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i cant cope with anything nor do i have any outlets for my misery. everyday i wake up and it starts like this. ill maybe have a dream and it will make me sad for the day because it felt so nice compared to the repetiveness of my daily life. id kill for some fun to get out and walk tirelessly...

i had a thought. i believe time goes fast in hell, and one reason why i think that is people dont get longterm memory in hell, heaven too maybe. so a day will go by and you cant remember the next day so you dont even remember when you died,. so eternity feels like one day. seems right, right...

ive talked to my mom, my dad, a physician.. my mom.. and my psychiatrist as i have no family doctor. my bones are knocked or idk they're so slanted from crouching for so long(3years) that ive became an armidillo.. anyway when i sit down its always uncomfort, one of the main reasons i dropped out...

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