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  1. tallyn75

    It's been awhile (contains triggers)

    Doc said my hypothyroidism was back based on tests done before I restarted the lithium and lithium make it worse. So he put me on meds for that. He upped the lithium for the depressive episode. Then he addded Trazadone (he wasn't happy to learn I've only been getting about 4 hours sleep a...
  2. tallyn75

    It's been awhile (contains triggers)

    Wow, so this is part of what the ECTs made me forget (Had them Dec2009-Jan2010). The ECTs were of some benefit but they also caused me to hyper cycle so they were discontinued and in March 2010 (I think) I went back on Lithium. Lithium doesn't fix it all, but it does fix rapid cycling for me...
  3. tallyn75

    bipolar taking its toll

    I know it's been awhile since your post. I hope you're doing better. You may want to look for a Psychologist or Psychotherapist. They are train to listen and to help people through fears and other problems. Psychiatrist generally just specialize in diagnosing and medicating, and their...
  4. tallyn75

    I want off this Ride...

    'fraid I'm right there with you. I tried to stay on my high with caffeine tablets yesterday and today. It's not working--I give. But I'm afraid of where I'm headed next. i can't go back to the hospital, my family can't take anymore of my downs and they don't know about my ups.
  5. tallyn75

    Our (very wonderful) coffee shop, just for us! (3)

    Just checking in (meeting my husband for lunch here in a few). Flying a little today. :-)
  6. tallyn75

    Ok, I'm worried --please help!

    Thank you both for you're replies. I will do my utmost to implement these suggestions. A set bedtime is probably most difficult as my kids don't fall asleep easy. Also I could stand to lose a few pounds. Tallyn *listening to "Beautiful, Beautiful" by Francesca Battistelli
  7. tallyn75

    Ok, I'm worried --please help!

    I've been up on a high for almost 2 weeks and I'm starting to fall again. I've been on medication for about 5 years, and it seems to do nothing. I can't go back to the hospital --I won't!! It's tearing up my family! What non-medication things can I do to keep from falling so far? :(
  8. tallyn75

    What do you do...

    when you're starting to fly? I can feel the restlessness creeping up. I feel it like a mist swirling around me, calling out...calling me to fly. I've been here before on the rooftops. 10 thoughts for every word I speak. My very being seeks to be free. Just sitting here typing is an effort...
  9. tallyn75

    Who I am

    My life could be divided into 5 sections. If I can get it to work I have 5 pictures to represent the sections. In my beginning, all my needs were taken care of by my parents. All I wanted was to love them and be loved by my parents. My mother quickly became my best friend and my father...
  10. tallyn75

    Question: Hallucinations

    This discussion sure has blossomed, I'll read it more in depth tomorrow. There were quite a few good and helpful points. For that I thank you. I seem to be on the level at the moment, and it seems that the lithium the doctor put me on is helping. My next doctor's appointment is Feb 15...
  11. tallyn75

    Question: Hallucinations

    I used to have very distinct bipolar episodes that I could actually sit and chart them. And I'd have a good level period that I could clean up the mess the episode left behind. Now, I fly through them faster than I can bat an eye--least it feels that way. Maybe the ECTs are making things...
  12. tallyn75

    I've been away for awhile

    Thank you both for your words of encouragement. Leveled out? Well I guess I am level today. I seem to be cycling so fast, though, that I can have three or four good days, and then plummet to the bottom over the next couple days. I guess we'll see if this lasts until Sunday. If it does...
  13. tallyn75

    I've been away for awhile

    Thanks for your response and prayers. I am feeling better, but still feel locked in an unbreakable cycle. I don't know if there is anything left to try. I fear the consequences of these cycles. Consequences of things I never would have thought about doing before Bipolar reared it's ugly...
  14. tallyn75

    I've been away for awhile

    I'm not sure where to begin. I've had a rough 2-3 months (My memory sucks, I'll explain why in a minute). I went into the PHospital in November with a really bad depressive episode; and even though it's a bit better, I am still quite low. Toward the end of my hospital stay, the PDoc started...
  15. tallyn75

    Thinking about hurting/killing myself again

    I know this was written a good two weeks ago, but I have to say, I'm really identfying with this. I myself am bipolar and I am so sick of going through this time and time again and it's getting harder to repair the pieces of my life strewn about during my manias. I have a doctor's appointment...
  16. tallyn75

    It's been awhile (contains triggers)

    Thanks for listening and praying. I have never felt quite like this before. I am so angry at everything and even nothing. I feel so low that even low feels up, and yet I tend to lash out at those around me trying to help. Even sleep and my dreams seem to have a vendetta against me. My...
  17. tallyn75

    It's been awhile (contains triggers)

    Well I did attempt to reach the doctor, but didn't hear from him that day, got irritated and quit all my meds and didn't return my doctor's calls when he did call over the next couple days. Had myself a fine little trip into Candyland. Now I'm paying the piper. Got some financial snags to...
  18. tallyn75

    Everyone that is Bipolar please read this...

    <shudder> I offer my deepest sympathies. I wish I could offer more. I'm also made to walk the bi-polar path, and quite often it is also clouded with psychosis. During my more normal times, I'm well aware of the monster and just how tenuous a hold I really have on it. I fear that one day...
  19. tallyn75

    It's been awhile (contains triggers)

    I re-read what I wrote just over a week ago and it seems foreign to me. Alive Again, Thank you for your ready response and your prayers. Both are greatly appreciated. For the last few months I've been cycling really fast with hardly any time being level. For the past five days I've been...
  20. tallyn75

    Who is bipolar who has ever been committed in a psychiatric hospital? Me.

    I've been committed on 8 different occasions. 6 times for being suicidal or actual suicide attempts, 1 for a mixed episode, and once for a mostly pure full blown manic episode. I've had other manic episodes before and since but didn't land me in lock-up. The hospitals here will only keep...