Changed my mind...

I don't find any scriptural support to say that there is only one person we can marry. This is due to our free will. You take a verse from the Psalms that says how man will decide where he goes, but the lord directs his steps. To me, it says how we will decide for ourselves what we do, but IN that is God's direction.

So, God may direct you towards a person, but ultimately it is your decision who you marry, or if you stay single.

For example, I could propose to the woman I am dating, and marry her in a few months. I could also end the relationship today and date someone else, and marry them. See what I mean?

I posted a similar topic ages ago. There are some good answers in their that make you think a bit:

http://www.christianforums.com/t35211

Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6

What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. I Corinthians 6:16

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A study of the genealogies of Jesus is interesting. Matthew records His royal genealogy through Joseph and Luke records His human genealogy though Mary. Each generation along the way had to be perfectly matched in order to produce our Saviour. Yet, each individual listed must have felt he or she had "free will" to choose the mate he or she desired. But God was in control all of the time.

Courtesy the Defender's Study Bible, study notes written by Dr. Henry Morris. Footnote for Matthew 1:3:

It is significant that four women are mentioned in this royal genealogy of Jesus - Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and the wife of Uriah (Matthew 1:3,5,6). All four were special examples of God's grace. Tamar may have been a Canaanite who posed as a harlot to seduce Judah (Genesis 38:13-18). Rahab was also a Canaanite and had been a prostitute (Joshua 2:1). Ruth was a Moabite (Ruth 1:4), a member of a nation commited to idolatry and opposition to the people of God. A Hittite woman, Bathsheba (Uriah's wife), committed adultery with King David (II Samuel 11:2-5). All of these women could, by the law, have been ex-communicated from Israel, executed or both. God, however, not only redeemed them to saving faith in Him, but even included (and mentioned) them in the human genealogy of the royal line leading to Jesus.

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My Pastor's reasoning:

There's a pool of hundreds of people that you could "get along with" and "make it work", but only one of them is the perfect match.

I know that's not proof of anything, but it makes sense to me, and it's something to think about.

lambslove said:

I've heard it said, "Don't marry the one you think you can live with, marry the one you don't think you can live without."

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What happens when the one you don't think you can live without marries someone else? Does that than mean they were not your soulmate? Or can you have more than one?

sounds good advice too me

lambslove said:

Beats me. I'm just trying to figure out if the whole idea of soulmates is Biblical.

It would be sad to think that you would miss out on love if your soulmate makes a wrong choice or dies prematurely, wouldn't it.

It reminds me of the story of Tristan and Isolde. Isolde is forced to marry someone she doesn't love, but she and Tristan are true soulmates. Of course, that story is about a magical elixir that they drink to make them true soulmates...and we don't believe in magick...

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From our point of view, I doubt it. I think that the metaphor of God as a parent is quite apt here. I've personally discovered that God often doesn't direct our paths as if there is only one way to go and the greater fool he who tries to divert from that path. More often, He seems to offer the experience of becoming like Christ and then making our own decisions directly in His will precisely because our hearts seek the same kinds of things Christ does. So it is very much like a child growing up in the approving eyes of a parent and making good decisions on their own. I think it is also intricately tied up in the theology of the Kingdom Heart (see Matthew 5, etc).

Granted, if God wants a specific thing to be done, by gum it should be done. Maybe in some cases there is a soulmate and that is where only this "one" would really satisfy God or the disciple in question. But it seems in most cases that if you have the heart and sensitivity of Christ, you will honor God and do well. Just make sure you are a good listener and pay attention to whether there is anything specific God would have you do in some particular situation.

Bedwyr

From reading most of the posts here, it is evident that many have weak or little faith in the direction God has in their lives. My advice is to read the Bible and prayerfully study it on a regular basis.

"Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God." Matthew 22:29

lambslove said:

Beats me. I'm just trying to figure out if the whole idea of soulmates is Biblical.

It would be sad to think that you would miss out on love if your soulmate makes a wrong choice or dies prematurely, wouldn't it.

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I am right there with you, lambslove. I am struggling with this question as well. I had a fellow in my life that just really seemed placed there by God. Things just really seemed to click with him in all the right ways. Than just at the moment when things could have moved forward, he meet someone else and to make a long story short, chose her. I have struggled with the question if he were meant for me, is it possible for him to chose someone else? Or was he just not meant for me in the first place? Were we soulmates? I don't know. But, as I said, things really clicked with him. I don't really understand the whole soulmate thing. I'm not sure I still believe in the "Love conquers all" theory either, but that's another thread.....

Donny_B said:

From reading most of the posts here, it is evident that many have weak or little faith in the direction God has in their lives. My advice is to read the Bible and prayerfully study it on a regular basis.

"Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God." Matthew 22:29

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I could not disagree more. I have a cliff-hangar's faith in God's direction. That's precisely why I have persisted in pursuing certain career and learning paths that, especially in retrospect, are coming together into something specific; possibly a completely unique calling. He has saved my skin on a couple of occasions, answered prayers in a unique way, and done rather incredible things to melt my heart. To tell you the truth, a day does not go by that I don't think and meditate on this and paths I am being led on.

And yet I would still question you whether your choice to become a tax attorney or criminal defense attorney can only be directed one way. Is it not possible that God might work his will under either circumstance? Would it not be conceivable that a person's free choice fit this Will regardless of the direction it goes? Can not either please Him so that he calls either "very good"? I would submit that the answer is yes. I do agree that many times there is a certain, specific path one should follow. And yet many times, I think He would honor the decisions of His child, whose heart beats in time with His own (and of course, would not that be within His will anyhow?).

Bedwyr

I am not sure about the soul mate thing, but I do think there is someone that God is preparing out there for me. So, I guess I do believe it! I believe that while I am preparing to be a good husband, God is preparing my wife. I don't think there is any biblical reference directly connected with this, but I like this verse:

Genesis 2
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

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I believe that this indicates that God prepares a spouse for those people that He plans that they should get married!

I don't know who my wife will be, but I do pray that God will be molding her into the woman of God He wants her to be!

And in reply to Donny_B's post - I disagree too! Check out David, Moses, Abraham, Paul, Peter, John, Ruth and many of the other people in the Bible who God used. Their faith was credited to them as righteousness!!!

I trust in God, my faith is firm in Him, and I believe that He is guiding my life and leading me on and molding me!

But that does not mean that we can't struggle, have doubts or question God!!! Of course we can. When I do that, it only leads to strengthen my faith!

I think we should define soul mate here. The reason I say this is because when I hear soul mate, I hear higher purpose than on this earth. i.e. there is something to that person that is more than in this life. But when I read something like Matthew 22:23-30 it makes me think otherwise. So can we have a definition of soul mate? Does your soulmate have to be the person you marry? What if your soul mate is your best friend of the same sex? What is a soul mate?

wvmtnkid said:

I am right there with you, lambslove. I am struggling with this question as well. I had a fellow in my life that just really seemed placed there by God. Things just really seemed to click with him in all the right ways. Than just at the moment when things could have moved forward, he meet someone else and to make a long story short, chose her. I have struggled with the question if he were meant for me, is it possible for him to chose someone else? Or was he just not meant for me in the first place? Were we soulmates? I don't know. But, as I said, things really clicked with him. I don't really understand the whole soulmate thing. I'm not sure I still believe in the "Love conquers all" theory either, but that's another thread.....

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I've been questioning the same ideas lately. I found a connection with someone, and I even thought God was telling me that he was in my life long term and that we WOULD be together at some point. He's marrying someone else now, unless God wills it otherwise, and I'm trying to figure out where things went wrong. I can pinpoint times when I didn't listen to Him...maybe the guy did the same thing and our combined disobedience is what kept us apart. I don't know; only God can answer those questions. I've also been asking myself, when does free will come into play with stuff like this? Yes, God chooses someone for us to marry, but what if we resist or screw up? Will God somehow make it happen anyway, or does he let us make the mistake of letting the person we were meant to be with walk away forever? Tough stuff, that's for sure....I, for one, am glad I have God to take care of it for me.

lambslove said:

Good questions.

When I think about the word "soulmate" I think of someone who matches your soul, like two socks make a pair. Your soulmate is the one who completes you, in a sense, making you more open to the love of God, more able to serve Him, and more likely to have a prosperous ministry, as well as demonstrating all those illustrations of how marriage is like our relationship with God.

What I DON'T mean is that that single person is able to somehow make you whole emotionally, spiritually, or financially.

A soul-match (for lack of a better word) is not about selfishness or getting your needs met or having good sex. I've heard a lot of celebraties say they had found their soulmate, when what they really meant was they enjoyed sex with that person.

So, soulmate, in my mind, is a person with whom one and one makes more than two.

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Forgive me for playing advocate, but i think this question is key also.

Can soulmate be plural? Can you have more than one soulmate?