I need HELP!!!

heavymetal... dude don't worry about the others and their beliefs, make sure you get right with God. don't stop praying for the hypocrites though - God will one day judge us all, its not our job. as for the lust and inappropriate content and the 'self-sex' thing. its my biggest struggle. but ive had the big change that you're wanting, and it is possible, but only God can give it to you. don't stop beleiving or praying. all things work for good for those who love Him! heres my story:

Lane one: I was a geek and a loner. I was 12 years. So I hunted the internet for friends. Somewhere inappropriate contentography jumped on the screen. It found me – I didn’t go looking for it. It became my friend. It satisfied me and gave me joy and pleasure. It didn’t last. It was empty, filthy garbage. I still wanted a friend and I thought anyone would do so I became a bisexual. I hunted the internet for images and videos and stories of sex. Its absolutely disgusting and I deserve to be stoned for it… it gave me release for a while… but its immoral and worldly so of course it didn’t satisfy my hunger for love. I turned to alcohol. I found friends who drank, and it gave me a new and different pleasure. I could be and feel however I wanted. I got snapped drunk by my Christian folks, and I felt gutted, coz they hated that sort of thing. They forgave me, and I couldn’t believe it coz I was expecting much worse. So I stopped drinking. Time passed and I was still lonely, so I tried drugs. They were much like alcohol. So I stopped that straight away. Still having a great void in my life, I needed a friend or something to give me some purpose or meaning. So I fell back into inappropriate content. I became so addicted. Every night I was stuck on the internet flicking through site after site, and picture after picture, trying to fill my mind with the same feelings and pleasure I got when I first found inappropriate content. It wasn’t working. I needed the real thing. I found a random guy on the net and I arranged to meet him. I went and slept with him at his house. Then I found another guy and did the same. And then with women... And again… and again…

Lane two: Writing this – I am 19. I was brought up in the usual christian home – even a christian school. Bla bla bla…
Became a christian I don’t know when…had waning commitments and even a baptism. Lived a christian life for show. I was the little saint at church, preaching and showing off my knowledge of the bible. But what for? I didn’t live it. I hated what I did. All my life I was hiding my deep hurt. I was lonely and depressed. I lay on my bed one night in august 2001, and I wanted to die. I felt helpless and utterly loathsome. The guilt of all my sin and the attacks of the devil drove me to killing my self. I wrote the letter. But I had no knife or anything in my room. So I fell asleep in my tears.

Still I struggled with an addiction to inappropriate content. Hiding my sexuality. Lying continually to peers and parents. I felt so bad. I wanted to stop but I didn’t. I hated what I was doing, but it brought some perverse pleasure. I had no where to go and no one to talk to. I prayed so much for release from my addiction, but it never came. I kept going back to sin. Every now and again I would have some brief freedom from the addiction, at times it lasted several months – nearly a year. But eventually after finding no alternative to the void in my life I would go back to the known formula. I prayed and prayed, I searched the internet for advice. I looked for a magical cure to my sin. I wanted a quick release button from my life. I knew it was Jesus. I knew it all along, but I never knew how. I didn’t know what I could do. Finally I realised I couldn’t do anything. Only God can.

He brought me to confess to a lady at church. It was so hard. I was in tears, but I got through it. She prayed for me. And I found a huge relief from the pain. For months I felt great. Getting to know God better. Praying all the time and really reading the Word lots. Then one day, I can’t remember how or why, I found myself back at the computer looking up inappropriate content. Afterwards I was gutted. How could I turn back all that progress I had made? Then I truly realised the power of forgiveness. No matter how many times we turn our backs on God, Jesus looks down on us from His cross and says you’re forgiven. His grace is the best, and it abounds no matter what we have done or will continue to do. I will never be free from all sin in this life. By nature we are all sinful. Thank God though I have been freed from the penalty of sin. I’m now following the path that God leads me in. I try to spend my time getting to know my God better. By reading the word of God morning and evening, praying on my knees each night, fasting once a week, worship, listening to the wisdom of others etc. I am ready to do whatever he asks me to do. It was a long and painful road to get to where I am today. But I’m here and I’m forever looking forward to the end of the road!
In July of 2001 I wrote these lines in a desperate cry to God:

I feel like an eagle chained tightly
Around my ankles to the most luscious
Looking branch of sin in the tree.
Often I fly away and get quite high
But my chain is always not long enough…
I am eventually jerked back to the
Branch of the sinful tree
The more I eat the berries of the branch
The more I crave for its taste
Please unchain me…
Will I ever be free?
That was 2 years ago. Today I can say that I am free.
I was desperate for sex - with men or women. I was addicted to inappropriate contentography. I am still tempted. I still sin. But I am no longer a slave to that sin! Won’t you be free too?

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16

For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. Romans 5:6

Look up Ephesians 2.

That testimony of your personal struggles and attempts to overcome them, just blew me away, Redjosh!

HMJ777, you only have to read the above to realise the power of the LORD working within our lives for the greater good of our spiritual well being. There is hope, you can overcome this obsession. You are young and vulnerable and your body is a mass of hormones - maturity and self denial and dependance upon Christ will save the day ultimately. I wish you well and will pray to the LORD that you may find relief from your struggles.

Hang in there bro.
You gotta find a better way to spend your time.
You're gonna need to get away from your computer.
I'm here for you.

I'll pray for you!

I'll keep praying for you too! Try to stay focused on God and His word. It also sounds like it's time to find some new friends. As someone who has had struggles with inappropriate content in the past I sympathize with how difficult it can be! Don't give up!

HeavyMetalJesus777 said:

I''m a teenager that is in need of change!! I lust over a lot of girls and it is a sin, guys tell me that "Oh I'm a guy it's not a sin to lust and have pre-marriage sex" and they claim to be a "true christian." It makes so ****ed off to hear them say that! But I need prayers for you to help me stop looking and inappropriate content and to stop the "self-sex' thing. I need you to pray to the hyprocrites that has befell me, I have so much wrath for the sexual hyprocrites. I need to stop my lustful thoughts and help me because I myself feel like a hyprocrites. I don't want to feel like I have sooo much faith in the Lord that I don't follow Him.

Grace of God be with all. And I pray that all of you people stop the lustful thoughts too...because Day of Wrath is at hand.

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What you have to do brother is completely remove yourself from all of the ways you're tempted by inappropriate contentography. If you have magazines, throw them out. If you get inappropriate content movies on TV then get rid of the service, satellite, or cable that's tempting you. If your friends want you to hang with them and they check out inappropriate content then get away from them.

Brother, I know you can be delivered from inappropriate contentography addiction because I have been! My father used to keep XXX mags under his TV on his TV stand after my mother died. I thought as a young teenager that I had hit the jackpot! But, oh how hard it is to break free from that habit. Pour out your heart to Him. It sounds like the Lord has already been telling you a little about what you need to do. One of the best things I see about your post is that you realize it's wrong. That's from the Lord!

Try to saturate yourself with as much of God's word as you can. Go to church as often as you can. Read your Bible as much as you can. Look for a strong Christian who you admire and respect at your church and ask him to take you under his wing so to speak. Watch good Christian TV sermons and listen to good Christian radio as much as you can. inappropriate contentography is an addiction. Remember the Lord says to you, "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion" and "He is the potter and you are the clay." He will bring your deliverance to pass. Hang in there, brother I'll be praying for you!

great advice bob.
i reckon one of the most effective out of your list is to a find an older strong christian to to be accountable to. meet every week, confess all that has happened during the past week and then pray for each other. its a great way to see God answer prayer and to encourage each other, and its often harder to lie to another person than it is to God.

redjosh said:

great advice bob.
i reckon one of the most effective out of your list is to a find an older strong christian to to be accountable to. meet every week, confess all that has happened during the past week and then pray for each other. its a great way to see God answer prayer and to encourage each other, and its often harder to lie to another person than it is to God.

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Thank you redjosh. I would like to say that you have a very powerful testimony. God bless you brother. May our great God continue His transformation power in your life.

YGPM. I'm praying bro.

what does YGPM mean?

YGPM = You've got a private message

THATS ME EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! i'm only 12 and...

ugh i'm so ashamed! i'm so freakin' scared of hell, and whats to come, but when my mom leaves for work, and she's not to come home for awhile I go straight to my favorite inappropriate content site... which i will not list here because i do not want any of you to be hooked too!

but, i'm taking steps.. i'm not going to be living like this forever. I'm telling my mom as soon as she gets home. ITS THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF THAT WILL HELP! HEED THIS ADVICE:

get help.

SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND... umm.. don't remember where thats from but ITS IN THE BIBLE!

seek help and you will find it... so i'm seeeking help. I hope many of you will do the same. I tried to trust God (and He did his part) but, i would say NO GOD! IM HORNY and would jump on the internet. Haveing dsl doesn't help, either. but please, pray for me people. this brings me back to the demon hunter song.. umm.. titled TURN YOU BACK AND RUN:

I'm growing partial to detesting a disease in me/ it's head swells into beatiful dependency/ with teeth that feed on flash and everything i swear that i'm not/ a small price to bleed/ and give you everything that you want/ dancing with the spirit/ giving heart to pump a dirty vein/ leaving with a scar/ a uniform to bruise a perfect stain/ anything you hate will be the root of everything that you breate/ breathing in the dirt will elave you hating all that you conceive/

chorus:
I TRY TO PUSH MYSELF UP, I'm BREAKIN FROM THE INSIDE I'M SLIPPING THROUGH THE CRACKS AND, I TRY TO PUSH IT OUT OF MIND
SWITCH
YOUVES GOT TO TURN YOUR BACK AND RUN
SWITCH

To push it out is just a patch to heal a gaping wound/ a brass track to pin a hair and heal a broken tomb/ i never thought i'd be the one to bring it down to this/ my last thought is through a stateent and a shattered fist/ face down FEARLESS LIGHT ME UP/ END THIS/

chorus

(gets kinda slow and cool-like)

MiCrons from the FLame head/ Beat my hands To PROCeed noTHing/ staring into souls with blind eyes/ takeing the throne in my tiny hand....

(goes back to cutting vocals and heavy guitars)

AND CHASE IT WITH THE PAIN/ YOU WONT HAVE LIFE UNTIL YOU RUN/ youve got TO GIVE IT ALL AWAY/

chorus


umm.. got kinda carried away but its a good song.. and i'm going to tell my mom.

love you all

heya bro, glad to hear you're gonna quit inappropriate content before you get addicted to it. i give you every blessing and may the strength of God be upon you.
i love the lyrics to your song... i know a similar one by stavesacre. songs can be powerful eh!

you are in my prayers. one of the fruits of the Spirit is self control, call on Him to empower you with His gifts. He will honour you for your commitment.

do not fear hell, we have an eternal salvation that is secured and guaranteed through the blood of Jesus. and the sign of this is His helper. nothing will ever seperate us from God once we are called unto Him.

Peace.

Bros:
Take it easy on yourselves.
I do exhort you to get away from inappropriate content becaus eit is not healthy at all.
Have a purpose for going to your computer, like check your email. The second you have accomplished your purpose, turn off the machine and get away from it.
Read something. Do your homework, learn something. Have something to show for your time here on earth.
You can do it.
As far as masturbation, where you guys, or anyone, are at in life right now, it's the least of what you need to pay attention to. Don't worry about it. Just don't let it be all you ever want to do. That's not good no matter what it is you're doing.
Really.