Why do I keep backsliding?

You know, this used to happen to me before I finally got baptized. I don't know what it is about baptism, but it seemed to bring something into me that I lacked before.

It wasn't just a dunking for me. We did it in a public park, I did a confession of faith, we read scriptures pertaining to salvation and baptism, then we waded into the cold water (October in Ohio), and although I didn't feel terribly different when I came out, I was different. I am more centered and focused on Christ, find it easier to be faithful, although I still struggle with some sins, and am happier than I ever thought I could be.

I used to battle with sin and depression, but know I understand why people want to live.

Maybe this would work for you?

Originally posted by soulsisterclaire
I was saved in my teens and ever since then I keep backsliding.

I am so sick of disappointing the Lord by falling back away from Him.

Thanks!

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You know, I used to struggle with the same feelings, until I realized something. In order to disappoint someone, they have to have certain expectations of us that we don't meet. Since God knows all, He has no unmet expectations of us, and therefore He cannot be disappointed in us.

I also agree with the other post...when I was baptized, even though I didn't "feel" different, I could tell over time that something in me had been changed. My baptism was in an indoor pool (we now do them in the lake), and was an extremely emotionally moving experience. Surrounded by other Christians, worship music being softly played on the guitar, proclaiming my desire and commitment to follow after Christ...it was something I won't forget. But, even without the outside experience...it's what took place on the inside that actually made the difference in my life.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other...keep coming back to Him...trust that He desires to free you from those things that draw you away from Him... and know that His love for you is far greater than you can imagine!

By saying you returned to your old sinful ways, are you saying that you continue to sin...or that you turn away from God. There is a difference. Also...are you a part of a Bible believing church right now? Do you have fellowship with other Christians? We are not meant to be alone in our walk, but to be a part of a body of believers who will pray with and for us, counsel us, carry our burdens with us, hold us accountable, etc.

soulsisterclaire,

I would love to be that kind of Christian, too. I was saved early and powerfully, fell away during college and another number of years, and have been on a rather steep climb upward for the past 5 years. But I slip all the time, dear. It seems my ability to lean on God comes and goes with my emotions way too much, still, and I consider myself a very strong willed person. I know that I should commit it all to Him and just walk, but time and again I am brought up short in my own weakness.

The speed with which I can reconcile has improved with time's passing. The "category" and "quantity" of sins has been progressively better. But I still do things that, were I not saved, I would fully understand God summararily dismissing me from this earth, but for His long suffering.

My advice is to turn home every time you sin, as soon as you can. Offer your remorse, even though sometimes you may not feel it as strongly as you know you should. Your emotions will follow your will, albeit grudgingly. I've come to accept that only in my glorified body will sin be conquered, and that is a painful painful weeping thing. But He will finish this work, He will complete us. Keep Christian friends around. Pray continually. Know that we were meant for victory, but are doomed to battle with sin (though not alone!) until Christ returns for us. I try and stay focused on Genesis 4:7 when looking for courage. It seems to help me.

With you on your Walk,

Originally posted by soulsisterclaire


First it is just a sin here, a sin there. Eventually, I am back to my old sinful self, living just to please myself, then I turn away from God. For me, if I am continually sinning, I can not keep my relationship with God, that is lukewarm. I am a person of extremes. I am either with God or I am not. I am not one of those people that goes to church and plays the part even though I am backslid. If I am in active sin, I do not pray or talk to God or go to church. I just give in to the sin, then I get in trouble, punished by God, and come back to Him. I am terrible, I know.

I normally do go to a Bible based church.

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You are not terrible. You are a redeemed child of God who struggles with the same things we all struggle with because we still have bodies of flesh. "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." I believe one of your biggest problems is that you believe the lie of the enemy who speaks condemnation to you. You are not perfected, but in Christ, you ARE being perfected. I know how easy it is to withdraw from God when I've been in the place you find yourself in. All I can tell you is that in those times, I have to force myself to go to His Word, even when I don't feel like it, to go to Him in repentent prayer, even when I don't want to, and to seek out the wise counsel of a spiritually mature person, even when I don't want to. Sometimes, all I can say is, "Jesus, please help me." He is faithful, always. Don't give up. I'll be praying.

I am a Catholic, but there is a wonderful book by an evangelical named Watchman Nee that helped me a great deal in this respect. The book is called The Normal Christian Life.

He points out that "sins" are not the problem, but the sin principle within us. Until that is dealt with, "sins" will just keep coming.

But our Lord has dealt with it. How? By reforming it? No, by crucifixion. Dead men don't sin...

Perhaps this only sounds strange to you, but I am just trying to whet your appetite for the book.

Following his line of thinking and his recommendations WILL SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

Lee

Originally posted by soulsisterclaire
or am I doing something wrong in my walk with God that causes me to keep falling?

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If you do not make a complete and true repentance, then your spiritual life will always feel like you are rolling a rock up a hill only to watch it roll back down again. The secret it to just do it once and get the rock to the top of the hill. It might teeter some days and you can always decide to push it back down yourself, but it won't seem like so much effort.

This works because in the spiritual realm sins are interconnected in mysterious ways we can't necessarily see on the earthly plane. Consider for example what St. Paul said about lust -- that it's root cause is worshipping graven images with men's heads and bird on them (Romans 1:23-4). Isn't that a mystery? But if we are sinful and unfaithful to Christ in one aspect of our lives, it can be no surprise that we'll end up lost in other aspects.

Anyone who sins (mortally) turns away from God. That is what sin is. It is very hard to leave it behind unless a complete leap of faith is made.

Hi Dave,

I'm confused, you sound as if sinning is something you can leave for long stretches. I sin daily. Doesn't everyone? I've made complete/true repentances - it hasn't prevented sin from recurring. The point is that it's covered. In blood, in robes of righteousness. But just because it's forgiven doesn't end the process.

Maybe I don't understand whay you're saying.

That is what sin is. It is very hard to leave it behind unless a complete leap of faith is made.

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You can leave it behind, do you mean never to return? And I'm not sure what you mean by the "mortally" (vs. venial?) comment - is that a Catholic distinction you're making?

I'm capable of committing all sins, I think everyone is. It's a daily walk, to try and be so close to Christ & God that slowly (or quickly, I suppose), it doesn't occur to you to be anything other than what they'll have you to be. It's a submission of will to the recognized Will.

Originally posted by soulsisterclaire
Thank you Redeemed1. So what you are saying is that just because I may be in active sin, I do not have to turn away from God?

Ya know, as easy as that sounds, the thought never occurred to me. I have always judged others that did that as hypocritical, now, the way you put it, makes me see it in a totally different light! Cool.

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Yes, you got what I was saying. However, repentance is key to moving forward from sin. We confess our sins to Him, and He is faithful to not only forgive...but to "cleanse us from all unrighteousness". I love that part! (i believe it can be found in 1John). I believe the confession to Him is basically a coming into agreement with Him about the fact that what we have done is wrong. His Word is so clear that He is a merciful, compassionate, loving God and that He is at work in those who believe in His Son, and that His mercies are new every morning!

Originally posted by soulsisterclaire
Alright, what have you done with Dave?

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She's on to us! You'll never take me alive, copper!!

Here's a book recommendation, too. You can read the first few chapters online.

The Mirror of Simple Souls

Originally posted by Dave Ulchers

If you do not make a complete and true repentance, then your spiritual life will always feel like you are rolling a rock up a hill only to watch it roll back down again.

But if we are sinful and unfaithful to Christ in one aspect of our lives, it can be no surprise that we'll end up lost in other aspects.

Anyone who sins (mortally) turns away from God. That is what sin is. It is very hard to leave it behind unless a complete leap of faith is made.

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I have made complete and true repentance many times over sins I have committed. And yet, whether in action, thought, or attitude of heart, I continue to sin. But, because Christ is faithful, and is at work in me, I do not struggle with the same sins that I used to, and obedience becomes easier the longer I walk with Him. But I stress...it is because of Him in me...not me in me.

I don't believe that because I sin, I am turning away from God. If that is the case, then Paul, and every one of the disciples turned away from God. Paul himself said that the very things he did not want to do, he did, and the things he wanted to do are the things he did not do...indicating that Paul himself struggled with his flesh. Just because I give in to my flesh, does not mean that my heart has turned from God.

Sorry Dave, to be in disagreement with your post. I'm not trying to be contentious.

Originally posted by soulsisterclaire
Thank you Redeemed1. So what you are saying is that just because I may be in active sin, I do not have to turn away from God?

Ya know, as easy as that sounds, the thought never occurred to me. I have always judged others that did that as hypocritical, now, the way you put it, makes me see it in a totally different light! Cool.

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One of the hardest things for me is to find people to trust even in the church. It is so much easier to walk a decent walk if I have help. but I have even had situations where I'm in the church and get accused for political purposes of this or that.

I wanted to say that there's probably no one who has backslid much worse than me, and that what you've gotten from redeemed1 is very important. The day, the very instant I fall back, I should repent and get right back into the game with church and Christian support and pray confession and seek forgiveneness. Don't ever let anything come between you and God.

I don't always even do that. Perhaps it's also that I have issues with God Himself. Sometimes I get so tired (and the Bible says do not grow weary in well doing, which is scary) and I just wish He'd cut me a break somewhere. Nothing ever seems to go right! And people tell me "oh everyone thinks that" but they don't have the same experiences! So I don't know who to listen to or who to trust half the time. I have even had situations where I was so scared that I was lost, that God had had enough of me. But it seems to me clear that as long as you can repent in your heart that the Bible says God will forgive. It's when you lose the ability to admit sin that I think the Bible begins to warn you may be on the edge. And even that I'm not sure how to explain. I don't believe people just teeter on the edge and accidentally fall off into damnation. God watches after us.

If you're sorry for the sin that's a good sign, but I also think you can go too far the other way and feel constantly guilty. We aren't meant to live in a sense of constant condemnation either. Paul talks about the temptation to sin is no longer him but sin that lives in him, and that helps me to deel with what people refer to when Jesus says to even think this or that is a sin worthy of damnation. I am no longer the thought, the thought is outside of me, and if I resist it I am doing as I ought, and not sinning. This little mind game is what I think it means to try to be perfect with the help of the Holy Spirit. Maybe someone else can explain better.

This life is full of trouble, but hold on to Him. Really what else is there in this life to work towards, I sometimes ask myself. Even the sins I do give me no pleasure, just the most fleeting little sense of momentary relief. So why add guilt to the feelings of stress?

This post is all over the place and if it makes no sense at all well, take it for what you paid for it.