41 and never been in a serious relationship

Genstt

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So I read and posted in the other thread, and thought to make one as well.
My most recent attempt at dating i tried using a dating app earlier this year. Though I've tried this a few times in the past and wasn't successful, a friend suggested I try again as he was doing the same at the time. He was able to find someone eventually though they live very far away, but for me it was another failed attempt as I wasn't getting anywhere even though I kept at it for a decent amount of time.
So long story short I have almost no actual experience at dating and have never been in a serious relationship despite being 41 years old.
 

God is good

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So I read and posted in the other thread, and thought to make one as well.
My most recent attempt at dating i tried using a dating app earlier this year. Though I've tried this a few times in the past and wasn't successful, a friend suggested I try again as he was doing the same at the time. He was able to find someone eventually though they live very far away, but for me it was another failed attempt as I wasn't getting anywhere even though I kept at it for a decent amount of time.
So long story short I have almost no actual experience at dating and have never been in a serious relationship despite being 41 years old.
You never know, you can still find someone, God's timing is always perfect and He is all we need. God bless you and keep praying about finding someone. I was single for about 12 years and I prayed to God and asked Him exactly what I was looking for and now I am engaged to the love of my life. God bless you
 
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trophy33

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Average-happiness-level-before-and-after-marriage.png
 
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TheWhat?

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The golden age of internet dating is over. The golden age of dating, for that matter, is over. Birth rates are in decline. It seems more and more people are either going gay or waiting for the world to burn, and Islam is in line to take over.

I would not expect much of out of that scenario, though you may get lucky if you strategize.
 
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TheWhat?

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Statistically, relationship/marriage will give you just 4 years of happiness. Is it worth all the complications, problems, worries, divorce, courts about money/children and shorter life?

It depends on how you look at it. If you assume that everyone is out for the thrill of marriage, probably not. That's a bad assumption though -- existentialism being the most likely to blame there, imo.
 
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trophy33

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Depends on how you look at it. If you assume that everyone is out for the thrill of marriage, probably not. That's a bad assumption though -- existentialism being the most likely to blame there, imo.
People behave mostly rationally in the long term and even though the evolutionary instincts for sex and children can be strong in some, most people will not commit for life if that will make them unhappy. Maybe some decades ago, but not today.
 
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TheWhat?

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People mostly behave rationally in the long term and even though the evolutionary instincts for sex and children can be strong in some, most people will not commit for life if that will make them unhappy. Maybe some decades ago, but not today.

Well, the bottom line is, from a more philosophical perspective, unless we want to end up as dismal as schopenhauer, life needs something to provide a bit a substance to make it worth living.

I don't think living for one's self really works, at all, and your options are fairly limited, raising a family and fulfilling "the call of your ancestors" being one of the only realistic, fulfilling purposes to live for, even if slightly less thrilling than some would hope.
 
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trophy33

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I don't think living for one's self really works, at all, and your options are fairly limited, raising a family and fulfilling "the call of your ancestors" being one of the only realistic, fulfilling purposes to live for, even if slightly less thrilling than some would hope.
Family was the only perspective and social security for past generations, but today there is so many possibilities how you can fill your life with purpose.

Also, its a mistake to think that single people just "live for themselves" or have nothing useful to do.
 
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TheWhat?

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Family was the only perspective and social security for past generations, but today there is so many possibilities how you can fill your life with purpose.

Well, see, I think this is a capitalist consumerism talking, which together with existentialism, they train us to think this way.

It works, for a time, just enough to spend some money and contribute to the economy. But it's sorely lacking in real tangible substance. I mean, who are we to think we can simply invent what life is or what it is meant to be? We can try to our hearts' content, but in the long run we can't escape reality.

Also, its a mistake to think that single people just "live for themselves" or have nothing useful to do.

Speaking as someone who was single for a significant portion of my life, I found myself living for myself, which is kind of inescapable, to a degree. Later, when I was convicted to "seek first the kingdom," God's will for my life, you know, to provide that deeper sense of meaning and fulfillment I was lacking in life, I discovered the options are so much more limited than I was expecting. Unless you're called to priesthood, or something like that, there's basically nothing other than family life to provide for that longing for purpose, hard coded into our genes.
 
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trophy33

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Well, see, I think this is a capitalist consumerism talking, which together with existentialism, they train us to think this way.
Oh mine. Sounds militantly.

Speaking as someone who was single for a significant portion of my life, I found myself living for myself, which is kind of inescapable, to a degree
It is not inescapable. Some people live for themselves, some do not. Regardless of their status.
 
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timewerx

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You never know, you can still find someone, God's timing is always perfect and He is all we need. God bless you and keep praying about finding someone. I was single for about 12 years and I prayed to God and asked Him exactly what I was looking for and now I am engaged to the love of my life. God bless you

I don't know, if you carefully observe people including Christians, some factors are strongly at play.

Like people being picky, having high standards for their choice of partner, or financially unstable, unattractive (from a worldly perspective, have many physical or mental defects, poor social skill, extremely introvert, etc.

Before I get accuse of having little faith. I used to "blind faith" in these matters for more than 20 years. I trusted God blindly to send me to the right woman. I believed it for all those time. Nothing happened. I still did not give up.

And I still haven't totally given up but when observe closely, it's hard to deny those reality things at work even with the life of Christians, that's why we have poor and rich Christians or single and happily married Christians. Not that God is angry with some Christians or they lack faith or don't pray enough. The Bible doesn't teach those things.
 
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trophy33

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or single and happily married Christians.
...or unhappily married Christians or separated Christians or divorced Christians.

All kinds of Christians out there. The "happily married" ones are a minority, I guess.
 
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timewerx

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...or unhappily married Christians or separated Christians or divorced Christians.

All kinds of Christians out there. The "happily married" ones are a minority, I guess.

When a Christian couple is unhappy, at least one of them is worldly.

The false teachings of this world is meant to divide us from one another. Although the world speaks about unity and tolerance of our differences, it promotes division through exclusion.

So it speaks of one thing but does the opposite in reality, in order to deceive. Indoctrination through exclusion - excluding the introverts, the poor, people with disabilities, people with issues, those with poor social skills, people who worry, people with big problems.

If at any point you become like one of the groups of people excluded by this world, then everyone who isn't, you become their enemy.
 
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trophy33

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When a Christian couple is unhappy, at least one of them is worldly.

The false teachings of this world is meant to divide us from one another. Although the world speaks about unity and tolerance of our differences, it promotes division through exclusion.

So it speaks of one thing but does the opposite in reality, in order to deceive. Indoctrination through exclusion - excluding the introverts, the poor, people with disabilities, people with issues, those with poor social skills, people who worry, people with big problems.

If at any point you become like one of the groups of people excluded by this world, then everyone who isn't, you become their enemy.

I do not think that only people who are poor, disabled, people with big problems etc. are the ones who cannot find a stable marriage.

Most divorced people are "normal" people. And even being rich will not save you from divorce - even Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos got divorced by their wives.
 
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timewerx

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I do not think that only people who are poor, disabled, people with big problems etc. are the ones who cannot find a stable marriage.

Most divorced people are "normal" people. And even being rich will not save you from divorce - even Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos got divorced by their wives.

Read carefully what I wrote - people with big problems, issues, personality problems.

Even the rich are not immune to these. Even the rich gets depressed, get paranoid, lose their confidence when something is wrong....Until their spouse lost interest in them because they found someone else more interesting and because of their "excluded" behavior.

We now live in a culture with extremely short patience and intolerance for excluded behaviors. Behaviors that aren't totally unexpected, nobody's perfect.
 
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Ceallaigh

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So I read and posted in the other thread, and thought to make one as well.
My most recent attempt at dating i tried using a dating app earlier this year. Though I've tried this a few times in the past and wasn't successful, a friend suggested I try again as he was doing the same at the time. He was able to find someone eventually though they live very far away, but for me it was another failed attempt as I wasn't getting anywhere even though I kept at it for a decent amount of time.
So long story short I have almost no actual experience at dating and have never been in a serious relationship despite being 41 years old.

I got you beat by 18 years.
 
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