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  1. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    Things have been sort of hectic lately. But what else is new right? I am still living at my mothers because of the turn of events that have taken place with my niece. I'm scared to leave because things can get violent and hostile in the area because of my nieces mother. We have my niece for the...
  2. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    Sweet sweet freedom. I'm finally 18!
  3. secretshadows618

    How long since you last self injured? (3)

    I messed up... but I'm on day 9 now. I was two months away from making it a year. I've got hope though.
  4. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    A lot in me has changed since I went to camp. Let me first start by saying, the 5 girls (the 6th one ended up bailing) that I took to camp all got saved. I had the honor of being the one to guide my cousin to Christ. I have never cried tears of joy till then. 2 of those girls were baptised...
  5. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    So I have some things I need to process... I said before that some things happened with Heathe that I feel like I should regret but I don't. I let my emotions get ahead of my logic. Long story short, I felt that Heathe had given me so much, I wanted to give him something just as valueable in...
  6. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    Things have been beyond intense. I hit a breaking point and something in me just snapped. I went numb again. Its still been almost 10 months since I've hurt myself but I've been tempted in soooo many ways to go back to day zero. In 32 days I turn 18 and life will be easier in some ways and...
  7. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    I don't really have time to say much. I've reached a new breaking point that I didn't know existed. I'm being hit from all sides with all sorts of stuff and I'm just losing control. Everytime I start to gain control of my life everything spirals out of control. I'm just asking for some serious...
  8. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    Hey, I'm coming on here with a heavy heart today. I'm stressed to the max times 10. It's pretty much world war three with my family. We finally got into the huge custody battle over my niece that has been coming on for a long time. I'm truly scared. I haven't been so scared in a long time...
  9. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    Thank you. I can see now that I've come far. I took some time to read more of my past posts and also read more in the book that I've written in to my best friend. I have come far but I couldn't have done it alone. I'm not strong enough for that. I have set some goals but I'll talk about that...
  10. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    Hey everyone! Its been forever and a day since I've posted but it was a bit of a pain to type with my wrist in a cast. Sadly, I've still been having issues with it but the bone has healed so I'm just in a velcro brace now :) Criada - Thank you for the hug and the encouragment. I didn't...
  11. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    My head is spinning... I don't know where to start... Finally, I voiced my past out loud. Finally I faced some major demons and let go of some major baggage. My best friend and I were up late and it came up. I was shaking and crying and did get physically ill. It was awful but I did it. That...
  12. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    You're right John. Thanks for reminding me :) Thank you for your kind words. I realize that I have changed quite a bit not just in the last couple of months but in the last year too. I know God is working in me. If he wasn't, I wouldn't still be here. I wouldn't have lasted these 189 days. I...
  13. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    My problem is, I can't remember what good work He started.
  14. secretshadows618

    Opening up...I'm ready to tell.(Trigger Warning, detailed)

    He didn't give you the strength to get her off because the strength to not only get over this but to use it to help other people in this situation is far more valuable. He loves you and is proud of you for your courage, as am I. Sarah
  15. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    Day 187. Last night I almost started back at zero. :sigh: Yesterday I was looking for a way to pass the time till my best friend got out of school, so I decided to drive to my old hometown which I will call P for the sake of my privacy and safety. The town I live in now I'll call M. I lived in...
  16. secretshadows618

    How long since you last self injured? (3)

    This is day 185. My goal is to hit day 200 (Feb. 17) Its still hard for me though... I think about it everyday and it doesn't help that I have so many awful scars. Seeing them just reminds me of everything. I'm wishing this could all just be easier. I was thinking the longer I went without it...
  17. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    Hey, I guess its taken me a bit longer to get back here than I expected. Everytime I seemed to find the time to jump on here, something would pull me away. I've been a lot happier lately but thats also because any chance I get I crash at my best friend Halles house. (my future home) Some nights...
  18. secretshadows618

    I'm finally facing it...

    I've been gone for a while but things have been a bit hectic. I'm back now though. I wish I could jump on here and say how happy I am and how great things are going but sadly I can't. I do have a lot to be happy about though. When I was last on here I was throwing a major pity party. My grandpa...