I don't think I want to...

pinPoint · Aug 1, 2003

so please wait. it will be worth while.

End of Topic. lol!

pin

ZiSunka · Aug 1, 2003

DaveKerwin said:
Let's remember that you are not given the gift of singleness by default because romance never worked for you. Singleness IS a gift, given by God, and he does not give it just because you struck out on the love scene. The gift is purposeful, and intentional.

No one should say they have this gift unless they really do. The Bible says that when we are married, our interests are divided between our spouse and God. The single person has the advantage in ministry because their devotion can be purely towards God, no divided interest. This is an honorable thing. Paul was very proud of his singleness and his serving Christ in that. So the gift is something you are called to, NOT something you get by default.

I never said romance never worked out for me. As I said in the past, I have had six serious marriage proposals. I could be married if I wanted to. In fact, I once was married. The question I asked was rhetorical, not a complaint. You can't assume that you are not meant to ever marry based on turning down a marriage proposal. If a drunk proposes, do you have to either marry him or give up on marriage altogether? Of course not!

I still maintain that singleness is not a "gift" in the spiritual sense. There are gifts of tongues and teaching and generosity and so on, but not a gift of never being married. Marriage is a choice. Singleness is a choice.

I really can't see any Biblical basis for a notion that God sets some people for marriage and sets some people to be single all their lives.

DaveKerwin · Aug 1, 2003

Lambslove, I was not making a direct link between your situation any my statements. I was NOT implying you have trouble with romance, that was just something on topic with the discussion. 1 Corinthians 7 is a chaper that really applies to this, here are a few verses

6-7
I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

32-35
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

40
In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is- (single)

I think singleness is a gift, maybe not a supernatural gift, but a gift nonetheless. And yes, it is by choice too. A person can have the gift of teaching, but choose not to use it. This is a moot point though.

ZiSunka · Aug 1, 2003

I think in Paul's case, he was using the word gift to mean, "a talent, an ability, an aptitude, a skill, a knack," not a spiritual endowment from God.

Some people have the knack of living single, and some people don't and those who don't should seek marriage to keep them out of trouble.

Just like some people have a talent for music, and those that don't, ought not seek out professional musician jobs. Music isn't a spiritual endowment, it is a skill that is developed over time and with practice.

Singleness isn't a spiritual endowment, it is an ability to live without marital distractions.

See the difference?

alonesoldier · Aug 1, 2003

I would never get married. I don't care what the cirumstances are or what the grand design is. I refuse. Every married person I know is miserable.

DaveKerwin · Aug 1, 2003

I think it is a gift and a choice.

venice · Aug 2, 2003

alonesoldier said:
I would never get married. I don't care what the cirumstances are or what the grand design is. I refuse. Every married person I know is miserable.

I use to think the same way. And sometimes I do! But I've seen MANY marriage couples that are great together. No marriage is perfect, but it's something that if you choose to go into, you gotta work at it, CONSTANTLY, and ask God for His guidance and patience. I'm really not ready for that, but I think one day I'll be (I HOPE!). I don't wanna stay alone forever!!

BigToe · Aug 2, 2003

if you don't want to get married, you don't have to. isn't that great?!? and for those of you who do, i pray you find the perfect spouse God has for ya.

i really had something else to say but forgot what it was so thats what i came up with instead. sorry its stating the obvious.

Donny_B · Aug 2, 2003

I Cor 7 could be on the back of your mind which states that if divorced you should remain unmarried, or else reconcile with your first spouse (I Cor 7:10-11). Such a reconciliation might be impossible in your situation. If he is remarried this would constitute adultery on his part (Mark 10:11-12).

I have really never thought of this subject that much..

I did find this thread discussing the topic: http://www.christianforums.com/t6005

alonesoldier · Aug 2, 2003

Am i completely wrong for thinking that getting married so you can have sex is really wierd. I mean we all are imperfect humans, doesn't that become at least a hidden motive when your pushing thirty and your still a virgin? Just a question, not trying to be argumenative.

Hound · Aug 2, 2003

For those of us who are alone, and will probably be alone for a long time to come, is it acceptable to resign yourself to not even bothering with relationships? To learn to lie, unflinching, and say that I am happy alone? I guess I should have married ol'whatsername.

alonesoldier · Aug 2, 2003

I actually am not like other people, I honestly do want to be alone, my friends beat my door down 7 days a week and girls like me, but I just perfer to only go out maybe once a week, I love just hanging out in my apartment, reading, writing, learning, watching tv. Im anti social I guess. But Im not lying, I enjoy all my time. Im not a player who intentionally doesnt call the next day, I honestly dont think to do so.

moerunamida · Aug 4, 2003

Don't believe I'll ever get married. I'm way too complicated for any guy to marry me, let alone love me.

~Mandie

ZiSunka · Aug 4, 2003

Donny_B said:
I Cor 7 could be on the back of your mind which states that if divorced you should remain unmarried, or else reconcile with your first spouse (I Cor 7:10-11). Such a reconciliation might be impossible in your situation. If he is remarried this would constitute adultery on his part (Mark 10:11-12).

I have really never thought of this subject that much..

I did find this thread discussing the topic: http://www.christianforums.com/t6005

He had a baby with another woman while we were married. I think that would qualify as adultery, and thus divorce and remarriage would be permissable.

ZiSunka · Aug 4, 2003

alonesoldier said:
Am i completely wrong for thinking that getting married so you can have sex is really wierd. I mean we all are imperfect humans, doesn't that become at least a hidden motive when your pushing thirty and your still a virgin? Just a question, not trying to be argumenative.

That's only part of the reason to get married. Compatible goals in life is more important than sexual attraction, but that doesn't get much press these days.

ZiSunka · Aug 4, 2003

Hound said:
For those of us who are alone, and will probably be alone for a long time to come, is it acceptable to resign yourself to not even bothering with relationships? To learn to lie, unflinching, and say that I am happy alone? I guess I should have married ol'whatsername.

Or better yet, actually learn to be happy in whatever situation you are in. Bloom where you are planted. Accept singleness as a good thing, and marriage as a good thing, too.

Donny_B · Aug 4, 2003

If your spouse dies, you are clearly permitted to remarry. If your spouse commits adultery, is he or she treated as if they are dead?

The marriage vows are for better for worse, until death do you part, and as long as you both shall live.

The clear lesson is for those who are never-married, to be very careful in who they walk down the aisle with. The vows are for a lifetime, not until the next divorce. Are you sure you want to live with the same person for the rest of your life, to see the same face all the time. If the answer is yes, then marriage is for you. But, if you can't stand the person a year later, then too bad, you already said "I do".

Paul was unmarried and didn't really dwell on it, he just wrote a chapter or two on it, and that's it. And we shouldn't dwell on it. Get on with your life. There are much more important things in the world happening to think about.

SAPguy · Aug 4, 2003

I think marriage will be cool. I may not be ready for it at this moment, but I am looking forward to it. Other than God, what could be better than someone who is always there to listen and talk with? A constant companion who loves you as much as you love them.

I am just wondering if I will ever meet the right girl. Meeting people is the easy part. Meeting the right person, the one who God has picked out for me, is the difficult part.

hotknikkels · Aug 5, 2003

I think that if you don't wanna get married, that is great! God will use you without you getting married. I have a question though, do you still want a girlfriend?

ZiSunka · Aug 6, 2003

Donny_B said:
If your spouse dies, you are clearly permitted to remarry. If your spouse commits adultery, is he or she treated as if they are dead? The marriage vows are for better for worse, until death do you part, and as long as you both shall live.

The clear lesson is for those who are never-married, to be very careful in who they walk down the aisle with. The vows are for a lifetime, not until the next divorce. Are you sure you want to live with the same person for the rest of your life, to see the same face all the time. If the answer is yes, then marriage is for you. But, if you can't stand the person a year later, then too bad, you already said "I do".

Paul was unmarried and didn't really dwell on it, he just wrote a chapter or two on it, and that's it. And we shouldn't dwell on it. Get on with your life. There are much more important things in the world happening to think about.

Ah! You are one of those people who only read one verse of the NT about divorce and think they know the whole mind of God on the subject. Read Matthew, too, not just Corinthians.

I don't think I want to...

Active Member

It means 'yellow dog'

Represent the Most High

It means 'yellow dog'

Senior Veteran

Represent the Most High

"Dios es Amor"

You are my itchy sweater.

Well-Known Member

Senior Veteran

Woof

Senior Veteran

Prayer Warrior

It means 'yellow dog'

It means 'yellow dog'

It means 'yellow dog'

Well-Known Member

Mad cow

™Barbarian Christian™

It means 'yellow dog'

Similar threads