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----- How did you heal? I'm still in the situation so it seems like every time I try to heal I just get another wound or the old wounds open back up again. I'm lost on what to do, I know I need therapy but I'm not allowed to go. Also thank you so much for responding.

Sorry, just ignore this comment. I didn't mean to post it, I meant to reply but I don't know how to delete this.

I don't understand why God stays distant from me. I thought it was because I was struggling with sexual sin at the time (I was working on overcoming it) but he still won't come close. When I did get clean of all the sin in my life I grew spiritually and God uses me a lot to help other people...