1 Timothy 3:2 Husband of One Wife

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Show me in scripture that exposes why these men divorced their wives with the idea that it would bring them closer to God and I'll show you scripture where PAUL HIMSELF suggests that all be like him....single...and how he was trying to spare men of coming troubles that came with married life.

It was only a suggestion. He did not demand the single life for believers, In fact he instructed Timothy to discipline those who forbade marriage (1 Timothy 4:3).

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Paul was convinced that the end times were immanent. He saw no point in marriage and children.

He must have changed his mind about that by the time he wrote his first letter to Timothy, because he was right against those who forbade marriage and demanded the single life for believers.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

i have thought about this verse in trying to reconcile it with the seeming silence on polygyny in the OT. Arguments based on cultural norms of the time seem flimsy since God's view of any issue does not depend on what we think. I'm not well versed in translation, but perhaps the "must" should actually be "should"? As was pointed out earlier, Timothy was not married, but then again was he a deacon, or was he something else? Clearly to reconcile this verse with the rest of scripture requires thinking outside the box of what we think we know.

Anyway, one wife is enough. If I had two or three wives, that would be two more females to nag me.

 

[JackRT]

He must have changed his mind about that by the time he wrote his first letter to Timothy, because he was right against those who forbade marriage and demanded the single life for believers.

A great many bible scholars are convinced that 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus were all written by the same author about 50 years after Paul's death. So, yes there was a change.

 

[JackRT]

Anyway, one wife is enough. If I had two or three wives, that would be two more females to nag me.

Many years ago I asked a Muslim professor of mine if he intended to take his limit of four wives. He looked at me in astonishment. "Do I look like I am crazy?"

 

[Forgiven57]

Anyway, one wife is enough. If I had two or three wives, that would be two more females to nag me.

Maybe. I couldn't handle more than one wife either. That is entirely different than saying it's forbidden though. I've read many forum discussions where some try to prove that it is sin, but it always seems to involve doing violence to scripture. I'm not convinced either way at this point.

 

[pescador]

Timothy had much to do with churches that were composed of more pagans than Jews by the time Paul wrote his letter to him. The letter to Timothy was written late in Paul's ministry and while he was a prisoner in Rome. Therefore his instructions would refer to pagan Christians who have come from a culture were polygamy was fairly common.

I don't think that there is a scriptural basis for saying this.

 

[pescador]

... Arguments based on cultural norms of the time seem flimsy since God's view of any issue does not depend on what we think...

The Bible must be understood in terms of cultural context. We DO NOT live in any way, shape, or form like the "Jews and Greeks" of New Testament times. Taking something out of context, including the subject of marriage and divorce, can result in serious error. It is wrong to lift verses from letters from Paul to the church at Corinth and to the church at Rome, a letter from Paul to Timothy and a verse from Matthew's gospel and form a reliable doctrine regarding divorce and remarriage from them. To the OP I would suggest doing your own bible study on the issue and let God speak to you about it.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I don't think that there is a scriptural basis for saying this.

Probably not. There may be a more historical basis for it. However, there are a lot of things that the churches do that are not specifically dealt with in scripture. I didn't think that the scripture was a complete and detailed manual for Christian life and practice. If it was, why do we need the Holy Spirit to guide us? All we would have to do is consult the perfect and complete operating manual. Some think that the scriptures are "the perfect" that Paul was writing about in 1 Corinthians 13. If that is so for them, then they don't need any extra guidance from the Holy Spirit, because His guidance (in their view) would be inferior to the scriptures that they would consult. But we have seen that the scriptures, in the many translations we have, are not absolutely perfect, so we need the involvement of the Holy Spirit to compliment what we read in the pages of the Biblical text.

However, why would Paul mention "one wife" if there was the possibility that there could not be believing candidates for eldership who might have had more than one wife? He gives other instructions, ie: novices. This means that there were young, immature believers aspiring to eldership. Alcoholics: There was the possibility that there were those in the church who liked a little more than moderate consumption of alcohol. Also, that there were sober, temperate folks there who would be eminently suitable for eldership.

If Paul was living in our present time in one of our Western countries where polygamy was very uncommon, he may not include that instruction because he would know that every candidate for eldership, if married, would have only one wife. Now when he says, "one wife", does that mean that he would not admit single candidates as elders?

These are interesting questions for discussion.

 

[DarthNeo]

Great question, going to a Baptist church, they take it to the Nth degree...

Does the Greek clear it up any? I don't know...

It makes more sense to me as if means a man having only ONE CURRENT wife...

Now if a man has been married and divorced many times, then the church needs to use its own discretion...

 

[Big Drew]

Side note going back to the OP:

My wife and I had lunch today with the pastor and his wife...we discussed this subject in detail...in regards to this verse, the pastor believes the translation to be better rendered as "One woman man." He explained how there are many people that he has known that have been married more than once, but would be considered one woman men, in that they don't stray, they don't wander and what have you...he also said he knew plenty of people that have only been married once, but could not be considered one woman men, because of their lust, fornication and adultery...he said the biggest thing that the church looks at when setting someone aside for the position of deacon or elder is their character, are they above reproach?

We discussed divorce at great length, and agreed that it's not an unpardonable sin, as many make it out to be...but, we also agree that it should be a last resort. We also discussed restitution, and how that should be handled in regards to divorce and remarriage...should a repentant spouse, looking for resolution divorce their current spouse and remarry the previous one? Of course not...that only causes more sin, and more people being hurt...he said he believes the proper way in this regard is to make a vow to God to be the best husband or wife you can be in the current marriage, and live up to that promise...

It was a very fruitful conversation. My wife and I had been anxious about this meeting, and felt that this would be a very big deciding factor on whether or not this was going to be our home church...we feel even more so now, after having this conversation, that this is where He wants us for this season.

 

[Big Drew]

Great question, going to a Baptist church, they take it to the Nth degree...

Does the Greek clear it up any? I don't know...

It makes more sense to me as if means a man having only ONE CURRENT wife...

Now if a man has been married and divorced many times, then the church needs to use its own discretion...

That was a point the pastor made today, in our chat...he said that someone that has been married 5 or 6 times probably would have some issues that would make him ineligible...I couldn't disagree.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Side note going back to the OP:

My wife and I had lunch today with the pastor and his wife...we discussed this subject in detail...in regards to this verse, the pastor believes the translation to be better rendered as "One woman man." He explained how there are many people that he has known that have been married more than once, but would be considered one woman men, in that they don't stray, they don't wander and what have you...he also said he knew plenty of people that have only been married once, but could not be considered one woman men, because of their lust, fornication and adultery...he said the biggest thing that the church looks at when setting someone aside for the position of deacon or elder is their character, are they above reproach?

We discussed divorce at great length, and agreed that it's not an unpardonable sin, as many make it out to be...but, we also agree that it should be a last resort. We also discussed restitution, and how that should be handled in regards to divorce and remarriage...should a repentant spouse, looking for resolution divorce their current spouse and remarry the previous one? Of course not...that only causes more sin, and more people being hurt...he said he believes the proper way in this regard is to make a vow to God to be the best husband or wife you can be in the current marriage, and live up to that promise...

It was a very fruitful conversation. My wife and I had been anxious about this meeting, and felt that this would be a very big deciding factor on whether or not this was going to be our home church...we feel even more so now, after having this conversation, that this is where He wants us for this season.

Sounds like a well-balanced pastor. We need more of those!

 

[Big Drew]

Sounds like a well-balanced pastor. We need more of those!

Amen to that! I could really get going on this, but that's definitely a subject for another thread, lol.

 

[Greg Merrill]

I was always under the impression is meant one wife at a time? In other words you couldn't have multiple wives and be a deacon or elder. I found this and thought it had some really good things to say about this subject:
Can a man who is divorced and/or remarried be an elder?
tulc(hopes Big Drew's search goes well!)

I like the link above by tulc. One will have to open where it says "click to expand" to see the link. It pretty much covers the bases.