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*sigh* I have only been told AGAIN clearly in a dream that what I did was spiritually fatal and that I am eternally beyond the grace and forgiveness of God. I was told that I am not wanted -that I am eternally separated from God and when I die I will eternally perish in the Lake of Fire. I...

Hi VOW, I've seen my pastor 4 times over this over the last year. They say it's psychological and there's nothing to worry about as far as losing my salvation is concerned- they are convinced in OSAS no matter what- they don't know about all this though- it is not something I could share...

'Why do I suddenly have an urge to slap a banjo on mah knee, an' sing "Oh Suzanna!"??? Sqm, you already KNOW God is real. You KNOW that He is perfect love. You KNOW that true happiness, AND eternity lies in Him. That "I'll wait" bit is still prodding from the evil one. Don't be a puppet...

Well the truth is IF Jesus calls me back, I will certainly come back to him. I never wanted to lose him. But I haven't got the faith at all anymore to come back to Jesus otherwise, unless he makes it clear to me personally that I can be forgiven and brought back even after this.

It's not that I have truly deliberately given my heart to Satan. What happened exactly was that in my mind, I uncontrolably ended up praying to Satan mentally and telling him in my mind that I gave my soul to him for all eternity- I have had to fight against continuous disturbing thoughts like...

Well obviously a non Christian who has not been enlightened by the witness of the Holy Spirit in their lives can be forgiven of this sin. I don't know whether a Christian can be though- it only happened because I really DID believe at the time that there was absolutely no more hope for me. God...

The tragedy of all of this was that I did ask Jesus to change me, long before this happened- I gave up everything too about me and in my life to the control of his Holy Spirit deliberately forever and meant it- but Jesus did not deliver me and let me fall. He allowed Satan to completely crush me...

I am no longer allowed to post on the Christian only forums and this is the last time I will post on this site- I only want to warn others of the truth. For 6 years I tried everything possible to truly accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour. I did everything possible to ask him because that was all I...

Honestly, I mean this with all respect- but I have sought and prayed to God, pleaded, begged, sometimes with tears of sorrow til I have been blue in the face and all I get is this cold wall of silence- I know I didn't use to feel so far away from God- I did feel his love and presence in my life...

Why don't you like the idea of loads of mud?! I suppose you are a sheep and not a pig (I DO mean in the literal sense of your id -nothing else!), but then I have seen some VERY muddy sheep too in my life! Oh well at least I haven't lost my sense of humour I guess! It is the only thing other...

But what if you go TOO far?- sure Jesus will go after the one lost sheep, but what if that sheep falls down a cliff or a mine shaft and perishes?! I don't want to believe that I can't come back, but I literally can't until Jesus tells me I can himself- believe me I have tried all I can before...

I will be praying for you daily. :pray: Praise God! :clap: [/B] Thanks you are really kind :wave: - lots of people are praying for me though and having been for months- sadly it is not doing any good! :sigh:

BTW What does your screen name stand for? [/B] Oh it just means something silly such as someone who loves jumping and rolling in mud and maybe eating it too!- just the result of a crazy imagination!- I do have a much more street cred? name which I usually post under but didn't want this...

Well I was told and made to believe that all you had to do was ask Jesus to forgive your sins- I think I have been decieved by Satan to my eternal loss- Satan wouldn't let me go and I was prevented from finding/even wanting to find out out the truth until it was too late.

What makes me so sick with worry and fear is that I was warned not to fall and commit this in a dream, and not once either- at the the time I didn't believe in eternal security- I didn't know about OSAS and was convinced that even if I ever just said a word of rejection against Christ I would be...

Hi sorry you can private message me now- I am to be a bit honest a bit cautious when signing up to forums with stuff like that.

Hi, I post this thread as a warning to everyone- Jesus has clearly told me in several dreams and through speaking to me that a genuine Christian can be eternally lost. I didn't believe it until now- I thought that OSAS was true and that one you belonged to Jesus that was it, you are eternally...

Hi, I understand totally what you mean. I am not addicted to inappropriate contentography- inappropriate contentography is not the problem- Thank God, it doesn't appeal to me. But for years ever since I became a Christian I have had a terrible struggle with a very similar sin. My problem is that if I fancy a girl or something, I...