Nightmares at being single

Icystwolf · Jul 14, 2003

Ok, I've finally come out to admit it...

I find being single quite joyful. I've never dated, nor have I ever asked a girl out.

But it's really plaging me for so long. Every night, I can say to myself, I'm patient and when the time is ready God shall give me a date, and hence a wife. And being single has it's strengths...

But the nightmares of feeling lonely is now over the top, it's really haunting me.

I mentioned in the other posts, I have a heart that is hard. And opposes practically all the girls I've tried to ask for a date. And when my heart opposes it, I'm totally off.

My nightmares are returning where I'll be single my whole life, and one of my dreams of having Children is shattered, just because my heart is hard.

Right now I'm sitting doing nothing, and the thought comes back saying, "you should have asked her out you fool", and my heart dosen't defend me from that thought.

But during the day, when all is well, these thought don't come out. It's only at night when I self reflect.

I'm wondering if you kind forumners could pray to have this nightmare in me removed in any way possible....

ZiSunka · Jul 14, 2003

I'm 45 and single and it's not the end of the world.

Really. It's great. I am free to do God's will no matter what. You can't imagine how great that is. No matter what He calls me to do, I am available! Even if He were to call me to die, I am available.

In fact, the more I cling to the idea of getting married, the less possible it seems. It's only by giving up my demands to be married that God has sent several eligible, godly, wonderful men my way. I don't know if I'll marry any of them, but I know I am more available to it than I was when I wanted it as bad as you do now.

Life has never been better for me, even when I was married. God has provided for me in every possible way, and has given me challenges that I never thought I could handle alone.

Being single is a blessing, not a curse, no matter what satan tells you.

LifeInYou · Jul 14, 2003

Adonai, Heavenly Father, we come before you in the name of Jesus, we ask Lord that you would give our friend Icystwolf comfort and peace about the decisions he has made with regard to dating. We rebuke the attempts of Satan to cause confusion, dissapointment, and/or nightmares in his thoughts/heart/mind. Lord we understand that all of the worries in our lives have already been sorted out and taken care of in your perfect will. So we lay this situation and your feet and trust that it will be taken care of in your perfect timing. Lord we also pray that if there is someone out there that you desire our friend Icystwolf to be united with, that you would reveal this woman to him, and give him the courage and boldness to be able to appoach her in a manner that would honor you Lord. Thank you God, for a victory over this situation in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

psycmajor · Jul 14, 2003

Well, what keeps you from pursuing these women?

Donny_B · Jul 14, 2003

There are also "nightmares at being married". Paul said that with marriage comes a lot of sorrows, and his wish was that everyone were like he was, single, yet it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Jesus said there would be no marriage in heaven, while there will be marriage on earth up until the coming of the Son of Man, just as in the days of Noah. Rather than marrying, those in heaven will be as the angels.

"For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven." Matthew 22:30

"For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be." Matthew 24: 38-39

ZiSunka · Jul 15, 2003

I know an awful lot of Christians who wish they weren't married, and an awful lot of single Christians that wish they were.

Why is it that we are never satisfied with the blessings of the day that the Lord gives us?

Why do we always feel completely deprived by Him?

Could it possibly be that God knows our needs better than we do?
"Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:32-34

Icystwolf · Jul 15, 2003

lambslove said:
I know an awful lot of Christians who wish they weren't married, and an awful lot of single Christians that wish they were.

Why is it that we are never satisfied with the blessings of the day that the Lord gives us?

Why do we always feel completely deprived by Him?

Could it possibly be that God knows our needs better than we do?
"Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:32-34

Whats best for me, I would think is to be married, else I'd have always the thought of lust. I really hate it when I myself reasons to let it off, rather than hold it together. Which is why I believe I need to marry.

One couple who I kinda envy, are the couple from Canada, currently in HK. The guy told me, he and his wife had never dated ever before, and were full Christians planning to live a single life. And they met at the age of 30, and got married soon afterwards...
I find their marriage and how they hold their family key elements so well, that influenced me to have a family rather than just a wife with no children to hassel me...but ever since I've met their family and their two young daughters...

I really feel like having a family, since 18. I see that as God's works of a flower blooming, or sunrise on the ocean....the family is very beautiful.

And it's the beauty, I'd admire so much, and I want to have..that is giving me nightmares, that others can have families and not admire it. Where as I want a family, because I really feel it's a beautiful creation from God.

Most people at my age think I'm a tad crazy, but I like doing things my own way, rather than convention. I like orchids, peace and meditation. My friends like parties, orgies and alcohol....oh well!

ZiSunka · Jul 15, 2003

God is untimately the one you should look to to either help you cope with your singleness or to find you a mate. If he provides you with one, then His will is for you to be married. If he doesn't, then his will is for you to stay single. If you are really going to live for God's will, you have to be open to both, at least until he shows you that one or the other is his best will for sure.

But don't force God's hand or take for yourself what he wouldn't give to you. There are loads of Biblical examples of the disasters that creates.

In need of god · Jul 16, 2003

man that sucks, were not going to have one being we can be together with forever? I feel gyped now. God doesn't want us to have that unique love with one being in heaven after death or anything? that makes me sad. Sort of takes my hope away

ZiSunka · Jul 16, 2003

Marriage isn't forever, anyway. Jesus said there is no marriage in heaven, so no one who's married now will be married in heaven either, so you won't feel lonely and left out.

In need of god · Jul 16, 2003

ya but why not tho, there should be some joining of people. It sucks in my opinion. This is why its a scary feeling to think I or someone else will never find someone to be with. Sounds like a punishment

Donny_B · Jul 16, 2003

To be totally exact about it, the related scriptures about marriage and heaven do not say that we will not know or recognize or be with spouses (or friends and family members) in heaven, but simply that there will be no new marriages taking place in heaven.

"For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven." Matthew 22:30

Through the scriptures, God has used marriage as a beautiful metaphor for His relationship with His people. Christ is the bridegroom and the Church is the bride. (see Ephesians 5:21-33 and Revelation 19:7-9)

ZiSunka · Jul 16, 2003

Actually, the scriptures say that everyone will know everyone perfectly. There won't be any loneliness because there won't be any strangeness or isolation.

Matthew 22:28 *Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her.
29 *Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.
30 *For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

So not only are there no NEW marriages in heaven, existing marriages are not carried over, either.

In need of god · Jul 16, 2003

that sucks I think, I just want someone I could call my own forever.

ZiSunka · Jul 16, 2003

How about God? He is yours forever!

In need of god · Jul 16, 2003

its not the same in my opinion. Thats a different union. I want someone I dont have to share with anyone else, its a scary feeling for me and I dont like it. Please dont use that "how about god" thing, i'm not mad or anything its just not what I meant and it makes me feel bad

Donny_B · Jul 16, 2003

The exact interactions we have in heaven are a mystery. Surely we will recognize one another. While marriage on earth is until death do us part and as long as we both shall live, God does use the marriage relationship to describe His relationship with His people, which is eternal.

"29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:29-33

Suffice it to say:

"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." I Corinthians 2:9

ZiSunka · Jul 17, 2003

In need of god said:
its not the same in my opinion. Thats a different union. I want someone I dont have to share with anyone else, its a scary feeling for me and I dont like it. Please dont use that "how about god" thing, i'm not mad or anything its just not what I meant and it makes me feel bad

Hey, that's what married people have to do too. Marriage doesn't make your soul satisfied nor does it cure loneliness.

hotknikkels · Jul 17, 2003

Icystwolf - I think it is a gift from God to be single, and also marriage is also a gift from God. Some people are called to be single because God has something better for them - it don't mean that they won't struggle, but they have a great opportunity to be used in a unique way!!!

I also believe that marriage is another opportunity to do amazing things for God, but in a different way. And, yes, marriage is not for ever, but like God says, "It ain't good for man to be alone. He needs a helper!" Maybe that helpful is your wife, maybe it is other friends, but don't isolate yourself either way!

psycmajor · Jul 21, 2003

Icystwolf,

I think you need new friends!

One thing I'll say is this> Just because a woman is "date material" doesn't mean she's "wife material". If you find a date, don't build a whole future with her in our mind without her input.

Nightmares at being single

Well-Known Member

It means 'yellow dog'

a little lamb...*baaaa

self-Banned

Well-Known Member

It means 'yellow dog'

Well-Known Member

It means 'yellow dog'

Active Member

It means 'yellow dog'

Active Member

Well-Known Member

It means 'yellow dog'

Active Member

It means 'yellow dog'

Active Member

Well-Known Member

It means 'yellow dog'

™Barbarian Christian™

self-Banned

Similar threads