I am being sued!

Gabriel

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And so are you.........

BY GEORGE FLEENOR
The Houston Post
Monday April 14, 2003

In an effort to combat the backlash against him, actor Martin Sheen has filed a lawsuit against the American people. Citing "Restrain of Trade", Mr. Sheen claims that an active boycott has damaged him both professionally and financially. "The West Wing has tanked in the ratings, they've pulled a few of my commercials and now many of my other opportunities have begun to dry up", Mr. Sheen said recently. "All because I was exercising my First Amendment Rights", he noted.
To compensate for his dwindling assets, the Actor turned Activist has filed an $850 million dollar lawsuit against the citizens of the United States. "This will send a message to every American... Fascism will not be tolerated in this country", said Ida Leech, Mr. Sheens attorney. "Martin Sheen has every right to protest this illegal war in Iraq and in no way should he suffer for actively participating in his Constitutionally mandated right to peaceable assembly", she continued.

Ms. Leech believes the outcome of this lawsuit will prove favorable to her and her client, stating that "Martin has enter into a sort of 'social contract' with the American people; in exchange for the comfort and entertainment many folks receive from this gifted actor, Mr. Sheen has been rightfully compensated for his efforts. However, the actions of a few right-wing nut jobs have, in essence, broken that contract between the actor and the people; which, of course, is tantamount to 'tortuous interference' ", she explained. "These people have no right to meddle with my clients chosen profession nor do they have the right to disrupt the lifestyle with which he has grown accustomed to", she continued.

When questioned about the hefty amount of damages he was seeking, the Actor replied that, "It's not about the money; it's about justice, it's about what's right and what's wrong, it's about reminding Americans that this is the land of the free". "Besides", he said "We're only talking about $3 dollars per person. That's $3 dollars for every man, woman and child that lives in the United States. A small price to pay for justice if you ask me". His attorney also addressed the reasons for, basically, suing everyone in United States; explaining that, "While there are many Americans that agree with Mr. Sheens point of view, the problems with identifying those individuals would be a tremendous expense. And I'm confident that those people would be more than willing to offer up their $3 dollars so that our message can be successfully delivered".

Later, when asked if he believed people had the right to choose their own purchases ( i.e. which movies they go see, which television shows they watch or which music they decide to listen to); Mr. Sheen complained that, "This is the number one problem with a free market economy; the actions of a few hate filled Nazis have managed to crush the dreams and aspirations of one simple, peace-loving actor". "But", he added "Reorganizing the economic landscape of this fine country is a battle which must be waged later. One thing at a time, my friend; one thing at a time".


Originally posted at freeconservatives.com
 
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WayneH

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That was too much - I'm surprised no one has tried this before - they now want to tell us what we can or can't watch :sleep:

Hey wait - doesn't that mean the Dixie chickies will sue now?? We threw away their records and tickets to concerts - I would think we are hindering their lifestyle even more..
 
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loribee59

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That may be funny NOW, but what if it COULD happen? To pay MY taxes to support the performer's cushy lifestyle, and to pay for its right to speak up in things I don't believe or support is...LUDICROUS.

Yeah, let's see if he can sue the American people for the loss of his job...

HA!

~loribee59 :p
 
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paulewog

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This is kinda like sueing MacDonald's 'cause you were stupid enough to drop your coffee on yourself, which was hot.

Problem is, didn't the person that sued win? :p

Crazy people.

I wonder if I can sue my city for not giving me any money, thus inhibiting my quality of life?
 
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