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Today I've had a terrible day because I unleashed 5 years of bottled up anger I've had against God and essentially called Him a useless shepherd that doesn't care for His flock, that I hated Him and tested Him to kill me right on the spot or that I otherwise would buy a bottle of sleeping pills...

Yes, i'm trying the best i can. The problem is that it's An internal problem. Not external. I'm already on medication, and the situation has certainly improved over the years.

Suffering from OCD, it feels like I cannot get out of it. It feels like a prison. A foretaste of hell sometimes. Hopelessness, grief, no joy, trapped forever in a diseased cycle of thinking until you die. I try to suppress the anxiety by indulging in media, overeating and shopping because...

Thank you caring. I had a really bad day when I wrote this post. It's going somewhat better now.

I'm so tired of all the trials that come in this life. Both internal as external. I just want to be happy and content. What's even the point of maturing in Christ if we will never attain perfection in this life. And if perfection is only for the next life, then what's the point of suffering for...

Thank you very much. Yes, you are absolutely right. The righteous shall live by faith, not by what he feels. But I'm just very anxious about the worst case scenario, being self-deceived. I do believe 100% that Jesus is who He says He is and that He's done what He says He's done despite what I feel.

I cannot get the assurance that I'm saved. At least not longer for a few days at a time before feeling completely lost again. I think that I have spent hundreds (thousands maybe?) of hours researching the internet, the bible, theology books to look for the assurance that I'm indeed born again...

Yes, but do you always keep all the commandments Jesus taught us (100% of the time). If not, you will also not spend eternity with God despite your profession in Christ, just like every other Christian still living on earth. I know you try to fight the lukewarmness in the church but you're...

I know you're trying to be helpful. But this is literally the worst kind of advice you can give to someone suffering from OCD. Also no reference to scripture to confirm your statement like Job405 already mentioned.

I have discovered that reading passages from the bible and theology books for reassurance has become a compulsion. I have the urge to ruminate about one topic (mainly the assurance of one's salvation) all day long. Some days I can feel at peace because there are no relenting thoughts, attitudes...

Sorry to hear that, but I'm glad that you're feeling better at the moment. God truly is our Rock.

Thanks for the lovely reply Susie.

Does anyone else wish sometimes that they were never born? Or that God hadn't created mankind at all? I've been struggling with OCD and anxiety for most of my life and I can only seem to have a decent quality of life when I'm on medication. I know Christ for 2 years now, but I haven't...

No, in the way that we are heading towards a society in which it will be impossible to participate unless you have taken a rushed vaccine for a virus with a survival rate that is well over 99%. People are not getting fired because they have not been vaccinated for Measles, Polio or even the...

No, I'm not a Preterist. In the post where I said that John got the full revelation of the events of the end times while the OT prophets only got to see a part of it, I did not mean to imply that the prophecies from the book of Revelation had already been fulfilled. Also there are various...

I don't think that we're going to agree on this topic. I just wanted to share what I was thinking. It's fine that you have Preterist beliefs about the end time, but I'll stick with my Futurist beliefs.

The reason why you don't find the mark of the Beast in the Old testament is because this knowledge was rolled up and sealed until the time of the end, Daniel 12:9. John got the full revelation of which the OT prophets only saw a part.

We are definitely not living on the new heavens and new earth at this moment. How do you explain this verse: Revelation 21:1-4 (NIV) Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the...

I've been thinking about this the past week, but is it possible that the vaccine is a shadow of the mark of the Beast that is come during the tribulation? Note that I'm not saying that the vaccine IS the mark, but only a shadow of the real thing that is to come. In the same way that certain...

I don't smoke, drink alcohol or use recreational drugs. I was literally born to become like this. I do use prescription medication but I would go completely insane eventually without them.