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Thanks Mitzi...I appreciate your wisdom and empathy very much. The irony is I think the fear is liable to make at least part of the fear come true if that makes sense. Sorry for shortness of reply...hugs...Rachel x

Thanks Mitzi...I wish I had your belief in the treatment...I am so afraid I'll be compounding my sin by not treating it as such. I feel so frustrated cos one little irrefutable answer from God and I could get on with my life. Thanks again...take care...Rachel

Thanks for your replies...I know there are OCD themes...this one is feeling like it's more the book, film and play!!! It just won't go away. People do feel sick with anxiety if they sin...who am I to run from that and hide behind a cop-out excuse which is what I feel I may be doing. Hi Mitzi -...

Hi and many thanks for your replies - sorry I haven't responded sooner. In answer to your question Skitsskat a fleece is a term taken from a biblical account when someone basically said if God wanted them to do something would something very specific happen to serve as a sign from God. In my...

I haven't posted on here for a long, long time so most of you probably won't remember me. I'd like to say all the non-posting has been cos I no longer get bothered by OCD but unfortunately that's not the case though I haven't been at my worst. However my main issue still intrudes into my life...

Hi Roseheart, obviously I can't diagnose but just wanted to say that what you've described certainly sounds like OCD and some of what you described I can really relate to and I have a diagnosis of OCD. The scrupulosity and worrying over small things. I can so relate to not feeling OK about...

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Hey Robert...I wish I could help you but all I can say is I can totally relate to your statement that you are terrified of God and see him as frowning down on you. I too feel this way...I hope others have more help to offer you but I just wanted you to know that I understand! I will pray for us...

Hi DruryGirl...like KayKay I haven't posted here in a while but just popped by tonight and saw your thread...OH HOW I WISH I COULD NOT RELATE! I understand all too well the guilt and how it makes you go round and round and round in your head and the hideous things it does to your emotions. Only...

Yes some kind of understanding would help...hope you get there with that! Sometimes all this anxiety and struggle and trying to work stuff out seems such an utter waste. Like my life has had so much of it wasted cos I can't overcome who and how I am. If I felt I was moving closer to God through...

Amen JohnieGuy...I reckon that whatever else God is most likley really pleased you even WANT to pray that prayer. I pray He answers it for you...take care, Rachel

Thanks JohnnieGuy and Dabro. I suppose that's what I worry about...that rather than this being a misperception or reality that it is actually the consequence of sin...ie as you said Dabro, God saying "this is what will happen if you don't do as I say". Thanks again for you replies...hopw...

Thanks Dabro...appreciate your input and glad you seem to be doing well! That risk is indeed very hard to take especially when what I fear is true about God and me often seems so likely to be the truth. Take care, Rachel

Glad you've found us...and that something has helped. I understand how afraid and exhausted this can all make you... I pray you get some relief soon. Take care, Rachel

Thanks Keryakos and John for your replies...I guess they in a way sum up a big part of my problem...some will say it's OCD and not to fear the fears, whilst others will say it's spiritual and you need to get right with God to FEEL right with God. Thanks again, I do appreciate you taking the...

Hi all...hope people are having a peaceful day OCD wise. Last night during the night it came to me as if it was being told me in my mind that I was a worthless rebrobate. I'm not even sure what a rebrobate is but I think it's someone who's willfully sinned and won't repent. I daren't dismiss...

Hey PJ...totally agree! Welld one for saying it how you feel...Rachel

Thanks ever so much HopingForJesus...that is a lovely passage! I guess where I turn it on its head is that because I don't see myself as being deserving of that understanding it therefore wont apply to me. I feel like somehow the way I am and who I am negates any of the good stuff about God's...

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Hey KayKay and Jayangel...you'll be missed but I respect your decisions. Take care and thank you for all your support, wisdom and love. Muchly thanks, Rachel