20s vs 30s Millennials, and perspectives of elder respect

[Joined2krist]

Don't take like so seriously, lighten up a bit. You should have ignored his insult as a Christian.

 

[Arc F1]

I notice everyone who has replied so far is liberal or atheist.

Perhaps I should have rephrased:

Elder respect is something that people 30 and over, who were raised at least somewhat conservatively in a Christian household, were expected to abide by.

It's not just age as you can see from the comments. It's a liberal way of thinking. I'm 55 and I was taught to respect my elders. I taught my daughters the same way yet they don't really buy into it. They both picked up on the liberal way in school.

 

[Lycurgus89]

There's a lot of passive aggression. If you call these people out in person, they shut their mouths pretty fast. You can't do that online, so weasel-types get away with feeling big. I like to think they're compensating for getting all the wedgies.

 

[dzheremi]

My grandfather, who just passed last September at age 97, is, was, and always will be my hero. He fought the Nazis (the actual Nazis, not "people I disagree with politically") and the Fascists in WWII as a fighter pilot, and was always the life of the party until five years ago when his wife of 40-something years passed away from cancer. Predictably, he was not long for this world after that.

Anyway, I'm a few years older than the OP but younger than a few of the people who have responded to her so far, but I see people like my grandfather and many of his generation (as few as there may be left today) as real heroes and deserving of respect not just because they're old and they've been through a lot, but because the specific things they did are the types of things that make people worthy of respect: fighting oppressors and global threats, facing adversity with stoicism and a sense of duty and caring instead of complaining and entitlement, truly appreciating and valuing life, etc. People who are like this are still heroes. I'm sure there will be many heroes among the people who are in their 20s now, they're just probably not the ones who go out of their way to be rude online as though it's an accomplishment to tell everyone to shove it.

As to whether or not it's bad to have brought up age differences...I'm not sure I would've gone there myself (I'm of the view that me in my 20s wouldn't want to be lectured to by me in my late 30s, or vice versa, and that's probably normal and good; hopefully it shows a bit of growth), but at the same time I don't know that I'd necessarily take a 27 year old pastor's view as though it is law, either. Call me 'ageist' or whatever if you want, but I think the degree to which anyone of any age can see the perspectives held by both sides in an argument is more of a proof of their wisdom than just their age is, but that this ability is more often found among older people than among younger. It's why many people will advise against marrying too young ("you don't really know who you are yet", etc.), why destructive impulsivity is seen as a characteristic of youth, etc. I really do think there is something to living a bit longer so that you can have some perspective on who you are, why you believe and act as you do, etc. If you're lucky, at least some of that perspective will be gained by listening to older people who have already been through the stage of life that you're in, though of course a corollary of this is that plenty of older people bumble through life and never really 'get it', either. Maybe that's another way of measuring maturity or whatever you'd call it: knowing who to listen to, or knowing what advice from an elder is good and what is not. I know I certainly wish I hadn't listened to my father when I was in my early 20s and he advocated that I leave the first apartment I had ever rented ahead of the lease's end (I had graduated early from college, and hence had several months left on it) because "they'll never come after you for such a small amount of money" (WRONG!). That was a fun lesson to learn over the ensuing 10 years of dodging collection agency phone calls...hahaha. What can I say? He was an accountant; I assumed he'd be good with financial advice, since it was his job to handle millions of dollars of other people's money!

Just my two cents and probably not worth that. Ask this again in a few years and hopefully I'll have a better answer.

 

[kdm1984]

Hm, wow, interesting. Wasn't sure about the direction this thread was taking, but overall, I'm glad I started this discussion, and came back to see how it went. I see the perspectives on this are quite wide-ranging. And there are some who have come from a similar background to mine, after all.

This issue is such a tough one that the local church I went to couldn't even come to agreement on it, either -- Sr. pastor sees it one way (the old school way, in which I was raised), while the Assoc. pastor sees it the other way. It's merely the last in a number of recent conflicts indicating that I wasn't at the best-fit denomination; not enough agreement, doctrinally or practically. I'm now in the process of moving on from the LCMS and going to WELS.

 

[Lavaduder]

Pah! I know a lot of people older than me that act against parents or elders. Maybe it's where you are in the world? Most of my friends are 20s and greatly respect their elders.

Elders who are right with God, are wise council.

 

[Radical Pigeon]

Kinda reminds me of my twin brothers saying that "you think you know more than me just because you got out 1 min earlier." Don't mention your age, let your words speak for themselves.

 

[Sketcher]

There's a colossal difference.

I've noticed this tremendously in trying to interact with twentysomethings on various Discord groups, even within the church denomination I'm a part of.

Twentysomethings, in particular, don't seem to have been exposed much to the concept of elder respect. It's utterly foreign to the ones I've interacted with.

For example, when I was younger, if I ever told an older person to "shut up," I knew I would ABSOLUTELY face the possibility of at least ONE of the following:

1) a very stern lecture about my complete and utter disrespect
2) a slap across the face
3) an absolute refusal to engage me further until I apologized

Needless to say, I never told an older person to shut up more than once in my life.

Yet today I had a 20 year old on Discord tell me to "shut up" when I reminded him he was much younger than me (I'm almost 36) and had much less life experience.

The twentysomethings in that group, including an LCMS PASTOR (27 yrs old, one yr of service), said that the person posted that because I "provoked" him by mentioning age. They couldn't understand why I left the chat, and the LCMS pastor continued to try to lecture me about this on Reddit, insisting that me mentioning age was just as bad as him telling me to shut up.

I mentioned this elsewhere, including to the local LCMS church I go to, and NO ONE thinks what happened to me was justifiable in any way. They totally understood why I left the chat, and they totally supported the fact that I stood my ground.

However, these people are all older. They know of a time when telling someone older to shut up was just no no no no NO NO NO. You do NOT do that. And it was commonplace for elders to remind younger people about their age and experience. No one took that as some kind of 'provocation.' Come on.

Not sure when all this changed, but apparently it was a time span of less than a decade. Even a 31 year old pantheist I saw on Discord told a younger person that he needed to respect his mother as long as he was under her authority. But the 27 year olds and 28 year olds on a conservative Christian Discord couldn't grasp this. What on Earth!?

Clearly, 20s and 30s Millennials are on totally different pages regarding this subject.

I remember disrespect towards elders definitely being a thing in the 90's.

 

[Junia]

Jesus was no respecter of persons He loves and respected everybody. All ages! I try do the same