.

 

[Zatek]

Mental illness should not be dismissed as silly or embarassing because your physical body is intact. The downplaying of the importance of love in a child's relationship is something that is common today but very wrong. The old addage that "food, water, shelter" are the basic necessities is a lie. People also need love. Old people sometimes die of a "broken heart" when their spouse dies because they have nothing left to live for without love, and a feeling a being alone and without love is the main reason people commit suicide. Studies done with chimps show that young chimps would rather starve than be alone without their mother when forced to choose.

My guess is there was lots of conflict in your house growing up. That is usually what causes social anxiety. When there is lots of anger and conflict in a house then children will respond by being withdrawn and quiet as a defence mechanism so as not to risk being a cause of that conflict and risk being abandoned. And that's actually a good thing for children, because abusive parents might hurt you, but as you become an adult the defense mechanism is no longer helpful and is actually harmful.

As an adult the fear of being abandoned by your parents is no longer an issue because you no longer need them, but overcoming the habits and fears from childhood is not always easy. It may feel like a scary thing to talk to strangers, but it is a completely safe thing to do. No one will hurt you, especially in normal social places like churches, malls, parks, coffee shops, etc. Just follow basic social ettique. Don't interrupt people if they're in the middle of something, don't monopolize the conversation, and don't try and tell them your problems and make them be your therapist. Keep the conversation upbeat and fun. Find someone who is just standing or sitting and look around and not doing anything and go say hello, say your name, say something brief about yourself, and then ask them a question.

You can watch lots of videos and tips online about how to be social and friendly and read body language, but the main thing to overcome your anxiety is to just go out and practice. The worst that will happen is someone will just say they are busy and can't talk right now. If by some rare chance someone is mean to you it isn't your fault. People will always treat strangers how they feel about themselves. Happy people seek to make others feel good too, and unhappy mean people seek to make others feel bad too, but it probably won't happen.

Pick a place to go once or twice a week and make it a goal to talk to 10 people each time you go. You can go to a dog park and ask people about their dog. Tell them you're thinking about getting one but not sure which breed. Ask them what they like about their dog and what their dog's personality is like. It doesn't matter if you really don't have any plans to get a dog, the important thing is to just talk to people and realize most people are friendly.

You just have to get out there and do it. There is no other way to fix your social anxiety other than personal experience by just getting out there and talk to people. There is no magic fix. You'll say stupid things sometimes. You'll get nervous and can't think of anything to say. You'll feel embarrassed. That will all happen, but that will be the worst thing and it really isn't that bad is it? It's certainly not any worse than being alone the rest of your life. Accept that it won't be easy, but that it will be worth it.