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30 something singles

Discussion in 'Terrific Thirties' started by Joined2krist, Apr 14, 2019.

  1. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member

    624
    +434
    Catholic
    Single
    How do you cope? I'm currently attending a training which I'll have to do for the next 3 months (my choice). I'm the only single person my age. Everyone else is hooked
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. myst33

    myst33 Well-Known Member

    +932
    Czech Republic
    Christian
    Single
    When you realize that 50% (at least) of those you are "hooked" will go through divorce or bad relationship breaks in the next 5 years, then you can realize that you are actually blessed. :)
     
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  3. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member

    624
    +434
    Catholic
    Single
    Yes, you're right :)
     
  4. LarityBug

    LarityBug New Member

    9
    +7
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    Compartmentalizing my life into productive singleness and hook ups. I guess it passes the time.
     
  5. morse86

    morse86 Junior Member

    +537
    United States
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Others
    By getting married.
     
  6. LarityBug

    LarityBug New Member

    9
    +7
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    Why didn't I think of that...
     
  7. morse86

    morse86 Junior Member

    +537
    United States
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Others
     
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  8. (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)

    (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ) Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,604
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    I don't think encouraging "hook ups" is the right thing to do.
     
  9. LarityBug

    LarityBug New Member

    9
    +7
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    Wasn't encouraging anything friendo.
     
  10. (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)

    (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ) Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,604
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Very well. I cannot say a whole lot about my thirties because I am only 33, but one thing that has helped me to cope with abstinence was remembering that it is not just merely about obeying God. It also has a lot about understanding why God ought to be obeyed in this regard.
     
  11. LarityBug

    LarityBug New Member

    9
    +7
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    Which is...
     
  12. (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)

    (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ) Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,604
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Well, there are many reasons. But the one I would focus on is that purity before marriage is not merely a thing you do because God said so. It isn't just about making God happy. It is also about your future spouse and your ability to be intimate, truly intimate with that person. Let me use a personal example that may better explain. Before I was saved, I guess you could say that I was very "experienced". My wife saved herself until marriage. Although I provide a lot of experience in the bedroom, all the experience in the world cannot take the place of the way she looks at me when we are intimate. For her, I am the one she was waiting for her entire life. I am the only one she fantasizes about. She compares me to no other. The passion and intimacy, true intimacy, far surpasses all my experience and my way around the woman's body. To be honest, I wish that I could look at her the same way, but I cannot. Sex is more special for her because it is more intimate for her. I am her one and only and she is my one of many.

    I guess the bottom line is that sexual purity is not just about you, it is also about your future spouse. It is not just about sin, it is also about building strong foundation in your marriage.
     
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  13. LarityBug

    LarityBug New Member

    9
    +7
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    That hasn't been my experience unfortunately. Men who wait just seem to be repressing things that ruin marriages.
     
  14. (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)

    (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ) Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,604
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    I am sorry to hear about that. All I can do at this point is share my regret for not waiting because I see how it has negatively affected my marriage.
     
  15. LarityBug

    LarityBug New Member

    9
    +7
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    How so?
     
  16. (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)

    (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ) Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,604
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    A large part of it has to do with the fact that because of my "experience" with multiple women, sex isn't as special to me as it is for her. Also, when we are intimate, I find myself thinking about my past flings. Not that I am imagining her as someone else. Rather, it may be something as trivial as something she may say that reminds me of something another woman said. Then I have the image of the other woman floating in my head while I am trying to make love to my wife. When this happens, I cannot be completely present with her because in a way the other woman is in the room with us. Does that makes sense? I believe that overall my marriage is good and our sex life is awesome. However, it could be better. Better because it is difficult to give myself to her completely because I gave myself away to so many other women. Please listen to me when I say that when you are married, you take every person you have ever slept with into your marriage bed. The more people you sleep with, the more difficult it becomes to give yourself to your spouse entirely. It is sad that for someone who waited over 30 years for me I cannot give her what she gives me. My marriage bed is truly blessed because of her purity. But my experience cannot make up for the blessings she may never have a chance to experience.
     
  17. LarityBug

    LarityBug New Member

    9
    +7
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    I feel so sorry for your wife. Why would anyone wait for that?
     
  18. (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)

    (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ) Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,604
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    She tells me I was worth the wait. Sorry things didn't work out for you.
     
  19. Sir Robbins

    Sir Robbins Looking for peanut butter

    727
    +205
    United States
    Christian
    Celibate
    US-Libertarian
    ^ wow.....

    I'll be 30 in September so I'm almost there but I've never been on a date in my life and the longer I go without it, the more I like it. I'm starting to love it. Being an ace, it's a lot easier for me than others I'd imagine. I have loads of hobbies and work involves me traveling all over the place so I'm rarely home anyways. Most of the people I know are married or on the path too. I don't affiliate with many outside work. I only hang at the local cigar lounge and train club. Both are NOT hang out spots for women obviously.
     
  20. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla Well-Known Member

    +1,704
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    Many people don’t surrender to God until adulthood. I’m glad I didn’t marry. I would prefer to commit to a godly companion than walk out an unwise union for the rest of my days.

    When I surrendered to Him I relinquished my former self and the mental and emotional baggage that came with my sins. I didn’t carry them with me into the present. If any lingering effects remain they should be addressed in prayer and with spiritual assistance if needed.

    My future spouse will have a new creation. Not some quasi holy Oreo. Our physical intimacy will be blessed as will the union. And I’m not a virgin.

    It is our responsibility to walk in the fullness of Christ’s sacrifice. We’ve been washed in His blood. And that includes sexual sins. Our redemption is complete. I’m yoked to Him and no other. The past is no more.
     
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