20s vs 30s Millennials, and perspectives of elder respect

[kdm1984]

There's a colossal difference.

I've noticed this tremendously in trying to interact with twentysomethings on various Discord groups, even within the church denomination I'm a part of.

Twentysomethings, in particular, don't seem to have been exposed much to the concept of elder respect. It's utterly foreign to the ones I've interacted with.

For example, when I was younger, if I ever told an older person to "shut up," I knew I would ABSOLUTELY face the possibility of at least ONE of the following:

1) a very stern lecture about my complete and utter disrespect
2) a slap across the face
3) an absolute refusal to engage me further until I apologized

Needless to say, I never told an older person to shut up more than once in my life.

Yet today I had a 20 year old on Discord tell me to "shut up" when I reminded him he was much younger than me (I'm almost 36) and had much less life experience.

The twentysomethings in that group, including an LCMS PASTOR (27 yrs old, one yr of service), said that the person posted that because I "provoked" him by mentioning age. They couldn't understand why I left the chat, and the LCMS pastor continued to try to lecture me about this on Reddit, insisting that me mentioning age was just as bad as him telling me to shut up.

I mentioned this elsewhere, including to the local LCMS church I go to, and NO ONE thinks what happened to me was justifiable in any way. They totally understood why I left the chat, and they totally supported the fact that I stood my ground.

However, these people are all older. They know of a time when telling someone older to shut up was just no no no no NO NO NO. You do NOT do that. And it was commonplace for elders to remind younger people about their age and experience. No one took that as some kind of 'provocation.' Come on.

Not sure when all this changed, but apparently it was a time span of less than a decade. Even a 31 year old pantheist I saw on Discord told a younger person that he needed to respect his mother as long as he was under her authority. But the 27 year olds and 28 year olds on a conservative Christian Discord couldn't grasp this. What on Earth!?

Clearly, 20s and 30s Millennials are on totally different pages regarding this subject.

 

[iluvatar5150]

People should be polite to others because they should be polite to others. Nobody owes you any special deference because of your age.

 

[kdm1984]

People should be polite to others because they should be polite to others. Nobody owes you any special deference because of your age.

Twentysomething spotted.

 

[iluvatar5150]

Twentysomething spotted.

39, actually, and your response could quite easily have been construed as telling me to shut up.

The age card is a weak play no matter who uses it, but from a 35yo, it’s especially silly.

 

[kdm1984]

Clearly you and I were not raised with the same standards, and you have no intention of showing me any polite respect or discourse in this thread. What you just wrote would be considered manipulation to goad in my household. I never told you to shut up, but merely pointed out you are the example of the kind of viewpoints I'm seeing more and more of every day, and did not see nearly as much of when I was growing up. I find it hard to believe you're 39, but if so, you were not raised with the same standards I saw and was expected to abide by.

 

[Occams Barber]

Twentysomething spotted.

I agree with @iluvatar5150 and I'm 72.

Deference is not automatic. It's something which must be earned.

Being 35 doesn't automatically grant you some special status when interacting with younger people.

OB

 

[kdm1984]

I notice everyone who has replied so far is liberal or atheist.

Perhaps I should have rephrased:

Elder respect is something that people 30 and over, who were raised at least somewhat conservatively in a Christian household, were expected to abide by.

 

[Dansiph]

There's a colossal difference.

I've noticed this tremendously in trying to interact with twentysomethings on various Discord groups, even within the church denomination I'm a part of.

Twentysomethings, in particular, don't seem to have been exposed much to the concept of elder respect. It's utterly foreign to the ones I've interacted with.

For example, when I was younger, if I ever told an older person to "shut up," I knew I would ABSOLUTELY face the possibility of at least ONE of the following:

1) a very stern lecture about my complete and utter disrespect
2) a slap across the face
3) an absolute refusal to engage me further until I apologized

Needless to say, I never told an older person to shut up more than once in my life.

Yet today I had a 20 year old on Discord tell me to "shut up" when I reminded him he was much younger than me (I'm almost 36) and had much less life experience.

The twentysomethings in that group, including an LCMS PASTOR (27 yrs old, one yr of service), said that the person posted that because I "provoked" him by mentioning age. They couldn't understand why I left the chat, and the LCMS pastor continued to try to lecture me about this on Reddit, insisting that me mentioning age was just as bad as him telling me to shut up.

I mentioned this elsewhere, including to the local LCMS church I go to, and NO ONE thinks what happened to me was justifiable in any way. They totally understood why I left the chat, and they totally supported the fact that I stood my ground.

However, these people are all older. They know of a time when telling someone older to shut up was just no no no no NO NO NO. You do NOT do that. And it was commonplace for elders to remind younger people about their age and experience. No one took that as some kind of 'provocation.' Come on.

Not sure when all this changed, but apparently it was a time span of less than a decade. Even a 31 year old pantheist I saw on Discord told a younger person that he needed to respect his mother as long as he was under her authority. But the 27 year olds and 28 year olds on a conservative Christian Discord couldn't grasp this. What on Earth!?

Clearly, 20s and 30s Millennials are on totally different pages regarding this subject.

Leviticus 19:32 KJV
(32) Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD.

 

[Dansiph]

Leviticus 19:32 KJV
(32) Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD.

There's also

Lamentations 5:12 KJV
(12) Princes are hanged up by their hand: the faces of elders were not honoured.

The fact the elders were not respected is a bad thing in this verse as well as in Leviticus 19:32

 

[GuyNad]

There's a colossal difference.

I've noticed this tremendously in trying to interact with twentysomethings on various Discord groups, even within the church denomination I'm a part of.

Twentysomethings, in particular, don't seem to have been exposed much to the concept of elder respect. It's utterly foreign to the ones I've interacted with.

For example, when I was younger, if I ever told an older person to "shut up," I knew I would ABSOLUTELY face the possibility of at least ONE of the following:

1) a very stern lecture about my complete and utter disrespect
2) a slap across the face
3) an absolute refusal to engage me further until I apologized

Needless to say, I never told an older person to shut up more than once in my life.

Yet today I had a 20 year old on Discord tell me to "shut up" when I reminded him he was much younger than me (I'm almost 36) and had much less life experience.

The twentysomethings in that group, including an LCMS PASTOR (27 yrs old, one yr of service), said that the person posted that because I "provoked" him by mentioning age. They couldn't understand why I left the chat, and the LCMS pastor continued to try to lecture me about this on Reddit, insisting that me mentioning age was just as bad as him telling me to shut up.

I mentioned this elsewhere, including to the local LCMS church I go to, and NO ONE thinks what happened to me was justifiable in any way. They totally understood why I left the chat, and they totally supported the fact that I stood my ground.

However, these people are all older. They know of a time when telling someone older to shut up was just no no no no NO NO NO. You do NOT do that. And it was commonplace for elders to remind younger people about their age and experience. No one took that as some kind of 'provocation.' Come on.

Not sure when all this changed, but apparently it was a time span of less than a decade. Even a 31 year old pantheist I saw on Discord told a younger person that he needed to respect his mother as long as he was under her authority. But the 27 year olds and 28 year olds on a conservative Christian Discord couldn't grasp this. What on Earth!?

Clearly, 20s and 30s Millennials are on totally different pages regarding this subject.

I don't think it's true with every younger people... Maybe back in the days it was too authoritarian... and maybe now it has crossed on the other side... I don't really have problems with folks that are in their 20s because I try to remember how it was for me and just relate to them

 

[Occams Barber]

I notice everyone who has replied so far is liberal or atheist.

Perhaps I should have rephrased:

Elder respect is something that people 30 and over, who were raised at least somewhat conservatively in a Christian household, were expected to abide by.

We should be polite in all our dealings with others but there is a difference between politeness and awarding special status. One advantage of age is the opportunity to collect experience and, hopefully, use this to better inform the decisions we make. Unfortunately wisdom; the ability to apply knowledge; is not an automatic feature of old age. Some of us are downright stupid.

Some older people will have a more formal view of the way people should interact. Based on basic politeness we often adopt their formality. We should do the same when we interact with younger people. This isn't 'elder respect' - it's the same respect you should extend to all those you interact with.

If you want to justify 'elder respect' you need to explain why this special status should be awarded.

Be a devil - question your assumptions .

OB

 

[iluvatar5150]

Clearly you and I were not raised with the same standards, and you have no intention of showing me any polite respect or discourse in this thread. What you just wrote would be considered manipulation to goad in my household. I never told you to shut up, but merely pointed out you are the example of the kind of viewpoints I'm seeing more and more of every day, and did not see nearly as much of when I was growing up. I find it hard to believe you're 39, but if so, you were not raised with the same standards I saw and was expected to abide by.

I interpreted your "twentysomething spotted" comment as an attempt to delegitimize my comment by pointing out my perceived youthfulness. If that wasn't your intent, fine, but given the rest of the context (i.e. a discussion about being offended at others' disrespectful speech and disregarding of age), you'd do well to articulate yourself a little more clearly.

Contrary to your claims, I have not been disrespectful to you - I've merely challenged your position and pointed out how preposterous it sounds to me.

I notice everyone who has replied so far is liberal or atheist.

Perhaps I should have rephrased:

Elder respect is something that people 30 and over, who were raised at least somewhat conservatively in a Christian household, were expected to abide by.

The user profile info lists political party affiliation, not the degree of formality of the environment in which one was raised. I was raised in a very conservative household and we were somewhat more formal in our interactions - for example, as a child, every adult would be referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss <Last Name>. It's been quite a while since I've heard anybody raise their kids like that and I would feel odd having a bunch of kids refer to me in that way unless, perhaps, I was in some legitimate position of authority over them beyond merely being older (e.g. if I were their school teacher). So on that front, yes, I am somewhat less formal than my parents' generation.

However, you're not merely talking about interactions with kids - you're talking about interactions with other adults who aren't all that much younger than you. To them, you're not an elder; you're a peer.

 

[thehehe]

I agree that deference is something that has to be won by acts rather than age. And yes, I am a twentysomething Yet my parents or older siblings in their thirties do agree with me too - I guess this is something our parents taught us then.
I am young, true, probably arrogant and pretentious too, but I never thought that if someone was older than me, that inevitably meant he/she had a better understanding of the world than me, and that because of that I should just keep my mouth shut and blindly agree with everything said. I do think that even at 22, I can bring something to elder people - some, not everyone of course, and not everything of course. I'm sorry if it does sound pretentious.
Yet, nothing should excuse rudeness, and telling you "shut up" is both rude and weak to me. You deserve to be treated in a respectful way - but it would also have been rude or weak if you were the one telling the other to shut up because he/she would be younger.
Don't know if I am a very cliché example of my generation though

 

[Lycurgus89]

Societies can be judged on the basis of their treatment of the elderly. The old bag who hates me because of my youth has still lived a long time, probably seen a lot, even if not you never know what they've been through. Nobody has it all together. So I think treating the elderly well is an obligation, but the elderly are obligated to work as long as they can and share insights with the young. Even if the coot is a terrible person to get along with, that doesn't absolve me of giving them their human dignity. Unless they are toxic in a way that puts my wellbeing at risk for a selfish, momentary gain.

 

[thecolorsblend]

Default respect based upon age went out with the hula hoop. Speaking of hula hoops, I got 99 problems but some entitled Boomer's comfort level ain't one of 'em.

 

[Dansiph]

I just heard this verse with the empahsis on "if".

Proverbs 16:31 The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.

 

[Lycurgus89]

Default respect based upon age went out with the hula hoop. Speaking of hula hoops, I got 99 problems but some entitled Boomer's comfort level ain't one of 'em.

Well. Everyone is owed some human dignity, even boomers. I think the elderly are entitled to some consideration, but in our society the elderly don't work until they die like in times past. That's a burden - especially as society has aged. I've noticed many gen x tend not to believe they are a part of society, that they are just individuals, and so they have this contempt for society and the future. Its like we never grow up anymore.

 

[thecolorsblend]

Batman Forever remains the best Superhero movie. - Me

That's... an interesting choice.

 

[Lycurgus89]

Bro, its the only choice.

Batman Forever >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> all that other cape stuff

Let me ask you, is Nicole Kidman ever so fine in any other superzero movie?

 

[thecolorsblend]

Well. Everyone is owed some human dignity, even boomers. I think the elderly are entitled to some consideration, but in our society the elderly don't work until they die like in times past. That's a burden - especially as society has aged. I've noticed many gen x tend not to believe they are a part of society, that they are just individuals, and so they have this contempt for society and the future. Its like we never grow up anymore.

Yeah, the X'ers have this preternatural nihilism that sort of gets old after a while. I predict they'll be pretty cantankerous retirees, assuming the human race lasts that long.

Bro, its the only choice.

Batman Forever >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> all that other cape stuff

Let me ask you, is Nicole Kidman ever so fine in any other superzero movie?

Far be it from me to judge your taste in movies.

Just an interesting choice, that's all. But my favorite is Batman Returns so what do I know?