Shingles bears no relation to another person having chicken pox, if it is that serious then the individual with shingles needs permanent medication for the shingles thats what my dad had to do after losing his imunity, its not that big of deal, but again has zero to do with weather or not someone else is vaccinated, if your medical profesional indicated this you would do well to look for another.
I would question someone getting whooping cough repeatedly as ro its validity, it may be possible but that person probably would not get immunity from the DTaP in that case, so its kind of a mute point. Whooping cough in adults is like chicken pox in kids an inconvenience, only very, very rarely life threatening.
I would never try to convince anyone that not vaccinating is good policy, I and all my children as well as my wife are vaccinated, of course we dont do flu shots, I would however never sit myself up high and mighty and try to take the right to decide this crucial question from others. I have family members who are not vaccinated because of religious concerns and I quite respect their right to do so.
I really have not seen the ugliness you are discussing, snd vaccinating is not risk free read those papers they give you when you get vaccinated, bad stuff happens to some people.