22 & Feeling like damaged goods.

[Feeling Broken]

I don't know where I can place this. I just want to be able to speak to someone.
My family isn't religious and when I was about five I was molested by a family member. He got sent to prison. I went to high school (age 11 here in the uk) and learned about God and the Good Book. Although my family never understood it, they respected my wanting to bring him into my life, would drive me to church and pick me up after church.
Discovering God, and his son who died for all our sins was the best thing I ever did.

I am finishing my nursing studies over here in the UK, and I end up crying nightly to myself now. I don't want sexual relations before marriage, but I feel like broken goods and my worst fear is to put myself out there dating with a good christian man, and them to cast me aside because i'm damaged goods and not a "real virgin."

I cry more often than not nowadays, and pray to God nightly about my pain, but the pain I feel inside my heart never fades. I feel like i'll never be loved the way I'll want to be. I want to get married someday, but I feel like no one could ever love me this way with whats happened to me, alongside me wanting to save myself for marriage.

Would staying single and fostering / adopting be the best choice for me in the future? I've thought about it.

Thank you for taking your time reading this. I cry nightly and would like support about my next steps in life.

 

[Christie insb]

I would not give up on marriage at age 22. I was abused too and felt like damaged goods and I was almost 36 before I got married. I pray that you will find a good man. If the guy is so superficial that he rejects you for something that was so not your fault he isn't worthy of a fine Christian woman like you. God has brought you to Him even though your family didn't know Him. I know that if you want to get married God will help you with this. I hope you can find a good counselor with professional training to help you understand that that evil person who hurt you was to blame, and you don't have to feel any shame.

 

[joshua 1 9]

I don't know where I can place this. I just want to be able to speak to someone.
My family isn't religious and when I was about five I was molested by a family member. He got sent to prison. I went to high school (age 11 here in the uk) and learned about God and the Good Book. Although my family never understood it, they respected my wanting to bring him into my life, would drive me to church and pick me up after church.
Discovering God, and his son who died for all our sins was the best thing I ever did.

I am finishing my nursing studies over here in the UK, and I end up crying nightly to myself now. I don't want sexual relations before marriage, but I feel like broken goods and my worst fear is to put myself out there dating with a good christian man, and them to cast me aside because i'm damaged goods and not a "real virgin."

I cry more often than not nowadays, and pray to God nightly about my pain, but the pain I feel inside my heart never fades. I feel like i'll never be loved the way I'll want to be. I want to get married someday, but I feel like no one could ever love me this way with whats happened to me, alongside me wanting to save myself for marriage.

Would staying single and fostering / adopting be the best choice for me in the future? I've thought about it.

Thank you for taking your time reading this. I cry nightly and would like support about my next steps in life.

You could start by reading what Moses says about this:

Deu 22:25 "But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. 26"But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case.…

 

[Halbhh]

I don't know where I can place this. I just want to be able to speak to someone.
My family isn't religious and when I was about five I was molested by a family member. He got sent to prison. I went to high school (age 11 here in the uk) and learned about God and the Good Book. Although my family never understood it, they respected my wanting to bring him into my life, would drive me to church and pick me up after church.
Discovering God, and his son who died for all our sins was the best thing I ever did.

I am finishing my nursing studies over here in the UK, and I end up crying nightly to myself now. I don't want sexual relations before marriage, but I feel like broken goods and my worst fear is to put myself out there dating with a good christian man, and them to cast me aside because i'm damaged goods and not a "real virgin."

I cry more often than not nowadays, and pray to God nightly about my pain, but the pain I feel inside my heart never fades. I feel like i'll never be loved the way I'll want to be. I want to get married someday, but I feel like no one could ever love me this way with whats happened to me, alongside me wanting to save myself for marriage.

Would staying single and fostering / adopting be the best choice for me in the future? I've thought about it.

Thank you for taking your time reading this. I cry nightly and would like support about my next steps in life.

I want to very strongly recommend this good-reading book to you, about someone in worse condition than you are, and what happened for her, Rahab of Jericho, who became an ancestor of Joseph and Mary. --

https://www.amazon.com/Pearl-Sand-Novel-Tessa-Afshar/dp/0802458815

You, my dear, are invaluable.

A song I love also came to mind --

 

[gym_class_hero]

We are all damaged goods in one way or another. Jesus makes us whole. You did nothing wrong and I pray you find peace. Find a good Christian counselor.

 

[Sketcher]

There are Christian men who won't be deterred by that.

What was done to you was not your fault. Please get whatever help you need for the issues you have, both for the sake of the men you date, and for yourself.

 

[Feeling Broken]

I would not give up on marriage at age 22. I was abused too and felt like damaged goods and I was almost 36 before I got married. I pray that you will find a good man. If the guy is so superficial that he rejects you for something that was so not your fault he isn't worthy of a fine Christian woman like you. God has brought you to Him even though your family didn't know Him. I know that if you want to get married God will help you with this. I hope you can find a good counselor with professional training to help you understand that that evil person who hurt you was to blame, and you don't have to feel any shame.

Your words late into the night have really give me comfort. I never thought about the fact that even though my family doesn't know him, he brought me to him regardless. I'll be thinking about that in the future.

Thank you for your words and support. I'm more than ever wanting to put myself out there with christian dating once I finish my studies now. You finding love and marriage at age at almost age 36 really gives me peace within my heart that it's never too late to find your soulmate even with going though the stuff that we have. You've helped me a lot, thank you so much for taking your time to reach out to me and give me this comfort.

You could start by reading what Moses says about this:

Deu 22:25 "But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. 26"But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case.…

I have read that but somehow still felt like I was broken goods. The fact that you pointed me to this has helped me think to myself "You read it often on your own, but now someone else has pointed you to this passage God is probably working through them to remind you it really is there for a reason."
You have made me feel calmer inside myself. Thank you.

I want to very strongly recommend this good-reading book to you, about someone in worse condition than you are, and what happened for her, Rahab of Jericho, who became an ancestor of Joseph and Mary. --

https://www.amazon.com/Pearl-Sand-Novel-Tessa-Afshar/dp/0802458815

You, my dear, are invaluable.

A song I love also came to mind --

This song is lovely, i'm going to ask for the album for my birthday!
I can't find book unfortunately, maybe because i'm, in the UK the link isnt working and I can't find it?

We are all damaged goods in one way or another. Jesus makes us whole. You did nothing wrong and I pray you find peace. Find a good Christian counselor.

I think that's a good idea, getting a christian therapist actually! Thank you so much!

We are all damaged goods in one way or another. Jesus makes us whole. You did nothing wrong and I pray you find peace. Find a good Christian counselor.

Thank you for keeping me in your prayers! I am thinking of finding a christian therapist.

<staff edit>

 

[Halbhh]

Your words late into the night have really give me comfort. I never thought about the fact that even though my family doesn't know him, he brought me to him regardless. I'll be thinking about that in the future.

Thank you for your words and support. I'm more than ever wanting to put myself out there with christian dating once I finish my studies now. You finding love and marriage at age at almost age 36 really gives me peace within my heart that it's never too late to find your soulmate even with going though the stuff that we have. You've helped me a lot, thank you so much for taking your time to reach out to me and give me this comfort.



I have read that but somehow still felt like I was broken goods. The fact that you pointed me to this has helped me think to myself "You read it often on your own, but now someone else has pointed you to this passage God is probably working through them to remind you it really is there for a reason."
You have made me feel calmer inside myself. Thank you.



This song is lovely, i'm going to ask for the album for my birthday!
I can't find book unfortunately, maybe because i'm, in the UK the link isnt working and I can't find it?



I think that's a good idea, getting a christian therapist actually! Thank you so much!


Thank you for keeping me in your prayers! I am thinking of finding a christian therapist.



I have never joined a christian forum before. I was afraid of doing so and reaching out to them about it. Which sounds stupid the more think about it now that I have come on here to strangers who have welcomed with open arms.

That book title is Pearl In The Sand, by Tessa Afshar

 

[Feeling Broken]

There are Christian men who won't be deterred by that.

What was done to you was not your fault. Please get whatever help you need for the issues you have, both for the sake of the men you date, and for yourself.

I shall be doing, thank you so much for taking your time to help me have the courage to have the help.

That book title is Pearl In The Sand, by Tessa Afshar

Thank you so much. I'll be looking it up now.

 

[paul1149]

I end up crying nightly to myself now. I don't want sexual relations before marriage, but I feel like broken goods and my worst fear is to put myself out there dating with a good christian man, and them to cast me aside because i'm damaged goods and not a "real virgin."

I've seen relatively few guys on this forum who were hung up on having a virgin, and every time I thought of how sorry I felt for the woman who eventually marries them. They are caught up in pride and selfishness, and I don't think you would want them as husbands for long. I'm a guy, and I can tell you that every time I fell in love the woman's past had nothing to do with it. All that mattered was that the love was mutual and the relationship sincere. If those foundation stones are in place (along with the Lord's peace, of course), then everything else can be worked out.

Life can be brutal at times. Very few of us skate through unscathed. But God's promise to those who love Him is to work everything for the good, even the bad stuff. His unfailing love and redemptive power are so amazing. Let that love envelop and comfort you. If you need to grieve, then do so, but it should be in the context of faith and hope (1Thess 4.13), so it doesn't become a pit we're stuck in. Make sure you're in the Word daily. Romans 8 is good to dwell on, and the Gospels repeatedly show Jesus' gentleness and kindness to women who had been abused and cast out. Also, the Body ministry of a good church can do wonders. I pray you find the freedom and release that is in Christ (Gal 5.1; Jer 29.11-ff).

 

[Godcrazy]

My dear. First, you are brave for coming here and talk about your fears and pain. That in itself shows you CAN overcome, and find a great man. You can do Anything.
It's important I think you find a good counselor or therapist that specialises in this abuse and trauma. There are free or quite cheap ones charity's might be a good idea
Don't carry this any longer. Because you need to heal. To get to where you want
Nothing of it was your fault !! Would you say that to anyone no that proves it.
To the guy... If anyone rejects you for your past, for something like that he's not worthy of calling himself christian.
Watch out however. There are many many Christian men who want sex before marriage and who will use any excuse. You will even get that it's OK.
So be careful.
But please get help. You are definitely worth it.

 

[EzekielsWheels]

I pray the Lord heals you for he came to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. May you be blessed with his peace.