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I prayed yesterday about the pain I'm living in, not physical but psychologically and begged to feel alive again. Constanly feeling attacked by mind, burning arrows in the soul. Condemnation and judgement was what my life have been filled about for decades. Being the worst person, alone in the...

Haven't been here for a year or two. Just wanted to make a post to see if I'll get any reasonable advice about my life-situation. If not, then I probably won't bother to log in again, since the last time I was here looking for help, I had people saying I was not a Christian at all, and the last...

Since the last time I logged in here about 6 months ago, I've been at rehab, been homeless, getting into drugs again, started using opiates and injecting amphetamine, been almost 2 months at a psychiatric hospital, one of the times because of a suicide attempt, diagnosed with transsexualism...

I woke up this morning from a song I was singing in my dream. It was a kind of silly song, with an annoying tune to it, and I sang "Who would want a refill if it stinks?" And I've been thinking about this the whole day. I've been thinking it might be some kind of sign that my soul is rotten and...

I used to practice buddhism, study the words of Buddha and meditate every day before I started to believe in God and Jesus, and I still do meditate sometimes, it calms me down and is something to do while for example sitting on a bus, instead of just glaring out the window. But I'm not sure if...

When someone is having a meal, someone else is starving to death. When someone is lonely, someone else is in love. When someone cries, someone else laughs. When someone is young and healthy, someone else is rotting away in sickness. When ... and so on. And who cares about all of it? Everyone is...

I've wished I had some friends, and now I had visit from a guy that I had lots in common with with hobbies and interests. But he was like he wanted to hang out all the time, cause he had few friends too, but after a while I started to feel really tense by having him around. A person that seemed...

I often get a feeling like everyone really dislikes me and are thinking that I'm totally stupid and weird, and I'm thinking that everyone talks behind my back when I'm not there about how strange I am. And sometimes I can notice total strangers that seem to be filled with disgust when looking at...

I was thinking loneliness is often a part of depression, that friends leave because they maybe never were friends or just can't handle a person that is down all the time, and also because many people with depression tend to isolate and become introvert when suffering from deep depressions. So I...

Got a letter today that I just opened and it was to be denied access to psychologist/psychiatrist. And just weeks ago a psychiatric nurse said that I had been offered help from them (after waiting 2 years for it), all I needed was a formal letter from a doctor, that I fixed for them. And now...

I really have no friends anymore that I hang out with regularly. And I have no girls that want me. And those that show interest in me, I kind of withdraw on my own, because I feel I'm not good enough. Specially when it comes to Christian girls, I can't even imagine having one anymore, because I...

I do so many wrong things that I almost don't care anymore, because I can't see myself from stopping. Not even sure if I want to stop. Actually a lot of things that I would consider sin is something that I'd like doing. I just can't imagine ever getting a "normal Christian life", so I have...

I was drunk yesterday and had mixed in a few Valium, and with a friend, he was getting new shoes and I also wanted new shoes, because I only have winter shoes and can't afford any other. So i noticed there were no alarm system attached to the merchandise and no camera in my direction. Then I...

Anyone with chronic depression sometimes get the impression that others feel like that about you, that you only complain, are pessimistic, having self-pity etc. ?

For example a woman feels she is a man, but still is heterosexual and not a transvestite, but just feels her body is wrong and feels it would be more natural to have a male body. And the same if a man have the same problem. Is it wrong somehow, and does the person have to follow the traditional...