What were your expectations as a new Christian?

I fully realized that my conscience is a flawed and limited guide for living. The Lord’s Gospel made me realize I needed His truth for everlasting life and daily living.

On a basic & sensible level, the Lord’s commandments, to me, confirm how I need to live life, treat others, & be law abiding ( see Matthew 22:36-40, Matthew 7:1-12, Matthew 19:16-19, Romans 13:1-14 etc.).

I understand that I am still deeply flawed & subject to sin ( 1 John 1:5-10 etc.). The Lord wants us to be charitable & pray for ourselves & others ( see Matthew 6:1-13, 1 Timothy 2:1-6). He wants us, in some way, to help spread the Gospel; at least as part of charity and prayer ( see Matthew 9:36-38). I don’t claim to be a worthy evangelist.

The Lord wants us to know Him as God and Savior & to live by faith in Him ( John 3:16-21, Ephesians 2:8-10 etc).He wants us to have a sound understanding of our faith. Christians have a lot of variances; personally I don’t know every precise truth but I believe cooperation is necessary. I believe careful reading for ex. of Philippians 2:1-30, Colossians 1:1-29 are helpful in this.

-When you first became a Christian, what did you expect life in the church to be like?
Opening and warm but instructional re: teachings of Jesus and how to apply these to modern life

-What were your hopes or assumptions about how things would go?
Not sure I understand this question, sorry!

-What was your first experience with the church community?
I walked in one evening, sat down and listened to the sermon.

-Did those expectations match reality, or were there surprises?
I am often surprised by the attitudes of fellow churchgoers towards volunteers.
I was surprised that the church taught so much love but not about repentance and sin

-How do you feel now about your place in the church?
I still don't know! I'm trying to figure that out

Jermayn said:

-When you first became a Christian, what did you expect life in the church to be like?

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I'm not sure, to be honest. I started going to church as a young adult who already had faith, and was looking for "more" than I had experienced in personal, private prayer and Bible reading. I found that "more," but it was a very mixed bag! (This kind of covers your next question, too).

Jermayn said:

-What was your first experience with the church community?

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I went to an Anglican parish that (I didn't realise at the time) was quite low church and charismatic. On the one hand, there were real strengths, such as the valuing of the gifts of all the members, and seeing the whole church as active participants in the church's life and mission. On the other hand, there were real weaknesses, as well; it was quite an unhealthy place in some ways, and I ended up leaving due to the really limited opportunities for women.

Jermayn said:

-How do you feel now about your place in the church?

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Now, nearly thirty years on from those first visits, I think I have a much more realistic view of the church as a deeply flawed and compromised institution, through which God still works. I've also been able to find ways to grow, contribute, and pursue my own sense of vocation (these days I work in a mix of hospital chaplaincy and parish ministry as a priest). I think the key thing is to look to God, and be discerning about what the church offers.

I didn't know what to expect. When I became Christian, I was going through a divorce, had the flu, was out of work and was going to lose the home I was paying off to the bank. I thought "there has to be more to life than this", and it was in that situation that I became Christian.

I've already said this elsewhere, but at that time the 1982 Commonwealth Games were on in Brisbane, Australia. I don't normally watch sport but since I had the flu and couldn't do anything anyway, I ended up watching quite a bit of the games.

But as I did this image of the local Presbyterian Church where I'd had bit of Sunday school years before kept intruding into my mind. It was very persistent, and I eventually decided I'd better go. So I did and a few weeks later I made a commitment.

I didn't know what to expect, but I soon gravitated to the main church in the parish where there were more young people, I got to know the pastor in paricular over a period of time although it wasn't immediate. I remember being at a ten pin bowls night and the parish assistant said to me "Don't you know yet that he (the pastor) is a real character??!" At that point I hardly knew him but I soon became better acquainted.

So, no, I didn't know what to expect. Years later I became Catholic, but I still have good memories of that particular Presbyterian congregation, not because they were "Presbyterian" but because of the quality of the people.

And I learnt a lot in a short time.

Jermayn said:

Looking back on your early life as a Christian, do you feel like you received the support you needed from the church and church leadership? Since you said you left due to limited opportunity, it sounds like that is a no, but I don't want to assume.

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In some ways, they were very good. For example, I can remember being given support with food when I didn't have enough money to pay my rent and eat, as a student.

But in other ways, there were problems. Not just the sexism - although that was a big problem - but really unsafe attitudes around mental illness, for example.

Jermayn said:

As a leader now, do you feel like any expectations you had in your earlier Christian life were unreasonable? Or perhaps the opposite. Do you feel like you should have expected more from God, the Church, other Christians, etc.?

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In recent years, I've found myself saying to my supervisor, that I didn't expect being in the church to be easy, but I expected it to be fair (in the way that I was treated). I have not found that to be the case.

I don't necessarily think it was an unreasonable expectation, but it's clear that it's one the church is not at all equipped to meet, at the moment. And I've had to make my peace with that.

Jermayn said:

Do those early experiences shape the way you minister as a Church leader today, specifically when dealing with new or young Christians?

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I hope so. One of the things that I think people in the church tend to do, is assume that new Christians should think, act, feel, in particular ways. That's often not the case, and I hope that I have learned (and am trying to model to others) that each person's walk with God is their own, and we can't try to force them to fit into our preconceptions. And we need to give them the freedom to make their own choices, without being manipulative or coercive or shaming them for it.

Jermayn said:

Looking to get a little more insight from multiple people from multiple backgrounds on this. Thank you in advance to anyone who responds.

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I'm not sure if I can help, but I'll answer

-When you first became a Christian, what did you expect life in the church to be like?

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Everyone helps everyone, everyone is kind, caring and trustworthy.

-What were your hopes or assumptions about how things would go?

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Warm/ Fuzzy/ Bunny land. I figured that nothing would be hard, and life would be fairly simple.

-What was your first experience with the church community?

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I grew up in a non-denominational church so my first experience, I would say I was too young to form an opinion. If issues came up, I just assumed that's how things went. I also didn't look to much into anything and didn't question anything either.

-Did those expectations match reality, or were there surprises?

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Polar opposite. I found most people to be hypocritical, self-righteous, egotistical, arrogant and cold-hearted. I also found that life is harder when you follow Christ lol but it's well worth it.

-How do you feel now about your place in the church?

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I left the "church" in the scheme of a physical building where people congregate. I've tried several others but I haven't found a single church where actions back up what is being taught and I'm not the type of person that will let something like hypocrisy slide. We can disagree on theology on smaller issues but if the church is run by hypocrites, I'm out. I am aware though that it's most likely due to where I live. I kind of feel like I live in a city with a perpetual dark atmosphere. I am trying to move out of this state and I'm hoping and praying God is leading me to a better place.

Jermayn said:

To follow up on question 2, think of it as asking what you're expectations where as a new Christian. Were you expecting your life to get easier or harder? Were you expecting your family and friends to act or treat you differently? Did you expect a certain amount of support from your church or other Christians in general? Did you have an expectation on how other Christians would/should act or treat you? How did it all pan out for you?

What do you mean by being suprised by the attitudes of fellow churchgoers toward volunteers? Was it negative or positive?

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Were you expecting your life to get easier or harder? I expected my life to get much, much harder

Were you expecting your family and friends to act or treat you differently? Yes and not in a positive way

Did you expect a certain amount of support from your church or other Christians in general? I'm not sure .... I think I expected a kinship and I'm not sure if I have found that yet

Did you have an expectation on how other Christians would/should act or treat you? How did it all pan out for you? I thought they would be very welcoming and understanding and friendly and, in some ways they have been and, in other ways, they are very strange! I do not know if this is a local thing or what?

What do you mean by being suprised by the attitudes of fellow churchgoers toward volunteers? Was it negative or positive? Negative. I thought as Christians and members of the same church, they would treat volunteers with respect but they are often rude and demand things as though we are hired in help. I am considering quitting my position for this reason.

Jermayn said:

-When you first became a Christian, what did you expect life in the church to be like?

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I'm not sure I am clear enough on when I first became a Christian, having grown up around churches and having several "return to Jesus" moments...but as an adult I pretty much expected little difference from any other social organization with a mixed body.

Jermayn said:

-What were your hopes or assumptions about how things would go?

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I assumed that there would be a mix of people I connected with and people I'd rather not be around.

Jermayn said:

-What was your first experience with the church community?

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I've always been a bit invisible, only really engaging with church leadership

Jermayn said:

-Did those expectations match reality, or were there surprises?

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Yeah

Jermayn said:

-How do you feel now about your place in the church?

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I'd like to be more "plugged in" but I am also hesitant given the strong opinions that people tend to hold.

Jermayn said:

-When you first became a Christian, what did you expect life in the church to be like?

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Hello Jermayn, I didn't really have any specific expectations for church life when I finally became a believer (at 30 yrs old), I was just on Cloud 9 about well, everything , knowing that He had just forgiven me of/saved me from all of my many sins, as well as His lifting off the unbearable weight of the guilt that I felt because of them. So, I didn't know what to expect, I just knew that I wanted to be as close to God and His people as I could be, and as often as I could be too.

I suppose that it seemed like going on vacation to a wondrous new place (one that I'd heard a lot about but had never seen), not knowing exactly what to expect, but knowing enough to be very excited about all the wonderful things that I sensed lay ahead (and now, 39+ years later, I'm still excited and even more amazed, and still waiting with great expectation to see what's just around the next corner in my walk with Him)

Jermayn said:

-What were your hopes or assumptions about how things would go?

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Again, I really didn't have any specific ones, other than I was sure that whatever was coming my way would be wonderful because of Him. I remember not being able to wait to tell people either, until I discovered how few people wanted to hear, that is, as well as how much most people (among the ones who didn't want to hear) REALLY didn't want to hear

Jermayn said:

-What was your first experience with the church community?

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I came to saving faith late on a Sunday night (11/2/86) after returning home from a business trip, so my very first "church community" experience was at a Bible study on the following Thursday evening (with the senior pastor and some of the members of the church that I was about to join). This study included one of the two people who were most influential in helping me find Him and come to saving faith in Him, an employee of mine, actually, who was on her way to becoming one of my denomination's overseas missionaries at the time.

Jermayn said:

-Did those expectations match reality, or were there surprises?

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I didn't know what to expect (as I said earlier) but I can't remember much of anything from back then that I would have felt "let down" about if I had had some specific expectations. Everything about church life just seemed wonderful to me, and looking back, I wouldn't change a thing (I was just thankful and grateful to God for all of it).

Actually, I was more than just a bit surprised by the reaction that I got from my family members, close friends and colleagues when I told them what had happened to me. It was FAR more negative than I expected it to be in many (or perhaps in most) cases (and that part was pretty tough actually).

God bless you!!

--David

Jermayn said:

Looking to get a little more insight from multiple people from multiple backgrounds on this. Thank you in advance to anyone who responds.

-When you first became a Christian, what did you expect life in the church to be like?

-What were your hopes or assumptions about how things would go?

-What was your first experience with the church community?

-Did those expectations match reality, or were there surprises?

-How do you feel now about your place in the church?

Click to expand...

At the age of 17 and being naive about my new found Christian faith as it was at that time, I remember expecting folks to be a little kinder, a little more willing to have a mutual conversation with another person, and a little more intelligent. From day one of walking into a more 'rural style' Southern Baptist Church during my first year of faith, I didn't find more kindness or mutuality or intelligence. But I stayed there for a year or so because one of my best friends was a member of that church and he served as a connection that I had nowhere else in my life.

Fortunately, 6 months into my new found faith, I read one of C.S. Lewis' books and he made a point that shaped my view about other Christians going forward: that it's really too much for me to expect to walk into any church and find a perfect group of people to worship with since no one is perfect and their foibles (or sins) don't necessarily prove that their faith is somehow a joke.

Ever since then, I've tried to keep my bar of expectation fairly low............................... and being existential in my Christian faith helps me to assume that people are human beings who often face vast personal struggles in life first, and that they are Christian in their human attempts to deal with those struggles, second.