Destroyed my life

Psychosis has something to do with something medical related, as well as mental illness.

If you are not taking care of your health, especially not having good quality sleep. Then it is a link to what your experiencing.

headphones777 said:

So, tell me: did I cross the point of no return? Or is there still hope for me? KR, a lost sinner.

Click to expand...

God accepts us, only based on what Christ did for us on the Cross for us.
God keeps us for the very same reason., and for no other.

Salvation, is Jesus making us acceptable to God by dying for us.

JESUS is our salvation, not our behavior.

Alway understand that and you have understood God's GRACE and in that understanding deliverance and freedom and peace is found and maintained.

headphones777 said:

To keep a long story short, I grieved the Holy Spirit 8 years ago with sins of the flesh and had a very painful spiritual experience. As a result of this, I developed a mental illness and my life has gone in a downward spiral. Between the years of '15-'18, I received what I believe to be graces from the Holy Spirit. These were in the forms of dreams, locutions and visions. Now, I am no longer sure if these were authentic revelations of the Holy Spirit, since being diagnosed with mental illness has made me doubt my sanity over and over again. Everything took a turn for the worse when I (shamefully) persisted in my sin and I felt how the Holy Spirit... left me. With all of his gifts. Ever since then, I've been depressed, feeling like I am lost, hospitalized due to recurring psychotic episodes, s**cide attempt. I feel like life is not worth living anymore. I don't even understand myself anymore, and I am afraid that I've committed the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I cannot feel or sense anything when I pray, and I cannot hear God's voice no matter how hard I try. The passages of Hebrews 10:26-31 and Heb 6:4-6 terrify me, since they describe the exact kind of person that I am. Now, when I commit a sin, I no longer feel the pangs of conscience or guilt, I just feel dead inside. And what's even worse, is that I have fornicated and committed even more sins of the flesh since the time the Spirit left me, since I don't feel any guilt. But now I am starting to fear for my soul, and perhaps realizing that I am in spiritual danger. So, tell me: did I cross the point of no return? Or is there still hope for me? KR, a lost sinner.

Click to expand...

Paul got Christians jailed and some he even got killed. Paul calls himself the worst/the chief of sinners. And yet God forgave him.

He did all that as a sort of spiritual leader for the people of God within the nation-church God established at Sinai.

Yet God forgave him.

Your problem is that you keep trying to second guess God. Stop trying to imagine whether God has reached His limit. that is not a game for humans to play.

Just do what Paul did. Start over - repent, confess and turn to God with all our heart. In other words "step 1".

Don't get caught up into games like "yes but maybe this is too much for God to forgive". Satan will always be able to come up with a ba-zillion of those games for you to toy with.

Here is a good devotional for getting back onto the road toward mental and spiritual health
Steps to Christ


Here is another one to read after that -
Desire of Ages

Satan won't like it - but you will enjoy both of them.

headphones777 said:

To keep a long story short, I grieved the Holy Spirit 8 years ago with sins of the flesh and had a very painful spiritual experience. As a result of this, I developed a mental illness and my life has gone in a downward spiral. Between the years of '15-'18, I received what I believe to be graces from the Holy Spirit. These were in the forms of dreams, locutions and visions. Now, I am no longer sure if these were authentic revelations of the Holy Spirit, since being diagnosed with mental illness has made me doubt my sanity over and over again. Everything took a turn for the worse when I (shamefully) persisted in my sin and I felt how the Holy Spirit... left me. With all of his gifts. Ever since then, I've been depressed, feeling like I am lost, hospitalized due to recurring psychotic episodes, s**cide attempt. I feel like life is not worth living anymore. I don't even understand myself anymore, and I am afraid that I've committed the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I cannot feel or sense anything when I pray, and I cannot hear God's voice no matter how hard I try. The passages of Hebrews 10:26-31 and Heb 6:4-6 terrify me, since they describe the exact kind of person that I am. Now, when I commit a sin, I no longer feel the pangs of conscience or guilt, I just feel dead inside. And what's even worse, is that I have fornicated and committed even more sins of the flesh since the time the Spirit left me, since I don't feel any guilt. But now I am starting to fear for my soul, and perhaps realizing that I am in spiritual danger. So, tell me: did I cross the point of no return? Or is there still hope for me? KR, a lost sinner.

Click to expand...

No you are not lost, but changes need to happen when you get such strong signs.

headphones777 said:

The passages of Hebrews 10:26-31 and Heb 6:4-6 terrify me,

Click to expand...

Probably the two worse quoted, out of context, misused verses in the scripture.

Hebrews 6 has nothing to do with salvation. It is a hypothetical case of what would happen if you deviated from the fundamental doctrine "repentance from dead works." The Hebrews wanted to bring back the daily sacrifice, and Paul was simply pointing out that if we insist on bringing back the daily sacrifice, we would require Jesus to come back to earth and be sacrificed every day. He will not be doing that, so there remains no sacrifice left for your sin. Start reading in Heb 5:12 and get the correct context. It is all about doctrine, doctrinal maturity, and what God will do if you do not keep your elementary doctrine straight. He may not allow you to go on to mature doctrine. That is it. If you "fall" (Greek is deviate) in your baby food, you will never be able to chew the meat.

If we are to read Heb 10:26 in the way legalists want us to read it. NOBODY is saved. Not one. Not even them.

Hebrews 10:26 KJV
26. For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,

Some people call security of the believer "Once Saved Always Saved" (OSAS). If we were to give the above teaching a cute little name, we might say "Twice Lost, Lost Forever" (TLLF). So everyone reading this was saved only until they sinned their first sin after salvation. Thought, word, deed, whatever. You have sinned since you were saved, even if you insist you have not. So if you interpret the above verse in this way, Christianity is a failure. You were saved, maybe, a few minutes. But now you are lost and there remains no more sacrifice for your sin.
It is absurd. God sent Jesus, and required Him to die for your sins and the sins of the world. But all that work was undone the first time you looked twice at a young lady, coveted your neighbors law mower, or burned a little hate at that guy who cut you off.

Folks who teach this are very confused, and unfortunately confuse many good Christians who listen to them and fall for this twisting of the passages.

Take heart saint. John, the beloved apostle, said if you say you have not sinned, you are a liar. He also said if you confess your sin Jesus is FAITHFUL and JUST to forgive your sins and cleanse you of all unrighteousness. That would be an odd verse if in fact you are lost the first time you sin after you are saved. John also said that he would you sin not, but if you did, you have an advocate with the father: Jesus the righteous.
Jesus is never going to leave you or forsake you. Trust Him. Do you best not to sin. Be holy and righteous as you can. Struggle against sin.

headphones777 said:

To keep a long story short, I grieved the Holy Spirit 8 years ago with sins of the flesh and had a very painful spiritual experience. As a result of this, I developed a mental illness and my life has gone in a downward spiral. Between the years of '15-'18, I received what I believe to be graces from the Holy Spirit. These were in the forms of dreams, locutions and visions. Now, I am no longer sure if these were authentic revelations of the Holy Spirit, since being diagnosed with mental illness has made me doubt my sanity over and over again. Everything took a turn for the worse when I (shamefully) persisted in my sin and I felt how the Holy Spirit... left me. With all of his gifts. Ever since then, I've been depressed, feeling like I am lost, hospitalized due to recurring psychotic episodes, s**cide attempt. I feel like life is not worth living anymore. I don't even understand myself anymore, and I am afraid that I've committed the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I cannot feel or sense anything when I pray, and I cannot hear God's voice no matter how hard I try. The passages of Hebrews 10:26-31 and Heb 6:4-6 terrify me, since they describe the exact kind of person that I am. Now, when I commit a sin, I no longer feel the pangs of conscience or guilt, I just feel dead inside. And what's even worse, is that I have fornicated and committed even more sins of the flesh since the time the Spirit left me, since I don't feel any guilt. But now I am starting to fear for my soul, and perhaps realizing that I am in spiritual danger. So, tell me: did I cross the point of no return? Or is there still hope for me? KR, a lost sinner.

Click to expand...

Hi, headphones777

I just want to tell you that there is a difference between one straying from God and God leaving someone. When God leaves someone, it is to show His wrath against that person. When a person strays from God, he or she knows that things are not going as they should in the relationship with God, and God can still work in that person. Even if you don’t feel any guilt anymore, you know that the things you are doing are wrong. My advice to you is to find people who love God to keep you accountable in your relationship with God, and if you don’t do out of pleasure the things which used to keep your relationship with God moving forward, at least do them out of a sense of obligation, just like you take care of yourself and go to work out of obligation.

Second, learn more about the medications you are taking. It is very possible that suicidal thoughts are caused by these medications. This does not mean to stop them without a doctor telling you, but knowing what their effects are can give you another perspective.

God bless you richly.

There's Luke 15:11-32 and John 21:15-22 so I do not believe you are beyond hope.