My husband has left me

Heatherondo

The Queen of Tmi <img src="http://www3.christianfo
Jul 21, 2003
1,159
77
53
Arkansas
Visit site
✟9,211.00
Faith
Baptist
My husband about a month and a half ago fell into a one time incident with someone he had made friends with online that involved a sexual situation via IM.
he felt horibble, and told me, i forgave him. BUt, it set him on a path of self loathing.
My husband (of 11 years) has always been faithful, loving and kind. He took care of me when i became very immobile with disability (i am just now 33), he has been a wonderful husband.
but... after this... he changed... and he started saying about amonth ago he wanted to seperate, that there is somehtnig better ut there for me. and in the same process he has started chatting up women on the internet, and even met with two for a sexual liason on july 7th and 8th.. Now ht you need to understand is that we had decided not to seperate, and were moving back to the state we came form where my mother had rented us an apartment, because he has not worked steadily in 2 years, lay offs just seemed to follow him. we d no way to pay our rent or bills in the state we were. I left on july 5th with our stuff and my mom, he was to wrap up the utilities etc over the weekend and join me july 6th. On that day he recived a phone call for a job. decided that was God saying stay there.
He now says he is filing for divorce as soon as possile and that it is not about any woman. He says he has been unhappy for three years because i changed and became less affectionate, and he says he tried to tell me ithurt him, but i just did not realize.
i feel in my heart this is not Gods will. But atthe same time i am so emotionally devastated, as well as scared because i am disabled to the point i can not provide for myself what so ever. I have no kids so alot of social services are not available. I am trying for SSI but it will not be much.
I have forgiven my husband and want him back so very much, i love him so much. And i do not want anyone else or "anyone better" which he says i deserve.
he plans to stay in my life as a friend.
he has also been talking of suicidal thoughts, relapsed into drug use and drinking, he is in trouble finacially for bad checks, he has no place to live after two days form now and no money for food.
the jobsstarts trainning on august 1st (ironicly our 11th wedding anniversery)
i have put it in Gods hands. after spending the last two weeks cru=ying and begging my husband to ome back and explaining tohim divorce is wrong, and he is indeed a christian as am i, but he is definetely in crisis mode.
I am just a nervous wreck, devastated and confused!
i cant see a life without my husband and i seriously feel its not what Gods will.
any words for me?
 

Sleepyd

Regular Member
Jun 24, 2003
415
105
41
London
✟1,101.00
Faith
Protestant
My goodness, I'll certainly remember you in my prayers - sounds simply awful.

I'm certainly not the best to advise but I'd say that it would be useful to pray that your husband resolves his debt worries, his concerns, and the break up through the power of God and not drink and drugs. Also pray that he'd realise his Christian role in loving and caring for you - he has a clear responsibility to do that in the light of your needs, even as a friend.

For any of your needs, you need remember to ask God in good faith that he'll provide. You do have a future.

revelation 3:20 said:
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.

God will delight in your trust.
A difficult, but applicable verse:

James 1 said:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt.....Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Philippians 4:6 said:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things

I really don't want to continue and sound dogmatic - it's clearly a very delicate situation, but you have my prayers at least. I have every confidence that you'll triumph in this, be faithful, be strong, and face perhaps a better and more secure future. Be sure to let us know your progress with this.
 
Upvote 0

Vollkommen Warrior

Senior Member
Jun 24, 2003
727
6
Visit site
✟917.00
Faith
Christian
OUch!!This one has got to hurt! That doesn't mean it is time to focus on the pain though. I will pray for you!! Time to figure out how you can be more self sufficient. It will mean getting out of those comfort zones you have become used to. I really think there is no other choice. Just move on and take it day by day. You can do it with the Lords help! You will begin to feel more empowered and a greater sense of self worth because of this challenge. Just remember this when it gets tough and remember the goal. God bless.:pray:
 
Upvote 0
Jun 25, 2003
1,146
45
Tacoma, WA
Visit site
✟9,288.00
Faith
Marital Status
Single
My Sister HeatherRondo,

The scripture I am sharing with you is for you and some for your husband. Pray to YHWH in Yeshua that HE reveals these and any other scriptures that are in the Bible to your husband.


Paul's Letter to the Ephesians
6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and, having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having the utility belt of truth buckled around your waist, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having fitted your feet with the preparation of the Good News of peace; 16 above all, taking up the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the spoken word of God; 18 with all prayer and requests, praying at all times in the Spirit, and being watchful to this end in all perseverance and requests for all the holy ones: 19 on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in opening my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the Good News, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Romans 6 and 7
Matthew 5:31-33 (I think this goes for both men and women)
Luke 18:18-30

Remember that we are to Seek first the Kingdom of GOD and HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, then HE will add all these things to us. At times the spouse isn't right with GOD and therefore falls away or has already and only had a surface following. I'm not saying your husband is this, I pray he isn't. Yet we must understanding at times the lusts of the world overwhelm the other and they go chasing after the world and say they think things that are happening are because GOD has let it happen. This is true, because GOD will let someone whose heart isn't right with HIM to have what they really want.
So now what must be done. Read the first scripture I posted and Pray. At times it takes Fasting. But remember GOD is the ONE who has THE POWER to DO ALL THINGS if WE TRUST HIM with all OUR HEART, MIND and SOUL. HE knows the HEART of MAN(Man and Woman). Yeshua said to Ask and you shall recieve. Knock and the door will be opened to you. Everything works together for the good of those Who are Called ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE.

May our Father YHWH, Blessed be HIS name, Who is in Heaven be with you in your daily walk with Yeshua Who is OUR MASTER and LORD, Who we Die daily in this World for.
The only words of comfort I have is scripture. I will keep you and your husband in prayer.
Trust in Yeshua(Jesus) and what ever comes of this is what He knows is for HIS Purpose.
If Yeshua Raised the Dead then He can bring a raise the Heart of someone to Righteousness to Him.
Your
Tears will become Joy
0029.gif
_________________
0019.gif

May the peace that transcends all understanding be with you,

Tag
 
Upvote 0

ukok

Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and Emotional
Mar 1, 2003
8,610
406
England
Visit site
✟19,706.00
Faith
Catholic
Aww, that was beautiful Tag, don't know what i can add to that - except to say that I truly feel for you HeatherRondo. Lean on the Lord through these difficult times, He WILL provide for you. I will pray for you and for the situation in which you find yourself.
 
Upvote 0

SpiritualSon

Regular Member
Jul 24, 2003
125
4
82
Florida
Visit site
✟7,778.00
Faith
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Democrat
Friend,
You husband needs to talk with the Lord. He must be trueful with God.I know something about praying, but I can't post it here. This place is not for pray topic. I will put one in for you in the pray topic. It's about how to pray.

Harry :)
 
Upvote 0

Heatherondo

The Queen of Tmi <img src="http://www3.christianfo
Jul 21, 2003
1,159
77
53
Arkansas
Visit site
✟9,211.00
Faith
Baptist
Well here i am over a year later, the divorce was final april 5th he remarries may 8th and has a baby due in september.
I did not think i would survive, and i truly did not believe he would ever go thru with it, i still think if he hadnt gotten the girl he was dating casually pregnant (they broke up repeatedly times a month between november and janurary) he would have ended up coming home. Anyway. After a period of being mad at God and not understanding how he could have allowed it, I am picking myself up. Getting healthy. And working on my relatiomship with God.
war weary and looking at a whole new life.
 
Upvote 0

TheMainException

Senior Veteran
Jun 13, 2004
2,957
92
36
In my universe
✟19,228.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Libertarian
Your husband seems to me to need help by what you have written...he might be seriously depressed. I am glad that you have been able to get through this divorce, by what I've seen and heard it has to be one of the worst things a person can ever go through. Keep looking forward, God will use you if you let him. I will spend much time in prayer for you...with all love I can send, Lauren
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Heatherondo

The Queen of Tmi <img src="http://www3.christianfo
Jul 21, 2003
1,159
77
53
Arkansas
Visit site
✟9,211.00
Faith
Baptist
Well he was on medication for depression and quit it cold turkey just before the breakdown/cheating.suicide attempts/leaving me.

In his mind he betrayed me in a way that he could not live with and stay with me. Guilt and depression literally took him over.
Its was horrible to watch this happen to someone i loved.Especially while he was being so hurtful to me. I prayed and continue to pray for him and his new wife and impending baby. Because a child doesnt need an unstable father.
I pray for his renewal in the Lord.:pray:
 
Upvote 0