“A Li’l Bit About Me” (Please read OP first)

[desmalia]

I thought this might be a fun way to get to know each other a little better. Some of the other forums have done similar things with great success. Enjoy!
Oh, and feel free to add or delete any questions in your post if you like. (and please PM me if you want any added to the master list!!)

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Copy this into your post:

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• (answer)

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• (answer)

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• (answer)

Do you like kids in general?

• (answer)

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• (answer)

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• (answer)

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• (answer)

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• (answer)

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• (answer)

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• (answer)

Is your spouse a Christian?

• (answer)

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• (answer)

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• (answer)

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• (answer)

What are your goals for the future?

• (answer)

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• (answer)

How did you meet your spouse?

• (answer)

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• (answer)

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• (answer)

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• (answer)

What are your passions in life?

• (answer)

What are your hobbies?

• (answer)

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• (answer)

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• (answer)

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• (answer)

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• (answer)

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• (answer)

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• (answer)

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• (answer)

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• (answer)

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• (answer)

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• (answer)

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• (answer)

 

[fuzzymel]

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• So many reasons really so thats a hard one to answer.

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• As soon as I realised it was an option.

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• The selfish bingo always really annoys me.

Do you like kids in general?

• Babies - No, Children - Sometimes, Teenagers - Yes

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• I used to be. I stopped when I got sick. Working with teenagers was really hard work but I would love to do it again if I got the opportunity

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• Less stress and more quality time with my husband

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• My family are totally cool with it. DH's are a little upset because they want grandchildren. Friends are not too bad. Co-workers bingo the most.

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• Yes

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• Depends on who gives it. Sometimes I can get angry but thats mostly with the selfish bingo.

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• Since I was about 7 or 8

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yes

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• Fairly liberal I think. I like to question stuff. It annoys people but I dont see the point in church rules when there is no biblical basis. I think questions are good because they give you a greater understanding of your faith.

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I work in finance. Its quite hard work but a lot of fun. DH is a storeman.

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• I am more career orientated and am looking to do accountancy exams in the future. DH is very easy going and happy in what he does. He is not very forward looking whereas I am.

What are your goals for the future?

• I want to see the world.

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• 2 and a half years

How did you meet your spouse?

• We have known each other since we were very young and been friends for years. We started going out 4 years ago about six months after splitting up with his best friend.

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• He is so chilled out, easy going and extremely supportive

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Don't rush things.

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• I love to read but dont have a fave author.

What are your passions in life?

• Animals

What are your hobbies?

• I am a Sims 2 addict, Lost addict and animal addict lol.

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• Large groups make me nervous because I am rather shy. DH is more social.

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• Not with my church community. I need to find a new church but am having trouble. Haven't been to church since October which I know isnt very good but its hard to find somewhere I fit in.

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• 3 cats, 2 hamsters and tropical fish. My cats are totally my kids.

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• Lost and Prison Break. I dont really have a fave movie but I do love watching them. I just watched Borat which was so funny.

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• I have travelled round the western states of America, been to western Canada, Florida, Paris and Spain. There are a million places on my list of places to see.

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• I guess its this one.

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• I am self critical so not applicable.

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• Most things

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Pasta

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• Getting engaged.

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• Cant think of anything.

 

[desmalia]

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• Lots of reasons. No parental ability or instinct, lack of patience, don't really like kids, etc. We're just not kid people.

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• On some level, yes.

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• The "you'll change your mind when you're older" thing. Like we're too immature to know what we want still.

Do you like kids in general?

• DH does. Me, not so much. There are some sweet ones out there. But overall, I don't really feel the need to be around them at all.

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• Nope

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• DH and I have kinda unorthodox schedules. I love the freedom to do what we want, when we want. Oh, and sleep. Sleep is good.

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• Most of our family is fine with it, though our moms are a little sad that they won't get any more grandkids. Church is tough, but survivable for the most part. Friends are supportive though not all understand.

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• One couple. But that's only because they're not married and one doesn't want kids yet (if ever).

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• Depending on who it is and how it's presented, I can get pretty angry. That's something I'm trying to work on.

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• Grew up in the church, but became a serious Christian in my early 20's.

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yes

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• Conservative/Bible fundamentalist. I always care more about what the Bible says than what society or even some churches say.

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I'm a SAHW right now, but we're building some home-based internet businesses. By trade I'm a designer/desktop publisher. I'm taking time off to upgrade and explore my options. I also need the break as I was really burned out. DH is a sheetmetal mechanic. He also has a very high IQ and is a bit of an "inventor" at heart. I so admire his mind.

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• Nope

What are your goals for the future?

• Travel, buy a home, settle in a nice quiet community. We'd love to retire in a nice cabin on a secluded beach and live a simple life. I would love to go back to school.

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• Eight months

How did you meet your spouse?

• christiancafe.com

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• So many things! His inner strength, his work ethic, his incredibly kind, loving heart...

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Never expect the other person to just "know" what you're thinking.

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• Yes. Favourite authors that come to mind... John MacArthur, Ravi Zacharias.

What are your passions in life?

• Honestly I don't know right now! I'm in a bit of a tailspin after a crazy year last year. My husband and my cats for sure. Also defending the Bible is a big one for me.

What are your hobbies?

• Again, things have been crazy, so my hobbies have been adjusted. I used to be a huge fan of auto racing, and even volunteered at the track when they came to town. That's been on the backburner though. I think online chatting is probably my main one lately.

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• Nope. Neither of us are social. I like to have a few close friends. We're both home bodies for the most part. But we are fairly close with our families.

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• Nope. For the reason I posted above. It's hard to fit in when you're not naturally social. People assume you're a snob. And if you don't have kids to talk about... well what good are ya? lol

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• Yes. Two cats: Ru and Stumpy. They're basically our kids, but we don't really spend money on them or anything. We may be getting a kitten as my MIL's cat just had babies and DH is kinda getting sucked in... lol

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• I used to be terrible about watching too much TV (especially sci-fi). But that's changed since I met DH. I have one show that I cannot miss: Lost.
• When it comes to movies we mostly watch comedies. Most recently we rented Taladega Nights and Open Season. Both were hilarious.

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• I've been to a few US states and have also travelled through Asia. I would love to see some parts of Africa and Europe. I'd also love to see Israel some day.

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• I spend most of my time in Christian Apologetics and the Fundamentalist Churches forums.

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• That I am one of God's children. I don't know why He wants me, but He does and that makes me feel special. Edit: ok, I should add something more specific... I'm very good at being laid back and handling the "small stuff". I have the occasional creative "burst" of inspiration that I can express either visually or through words.

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• LOL, lots of things. I'd like to be smarter and more "traditionally female" (administrative minded, motherly, etc.) Edit: I'd like to be able to see myself the way my husband sees me and be more content with who I am.

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Asian foods, especially sushi and dim sum. DH is a strictly meat and potatoes kinda guy. lol

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• OK, I know it's cheesy but I have to say my wedding day.

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• I'm really enjoying getting to know all of you on this forum.

 

[Epoh99]

Great idea!!!

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• We just don't. That may seem weird but we just have never wanted them. Of course there are reasons like I think pregnancy is gross, we don't want the responsibility or committment, and so on.

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• Pretty much.

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• Hmmm, I'll have to think on that one.

Do you like kids in general?

• Yep, if I'm in control of the situation. Usually random kids in public get on my nerves but if I'm working in children's ministry or the boss of the kids than I love them.

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• Yes, have been since 7th grade. That's probably why I don't want kids, too much children's min.

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• Being able to go where I want, when I want to go.

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• My family and friends are very accepting. His family... ha! We won't even go there. Church people, not so much. Part of that I think is because I've had all of the church members kids in children's min at one point or another. Not to boast, but kids love me and I'm super good with them. So all the people at church are unable to comprehend why I don't want any of my own.

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• One of my best friends doesn't have kids but she's also not married. Now that I think about it, even the single people I know want kids once they get married. Wow, I really am a freak. Thanks a lot for bringing that to my attention, Desmalia.

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• I am so not confrontational so I just smile and laugh while inside I'm fuming.

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• 24 years

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yes

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• Conservative

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I'm trying to find a career. Right now I'm working for a non-profit but PRAYING that I change jobs soon.

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• Hard to answer that. I am ambitious inside but fear of failure and procrastination due to perfectionism hold me back. My husband, not so much ambitious.

What are your goals for the future?

• If I get this job I really want than I hope to become an insurance fraud investigator, pay off debt, get a house, overcome anxiety, and grow closer in my walk with the Lord so that even if I don't get any of those things I will be content.

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• 7 years 5 months

How did you meet your spouse?

• At church in Sunday School

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• His calmness and peace. He does not worry about anything!

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Talk about EVERYTHING before marriage and if you have any doubts at all, postpone the wedding.

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• Yes, yes, yes. Honestly, my favorite authors are so numerous and vast I can't even begin to list them.

What are your passions in life?

• Music, reading, encouraging people, my dog, and my husband.

What are your hobbies?

• Playing piano and violin, reading, children's min, travelling when we have the money, and riding quads when we have the time.

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• That's a tough question. I am very social at church but I have to force myself to be. Inside I am shy and insecure but my outer persona is that of a confident, outgoing person. When I go to functions, even if it's with family, I get quiet because of nerves and insecurity so people think I'm a snob. My husband does not like people and would happy being just with me and our dog.

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• Nope, sure don't. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't cuss, and don't have or want kids.

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• Yep and they are totally my kids. I actually only own one dog but I also claim my sister's dog as mine because he stays with us a lot of the time. He and my dog are best friends.

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• TV: Bones, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, The First 48, Miami Ink, American Idol, Cold Case Files and Forensic Files. MOVIES: Too numerous to name.

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• I've been to about 10-12 states in the USA along with Canada and Mexico. I'd like to see more of Canada along with several countries in Europe and more states along the east coast in the US. My dream is to go to Prince Edward Island (PEI)

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• Childfree. I used to browse more but I've find I fit in most with the childfree people. They're all so nice!

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• My public speaking ability

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• Stop being afraid of everything and worrying non-stop.

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Mexican!

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• Winning an award at a speech competition. I have never been so proud of myself. (I know, I know I should say my wedding day or when I met my husband. )

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• Feel free to PM me anytime with prayer requests, needs for encouragement, or anything else.

 

[Mskedi]

Great idea!!!

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• We just don't. That may seem weird but we just have never wanted them. Of course there are reasons like I think pregnancy is gross, we don't want the responsibility or committment, and so on.

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• Pretty much.

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• Hmmm, I'll have to think on that one.

Do you like kids in general?

• Yep, if I'm in control of the situation. Usually random kids in public get on my nerves but if I'm working in children's ministry or the boss of the kids than I love them.

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• Yes, have been since 7th grade. That's probably why I don't want kids, too much children's min.

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• Being able to go where I want, when I want to go.

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• My family and friends are very accepting. His family... ha! We won't even go there. Church people, not so much. Part of that I think is because I've had all of the church members kids in children's min at one point or another. Not to boast, but kids love me and I'm super good with them. So all the people at church are unable to comprehend why I don't want any of my own.

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• One of my best friends doesn't have kids but she's also not married. Now that I think about it, even the single people I know want kids once they get married. Wow, I really am a freak. Thanks a lot for bringing that to my attention, Desmalia.

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• I am so not confrontational so I just smile and laugh while inside I'm fuming.

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• 24 years

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yes

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• Conservative

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I'm trying to find a career. Right now I'm working for a non-profit but PRAYING that I change jobs soon.

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• Hard to answer that. I am ambitious inside but fear of failure and procrastination due to perfectionism hold me back. My husband, not so much ambitious.

What are your goals for the future?

• If I get this job I really want than I hope to become an insurance fraud investigator, pay off debt, get a house, overcome anxiety, and grow closer in my walk with the Lord so that even if I don't get any of those things I will be content.

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• 7 years 5 months

How did you meet your spouse?

• At church in Sunday School

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• His calmness and peace. He does not worry about anything!

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Talk about EVERYTHING before marriage and if you have any doubts at all, postpone the wedding.

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• Yes, yes, yes. Honestly, my favorite authors are so numerous and vast I can't even begin to list them.

What are your passions in life?

• Music, reading, encouraging people, my dog, and my husband.

What are your hobbies?

• Playing piano and violin, reading, children's min, travelling when we have the money, and riding quads when we have the time.

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• That's a tough question. I am very social but I have to force myself to be. Inside I am shy and insecure but outer persona is that of a confident, outgoing person. My husband does not like people and would happy being just with me and our dog.

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• Nope, sure don't. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't cuss, and don't have kids.

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• Yep and they are totally my kids. I actually only own one dog but I also claim my sister's dog as mine because he stays with us a lot of the time. He and my dog are best friends.

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• TV: Bones, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, The First 48, Miami Ink, American Idol, Cold Case Files and Forensic Files. MOVIES: Too numerous to name.

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• I've been to about 10-12 states in the USA along with Canada and Mexico. I'd like to see more of Canada along with several countries in Europe and more states along the east coast in the US. My dream is to go to Prince Edward Island (PEI)

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• Childfree. I used to browse more but I've find I fit in most with the childfree people. They're all so nice!

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• My public speaking ability

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• Stop being afraid of everything and worrying non-stop.

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Mexican!

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• Winning an award at a speech competition. I have never been so proud of myself. (I know, I know I should say my wedding day or when I met my husband. )

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• Feel free to PM me anytime with prayer requests, needs for encouragement, or anything else.

 

[desmalia]

One of my best friends doesn't have kids but she's also not married. Now that I think about it, even the single people I know want kids once they get married. Wow, I really am a freak. Thanks a lot for bringing that to my attention, Desmalia.

Hehe, welcome to the freak club!!

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• Let me count the ways.
  
  We have many, many reasons. If I started typing them all out this post would get way too long. But the main ones are:
  
  We're both HSP's who are very stressed by noise and chaos.
  
  I had a miserable childhood and young adulthood, and all I want now (and all I can handle now) is a peaceful life.
  
  I don't have a maternal instinct and have serious doubts about my ability to be a good parent.
  
  We just simply have no desire for, or interest in, children.
  
  
  

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• Sort of. I've never had a desire for children, but when I was younger I kind of assumed I'd have kids someday, just because that's what people do. However, it turns out that I have fertility issues, and it would take a deliberate effort (such as taking fertility drugs or adopting) to have children, and we have no desire to make that effort. We find ourselves being more relieved by, and grateful for, my infertility every day.
  
  

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• I don't think this is on the official bingo card, but the most annoying thing ever said to me was, "I'm praying that God will change your mind about having children." (Said in a condescending tone, of course.) It's not that I'm opposed to God changing my mind, if He so chooses, but I hope He doesn't do so just because someone else wants Him to! And I just didn't like the attitude of the person, as if she thought there's something wrong with me that needs fixing.
  
  
  

Do you like kids in general?

• No. Not really. I am always very hesitant to admit that to people though. It's a huge taboo in our society to admit you don't like children. What kind of person doesn't like sweet, innocent children?
  
  
  

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• No. I was railroaded into teaching Sunday School in the past, but I will never let that happen again!
  
  

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• The peace and quiet.
  
  

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• Our close friends are very accepting. Family, not so much. Our parents want grandchildren. As for church, I'm not sure, because we're new here in this town and church, and we haven't gotten to know huge amounts of people yet. I would say generally, however, that most church people are not accepting of our childfreedom.
  
  

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• All of our married friends either have children or are currently trying to conceive. We have friends who don't want children, but they're not married, so it's not a huge issue for them.
  
  One of my mom's closest friends and her husband are childfree, and interestingly, she has a very similar personality to mine.
  
  

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• Depends who it is. If it's my mom, I tell her off. If it's anyone else, I either politely try to explain my reasons in a way so that they'll understand, or I just smile and nod and don't say anything else. I'm not good with confrontation. I'd rather just let things go. Of course, I then go home and either obsess about what they said, or I cry. Or both.
  
  
  

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• I accepted Jesus when I was 6, fell away in my teens, then committed my life to Jesus in a serious way when i was 22.
  
  
  

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yes.
  
  

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• Moderate, I think. It's really difficult for me to put a label on myself. I know I'm not a liberal Christian, but when I hear some of the things conservative Christians say, I know I'm not one of them, either. I'm somewhere in the middle.
  
  

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I'm a SAHW, and I spend my time managing our household, managing our finances, making sure all my husband's needs and desires are met, reading non-fiction, studying various topics that interest me, indulging my photography hobby, etc.
  
  My husband is a physicist, and is currently a postdoctoral fellow at a university. He is hoping to get a permanent faculty position somewhere soon.
  
  
  

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• I'm not ambitious or career-oriented at all, but my husband is very much so.
  
  
  

What are your goals for the future?

• Once we're settled somewhere more permanently (meaning when my husband has a permanent job at a university), I plan to go back to school and study languages/linguistics (depending on what the university we end up at offers).
  
  
  

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• 2 1/2 years.
  
  

How did you meet your spouse?

• Online, on a Christian website similar to CF.
  
  
  

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• His intelligence and wisdom.
  
  
  

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Actually, I would start with giving advice to singles, and I would tell them to choose someone they're very compatible with, personality-wise, unless they're the type of person who thrives on drama.
  
  Then I would advise young couples that love isn't all fuzzy feelings, it's a commitment, and a choice. When the fuzzy feelings aren't there, you can choose to love your spouse unconditionally. And a husband and wife should put each other first (after God, of course), before parents, before friends, before careers, and I would even dare to say, before children. The relationship between a husband and a wife is an earthly representation of the relationship between Christ and the church, and is therefore very important to God. Your spouse is the only one you make vows to, and therefore should be the most important person to you. The two of you should see yourselves as a team, facing life together, and you should have each other's backs, so to speak. And even if, God forbid, your spouse doesn't live up to his end of the deal, you should still strive to live up to yours, while praying for your spouse to step up. You can't control anyone else's actions, you can only control your own, so it's up to you to do the best you can and keep your conscience clean, no matter what your spouse is doing. I have seen God work a miracle in my parents' marriage, so I know that anything is possible.
  
  
  

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• I love to read, but I mostly read non-fiction and I don't really have any favourite authors. I can tell you what genres I like though. I like religion, history, psychology, linguistics, science, and especially travel.
  
  
  

What are your passions in life?

• My husband, reading, learning, scenic photography, travel.
  
  
  

What are your hobbies?

• Reading, scenic photography.
  
  
  

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• No, we're both introverts. We don't like large gatherings or social obligations.
  
  However, I'm very close to the friends I do have, and my friendships tend to be very deep and meaningful.
  
  
  

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• No, I don't feel that I fit in. I have always been different, in many ways. Most people don't understand me.
  
  I seem to be a person who inspires strong reactions in people. People either love me or hate me, with not much in between.
  
  
  

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• No, we don't have pets, because we just haven't gotten settled enough to have pets yet, but we both love cats and want at least one cat very badly!
  
  
  

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• Movies:
  
  Notting Hill
  French Kiss
  (Pretty much any romantic movie set in Europe.)
  
  
  TV (some people might not have heard of most of these):
  
  The Office (British)
  The Office (American)
  Red Dwarf
  Keeping up Appearances
  Coronation Street
  Knights of Prosperity
  American Idol
  Canadian Idol
  Corner Gas
  Frasier
  
  
  
  

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• I've been to 5 provinces in my own country, to Washington State in the US, to England, and to Scotland. I want to go to Australia, New Zealand, and almost all of the Mediterranean countries.
  
  
  

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• This one.
  
  

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• I'm a very good wife to my husband.
  
  
  

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• I'd like to be more socially confident.
  
  
  

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Eclectic.
  
  
  

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• My wedding day, followed closely by each day we spent in the Northumberland countryside, which was so beautiful and peaceful it took my breath away.

 

[snoochface]

I love this idea, and I find it fascinating that so many of us have so much in common.

Here's me:

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• A lot of reasons, but primarily for me it's because I don't think I would be a good mother. My husband has already raised two kids, and he's done.
  

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• Other than a brief period just before getting married, yeah pretty much.
  

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• The selfish one always sticks in my craw. The most recent one that gets under my skin is the "What do you do all day long?" one.
  

Do you like kids in general?

• I really don't.
  

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• No, I couldn't be, I don't have the patience for it.
  

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• The freedom of time and resources that we enjoy.
  

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• Family annoys me, friends leave me alone about it, and church -- they have their moments. Most of the time they assume that because I have grown step-children, it "counts" enough
  

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• Yeah, one of our best couple-friends are child-free and happy about it.
  

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• Unfortunately, I tend to get defensive, and occasionally pretty snarky.
  

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• Three years, almost to the day.
  

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yep.
  

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• Conservative as far as believing the Bible and how it says we should be living our lives. Politically I am very much in the middle, maybe leaning a bit toward the liberal end, because I think politics have nothing to do with Christianity.
  

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I'm a SAHW. Hubby would prefer I not say for him
  

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• He moreso than me, but neither of us are strongly ambitious.
  

What are your goals for the future?

• To have a happy, healthy, long life with my husband, and to do what God wants me to do ministry-wise.
  

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• Just over 7 years.
  

How did you meet your spouse?

• Karaoke
  

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• Wow, everything. His intelligence, his gentleness, his kindness, his humor.
  

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Work out every single major life issue (kids, money, career, family, etc.) before you tie the knot!
  

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• I love to read. Favorite authors are Stephen King, Dean Koontz, love the Harry Potter books, Lord of the Rings of course, Mary Higgins Clark. I'm a big fan of children's lit, ironically enough.
  

What are your passions in life?

• My husband is my primary passion.
  

What are your hobbies?

• I like a lot of TV and movies, love to read, play on the computer probably more than I should.

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• He is way more social than I am. I could be a hermit and be happy. But I'm more outgoing when I am social - he's very shy.
  

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• I don't think I really fit in, no. Especially not with my church community.
  

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• I love my puppy! She's a black lab mixed with mutt.
  

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• LOST - huge fan. 24, Gilmore Girls, Survivor, most reality shows. My favorite movies are the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Steel Magnolias, and Ever After: A Cinderella Story.
  

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• I've been to Italy and throughout most of the U.S. I would love to go to New Zealand.
  

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• Probably the Lost sub-forum within Small Screen, and the Christian Advice forum.
  

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• Ugh. No answer.

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• Heh. No answer.
  

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Italian and Mexican are my favorites.
  

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• My wedding day, probably, or the entire week of our honeymoon. Every day with my husband is the best day, though.
  

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• Y'all know so much already!
  

 

[snoochface]

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• The selfish one always sticks in my craw. The most recent one that gets under my skin is the "What do you do all day long?" one.

I'm changing this answer. It occurred to me after I hit Submit that the worst bingo that upset me more than any other happened right here on CF when a member insisted - several times, in fact - that it was "sad.... VERY SAD!!" for me to not want children. I doubt I'll ever forget that.

 

[bluebug83]

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• Well we're officially "undecided". My husband wants kids, but we won't have them if I decide I really am not cut out to be a mother. I'm on the fence. But we both agree that we're really happy not having kids now because we have lots of quality time to spend together, can travel and be spontaneous, etc.

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• I've been hesitant to have kids from the time I was young, though the reason has changed (from the pain/discomfort of pregnancy to not trusting myself to raise a kid properly).

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• Honestly, I haven't been that public with my thoughts (plus I'm undecided) so I don't really get bingoes. But I once had a friend, who had recently had a baby, say "Well you don't want to regret not having kids later in life!".

Do you like kids in general?

• Small children, no - I think they're boring since they can't talk about intellectual stuff, and I can only feign intrest in hearing them recite the alphabet so many times. Once they reach about 10 or so, they start developing interests and get a lot more fun. I'd probably be much more willing to have kids if once I gave birth the kid was automatically 10

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• Nope, but my husband and I have started helping with the youth group at our church.

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• Not having a super fast-paced life.

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• My mom is really the only one I've told that I'm thinking about not having kids; she said she'd be disappointed (I'm an only so I'm the only chance at grandkids), but believes it's really up to me and my husband. In-laws, church, and friends...I really don't know.

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• I'm the third member of the "freak club". Only one of my friends has started having kids, but I'm sure more will follow in the near future. I don't have any IRL friends that intend to remain childfree indefinitely

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• I'm not good at snappy comebacks, so I guess shrug and say "well to each his own" (or something like that).

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• Grew up in a Christian family, made my faith "my own" sometime in middle school (12 years old or so?).

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yup!

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• I hate the terms "conservative" or "liberal". It implies that you choose what you want to believe and make everything fit that mold, rather than believe what you really find to be truth (even if it is uncomfortable). For me, all I see is following God and not following God; I think people of both camps can fit into both molds. I guess I probably more line up with theological beliefs in the "conservative" camp, but I definitely see the points of and agree with some things that are "liberal".

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• We're both software engineers, but we work at different companies which serve different markets (and that's a good thing!)

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• Not really. My husband loves having a job and wants to do well at it and be the "provider" of our family, but doesn't care to climb a corporate ladder. I enjoy what I do for the time being, but at some point in my life I want out of the office culture.

What are your goals for the future?

• Travel, get deeper involved in Christian ministry or volunteer work, eventually quit my office job and get one that is more flexible and personally satisfying.

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• Almost 2 years.
  

How did you meet your spouse?

• School...we had the same major.

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• See my response in this thread on MM (post #3)...it sums it up. http://www.christianforums.com/t4947120-why-did-you-[open].html

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Take the time to get to know each other and enjoy the things you get to do before having kids (a lady from church actually gave us this advice this morning). Learn to compromise and communicate well. When you have problems in marriage, realize the only thing you have 100% control over is how you respond...so do your best to respond the best you can.

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• I'm not an avid reader, but I recently read The Chronicles of Narnia and got into the Harry Potter series. I like kids' fiction, since it's more at my level
  

What are your passions in life?

• Trying to serve God with everything my life, and trying to be a good wife to my husband. I also really like flying, and have toyed with the idea of becoming a pilot. It may be a worldy interest, but I've always been suspicious that God may have plans to use it in my life someday.

What are your hobbies?

• One big one is thinking about theological/philosophical stuff. Aside from that, I really like doing any kind of thing that is creative...sewing, cooking, building stuff, painting a mural in our game room, cross-stitch, writing computer programs...you name it!
  

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• My husband is a big extravert and I'm a big introvert. Aside from that, he definitely has his "shy" moments (around people he really doesn't know well and click with) and I can be very outgoing in a small gathering of people I know well. It's a good mix.
  

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• Not at all. I really don't fit the stereotype of a female of my demographic. First the whole not being huge on kids, and I tend to like to immerse myself in my own little world (thinking or doing creative stuff) more than I like socializing with others. Plus I don't really understand the whole "girlfriends" sort of thing, as my husband's been a closer friend to me than any girl I've ever been friends with.
  

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• Not yet, but someday we're going to get a dog. I love dogs. I view dogs as part of the family, but not quite at the same level as a human kid would be.
  

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• Don't really have a favorite movie. As far as TV goes...I used to love Nick at Nite, so I Love Lucy was my favorite show for awhile. I've also been watching The Simpsons since it first came out, and we also love Futurama. Recently, my husband and I have been getting into Smallville.
  

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• Been to something like 19 US states (including Hawaii) and brief outings in Canada. Other than that, I went to Europe on a trip back in high school...we saw Italy, Austria, and had a day trip in Amsterdam. There are a ton of more places I'd like to go: Alaska (going there next month!), Australia/New Zealand, back to Europe to see some different countries, Egypt to see the pyramids, and the Great Wall of China. I also think it might be neat to see Antarctica, just because so few people have been there.
  

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• This one. I love fellowship with other Christians who don't want kids, since I'm seriously considering going that route (and don't know any childfrees in real life).
  

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• I think I'm pretty good at seeing things from the perspective of others. I also love the fact that I have a very strong left brain (thinking, logic, etc) and right brain (creativity).
  

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• Things that would help me fit in with others and make friends more easily...I'd like to be more outgoing, have interests that line up with others my age, and I'd also like to be better with kids.
  

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Anything not terribly exotic! I'm a picky eater.
  

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• Probably the day I got baptized (my denomination does believer baptism of older people). I remember that day feeling as significant as my wedding did.
  

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• I think this survey has made me write enough
  

 

[bluebug83]

Conservative as far as believing the Bible and how it says we should be living our lives. Politically I am very much in the middle, maybe leaning a bit toward the liberal end, because I think politics have nothing to do with Christianity.

Yay, I'm not the only one who thinks this!

 

[Rhododendron]

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• We're leading towards "no", me more than him actually. But we're both unsure. It's not looking good though. We don't have the patience, the money, and the actual want for them. The desire just isn't there. Plus, I'm afraid to death of a future with kids. Another broken home...

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• When I was very young and someone would introduce a baby to us, all the other children my age would go "AWWWW" and I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. I never liked kids until a few years ago.

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• I guess just weird looks and "well, you don't want to be old when they're still young." Yeah... thanks for telling me what I want LOL... I guess everyone else knows what's best for me... (after we tell them we don't want any, or at least, if we do, it's not even remotely soon)

Do you like kids in general?

• Most of the time. I worked in childcare for a few years, and plan on doing it again soon. Most kids are really enjoyable to be around, but not all LOL.

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• No, I haven't been to church in ages actually.

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• EVERYTHING! I can't think of one good thing with having them right now.

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• Well, my side of the family is thrilled. They don't want me getting pregnant until I'm a career driven successful business woman. (which isn't going to happen LOL) My inlaws on the other hand bug us all the time ... and so does everyone else.... I mean, EVERYONE else.

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• Nope, none whatsoever. We have friends who want to wait, but they definately want them later.

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• Friendly, with the real explanation, but in a nice tone. It's really hard to do though!

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• Since I was about 17.

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yes, he's been one all his life.

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• My views are pretty conservative. I do joke around like a liberal though. It's complicated, but it works for me

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I am currently a stay at home wife. My husband is an auto detailer. When we move into our house, I will go back into childcare. I'm going to run the daycare from our home. (I was doing this with my MIL before her and my FIL moved away in their house. Now we're living in an appartment and can't look after 6 children in such a small space)

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• Not at all. We both want to be rockstars LOL! We're having a lot of trouble staying focused on jobs, as with no education, nothing is remotely enjoyable, and not many musicians can afford to do that full time without sacrificing everything they own, and sometimes not eating... (except for me with childcare. I find joy in that job ) Our dream is to be full time musicians.

What are your goals for the future?

• We're both pretty lost. What do you do with the gift of music? It's not that easy to get out there... I think the artsy have the hardest time IMO. Unless you're famous, you are then poor. We can't be poor, so we will probably forever be in and out of crappy jobs. If you think graduating from university and trying to find a respectable job is hard, try being a musician! Talk about the impossible route in life!

Marriage:

How long have you been married?
It'll be 3 years this July.
How did you meet your spouse?

• To make a very long story short, through our mutual best friend.

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• Oh lots of things, but I'll just name the one that comes to my head first, and that would be that he's trustworthy.

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• No clue!

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• I like to read songs.

What are your passions in life?

• Singing, song writing, acting, dancing. Learning new things.

What are your hobbies?

• I guess coming on CF LOL

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• I used to be. Moving to the other side of the country has really changed my social life. I don't really have one anymore LOL! No, my husband isn't all that social.

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• I'm used to it, but this community is VERY family oriented. As much of an outcast as I actually am, at the end of the day, what matters is family. Not the millions of bingos I get from everyone all the time LOL! (as annoying as they are!!! )

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• We have one cat. No, he's not our kid. He's part of the family, but I don't consider him my kid, I consider him my cat LOL!

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• Comedies, comedies and more comedies. Too many to name!

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• Nowhere. Never had an actual vacation in my life! We'll change that someday though

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• A tie between Young Adults and Women's. The marriage forum is really depressing sometimes!

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• I have come to terms with my body, and have fully excepted it and am comfortable in my own skin. (I used to be very insecure about my body and constantly worrying about it and what other people thought about it.) Now I've realized that God has made me the way I am. I can't help the way I look. I am free from worrying about my outer appearance, and can now fully consentrate on my inner self.

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• I am so judgemental. It's a disease. I can't get rid of the bloody way of thinking.

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Oh all kinds! I guess I could really go for a McDonald's burger right now! LOL!

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• All the days that are good ones. I don't really have a favourite. I have been trully blessed in many ways.

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• I can't think of anything else, but I'll add it in if I think of something

 

[RunnerGirl]

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• The only reason I don't want kids is because my husband doesn't want them. If I was married to a man who wanted kids, I'd be pregnant by now.

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• Since I was about 10 years old, I've wanted three kids and I had names picked out. When I was older I started to think I wanted to adopt rather than have my own... but I always wanted kids one way or another.

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• "Don't worry, you'll change your mind." (Um, well, I wasn't "worried", and I'm not going to change my mind, so, uh, thanks...)

Do you like kids in general?

• Sure.

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• No, unfortunately our schedule right now doesn't even have room for church. It's terrible...

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• TRAVEL! We take weekend trips all the time, just pick up and go, and have several "big" trips planned.

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• Fortunately, my family is very accepting. My own mother (bless her heart) told me she never wanted to have kids, but did because of how badly my dad wanted them (but of course, she wouldn't change a thing now that she's had us! )

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• Not'a'one. Nope. And that's definitely part of my struggle.

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• I get defensive pretty quick. Most people who bingo me don't know my situation, so they don't realize I actually would want kids if my husband wanted them. People jump to conclusions so quickly without the facts, it makes me mad.

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• I grew up in a Christian household, wandered far and wide during college, and was baptised and what I consider born again when I was 24.

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yep.

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• I believe firmly in the Bible, but actually have a hard time with a lot of the organized religions. I prefer meeting with small groups of other believers to fellowship.

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I have a full-time marketing job but am in the process of finishing my MA in psychology, so I am also doing a part-time clinical counseling internship. My hubby is a CPA.

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• Yah, I think we're fairly ambitious. We both want to run our own practices/firms which is a pretty big undertaking, so I guess we're pretty dedicated to it.

What are your goals for the future?

• Once I finish my hours and am licensed I want to open a private couples/individual therapy practice. I

Marriage:

How long have you been married?
3 years.

How did you meet your spouse?

• Blind date!

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• His perserverance.

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. And find a way to laugh at yourself and with each other.

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• Love to read.

What are your passions in life?

• Writing, reading, people watching, traveling, hanging out with hubby, napping.

What are your hobbies?

• Um, see above "passions"

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• Very social. I don't have much time for it now, but I have a circle of close girlfriends I see a lot.

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• Eh, yah, I guess in some ways. San Francisco is very diverse so you can pretty much always find some niche you fit into here!

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• A bird. He's a hoot. I'm dying to get a puppy but we're not home enough right now to handle that.

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• I rarely get to watch tv, but I like Amazing Race, Top Chef, and Antiques Roadshow.

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• 46 US States! 4 to go! Also Canada and Mexico. East Africa and Greece are next on our list.

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• This one. I wish I had more time to pop on... I can't really keep up!

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• My sense of humor. And my naturally red hair.

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• I am most "difficult" with the ones I love the most.

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• I'm not picky AT ALL.

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• That's a tough one. I dont know ... ??? A few months ago my hubby and I took this amazing drive to an awesome beach and walked the length of it for hours, just talking. It was better than our wedding day... less pressure.

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• Not really. Great idea for a thread! I enjoy getting to "know" you all!!

 

[HeyHomie]

Childfree:

Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• We can't have them, and we're happy without them.

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• I hadn't given it a moment's thought until I found out we couldn't have them.

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• A Christian "teacher" by the name of Albert Mohler bingos me by his very existence. He preaches that deliberate childlessness is "Moral Rebellion Against God."

Do you like kids in general?

• Yes. There are a few that I can do without.

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• Yes. I'm getting geared up for camp season right now!

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• Travel, travel, and more travel.

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• My family finally got used to the idea, and now they're pretty accepting. It's never discussed at church - I guess people feel that it's impolite to talk about it. Thank God for Midwestern reticence!

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• No, although my best friend is still single (but he thinks he'll have kids if he gets married).

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• It rarely comes up IRL, but when it does, I generally try to explain myself and let it go. If the bingo-er persists, I change the subject.

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• Almost 21 years.

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yes.

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• Conservative.

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I'm a social worker. I work in an intermediate care facility for developmentally-disabled adult men. My wife is a pre-school teacher.

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• I'm ambitious, but not as regards my career. I want to make scads of money by publishing (I've got a couple of books in the pipe), and by my art (I'm trying to become a mosaicist).

What are your goals for the future?

• To buy a house, to go to Disneyworld again, to retire wealthy (or at least to have enough money to get out of the Midwest).

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• 10 years on April 27th!

How did you meet your spouse?

• In college. We hung out with the same crowd.

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• She can sing beautifully.

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• Don't have kids simply because it's "what people do when they get married." Ask yourself whether you really want to make an 18-year commitment.

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• I prefer to read nonfiction. I like books about trivia and minutiae, and with the possible exception of Cecil Adams, I doubt any of you have ever heard of the authors I like. As regards fiction - I'm a Harry Potter junkie!

What are your passions in life?

• Chicago Cubs baseball, children's ministry, jazz music.

What are your hobbies?

• None, really, although one of these days I'm going to finish my mosaic, sell it for a few thousand, realize how fun it is, and make a bunch more. Mostly I just watch TV and surf the net.

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• We both hang out with our core groups of friends, but neither of us like to "socialize" in the strictest sense.

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• I feel like it's beneath me, and I really belong in Florida, but for better or for worse this town is my home, so I make the best of it.

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• Two cats: Ozzie and Lenny.

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• Movies: Millions, the Star Wars movies, the Lord of the Rings movies, just about any horror movie.
• TV Shows: Lost, Prison Break, Heroes, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, The Class, American Idol, Ugly Betty, Jericho, Survivor, Amazing Race, Family Guy.

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• I've been to Europe, the Caribbean, and Japan, all before I married Mrs. Homie. Since Mrs. Homie and I have been married, we've been to northern California, Cedar Point and Disneyworld .

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• The Non-denominational congregation forum.

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• I have a very high IQ (upper 130's).

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• I'm grossly overweight.

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• Sushi.

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• The very first time Mrs. Homie and I went to the Magic Kingdom at Disneyworld together.

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• When I finish my books, I'm going to self-publish them on Iuniverse.com. I probably won't be able to link to my books on CF, but I trust that you will all PM me for the information, then buy the books, then tell your friends, and then help me to become a very wealthy man by word of mouth.

 

[Rebekka]

Childfree:


Why don’t you and your spouse want kids?

• I was bullied as a child/teenager/adult by kids and am still traumatized, so I see kids as bullies and therefore do not like kids in general. Husband doesn't want kids because he doesn't have paternal feelings towards them - which is the case with me too, but the dislike is my major reason for being childfree. Oh, and I can't stand noise, I have a hearing problem.

Did you always know you didn’t want kids?

• Yes and no. I've never liked kids, but as a teenager and in my early twenties I thought I would have a husband and kids one day - it's the normal thing to do. Then I gave up the idea of marriage so also the idea of kids, and then I finally met my husband. To my surprise he didn't want kids, and then I realised I had never really wanted them either - in fact, I'm more structurally childfree than he is.

What is the worst bingo you’ve ever received?

• Most christians and atheists I've met still think not wanting children is selfish. That's the most common bad bingo ("innocent" bingos are "it's different when it's your own" or "you'll change your mind" - I don't mind these as much as the selfish one). Christians, catholics in particular, sometimes think/say you're a bad christian for not wanting children - contraception and not wanting children are seen as "intrinsically evil" in my denomination. That hurts a lot, too.

Do you like kids in general?

• No, I dislike kids in general until proven not guilty. I am so traumatized by the bullying that I see kids as bullies until they prove themselves to be nice and friendly - which is rarely the case, but I had a good experience in Rome last week with 29 teenagers (16/17). So there are exceptions.

Are you involved in children’s ministry?

• No, but I will try to get a teaching degree for high school age after finishing my masters degree.

What is your favourite thing about not having kids?

• Not having children around me. No bullying. No noise. Having intelligent conversations. The list is endless.

How accepting are your family, friends and church of your “childfree” life?

• Church couldn't be less accepting, I'm catholic, being childfree is "intrinsically evil" in all circumstances. My parents are accepting, my parents-in-law are either accepting or in denial, and the rest of our family doesn't know. Some of our friends are accepting, others don't understand, some don't know.

Do you have any childfree friends IRL?

• Not anymore - I had two childfree friends (before I was childfree myself actually, I was single at the time) but we have drifted apart.

When you are bingo’d or hear resistance to being childfree, how do you generally respond?

• It depends. I sigh and say nothing, or I walk away, or I defend myself. In real life I avoid bingos by not bringing it up. We're still in the closet in our church and with our catholic friends, and the extended family and our siblings. If people ask me if I want kids, I simply say I don't want them and leave it at that. If they go on, it might turn into a long and heated discussion - but usually I avoid these discussions if possible.

Faith:

How long have you been a Christian?

• I'm a cradle catholic, baptized as a baby, but I lost my faith in my late teens and found it again, deeper than it has ever been, in my mid/late twenties. So I guess I've been a Christian for about six years now.

Is your spouse a Christian?

• Yes, we're both cradle Catholics, and his faith has never left him unlike mine.

Do you consider yourself to be a conservative or liberal Christian? (or if “other”, please explain further if you like)

• I'm liberal when it comes to birth control (the catholic church condemns all artificial birth control and childfreedom) and feminist issues. I don't know about other things - I know I am conservative in nature (=hating changes), but I don't know if I'm liberal or conservative in my actions except for the two things I just mentioned. It doesn't mean anything to me. I get along with all sorts of people as long as they are genuine and have good principles.

Career:

What is your career? What is your spouse’s career?
(If you’re SAH share what do, and if you’re a student, share your courses).

• I'm a student of Dutch modern literature at the moment, finishing my masters degree. And I'm a SAHW at the same time, but plan to go into teaching - not fulltime as I'm not that career-driven, I'm not ambitious. I used to work in a bookstore before I took up my studies again. Husband has a PhD in classics (Latin & Greek) and Roman law, and teaches classics at a lyceum (high school age) and Latin at university.

Are you and/or your spouse career oriented/ambitious?

• No, we're both not ambitious at all but strive to excel in what we do - for our own peace of mind/integrity, not for worldly/financial praise/rewards/etc. We try to do only things we believe in, that we see as morally right. Teaching is something we both believe in.

What are your goals for the future?

• To finish my masters degree and get into teaching, and to remain happily married and in good health (preferably better health than now - husband is going through a rough time - but I firmly believe "in sickness and in health", until death) - I want to grow old together. Oh, and some 4-legged additions (more cats, and a large dog) would be very nice. And I want to volunteer in animal welfare, perhaps at an animal shelter.

Marriage:

How long have you been married?

• Almost three years now.

How did you meet your spouse?

• We met at a wedding party of a mutual friend. He asked me out two days later. A couple of days after our first date we agreed to marry each other. We got married exactly one year after our first meeting.

What do you most admire about your spouse?

• Everything. His integrity, his honesty, his faith, his intelligence, his great sense of humour, his morals, his opinions, the fact that we are so similar, his kindness and tenderness, his pride, his cheerfulness, his good looks, his height, his self esteem (mine is low), etc. etc. etc.

What marriage advice would you offer to new couples?

• I can't offer advice to people I don't know, all couples are different. We did things differently than most people we know, I'm glad we didn't take random advice. Well - follow your heart, and of course: WWJD? Oh, and be patient and adapt.

Misc.:

Do you like to read? If so, who are your favourite authors?

• I'm a complete bibliophile! We both are. We own more than 11,000 books. I mostly read literary fiction, but also like theology and cookbooks and wine books. Some of my favourite literary authors: Vladimir Nabokov, Tolstoy, Gontcharov, J.D. Salinger, Dickens, Jane Austen, and the Dutch authors Multatuli, Nescio, Cees Nooteboom, A.F.Th. van der Heijden.

What are your passions in life?

• my husband, my cats and all other animals, reading, cooking, wine, opera, art.

What are your hobbies?

• my passions (see above).

Are you a social person? Is your spouse?

• I'm an introvert and don't like groups, especially peer groups (because of the bullying but also because I'm a private person), my husband is an extravert and can be extremely social, but he prefers very small groups and loves to be with only me most of all.

Do you feel you fit in with your community? Why or why not?

• No, I am too different from most people to fit in. I don't mind anymore, though, and being married makes me more confident. And I try to be a good citizen and help people whenever I can.

Do you have pets? If so, what kind, and are they your “kids”?

• Yes they are our kids! Three cats (my heart is big enough for two more, AND a dog, AND chickens, AND donkeys, AND bunnies, etc.) - one calico living with my parents (see avatar), 10 years old, and two grey tabby sisters (4 years old next month) living with husband and me. I love them to bits.

What are your favourite movies and TV shows?

• I don't watch tv really, but I like Blackadder and Monty Python and Fawlty Towers, and some of my favourite films are Amadeus, Mary Poppins, Fanny & Alexander (and all other Ingmar Bergman films), LOTR, Some like it hot.

Where have you travelled in the world? Where would you like to travel to?

• Husband and I just came home from a school trip to Rome, which was fabulous. We love Italy and its artistic treasures (not to mention the food and wine) so that's where we usually go. We don't have money to travel often, but about once every two years we go to Italy. We've been to Naples, Florence and Rome now. We plan to go to Venice. I'd love to see England (especially the countryside), and Rome again. But if none of this happened I wouldn't be devastated - I like being at home.

What is your favourite or most visited forum on CF?

• This one is my favourite. I visit the women's forum, the others in MM, and OBOB (catholic) too.

What is your favourite thing about yourself?

• I'm a good listener and I'm rational, and I love animals.

What would you most like to change about yourself?

• I could be more persevering, more assertive, more optimistic, more ambitious, more confident, oh and physically fitter.

What kind of food/restaurant do you like?

• I am a pretty good cook and I love my own cooking. I love Italian food, French, Indonesian, Thai, Chinese, Lebanese/Moroccan, Turkish, Belgian, German, etc. We don't eat out much but when we do I prefer fancy restaurants with nice wines.

What was the best day of your life (so far)?

• The first/only date with my husband, when we realised we were each other's soulmate and that we would spend the rest of our lives together, and our wedding day nearly a year later.

Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself?

• No, but feel free to ask questions.

That was fun!!!!

 

[Rebekka]

Good to see I'm not the only fan of children's literature! And I'm a huge Harry Potter fan!