Why do I bother?
Because God made me. If He created me, there has to be a reason to it. I'm not a mistake. I'm not here just for the heck of it.
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
Psalms 139:13-16
God knew me waaaay before my birth date. He even knew everything I would do! What's going to happen tomorrow, He already knows! And He makes everything work out in the end. So all the bad stuff that happens today, I'm convinced He's going to have something good come from it. I've lived that expierence.
Don't give up. Don't stop trying. God has things planned for you, if you'll let Him do it. I wanted to give up. I came really close to giving up. But then God pulled me out of that and showed me all the good that He had come from the all my bad stuff. It really is amazing. But He can't show you the good stuff, if you end everything at the bad stuff. He's here to help us. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." That doesn't mean things will be easy, but they'll be easier because He's there helping you thorugh it. And it's not easy to rely on Him all the time. But thingd are so much better if you do.
If you want to talk, feel free to PM me. I'll tell you all the awesome things God's done for me out of my bad past and bad circumstances.