Newbie here. I'd like to ask for some advice.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel · Mar 28, 2023

First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I feel it's easier to have serious discussions in a forum like this rather than a place like Reddit since that website can often become toxic.

Also, I apologize in advance. This might be a long post.

My journey to Christianity is probably not an uncommon one, but it was a long road that I'm still travelling on. I didn't come from a particularly religious family. My father was raised Catholic and my mother Protestant. We didn't attend church, even on holidays. My mother was certainly more spiritual than the rest of us and often turned to God in times of need and safety. Regardless, both of my parents are wonderful people and did an incredible job raising my brothers and I and I strive to raise my own children as good as they did

When I was a child, I would pray to God each night before bed. I decided on my own to do this and I have no idea why but it was strangely comforting to me. Unfortunately, when I reached my teens and then into my 20s, I became very antagonistic towards religion and my mistake was overvaluing the negatives and undervaluing the positives. In other words, I focused too much on the bad things done in the name of religion (bigotry, wars etc.) and ignored the positives (community, charity, comfort etc.) Despite this, I was never an atheist even though many of my friends were. The idea of atheism never sat well with me. At best, I suppose I could be described as a Deist at that point in my life.

I'm now approaching middle age with a wife and two beautiful children and within the past couple of years I've had a strong urge to explore faith more deeply, Customs and traditions I may have ridiculed as an early 20-something I now have deep respect for and wish to participate in. I suppose that's what growing up does to a person, especially after having children and witnessing the miracle of life God produces first hand.

I consider myself a Christian because I accept Jesus Christ as the son of God and our savior. But I also feel phony about it. I've yet to attend church (mostly because I'm unsure of what denomination I'd fit in). A little while ago, I began reading the Bible each night, starting at Genesis which may or may not have been the best way to start but I am striving to learn.

If it's ok, I'd like to solicit some advice on how to continue this journey:

How can I choose which denomination and church fits best for me?

Would it be preferable if I start reading the Bible at the Gospels rather than from the beginning, or start somewhere else?

What are some things I can do in my life to be a better Christian and servant to God?

Again, I apologize for the long post and I appreciate any input. Thanks!

ecumeni · Mar 29, 2023

Go where the Spirit leads you.

studentinprayer · Mar 29, 2023

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I feel it's easier to have serious discussions in a forum like this rather than a place like Reddit since that website can often become toxic.

Also, I apologize in advance. This might be a long post.

My journey to Christianity is probably not an uncommon one, but it was a long road that I'm still travelling on. I didn't come from a particularly religious family. My father was raised Catholic and my mother Protestant. We didn't attend church, even on holidays. My mother was certainly more spiritual than the rest of us and often turned to God in times of need and safety. Regardless, both of my parents are wonderful people and did an incredible job raising my brothers and I and I strive to raise my own children as good as they did

When I was a child, I would pray to God each night before bed. I decided on my own to do this and I have no idea why but it was strangely comforting to me. Unfortunately, when I reached my teens and then into my 20s, I became very antagonistic towards religion and my mistake was overvaluing the negatives and undervaluing the positives. In other words, I focused too much on the bad things done in the name of religion (bigotry, wars etc.) and ignored the positives (community, charity, comfort etc.) Despite this, I was never an atheist even though many of my friends were. The idea of atheism never sat well with me. At best, I suppose I could be described as a Deist at that point in my life.

I'm now approaching middle age with a wife and two beautiful children and within the past couple of years I've had a strong urge to explore faith more deeply, Customs and traditions I may have ridiculed as an early 20-something I now have deep respect for and wish to participate in. I suppose that's what growing up does to a person, especially after having children and witnessing the miracle of life God produces first hand.

I consider myself a Christian because I accept Jesus Christ as the son of God and our savior. But I also feel phony about it. I've yet to attend church (mostly because I'm unsure of what denomination I'd fit in). A little while ago, I began reading the Bible each night, starting at Genesis which may or may not have been the best way to start but I am striving to learn.

If it's ok, I'd like to solicit some advice on how to continue this journey:

How can I choose which denomination and church fits best for me?

Would it be preferable if I start reading the Bible at the Gospels rather than from the beginning, or start somewhere else?

What are some things I can do in my life to be a better Christian and servant to God?

Again, I apologize for the long post and I appreciate any input. Thanks!

Hmm, chances are your beliefs will evolve still so trying to find the right denomination at this stage is likely busy-work keeping you from what matters(embracing having a relationship with the Holy Spirit). I'd say finding a local church is a great start point as will be a 'christian mens group' and/or 'bible study'. You can always try searching 'community church' or 'non-denominational' as these will be likely to have others with similar experiences. I have never found, even in visiting churches considered very fundamentalist and non-welcoming to outsiders that one's level of Christianity or specific theological positions comes up in a confrontational way unless your a bully about it to others. So it's actually quite easy to explore and you'll find you're far from the only one doing so.

Most churches have specific regular days with a 'welcome lunch' after a certain Sunday\Saturday service you can find on their websites. Catholic/orthodox can be a bit more formal/unfamiliar if you haven't grown up in them, so if that's the local church you might consider asking to talk to priest before just showing up(but they do all the same things). These meetings with a clergy man don't need to be formal. I assure you they are happy to just meet a fellow Christian and ask and answer questions as they arise.

In terms of learning, if you are just reading the bible for the first time: I'd suggest just an audio-version so you can sit back and listen to the stories. And after listening find different online sermons, podcasts or lecture series on that book/chapter. One's early focus in my opinion would be genesis & the 4 Gospels. You want to know the stories/parables. You'll find a huge push toward the letters of Paul, but I don't find them helpful until you start seeing the problems of being in a church for a longtime as they are not directed at everyone. Most of the old testament, is firstly hard to get good commentary on and secondly often requires much more historical context to get great meaning from.So I encoruge people to read, but warn it will often not be as meaningful as Genesis & the 4 Gospels.

Last comment, would just be to include your family as much as they are willing. Church-life is secondary to keeping a christian household. The core of it all is something you've already started but still feels so new: your prayer life.

Another great fun little thing is to incorporate praise music into your life (especially one's based on the psalms). Huge missing piece of secular life is not taking time to appreciate beauty.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel · Mar 29, 2023

studentinprayer said:
Hmm, chances are your beliefs will evolve still so trying to find the right denomination at this stage is likely busy-work keeping you from what matters(embracing having a relationship with the Holy Spirit). I'd say finding a local church is a great start point as will be a 'christian mens group' and/or 'bible study'. You can always try searching 'community church' or 'non-denominational' as these will be likely to have others with similar experiences. I have never found, even in visiting churches considered very fundamentalist and non-welcoming to outsiders that one's level of Christianity or specific theological positions comes up in a confrontational way unless your a bully about it to others. So it's actually quite easy to explore and you'll find you're far from the only one doing so.

Most churches have specific regular days with a 'welcome lunch' after a certain Sunday\Saturday service you can find on their websites. Catholic/orthodox can be a bit more formal/unfamiliar if you haven't grown up in them, so if that's the local church you might consider asking to talk to priest before just showing up(but they do all the same things). These meetings with a clergy man don't need to be formal. I assure you they are happy to just meet a fellow Christian and ask and answer questions as they arise.

In terms of learning, if you are just reading the bible for the first time: I'd suggest just an audio-version so you can sit back and listen to the stories. And after listening find different online sermons, podcasts or lecture series on that book/chapter. One's early focus in my opinion would be genesis & the 4 Gospels. You want to know the stories/parables. You'll find a huge push toward the letters of Paul, but I don't find them helpful until you start seeing the problems of being in a church for a longtime as they are not directed at everyone. Most of the old testament, is firstly hard to get good commentary on and secondly often requires much more historical context to get great meaning from.So I encoruge people to read, but warn it will often not be as meaningful as Genesis & the 4 Gospels.

Last comment, would just be to include your family as much as they are willing. Church-life is secondary to keeping a christian household. The core of it all is something you've already started but still feels so new: your prayer life.

Another great fun little thing is to incorporate praise music into your life (especially one's based on the psalms). Huge missing piece of secular life is not taking time to appreciate beauty.

Thank you so much. I appreciate all your advice. The two churches closest to me are Methodist and Lutheran. As I understand it (and I might be wrong) Lutheran services are closer to those in Catholic churches and Methodists are more informal. I might start with attending a service at the Methodist church and go from there or just try out both. Thanks again!

Soyeong · Mar 29, 2023

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I feel it's easier to have serious discussions in a forum like this rather than a place like Reddit since that website can often become toxic.

Hello and welcome!

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
I'm now approaching middle age with a wife and two beautiful children and within the past couple of years I've had a strong urge to explore faith more deeply, Customs and traditions I may have ridiculed as an early 20-something I now have deep respect for and wish to participate in. I suppose that's what growing up does to a person, especially after having children and witnessing the miracle of life God produces first hand.

It is good that you have the urge to explore faith more deeply, though now that you are married with children, you do need to consider how that will impact your family. For example, by refraining from following old customs and traditions and by adopting new ones, you are becoming a different person that your wife did not expect you to become when she got married to you, so having her support in this important if possible, however, if she has the same stance towards religion that you used to have, then this can be a source of tension or conflict, which can be exasperated by disagreements about what to teach your children or whether to bring them to church. If you do not have her support in this, then it might be worth it to have a marriage counselor help you work through these sorts of changes.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
I consider myself a Christian because I accept Jesus Christ as the son of God and our savior. But I also feel phony about it. I've yet to attend church (mostly because I'm unsure of what denomination I'd fit in). A little while ago, I began reading the Bible each night, starting at Genesis which may or may not have been the best way to start but I am striving to learn.

If it's ok, I'd like to solicit some advice on how to continue this journey:

How can I choose which denomination and church fits best for me?

You are not a phony just because you are still figuring out where to go. I firmly believe that we can learn much of value from a teacher even if there are other areas where we strongly disagree with them, so pretty much any denomination is going to teach you things that are valuable for you to learn, so I wouldn't let uncertainty about which denomination to join prevent you from testing out the churches in your local area. Denominations are more or less just a way of grouping people who interpret the Bible in a similar manner, though there can still be a variety of churches even within a denomination, so figuring out which denomination to join is something that you can figure out later as you become more familiar with the differences between them. So start testing out churches in your area until you find one that resonates with you. A number of the beliefs that I hold today have changed from what they were ten years ago, and tens years ago I had a number of beliefs that had changed from ten years before that, so we are all on a journey, and where we end up might not be the same denomination that we were part of when we first became a Christian, but we can't look back at the end of our journey and say that the first parts of our journey were unnecessary because they prepared us for where we were at that point in time.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
Would it be preferable if I start reading the Bible at the Gospels rather than from the beginning, or start somewhere else?

The NT authors quoted or alluded to the OT thousands of times in order to support what they were saying and in order to establish that they hadn't departed from it, so the NT is deeply rooted in the OT. Whenever the NT quotes or alludes to the OT it can often be a good idea to go back and read the whole chapter that it is quoting from. Starting with reading the Gospels rather than from the beginning might be like reading starting with reading the third book in a trilogy that is culmination of what was said in the first two books. Yes, the Gospels are important to know and there is an extent that they can be understood on their own, but there is still an important context that is missing without understanding the the OT.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
What are some things I can do in my life to be a better Christian and servant to God?

Again, I apologize for the long post and I appreciate any input. Thanks!

I'd recommend listening to the BEMA podcast, which works its way through the Bible starting in Genesis with an awareness of its cultural context. In in on order to become a better servant of God we need to first learn about the nature of who God is, which is revealed through His actions, promises, and commands, and then live in a way that expresses, experiences, loves, believes in, and testifies about the nature of who He is.

zoidar · Mar 29, 2023

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I feel it's easier to have serious discussions in a forum like this rather than a place like Reddit since that website can often become toxic.

Also, I apologize in advance. This might be a long post.

My journey to Christianity is probably not an uncommon one, but it was a long road that I'm still travelling on. I didn't come from a particularly religious family. My father was raised Catholic and my mother Protestant. We didn't attend church, even on holidays. My mother was certainly more spiritual than the rest of us and often turned to God in times of need and safety. Regardless, both of my parents are wonderful people and did an incredible job raising my brothers and I and I strive to raise my own children as good as they did

When I was a child, I would pray to God each night before bed. I decided on my own to do this and I have no idea why but it was strangely comforting to me. Unfortunately, when I reached my teens and then into my 20s, I became very antagonistic towards religion and my mistake was overvaluing the negatives and undervaluing the positives. In other words, I focused too much on the bad things done in the name of religion (bigotry, wars etc.) and ignored the positives (community, charity, comfort etc.) Despite this, I was never an atheist even though many of my friends were. The idea of atheism never sat well with me. At best, I suppose I could be described as a Deist at that point in my life.

I'm now approaching middle age with a wife and two beautiful children and within the past couple of years I've had a strong urge to explore faith more deeply, Customs and traditions I may have ridiculed as an early 20-something I now have deep respect for and wish to participate in. I suppose that's what growing up does to a person, especially after having children and witnessing the miracle of life God produces first hand.

I consider myself a Christian because I accept Jesus Christ as the son of God and our savior. But I also feel phony about it. I've yet to attend church (mostly because I'm unsure of what denomination I'd fit in). A little while ago, I began reading the Bible each night, starting at Genesis which may or may not have been the best way to start but I am striving to learn.

If it's ok, I'd like to solicit some advice on how to continue this journey:

How can I choose which denomination and church fits best for me?

Would it be preferable if I start reading the Bible at the Gospels rather than from the beginning, or start somewhere else?

What are some things I can do in my life to be a better Christian and servant to God?

Again, I apologize for the long post and I appreciate any input. Thanks!

Start with the Gospels, that's the basic. Church/denomination? Basically any church that takes the Bible and the walk with God seriously, where there is a warm atmosphere, and genuine believers. Avoid the very liberal churches, or you might find yourself going in the opposite direction than you desire.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel · Mar 29, 2023

Soyeong said:
Hello and welcome!

It is good that you have the urge to explore faith more deeply, though now that you are married with children, you do need to consider how that will impact your family. For example, by refraining from following old customs and traditions and by adopting new ones, you are becoming a different person that your wife did not expect you to become when she got married to you, so having her support in this important if possible, however, if she has the same stance towards religion that you used to have, then this can be a source of tension or conflict, which can be exasperated by disagreements about what to teach your children or whether to bring them to church. If you do not have her support in this, then it might be worth it to have a marriage counselor help you work through these sorts of changes.

You are not a phony just because you are still figuring out where to go. I firmly believe that we can learn much of value from a teacher even if there are other areas where we strongly disagree with them, so pretty much any denomination is going to teach you things that are valuable for you to learn, so I wouldn't let uncertainty about which denomination to join prevent you from testing out the churches in your local area. Denominations are more or less just a way of grouping people who interpret the Bible in a similar manner, though there can still be a variety of churches even within a denomination, so figuring out which denomination to join is something that you can figure out later as you become more familiar with the differences between them. So start testing out churches in your area until you find one that resonates with you. A number of the beliefs that I hold today have changed from what they were ten years ago, and tens years ago I had a number of beliefs that had changed from ten years before that, so we are all on a journey, and where we end up might not be the same denomination that we were part of when we first became a Christian, but we can't look back at the end of our journey and say that the first parts of our journey were unnecessary because they prepared us for where we were at that point in time.

The NT authors quoted or alluded to the OT thousands of times in order to support what they were saying and in order to establish that they hadn't departed from it, so the NT is deeply rooted in the OT. Whenever the NT quotes or alludes to the OT it can often be a good idea to go back and read the whole chapter that it is quoting from. Starting with reading the Gospels rather than from the beginning might be like reading starting with reading the third book in a trilogy that is culmination of what was said in the first two books. Yes, the Gospels are important to know and there is an extent that they can be understood on their own, but there is still an important context that is missing without understanding the the OT.

I'd recommend listening to the BEMA podcast, which works its way through the Bible starting in Genesis with an awareness of its cultural context. In in on order to become a better servant of God we need to first learn about the nature of who God is, which is revealed through His actions, promises, and commands, and then live in a way that expresses, experiences, loves, believes in, and testifies about the nature of who He is.

Appreciate the advice and your comments about my family. It's actually an odd predicament. My wife is Japanese. We met when I was living in Japan teaching English. Like most Japanese, she's Shinto but not much of a believer. I've discussed attending church with her and she's not hostile to it or anything but she's under the impression that she would be out of place and judged for not knowing much about Christianity. She was actually surprised when I brought it up since I've not one to talk about religion much. We decided I would attend by myself at first and "report back" so to speak. Since she doesn't know anyone here in the US outside my family, I've emphasized to her that church could be a great place to meet other parents and engage more in the community. It might be a tough nut to crack but I'm willing to try and she seems at least open to the idea. I would love to eventually bring my whole family.

BurningBush84 · Mar 29, 2023

I'd pick a church that believes in the doctrine of verbal inspiration.

ViaCrucis · Mar 29, 2023

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I feel it's easier to have serious discussions in a forum like this rather than a place like Reddit since that website can often become toxic.

Also, I apologize in advance. This might be a long post.

My journey to Christianity is probably not an uncommon one, but it was a long road that I'm still travelling on. I didn't come from a particularly religious family. My father was raised Catholic and my mother Protestant. We didn't attend church, even on holidays. My mother was certainly more spiritual than the rest of us and often turned to God in times of need and safety. Regardless, both of my parents are wonderful people and did an incredible job raising my brothers and I and I strive to raise my own children as good as they did

When I was a child, I would pray to God each night before bed. I decided on my own to do this and I have no idea why but it was strangely comforting to me. Unfortunately, when I reached my teens and then into my 20s, I became very antagonistic towards religion and my mistake was overvaluing the negatives and undervaluing the positives. In other words, I focused too much on the bad things done in the name of religion (bigotry, wars etc.) and ignored the positives (community, charity, comfort etc.) Despite this, I was never an atheist even though many of my friends were. The idea of atheism never sat well with me. At best, I suppose I could be described as a Deist at that point in my life.

I'm now approaching middle age with a wife and two beautiful children and within the past couple of years I've had a strong urge to explore faith more deeply, Customs and traditions I may have ridiculed as an early 20-something I now have deep respect for and wish to participate in. I suppose that's what growing up does to a person, especially after having children and witnessing the miracle of life God produces first hand.

I consider myself a Christian because I accept Jesus Christ as the son of God and our savior. But I also feel phony about it. I've yet to attend church (mostly because I'm unsure of what denomination I'd fit in). A little while ago, I began reading the Bible each night, starting at Genesis which may or may not have been the best way to start but I am striving to learn.

If it's ok, I'd like to solicit some advice on how to continue this journey:

How can I choose which denomination and church fits best for me?

Oh that's a tough one. And the difficulty here is that most of us are going to be biased toward our own denominations and traditions. I'm Lutheran, for example, and so naturally I think Lutheranism is not only the best fit for me, but for anyone--but that's my bias. And it seems a little disingenuous if I were to pretend like I was neutral and objective in suggesting that.

Here's where I think a good start would be for you: You mentioned your parents weren't particularly religious, but that your dad was Catholic and mom Protestant, do you know what kind of Protestant? That's where I think you should start looking--look into and explore Catholicism and your mother's Protestant tradition. At the very least that is a starting point for exploration.

I, personally, grew up in a religious household, my family at first went to a non-denominational church, and later a Pentecostal one. But due to the trajectory my life took, I became Lutheran. Things like that happen. So start where you might be most familiar, and just explore, ask questions. For example, here on Christian Forums there are boards dedicated specifically to different denominations/traditions of Christianity, there is a dedicated Catholic board, a dedicated Lutheran board, a dedicated Baptist board, etc. You are completely welcome to visit those boards and ask questions, I know many of the Catholic posters are more than happy to answer whatever questions you might have about Catholicism. Same with us Lutherans over in our space.

And don't be afraid to visit churches. Any decent church is happy to receive visitors, and clergy love to answer questions for those who are seeking, exploring. Visiting and experiencing the service doesn't require you to make any commitments, you are free to simply be there and see what's happening.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
Would it be preferable if I start reading the Bible at the Gospels rather than from the beginning, or start somewhere else?

Most will agree that starting with the Gospels is the best thing to do when first getting into the Bible seriously. Though there will be different opinions about which Gospel to start with, there are four Gospels after all.

Whenever someone asks me how they should start reading the Bible here is what I suggest: Start with the Gospel of Luke. The reason why I recommend Luke is for a couple reasons, Luke is a pretty easy to understand and follow along Gospel. But also because the author of Luke wrote a sequel, the Acts of the Apostles. Many scholars in fact speak of the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles as a two-part work referring to it as "Luke-Acts". Where the Gospel of Luke ends, the Acts of the Apostles picks up, and it tells the story and activites (the acts) of Jesus' Apostles after His resurrection and ascension, it's how Christianity started. The Acts of the Apostles also introduces a reader of the Bible to St. Paul the Apostle, who plays a huge role in the Acts and is also the most prolific writer of the New Testament. Paul wrote 13 of the 27 books which make up the New Testament. Which means that by the time you have finished reading the Acts of the Apostles, you can read Paul's Letter to the Romans, a letter he wrote to the Christian Church in the city of Rome, which is almost universally recognized by all Christians as Paul's Magnum Opus. If you want to understand Paul, and more importantly, if you want to understand the kind of core ideas of Christian theology, it's right there in Romans.

This means with just three books, all linked together in a way (Luke, Acts, Romans) you'll get the entire Jesus story, the story of how Christianity got started and spread, and some serious meat and potatoes about Christian teaching. So that is what I always recommend. After that, the world's your oyster, you can go back and read some of the other Gospels, skip around to other parts of the New Testament, maybe try the Psalms, or even just go back to Genesis and try a straight read through if you want.

There's no right or wrong way here, it all comes down to preference and opinion. So this is just my personal opinion and personal recommendation.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
What are some things I can do in my life to be a better Christian and servant to God?

Three words: Pray, pray, and pray.

In a sense, one of the things we all will eventually come to learn is that there's really no such thing as a "better Christian". There are just Christians, and we're all very flawed and broken people, because we're people. Christian maturity is not learning how to be more "holy", but learning just how much more work we need and just how much more we need to depend on God. I'm not sure that's something that can be easily taught, but it is something we learn as we continue to grow and walk in faith.

Keeping ourselves at the receiving end of God's grace, as we learn to pray more, as we keep reading and hearing the Scriptures, as we come together and participate in Christian life together by going to church, hearing the good things we need to hear, as we receive the Lord's Supper, as we just live this Christian life together, God is actively working on us and in us.

The most honest thing I can tell you is that being a Christian is not easy, nor is it meant to be. Jesus told us that following Him means taking up and carrying a cross, and the whole thing about crosses is that they are painful. But life knowing Jesus is infinitely better than life apart from Him, that too is something that we come to discover as we live this Christian life.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
Again, I apologize for the long post and I appreciate any input. Thanks!

Oh it wasn't very long at all, and don't apologize. Many of us here are more than happy to help newcomers, seekers, and new Christians in any way we can!

-CryptoLutheran

Soyeong · Mar 29, 2023

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
Appreciate the advice and your comments about my family. It's actually an odd predicament. My wife is Japanese. We met when I was living in Japan teaching English. Like most Japanese, she's Shinto but not much of a believer. I've discussed attending church with her and she's not hostile to it or anything but she's under the impression that she would be out of place and judged for not knowing much about Christianity. She was actually surprised when I brought it up since I've not one to talk about religion much. We decided I would attend by myself at first and "report back" so to speak. Since she doesn't know anyone here in the US outside my family, I've emphasized to her that church could be a great place to meet other parents and engage more in the community. It might be a tough nut to crack but I'm willing to try and she seems at least open to the idea. I would love to eventually bring my whole family.

That's cool, my uncle taught in Indonesia and met his wife there, though if I recall correctly, she was already a Christian. Within a denomination you'll find a range of how welcoming people are, though people in general find it a lot easier to talk with the people that they know than with strangers, so that probably has more to do with the particular individuals that you happen to meet than with their particular denomination. Most churches also have a number that you can call to ask questions. That's good that she it open to the idea. and I agree that it would be good to get more engaged in the community.

Brihaha · Mar 29, 2023

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I feel it's easier to have serious discussions in a forum like this rather than a place like Reddit since that website can often become toxic.

Also, I apologize in advance. This might be a long post.

My journey to Christianity is probably not an uncommon one, but it was a long road that I'm still travelling on. I didn't come from a particularly religious family. My father was raised Catholic and my mother Protestant. We didn't attend church, even on holidays. My mother was certainly more spiritual than the rest of us and often turned to God in times of need and safety. Regardless, both of my parents are wonderful people and did an incredible job raising my brothers and I and I strive to raise my own children as good as they did

When I was a child, I would pray to God each night before bed. I decided on my own to do this and I have no idea why but it was strangely comforting to me. Unfortunately, when I reached my teens and then into my 20s, I became very antagonistic towards religion and my mistake was overvaluing the negatives and undervaluing the positives. In other words, I focused too much on the bad things done in the name of religion (bigotry, wars etc.) and ignored the positives (community, charity, comfort etc.) Despite this, I was never an atheist even though many of my friends were. The idea of atheism never sat well with me. At best, I suppose I could be described as a Deist at that point in my life.

I'm now approaching middle age with a wife and two beautiful children and within the past couple of years I've had a strong urge to explore faith more deeply, Customs and traditions I may have ridiculed as an early 20-something I now have deep respect for and wish to participate in. I suppose that's what growing up does to a person, especially after having children and witnessing the miracle of life God produces first hand.

I consider myself a Christian because I accept Jesus Christ as the son of God and our savior. But I also feel phony about it. I've yet to attend church (mostly because I'm unsure of what denomination I'd fit in). A little while ago, I began reading the Bible each night, starting at Genesis which may or may not have been the best way to start but I am striving to learn.

If it's ok, I'd like to solicit some advice on how to continue this journey:

How can I choose which denomination and church fits best for me?

Would it be preferable if I start reading the Bible at the Gospels rather than from the beginning, or start somewhere else?

What are some things I can do in my life to be a better Christian and servant to God?

Again, I apologize for the long post and I appreciate any input. Thanks!

Congratulations my friend. You have been blessed with faith. Read the Bible. It is our guide. Reading the Bible keeps my treasures in heaven and not here on earth. Find a comfortable church in which to worship. Fellowship in a spiritual community is a great tool to keep us in line with His word. It's not as easy to find a comfortable church as it used to be. Lots of false doctrine and political activism in churches I've found.

It sounds like the Holy Spirit has found you. It's likely why identifying as an atheist doesn't sit well with you. My advice is be nice to others. The nicer I am the better I am received by others. And it makes one feel good to be nice. If we all tried to do something good for the other person the world would function much better than the selfish way it's presently functioning. Accentuate the positives too. It really helps. Thanks for sharing and I wish you the best. Peace.

Heart_Like_A_Wheel · Mar 30, 2023

ViaCrucis said:
Oh that's a tough one. And the difficulty here is that most of us are going to be biased toward our own denominations and traditions. I'm Lutheran, for example, and so naturally I think Lutheranism is not only the best fit for me, but for anyone--but that's my bias. And it seems a little disingenuous if I were to pretend like I was neutral and objective in suggesting that.

Here's where I think a good start would be for you: You mentioned your parents weren't particularly religious, but that your dad was Catholic and mom Protestant, do you know what kind of Protestant? That's where I think you should start looking--look into and explore Catholicism and your mother's Protestant tradition. At the very least that is a starting point for exploration.

I, personally, grew up in a religious household, my family at first went to a non-denominational church, and later a Pentecostal one. But due to the trajectory my life took, I became Lutheran. Things like that happen. So start where you might be most familiar, and just explore, ask questions. For example, here on Christian Forums there are boards dedicated specifically to different denominations/traditions of Christianity, there is a dedicated Catholic board, a dedicated Lutheran board, a dedicated Baptist board, etc. You are completely welcome to visit those boards and ask questions, I know many of the Catholic posters are more than happy to answer whatever questions you might have about Catholicism. Same with us Lutherans over in our space.

And don't be afraid to visit churches. Any decent church is happy to receive visitors, and clergy love to answer questions for those who are seeking, exploring. Visiting and experiencing the service doesn't require you to make any commitments, you are free to simply be there and see what's happening.

Most will agree that starting with the Gospels is the best thing to do when first getting into the Bible seriously. Though there will be different opinions about which Gospel to start with, there are four Gospels after all.

Whenever someone asks me how they should start reading the Bible here is what I suggest: Start with the Gospel of Luke. The reason why I recommend Luke is for a couple reasons, Luke is a pretty easy to understand and follow along Gospel. But also because the author of Luke wrote a sequel, the Acts of the Apostles. Many scholars in fact speak of the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles as a two-part work referring to it as "Luke-Acts". Where the Gospel of Luke ends, the Acts of the Apostles picks up, and it tells the story and activites (the acts) of Jesus' Apostles after His resurrection and ascension, it's how Christianity started. The Acts of the Apostles also introduces a reader of the Bible to St. Paul the Apostle, who plays a huge role in the Acts and is also the most prolific writer of the New Testament. Paul wrote 13 of the 27 books which make up the New Testament. Which means that by the time you have finished reading the Acts of the Apostles, you can read Paul's Letter to the Romans, a letter he wrote to the Christian Church in the city of Rome, which is almost universally recognized by all Christians as Paul's Magnum Opus. If you want to understand Paul, and more importantly, if you want to understand the kind of core ideas of Christian theology, it's right there in Romans.

This means with just three books, all linked together in a way (Luke, Acts, Romans) you'll get the entire Jesus story, the story of how Christianity got started and spread, and some serious meat and potatoes about Christian teaching. So that is what I always recommend. After that, the world's your oyster, you can go back and read some of the other Gospels, skip around to other parts of the New Testament, maybe try the Psalms, or even just go back to Genesis and try a straight read through if you want.

There's no right or wrong way here, it all comes down to preference and opinion. So this is just my personal opinion and personal recommendation.

Three words: Pray, pray, and pray.

In a sense, one of the things we all will eventually come to learn is that there's really no such thing as a "better Christian". There are just Christians, and we're all very flawed and broken people, because we're people. Christian maturity is not learning how to be more "holy", but learning just how much more work we need and just how much more we need to depend on God. I'm not sure that's something that can be easily taught, but it is something we learn as we continue to grow and walk in faith.

Keeping ourselves at the receiving end of God's grace, as we learn to pray more, as we keep reading and hearing the Scriptures, as we come together and participate in Christian life together by going to church, hearing the good things we need to hear, as we receive the Lord's Supper, as we just live this Christian life together, God is actively working on us and in us.

The most honest thing I can tell you is that being a Christian is not easy, nor is it meant to be. Jesus told us that following Him means taking up and carrying a cross, and the whole thing about crosses is that they are painful. But life knowing Jesus is infinitely better than life apart from Him, that too is something that we come to discover as we live this Christian life.

Oh it wasn't very long at all, and don't apologize. Many of us here are more than happy to help newcomers, seekers, and new Christians in any way we can!

-CryptoLutheran

Thank you for your response and kind words.

I replied to another poster that the two churches closest to me are Lutheran and Methodist. As far as I've been able to learn online (and I could be way off) Lutheran churches tend to be more conservative (I don't mean in a political sense but in a traditional and ritual sense) and members are required to participate in confession. On the other hand, Methodist churches tend to be less focused on tradition and ritual and more "freewheeling" so to speak but really big into community events. Again, I could have this completely wrong since I haven't attended either church and I apologize for my ignorance. I suppose the best thing to is take your advice and try both and continue to engage with you kind folks here. Thanks again for your advice!

ViaCrucis · Mar 30, 2023

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
Thank you for your response and kind words.

I replied to another poster that the two churches closest to me are Lutheran and Methodist. As far as I've been able to learn online (and I could be way off) Lutheran churches tend to be more conservative (I don't mean in a political sense but in a traditional and ritual sense) and members are required to participate in confession. On the other hand, Methodist churches tend to be less focused on tradition and ritual and more "freewheeling" so to speak but really big into community events. Again, I could have this completely wrong since I haven't attended either church and I apologize for my ignorance. I suppose the best thing to is take your advice and try both and continue to engage with you kind folks here. Thanks again for your advice!

I've only visited a Methodist church once, and it was pretty traditional. But it is possible that Methodists are more willing to adopt more contemporary elements than Lutherans; though some Lutheran congregations have to varying degrees.

It depends on what you mean by "confession". Lutherans by and large hold strongly to being confessional, that is holding tightly to the Lutheran Confessions as contained in the Book of Concord; that we are in agreement in our faith, so when we come together and express and share our faith together we are con-fessing, (speaking together). Though that can largely depend on which body of Lutherans, and even then it can vary from congregation to congregation. But as a rule, yes, we think doctrinal harmony is important, at least on the stuff that matters. And, in fact, the distinction between the stuff that matters and the stuff that doesn't matter is a big deal in Lutheran theology. Our position is that if God has not said something, we can't really say anything either. We even have a term for the not important stuff, we call it adiaphora, a Greek word meaning "things of indifference". And it describes a lot of things, including things that Lutherans do all the time. Adiaphora simply means that Christians are free to disagree or to have no real opinion on it at all.

If God has not commanded something, or forbidden something, if God hasn't seen fit to tell us something, then we can't presume to speak for God where He's been silent. So that means where God is silent, we believe we should be silent too. That means there are a lot of unanswered and unanswerable questions in Lutheranism, and we're okay with it. Because if we started pretending like we can speak for God then we will fall into the trap of being legalistic, moralistic, and putting barriers between people and Jesus. And that is precisely the thing we were trying to stop from happening five hundred years ago. So, as an example, my grandmother grew up in a type of church that said women can't wear trousers, or jewelry, or makeup, church members were forbidden from going to the cinema, playing card games, or going to sporting events. All these crazy rules that supposedly were about being "holy". Well, from a Lutheran perspective, that's shockingly horrible, God hasn't told us how to dress, or what we can or can't wear, or what sorts of hobbies we can have. What kinds of music we listen to, what movies we watch, those are all things that come down to an individual person's conscience and sensibilities. One person may be offended by swear words in a movie, and so avoid that movie, another person won't be offended and so it's no big deal. Moralism and legalism are two serious problems we seek to avoid, and avoid very strongly. So while we tend to hold very strongly to confessional beliefs--to believing the important stuff that we confess together as Lutheran Christians--the other stuff is really just up to personal opinion, personal taste, and personal conscience. And it's important it stays that way.

-CryptoLutheran

RoBo1988 · Apr 6, 2023

Some parts of your journey sounds a little like mine. I have followed Christ for almost 35 years now.
I grew up as a Lutheran; was confirmed as a member, and then gradually faded out of the church in my HS years. I was saved at 27 years old (thanks to Christian radio) and read the Bible thru (NIV version-I doubt if I would have stuck with the KJV at the time), before I ever attended church regularly.
My first wife (we were married about 5 years at my conversion), was was sometimes opposing, sometimes indifferent, and sometimes supportive- she once bought me a Thompson Chain Reference Bible (highly recommended) for my birthday. However, she never received Christ until she had 6 months to live, she died 9 years ago.
I have attended Lutheran, Church of God (both Anderson, and Cleveland) and now attend an independent Pentecostal church with my new wife.
If I was to advise someone, get a readable, accurate reference Bible, like an ESV ; avoid study Bibles (opinionated, and usually denomination-ally slanted). Start in the book of Mark. To quote J. Vernon McGee "Read it, pray about it, hear what others say about it" Also, get a copy of Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest" or read it online. I think it will help you avoid a lot of the Christian self-help books.
As the children's hymn goes: "Read your Bible/ Pray every day/ And you'll grow, grow, grow"

fhansen · Apr 7, 2023

Heart_Like_A_Wheel said:
First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I feel it's easier to have serious discussions in a forum like this rather than a place like Reddit since that website can often become toxic.

Also, I apologize in advance. This might be a long post.

My journey to Christianity is probably not an uncommon one, but it was a long road that I'm still travelling on. I didn't come from a particularly religious family. My father was raised Catholic and my mother Protestant. We didn't attend church, even on holidays. My mother was certainly more spiritual than the rest of us and often turned to God in times of need and safety. Regardless, both of my parents are wonderful people and did an incredible job raising my brothers and I and I strive to raise my own children as good as they did

When I was a child, I would pray to God each night before bed. I decided on my own to do this and I have no idea why but it was strangely comforting to me. Unfortunately, when I reached my teens and then into my 20s, I became very antagonistic towards religion and my mistake was overvaluing the negatives and undervaluing the positives. In other words, I focused too much on the bad things done in the name of religion (bigotry, wars etc.) and ignored the positives (community, charity, comfort etc.) Despite this, I was never an atheist even though many of my friends were. The idea of atheism never sat well with me. At best, I suppose I could be described as a Deist at that point in my life.

I'm now approaching middle age with a wife and two beautiful children and within the past couple of years I've had a strong urge to explore faith more deeply, Customs and traditions I may have ridiculed as an early 20-something I now have deep respect for and wish to participate in. I suppose that's what growing up does to a person, especially after having children and witnessing the miracle of life God produces first hand.

I consider myself a Christian because I accept Jesus Christ as the son of God and our savior. But I also feel phony about it. I've yet to attend church (mostly because I'm unsure of what denomination I'd fit in). A little while ago, I began reading the Bible each night, starting at Genesis which may or may not have been the best way to start but I am striving to learn.

If it's ok, I'd like to solicit some advice on how to continue this journey:

How can I choose which denomination and church fits best for me?

Would it be preferable if I start reading the Bible at the Gospels rather than from the beginning, or start somewhere else?

What are some things I can do in my life to be a better Christian and servant to God?

Again, I apologize for the long post and I appreciate any input. Thanks!

The main thing is that you seek, as earnestly as you can. God will lead. The OT can get a bit cumbersome in places so alternate with the NT so you’re learning the teachings of Christ at the same time. Pray, and strive to place love of God and neighbor above all else in your life and actions as you’re able. Study the history of the church as well, early fathers, councils, etc.

Joy · Apr 11, 2023

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IoanC · Apr 11, 2023

There may be such a thing as religious progress. Yet, our relationship with God is simple, originating in the heart, and already complete.

Newbie here. I'd like to ask for some advice.

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