Search results

I sent you a private message about this. Do not panic but take this seriously. It is rather amazing that your son confided in you about this. That is a very, very good sign. He knows that his sexual interest is wrong and he clearly wants to be rid of it. That is a great place to start. I...

This is good news -- that the boy is getting relief. Moms and women would not be expected to know this, but if the boy is uncircumcised, he should not pull the foreskin all the way back at this age -- just enough to clean around the glans. He should not tear the frenulum membrane. Also, some...

Dear Happy Mom: Welcome to the world of raising Tom Sawyer. Boys are the most uncivilized creatures on the planet. I'm so glad you mentioned dad --he's got to play the main role here in leading his son to grow into manhood. I would suggest a direct fatherly approach -- and quick. You...

Vilnius: Another good and helpful post on the subject. Thanks. I also have to assume that God had an original purpose in the rite of circumcision that is also important. It was the covenant sign for the men of Israel. They were literally 'marked men.' There is no doubt that it is no longer...

Let me offer a word from a dad of a boy that age -- and one who was once that age myself. Let the boy dream. Boys that age are constantly jumping from one fantasy to another. In older times, he would be dreaming of being a knight or an olympian. Now, he dreams of being a major league ball...

Dear Super Mog: The Bible has many, many references to parental authority and responsibility, but I think you are probably looking for James 3:1. ["Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment." NASB] Faithfully, HonorTruth

Hannah: When facing this kind of temptation, two immediate issues arise. First, once a man and a woman reach this point of sexual tension, arousal, and attraction, you really can't morally afford to cuddle, etc. The temptation to go further will be incredible--and not surprising at all...

Dear Legacy of Love--and others: I want to sound a serious caution about the whole dating scene. As Christian parents, I think we should understand that our job is to get our children safely through their adolescent years and ready them for marriage and parenthood. Dating is a dangerous...

I have noticed that most of the posting members on this thread are moms, not dads. There is something significant in this fact, and I just want to post a word of warning mixed with encouragement. I write as a father of a son going through puberty, as a former teenage boy, and as a pastor who...

Wow--the advice in Alaskamolly's post is really important. Thanks for adding a woman's thoughtful perspective to my comments. Let's pray for this couple. HonorTruth

Dedr Wounded Wife: Your husband has sinned agaisnt God and against you, and direct action is now necessary to hold him accountable for his sin. This is where a godly, Bible-preaching church is so important. He must be held accountable for his sin by godly Christian men of maturity--as well...

Dear Sarahkuving: I do not usually repond to myself, but looking over that last post I am struck by two great omissions. First, sympathy for you and your shock. Given the sheer surprise of discovering your 14-year-old son masturbating, your "what are/were you doing?" question was probably...

Dear Sarahkuving: Please receive this message in the spirit is intended. My earlier posts have attempted to lay out a biblical basis for understanding the masturbation issue, especially as related to boys going through puberty and awaiting marriage. I have to deal with this all the time...

Dear Flipper: Thanks much for the clarification. I offer the following just in the hope of being helpful, since this is an area of great concern and interest. The use of artificial insemination as a technique for assisted reproduction is, as you suggest, less morally complicated that IVF in...

Dear Flipper: You are asking a hard question, but when looking at IVF, please be aware of some significant issues from a Christian worldview perspective. First, the origin of the gametes is an issue. Assuming the cells are your eggs and your husband's sperm, this is less of an issue. Your...

Dear AngelaDawn: Congratulations on your wedding and marriage! Show God's glory in the world by your faithfulness and love for each other. Marriage demonstrates the love and glory of God before the watching world. The birth control/contraception issue is common to most couples. I would...

Just also be aware that fior the man, intensive kissing [especially "French kissing"] is deeply erotic and sexually arousing. This is crossing an erotic boundary for a couple, and it is a big deal. Once this kind of eroticism is accepted, negotiations for further boundaries is on the horizon...

Dear Dantheman: You characterize yourself as one of the few good guys left, but you aren't acting like a good guy would act--and you must know this. You are rationalizing your sexual misbehavior as acts of love to your girlfriend. This forum is for Christians only, so I will address you as a...

Here's another take on this. A good church youth ministry should help here. When I was 12, we were taken on a boys-only camping trip (dads invited if dads available). We were told about God's plan for sex and the functions of puberty--including wet dreams. All was explained, from A-Z in an...

This discussion has been helpful, I think. Nevertheless, I am concerned that this mom might over-react in response to a normal adolescent process of self-discovery and coming to terms with a newly emergent sexual drive. I stand by what I wrote in the reply earlier in this trail. So long as...