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At times anxiety is out of control. I want it to all be over.

completely totally hopeless. all i think about is ending it.

haven't been on this forum for a long time. feeling very sad. still think it's hopeless.

feeling as though i'm hopeless. very depressed. don't see any way out.

feeling like there's no hope for a better future.

don't even want to try, abandoned all hope.

still i would say that i'm the worst in 25 years or so. i feel as though there's no future except drug after drug after drug and continued suffering. this illness has cost me everything. want everything in my mind to go black forever. deep sleep where i don't wake up.

a priest blessed me and i felt calm for a few hours afterwards. if only it would remain that way. god please help me. i'm so close to the bottom. don't know if i can pull myself out of this one. i'm getting older and see less hope. the mood stabilizer has been doubled and a very small amount...

anxiety ridden, no hope for a good future.

I want a doctor to put me to sleep forever. That is what I really want.

trapped in a black hole of this bipolar depression. it's swallowing me up. everything is turning to black. all joy has left me. fear it will never end. this leaves me with few options.

I will be your friend. I am suffering horribly right now. I want to die. But I need friends.

sleeping is more and more difficult. pacing back and forth cant stop the anxiety and bad thoughts want to die. worst i've been possibly since the illness first hit me 25 years ago

i'm spiraling downward even more. lately my evenings have been very bad, but prior to a week ago they were somewhat okay. i'm in big trouble. thoughts of ending it forever persist in my mind.

I'm the same way. sometimes i hold back just how severe it is for fear that she will take me away. i always take my dog with me and they would obviously confiscate him and put him in a shelter or something. going to sit in the empty church now and wait 2 hours for the 7pm mass. spent the day...

spent 90 minutes making out my will on wills4free.com --now i need to get 2 witnesses to sign it. something i felt i had to do. it's a feeling i will never escape this hole combined with no desire to fight all my problems any longer. will make half-hearted attempt to get my doctor to fast...

i care about you tom.

i was on it and it doesnt work so well even my doctor told me so.

i've gotten worse the past couple weeks. i just want to die, but don't know a 100% foolproof method. plus i still need to make out my will and take care of a few things. my god, what has happened to me?

feeling almost completely defeated. need my sister to take my calls but she's at the bottom also and refuses to talk to anyone. this depression is swallowing me up. think i need ECT. but no one to shuttle me back and forth or watch my dog. has anyone had ECT? should i be afraid of it?