My husband has left me

My husband about a month and a half ago fell into a one time incident with someone he had made friends with online that involved a sexual situation via IM.

he felt horibble, and told me, i forgave him. BUt, it set him on a path of self loathing.

My husband (of 11 years) has always been faithful, loving and kind. He took care of me when i became very immobile with disability (i am just now 33), he has been a wonderful husband.

but... after this... he changed... and he started saying about amonth ago he wanted to seperate, that there is somehtnig better ut there for me. and in the same process he has started chatting up women on the internet, and even met with two for a sexual liason on july 7th and 8th.. Now ht you need to understand is that we had decided not to seperate, and were moving back to the state we came form where my mother had rented us an apartment, because he has not worked steadily in 2 years, lay offs just seemed to follow him. we d no way to pay our rent or bills in the state we were. I left on july 5th with our stuff and my mom, he was to wrap up the utilities etc over the weekend and join me july 6th. On that day he recived a phone call for a job. decided that was God saying stay there.

He now says he is filing for divorce as soon as possile and that it is not about any woman. He says he has been unhappy for three years because i changed and became less affectionate, and he says he tried to tell me ithurt him, but i just did not realize.

i feel in my heart this is not Gods will. But atthe same time i am so emotionally devastated, as well as scared because i am disabled to the point i can not provide for myself what so ever. I have no kids so alot of social services are not available. I am trying for SSI but it will not be much.

I have forgiven my husband and want him back so very much, i love him so much. And i do not want anyone else or "anyone better" which he says i deserve.

he plans to stay in my life as a friend.

he has also been talking of suicidal thoughts, relapsed into drug use and drinking, he is in trouble finacially for bad checks, he has no place to live after two days form now and no money for food.

the jobsstarts trainning on august 1st (ironicly our 11th wedding anniversery)

i have put it in Gods hands. after spending the last two weeks cru=ying and begging my husband to ome back and explaining tohim divorce is wrong, and he is indeed a christian as am i, but he is definetely in crisis mode.

I am just a nervous wreck, devastated and confused!
i cant see a life without my husband and i seriously feel its not what Gods will.
any words for me?

i absolutely am not wanting to stay with him out of fear.

and up until just recently he was an awesome husband.

something has just gotten very broken in him....
he is trying to isolate himself
from ppl
he is my a part of me, losing him feels like someoe ripping off an apendage

i am trying to do that. I have finally relinquished it God, i was really trying to do Gods work and force my husband to come back. Patience is NOT my gift. BIG TIME!
neither is uncertainty, and reliquishing control. How iever was able to find my faith in Christ is beyond me other than a movement from God himself to move me. Well isnt that how we all came to the LOrd?

E-beth said:

God probably wants to do some work on your husband. And you. But one thing is for sure, you don't need to be with someone who is taking drugs. Never think that by separating or by even divorcing that God is finished with the two of you.

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The drug thing he has stopped already. He is however going out on friday and saturday drinking with a non-christian friend who is the one providing the ride and drinks.

My husband is hurting BAD. I can see it. he has had such a hard 2 years job wise...and work is something he has always prided hiself in doing well.

he keeps saying i deserve better, and i am afraid this is all because he thinks he cant provide for me and i would live in a shack in the woods with nothing and be with him.

The bad treatment, is just starting with these events. yet in the middle of it he comforting and loving which usually is followed by him being cold again.
He needs help.

He has actually said he has hit the bottom of a black pit... and i have been given a very forgiving spirit for my husband by the Lord, something sadly can not say i had a month ago, now, all of his transgression just do not matter, and i am thankful for that because dwelling on hurtful things can be destructive. I am realizing as my husband tries to find a place to stay, he is homeles as of thursday, has no money and no food, i am the only on who cares about his well being every single friend and family member has turned him away. Which is shocking to me because these ppl (save for his family, who are not christians an actually resent my husbands faith) are very giving people.

God is closing all his doors, and leaving him no option i think. I am supporting and loving him through this crisis, even if only as a friend, which is what he says he needs me to be.

he has had a devastating two years job wise, and i am realizing more and more this is about his feelings of failure than anything else. Pray for him He is a broken man.
I actaully fear he will harm himself at times he is in such a dark place right now.

he loves the Lord, he says he still has his faith, i just think maybe there is a lot of junk coming between him and God making it difficult for him to see or think clearly

I have prayed much and long on this and at first i was not sure who was what where or when i was so mixed up, i mean in may i was happily married in june i was not. know what i mean?

but now that i have calmed down and i am a great peace i am able to sort between flesh and the spirit.
which is why i am able to put it in Gods hands i know God is not going to give me anything i can not handle and wishes me not to suffer.
whatever and however he works it out, i have peace it is for my best interest. i just had to stop crying and dwelling on it all and trying to make my husband come back by my will. and already communication between us has improved a bit.
Since i have stopped crying and begging. Which was just sad, because i have never been "that: woman. And my husband even said it was kinda sad to see because it was so uncharacteristic of me. Yeah that was gonna bring him back a pitiful blubbering pile of pain? lol I am just glad I gave God control before i wrecked it bigtime

My husband has said i changed and became less affectionate, which i see now i had, and God has dealt with me on why and has been working on me alot. I am actually thinking maybe God is , in a way , rebuilding us. Our marriage was never God centered like it should be, because we started off not in the most godly place, we both had hit a low in our lives when we met, but felt God meant for us to be together and always did afterwards, but we made mistakes, and as a result i think God was not at the center all the time like He should have been

well weve tried our whole marriage but it did not always last and we have both had periods where we were really on fire bu they rarely ever seemed to coincide together....