Unpardonable Sin & OCD

Tyler35 · Mar 8, 2023

I am a firm believer, a child of God, and deep down inside I know that God has me and loves me. With OCD though, I keep circling back to worries of the unpardonable sin; I analyze it again to try to find the answer, and there is no universally accepted answer so it’s impossible just to find one answer. In recent years I hadn’t doubted my salvation, but then during an OCD therapy session last year, I said something I did not mean (as a therapeutic exercise), and then I found out about the unpardonable sin a couple weeks later (interestingly I had read those bible verses before, and it never registered with me that Jesus was speaking of an unpardonable sin). I initially worried that what I had said may had been the unpardonable sin but now, looking back, I understand that it was not.

I have since read many articles and listened to numerous sermons on what the unpardonable sin is. The fear was overwhelming, and I found myself having terrible (unwanted) thoughts in my head (that I will not type out); I did not believe any of these thoughts, and the more I tried not to think them, the more they kept coming back. I then had fears that I committed the unpardonable sin in my head, but knew that was nonsense. I remember praying in late November last year, telling God that I knew I had not committed this sin (it was not the first time I had prayed this, but I had peace after that prayer this time). The next day, I was hanging around my fiancé’s apartment while she was out, and I heard myself saying, “The Holy Spirit”, out loud. I then went into panic mode, because I was unsure as to why I had said “The Holy Spirit” out loud and was worried as to what I might have said prior to that; essentially, I was worried that I might have caught myself saying one of my terrible thoughts out loud. It scared the daylights out of me, but quite quickly I concluded I must had been thinking and speaking “Praise The Father, Son, and The Holy Spirit”, because I’d remembered thinking and (I believe) saying that out loud earlier that morning.

The worry essentially comes back every now and again of “what if” I actually did say one of my terrible thoughts out loud. I love God, the faith He has given me is all that matters to me. I sometimes worry though that I have messed everything up.

Does this all make sense? Any input here?

sandman · Mar 8, 2023

Tyler35 said:
I am a firm believer, a child of God, and deep down inside I know that God has me and loves me. With OCD though, I keep circling back to worries of the unpardonable sin; I analyze it again to try to find the answer, and there is no universally accepted answer so it’s impossible just to find one answer. In recent years I hadn’t doubted my salvation, but then during an OCD therapy session last year, I said something I did not mean (as a therapeutic exercise), and then I found out about the unpardonable sin a couple weeks later (interestingly I had read those bible verses before, and it never registered with me that Jesus was speaking of an unpardonable sin). I initially worried that what I had said may had been the unpardonable sin but now, looking back, I understand that it was not.

I have since read many articles and listened to numerous sermons on what the unpardonable sin is. The fear was overwhelming, and I found myself having terrible (unwanted) thoughts in my head (that I will not type out); I did not believe any of these thoughts, and the more I tried not to think them, the more they kept coming back. I then had fears that I committed the unpardonable sin in my head, but knew that was nonsense. I remember praying in late November last year, telling God that I knew I had not committed this sin (it was not the first time I had prayed this, but I had peace after that prayer this time). The next day, I was hanging around my fiancé’s apartment while she was out, and I heard myself saying, “The Holy Spirit”, out loud. I then went into panic mode, because I was unsure as to why I had said “The Holy Spirit” out loud and was worried as to what I might have said prior to that; essentially, I was worried that I might have caught myself saying one of my terrible thoughts out loud. It scared the daylights out of me, but quite quickly I concluded I must had been thinking and speaking “Praise The Father, Son, and The Holy Spirit”, because I’d remembered thinking and (I believe) saying that out loud earlier that morning.

The worry essentially comes back every now and again of “what if” I actually did say one of my terrible thoughts out loud. I love God, the faith He has given me is all that matters to me. I sometimes worry though that I have messed everything up.

Does this all make sense? Any input here?

I could give you an answer ...but it is not really necessary...for this reason.
A born again believer absolutely cannot commit the unforgivable sin.
This is something that is 180 degrees out of phase with God and has to be done with the full knowledge of what you are willfully and purposely doing... as a natural man.

d taylor · Mar 8, 2023

-

Nobody can commit the sin in Matthew chapter 12., so stop worrying about it.

Gregory Thompson · Mar 9, 2023

With OCD, worry is an addiction. Even if you resolved this worry, the addiction would just find something else.

Best to deal with the root of the worry via Philippians 4:4-9.

Sabertooth · Mar 9, 2023

@Tyler35, I know of three verses that imply a "point of no return." Which one do you feel that you are in violation of?

Also besides seeing a psychiatrist, some churches are better than others at dealing with mental illnesses.

The Church & Mental Illness...

These USA churches are good at dealing with mental illnesses (such as schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.), Vineyard, Assembly of God, Foursquare Church (Links above are locators.) They are present in other countries, as well...

www.christianforums.com

anetazo · Mar 9, 2023

Only Gods Elect can commit the unpardonable sin. The election dont have free will. Matthew 12:31. Wherefore I say unto you. All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men : but the blasphemy against the holy spirit shall not be forgiven unto men. All sins are forgivable by repentance. Except to blasphemy against holy spirit. ONLY GODS ELECT CAN COMMIT THE UNPARDONABLE SIN. Most people have free will and can't commit the unpardonable sin. God's Election don't have free will. They are predestined, chosen before foundation of the world. First Corinthians 2:14. But the natural man received not the things of the spirit of God : for they are foolishness unto him; neither can he know them, because they are spirtualty Discerned. Many people have spirit of stupor for their protection, they have blinders on. God's Election have holy spirit. Therefore, a person who who has spirit of slumber cant commit the unpardonable sin. First Peter 1:2. Elect, according to the foreknowledge of God the father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus christ : I documented the Election have holy spirit. Of course Jesus foreknew His Election. God's Election were judged in first earth age. Satan led a rebellion against God, deceived one third of God's children. Instead of destroying one third of His children. God destroyed the first earth age. Were in the second earth age. God's Election stood against satan and his rebellion. God judged the Election on the spot in the first earth age. Get the picture. Ephesians 1:4. According as He hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love. 1:6. Having predestined us unto adoption of children by Jesus christ to himself. I documented again, Gods Elect were chosen in first earth age. They have holy spirit. These with free will don't have holy spirit. And can't commit the unpardonable sin. Some people have spirtual blinders on and can't understand meat of God's word. Revelation chapter 20, those with spirit of stupor will be taught during millennium . I'll stop here. I told the truth.
.

Tyler35 · Mar 9, 2023

Sabertooth said:
@Tyler35, I know of three verses that imply a "point of no return." Which one do you feel that you are in violation of?

Also besides seeing a psychiatrist, some churches are better than others at dealing with mental illnesses.

The Church & Mental Illness...

These USA churches are good at dealing with mental illnesses (such as schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.), Vineyard, Assembly of God, Foursquare Church (Links above are locators.) They are present in other countries, as well...

www.christianforums.com

The worry is what if I am in violation of Matthew 12:31-32, along with the same verses from Mark and Luke? I will appreciate any insight you have here, @Sabertooth .

Also thank you for that link, I will look into that!

FameBright · Mar 9, 2023

I don't believe Jesus was referring to random blasphemies and general utterances but a very specific blasphemy which was saying that the works of God was really the work of Satan while the miracle was being performed. As far as I know there are only two paths to salvation which is through God which the Jews pretty much held the key and through Jesus which is the path for everyone else. They already openly rejected Jesus. By attributing God's work to the work of Satan, well they are pretty much rejecting God too. And these weren't just ordinary people but God's chosen - the Jews. I can see why they would be dealt harshly with. They knew it was God's work so it became obvious what was really in their hearts. It doesn't sound like you have the same things in your heart despite what your sporadic utterances may be.

Sabertooth · Mar 9, 2023

Tyler35 said:
The worry is what if I am in violation of Matthew 12:31-32, along with the same verses from Mark and Luke?

Apart from intrusive thoughts, have you knowingly & willfully accused the work of the Holy Spirit as being from the devil?
Do you think that your conscience would be convicted of such (a function of the Holy Spirit), if you really did...? The devil would accuse you, but no one would convict you.

Tyler35 · Mar 10, 2023

Sabertooth said:
Apart from intrusive thoughts, have you knowingly & willfully accused the work of the Holy Spirit as being from the devil?

Do you think that your conscience would be convicted of such (a function of the Holy Spirit), if you really did...? The devil would accuse you, but no one would convict you.

God Bless you @Sabertooth

Please read my response below.

1. Outside of intrusive thoughts, the thing that has been a worry for me is I was hanging around my fiancé’s apartment while she was out, and I heard myself saying, “The Holy Spirit”, out loud. I then went into panic mode, because I was unsure as to why I had said “The Holy Spirit” out loud and was worried as to what I might have said prior to that; essentially, I was worried that I might have caught myself saying one of my terrible thoughts out loud.

So no I didn’t do anything willfully, nor knowingly, nor was there an obvious work of the Holy Spirit at that time. All in All, it is quite silly of me to worry if I committed it.

The fact that I still believe, whole heartedly in our Father, shows I am not lost. I know deep down this fear is OCD and also the evil one attacking me. Communicating with you and other Christians does help me. Curious @Sabertooth do you know others with religious OCD? Do you have any other helpful insights? I will also be looking into those Churches tomorrow from the link.

Tyler35 · Mar 10, 2023

Tyler35 said:
God Bless you @Sabertooth

Please read my response below.

1. Outside of intrusive thoughts, the thing that has been a worry for me is I was hanging around my fiancé’s apartment while she was out, and I heard myself saying, “The Holy Spirit”, out loud. I then went into panic mode, because I was unsure as to why I had said “The Holy Spirit” out loud and was worried as to what I might have said prior to that; essentially, I was worried that I might have caught myself saying one of my terrible thoughts out loud.

So no I didn’t do anything willfully, nor knowingly, nor was there an obvious work of the Holy Spirit at that time. All in All, it is quite silly of me to worry if I committed it.

The fact that I still believe, whole heartedly in our Father, shows I am not lost. I know deep down this fear is OCD and also the evil one attacking me. Communicating with you and other Christians does help me. Curious @Sabertooth do you know others with religious OCD? Do you have any other helpful insights? I will also be looking into those Churches tomorrow from the link.

@Sabertooth just to confirm, based off of what you said and what I responded with above, you do not believe I committed the unpardonable sin?

Am I correct in saying if someone had committed this sin, they wouldn’t love Jesus and would not believe that Jesus was our God and Messiah?

Chaleb · Mar 10, 2023

Tyler35 said:
I am a firm believer, a child of God, and deep down inside I know that God has me and loves me. With OCD though, I keep circling back to worries of the unpardonable sin;

Freedom from this worry is so easy to find.

Here.

What is the unpardonable sin?

Its to die never being born again......as that person has rejected Christ, for life.

See that?..... And as CHRIST is our PARDON.... our forgiveness, then to die UN-Pardoned, is simply to die as a Christ Rejector.. = never born again.

Its the sin of dying unforgiven......as is you reject God's Son, then there is no pardon for this sin, as you have rejected the PARDON>

= Un-Pardonable Sin".

This is to reject Christ for life, never being born again, and you have not done that..........no born again person has done that..

That sin is = CHRIST REJECTORS who die, never having been born again.
They die "un-Pardoned"... = The Unpardonable SIN".

Sabertooth · Mar 10, 2023

Tyler35 said:
Curious @Sabertooth do you know others with religious OCD? Do you have any other helpful insights?

I have an ASD2 son that struggles with co-morbid OCD. You cannot get free of it by arguing or debating with it. It is trolling you to keep your eyes off of Jesus. You must attack it at its root.

Tyler35 said:
@Sabertooth just to confirm, based off of what you said and what I responded with above, you do not believe I committed the unpardonable sin?

Nothing about your incident offends Matt. 12:31-32.

Tyler35 said:
Am I correct in saying if someone had committed this sin, they wouldn’t love Jesus and would not believe that Jesus was our God and Messiah?

Yes, you would not be here if you had.

zoidar · Mar 10, 2023

Tyler35 said:
I am a firm believer, a child of God, and deep down inside I know that God has me and loves me. With OCD though, I keep circling back to worries of the unpardonable sin; I analyze it again to try to find the answer, and there is no universally accepted answer so it’s impossible just to find one answer. In recent years I hadn’t doubted my salvation, but then during an OCD therapy session last year, I said something I did not mean (as a therapeutic exercise), and then I found out about the unpardonable sin a couple weeks later (interestingly I had read those bible verses before, and it never registered with me that Jesus was speaking of an unpardonable sin). I initially worried that what I had said may had been the unpardonable sin but now, looking back, I understand that it was not.

I have since read many articles and listened to numerous sermons on what the unpardonable sin is. The fear was overwhelming, and I found myself having terrible (unwanted) thoughts in my head (that I will not type out); I did not believe any of these thoughts, and the more I tried not to think them, the more they kept coming back. I then had fears that I committed the unpardonable sin in my head, but knew that was nonsense. I remember praying in late November last year, telling God that I knew I had not committed this sin (it was not the first time I had prayed this, but I had peace after that prayer this time). The next day, I was hanging around my fiancé’s apartment while she was out, and I heard myself saying, “The Holy Spirit”, out loud. I then went into panic mode, because I was unsure as to why I had said “The Holy Spirit” out loud and was worried as to what I might have said prior to that; essentially, I was worried that I might have caught myself saying one of my terrible thoughts out loud. It scared the daylights out of me, but quite quickly I concluded I must had been thinking and speaking “Praise The Father, Son, and The Holy Spirit”, because I’d remembered thinking and (I believe) saying that out loud earlier that morning.

The worry essentially comes back every now and again of “what if” I actually did say one of my terrible thoughts out loud. I love God, the faith He has given me is all that matters to me. I sometimes worry though that I have messed everything up.

Does this all make sense? Any input here?

I don't know how much it helps, but the unpardonable sin can't be done by mistake. It's something done by the heart of hearts, a deliberate choice, fully knowing what one is doing, and not caring about it. I say if you worry, then don't! The worry about it is by itself proving that you are in no position of going through with such an act.

linux.poet · Mar 17, 2023

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This thread has been moved
from Christian Philosophy and Ethics
to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

MOD HAT OFF

Mari17 · Mar 18, 2023

Tyler35 said:
I am a firm believer, a child of God, and deep down inside I know that God has me and loves me. With OCD though, I keep circling back to worries of the unpardonable sin; I analyze it again to try to find the answer, and there is no universally accepted answer so it’s impossible just to find one answer. In recent years I hadn’t doubted my salvation, but then during an OCD therapy session last year, I said something I did not mean (as a therapeutic exercise), and then I found out about the unpardonable sin a couple weeks later (interestingly I had read those bible verses before, and it never registered with me that Jesus was speaking of an unpardonable sin). I initially worried that what I had said may had been the unpardonable sin but now, looking back, I understand that it was not.

I have since read many articles and listened to numerous sermons on what the unpardonable sin is. The fear was overwhelming, and I found myself having terrible (unwanted) thoughts in my head (that I will not type out); I did not believe any of these thoughts, and the more I tried not to think them, the more they kept coming back. I then had fears that I committed the unpardonable sin in my head, but knew that was nonsense. I remember praying in late November last year, telling God that I knew I had not committed this sin (it was not the first time I had prayed this, but I had peace after that prayer this time). The next day, I was hanging around my fiancé’s apartment while she was out, and I heard myself saying, “The Holy Spirit”, out loud. I then went into panic mode, because I was unsure as to why I had said “The Holy Spirit” out loud and was worried as to what I might have said prior to that; essentially, I was worried that I might have caught myself saying one of my terrible thoughts out loud. It scared the daylights out of me, but quite quickly I concluded I must had been thinking and speaking “Praise The Father, Son, and The Holy Spirit”, because I’d remembered thinking and (I believe) saying that out loud earlier that morning.

The worry essentially comes back every now and again of “what if” I actually did say one of my terrible thoughts out loud. I love God, the faith He has given me is all that matters to me. I sometimes worry though that I have messed everything up.

Does this all make sense? Any input here?

Thank you for sharing! This is an extremely common obsession among Christians with OCD. I'm curious, are you still in therapy for OCD and how does your therapist have you address this?

The Righterzpen · Mar 18, 2023

@Tyler35

I can tell you my experience as someone who has PTSD and maybe a bit of OCD. (Although my "obsessive issues" aren't bad enough to warrant a diagnosis.)

There comes a point (with any obsession) that one just understands that they know the truth and the decision comes to just abandon the obsession because it no longer serves a purpose. Now this can apply to anything; from worrying about your kid dying to body dysmorphic issues to... pick an obsession.

Now the journey to get there isn't magical. I'm 52 years old. I've been in counseling since I was 13. I've been a believer since I was 17. I came from an extremely dysfunctional family of origin and have endured multiple traumas. Including alcoholic mother, family pedophile, a war (Desert Storm), a mental health emergency that took a good couple of years out of my life, a catastrophic car accident, separation, husband committed suicide, son has chronic severe health issues and developmental disabilities. I collect VA service connected disability for exposure to chemical and biological weapons and have a part time job that's not too many hours. But the job gives me some extra gas money and something to do for a couple hours a week. So it's good.

A lot of my "being able to put stuff to rest" though came out of revelations that God could and did actually love me despite all the crap that's happened. Obviously being a "Calvinist" I believe in the sovereign grace of God. And though for a really long time, I felt like I was "lower than dirt"; I eventually did come to the realization that I was in no worse place of possibility of redemption than anyone else. I had just as much chance of being one of the elect as anyone else. And that leveled the playing field; so at that point I no longer NEEDED to worry about it.

Now I'm only talking from experience here. I don't know how old you are? (Age and maturity does play a role here!) Life experience teaches us things. I also don't have a clinical OCD diagnosis; just some characteristics of OCD.

I would encourage you that if you're not in therapy to get in therapy and stay in therapy. Sometimes medication is necessary; but I'm also a strong proponent of good plant sourced vitamins, minerals and other health supporting supplements. There's no simple, one shot solution to psychological challenges. It's a series of lifestyle changes. It's learning coping skills, learning how to think differently about yourself and your role in your own life. It's about developing support networks. (It's important that we know that we're not alone in our struggles. I'm a big proponent of support groups when they are needed and ones that are helpful.)

The solution isn't magic and doesn't happen over night. It's a series of steps to better health; both mental health and physical health. Exercise is important. Diet is important. The people that you associate with are important. All of this matters. And celebrate the little victories; because they are important too.

And I will pray for you; that as God reveals His truth; and you will be able to lay these worries aside.

Blaise N · Apr 19, 2023

Hello Tyler!

I want to say,May the peace of the lord Jesus Christ be on you!

I have been in your shoes A WAY MANY TIMES,just ask Sabre or micheal,and the unpardonable sin has terrified me for years,and it still does,it’s my deepest fear.I too have OCD,but also Autism,and ADHD,analyzing your statement I can say with absolute certainty and confidence you haven’t committed the unpardonable sin.

I’ve been through every OCD fear obsession anyone can imagine,and let me say it was never in vain,because now I can help you and others that have similar fears!

Believe me my dearest brother you have NOT committed the unpardonable sin.And some more advice on what I’ve learned myself over OCD is that it 1.) Attacks what we love most,for me EVERY single OCD worry is about nothing but Jesus,2.) a fellow brother here by the name of Tolworth John told me that anyone worried about the unpardonable sin hasn’t committed it.

Someone who has wouldn’t care and would live in utter sin.

I’d also like to bring to light two comforting Bible verses:
Philippians 1:6
&
1 John 1:8

For someone with OCD,Philippians 1:6 is the one that comforts me the most.something that has aided me tremendously and I’d like to finally pass onto you is,rely on the truths of the Bible,God cannot lie and relying kn his truths brings immense comfort

-Blaise

I's2C · Apr 22, 2023

The unforgivable sin;

NO ONE has committed the 1 unforgivable sin at this point; it is impossible too, for it can only be committed at hour of temptation. The only time it can ever be committed is at this time. The 7k Elect are the only ones that could commit this “if it were possible”, I tell you it will never happen for the Elect are able and willing to stand up against Satan at the appointed time. It is their destiny and want be denied, a time that even the prophets wanted to be part of; but GOD chose us in these latter days and it is an awesome and wonderful honor. We don’t find him attempting but an abomination! The Elect will stand when called and give their testimony in the Pentecostal tongue where every person on earth will hear and understand for it is not them that speak but the HOLY SPIRIT>To Blaspheme against the HOLY SPIRIT is to deny the HOLY SPIRIT to talk through you when brought up for trials in the synagogues of Satan. The Elect and 144k have the seals of GOD firmly implanted in the minds where they will not be deceived by the fake who makes his appearance in the latter half of a 5 month reign on 6th trump, claiming to be CHRIST. CHRIST comes on 7th trump and the Elect want be fooled.
Luk 12:10 And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.

Luk 12:11 And when they bring you unto the synagogues, and unto magistrates, and powers, take ye no thought how or what thing ye shall answer, or what ye shall say:
Luk 12:12 For the Holy Ghost shall teach you in the same hour what ye ought to say.
If it were possible; that the Elect could do in the hour of temptation to not let the Holy Spirit speak through you when called to witness the ten days in front of the Anti-Christ in the synagogue of Satan at that hour, the 5 months of his rule May-September in the Generation of the Fig Tree when all prophecy shall be fulfilled.

Too blaspheme the HOLY SPIRIT one has to be an Elect who is brought up in a 10 day trial in synagogues of Satan. CHRIST saying if it be possible, it is not!!

Iaras · May 21, 2023

Tyler35 said:
I am a firm believer, a child of God, and deep down inside I know that God has me and loves me. With OCD though, I keep circling back to worries of the unpardonable sin; I analyze it again to try to find the answer, and there is no universally accepted answer so it’s impossible just to find one answer. In recent years I hadn’t doubted my salvation, but then during an OCD therapy session last year, I said something I did not mean (as a therapeutic exercise), and then I found out about the unpardonable sin a couple weeks later (interestingly I had read those bible verses before, and it never registered with me that Jesus was speaking of an unpardonable sin). I initially worried that what I had said may had been the unpardonable sin but now, looking back, I understand that it was not.

I have since read many articles and listened to numerous sermons on what the unpardonable sin is. The fear was overwhelming, and I found myself having terrible (unwanted) thoughts in my head (that I will not type out); I did not believe any of these thoughts, and the more I tried not to think them, the more they kept coming back. I then had fears that I committed the unpardonable sin in my head, but knew that was nonsense. I remember praying in late November last year, telling God that I knew I had not committed this sin (it was not the first time I had prayed this, but I had peace after that prayer this time). The next day, I was hanging around my fiancé’s apartment while she was out, and I heard myself saying, “The Holy Spirit”, out loud. I then went into panic mode, because I was unsure as to why I had said “The Holy Spirit” out loud and was worried as to what I might have said prior to that; essentially, I was worried that I might have caught myself saying one of my terrible thoughts out loud. It scared the daylights out of me, but quite quickly I concluded I must had been thinking and speaking “Praise The Father, Son, and The Holy Spirit”, because I’d remembered thinking and (I believe) saying that out loud earlier that morning.

The worry essentially comes back every now and again of “what if” I actually did say one of my terrible thoughts out loud. I love God, the faith He has given me is all that matters to me. I sometimes worry though that I have messed everything up.

Does this all make sense? Any input here?

I'M IN THE SAME BOAT
LASTYEAR IN JULY 2022 WHEN IT STARTED TO CUSS WORD IN MY MIND AND BEFORE I GO TO MY EXPERIENCE I WANT TO SHARE A GLIMPSE OF MY STORY BEFORE I WAS TORMENTED .I'M A BORN AGAIN AND ONFIRE TO JESUS I'M SO INLOVE WITH HIM AND I LOVE THE HOLYSPIRIT AND WHEN THE TIME THAT I SAW A PASTOR AND HE IS A FRIEND OF THE HOLYSPIRIT I WAS VERY EXCITED TO KNOW HIM AND TO BECOME HIS FRIEND TOO SO HERE I WAS A YOUNG SERVANT OF GOD THAT WANT TO HAVE A DEEP RELATIONSHIP TO HIM AND TO PRECIOUS HOLYSPIRIT. AND ONEDAY I OPENED MY BIBLE AND AS I READING MATTHEW AND AS I CAME ACROSSED THE PART THAT WHERE IN THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT UNPARDONABLE SIN SO I WAS INTERESTED TO READ IT BUT IF I ONLY KNOW THAT THE SCRIPTURE THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS WHAT THE ENEMY USES TO TRICK ME AND DECEIVED ME TELLING ME THIS HORRIBLE LIES I WOULD NOT LET MYSELF TO READ IT.(IN THAT PART ONLY) SO WHEN I'M IN MY TRIP WHILE THINKING WHAT IS UNPARDONABLE SIN MEANS? IS IT TO !!! IN THEN THE CUSS WORD BEGINS TO ENTER INTO MY MIND THAT MAKES ME THINK ( OH NOW HERE IT WAS NOW YOU COMMITED THE UNPARDONABLE SIN BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU THINK!!! AND WHILE I'M PRAYING BEFORE BED . AND THIS HORRIBLE FEELINGS AN ALL EMOTIONS THAT FULL OF FEAR THINKING IV'E COMMITED THE UNPARDONABLE SIN AND I FELT THIS ANXIETY AND PANICKING THAT I COULD CONTINUE TO PRAY BECAUSE I WAS BEGGING GOD NOT TO LEAVE ME I FELT DISCONNECTED TO HIM BECAUSE OF BELIEVING THE LIE . AND WHEN I BEGUN TO FEEL THAT I COMMITED THE MORE INSTENSE THE EMOTIONS AND THE THOUGHTS THAT RACING IN MY MIND CONDEMNING ME ALOT ITS A TORTURE OF THE MIND AND THE FEELINGS I CAN'T SLEEP I WAS SO DEPRESSED AND THEN IT TURNS INTO SEVERE ANXIETY THAT I COULD NOT IT ANYMORE I LOST MY APPETITE I'VE TRIED TO COME TO GOD LIKE FULL OF SHAME FULL OF GUILT LIKE I COMMITED IT SO IT WASN'T HELP ME AND ALOT OF THOUGHTS URGE ME TO SAY WHAT I DO NOT WANT TO SAY AND THIS YEAR JANUARY I'VE KIND OF LIKE VERY CLOSE TO BACKSLIDING OR I WOULD SAY BECAUSE OF SCRUPULOSITY IT WAS VERY HARD TO STAND IN YOUR OWN TO FIGHT THIS BUT I FORGOT I CANT TO THIS IN MY OWN TO FIGHT THIS IN MY OWN STRENGTH I NEED JESUS EVEN THOUGH I FEEL THIS WAY THAT I CAN'T BE FORGIVEN UNTIL NOW IV'E SUFFERED SCRUPULOSITY BUT I TELL YOU DON'T GIVE UP ITS NOT ONLY YOU SUFFERED LIKE THIS WERE SO MANY BELIEVERS IN CHRIST THAT SUFFERED THIS AND ONEDAY WE WILL FIND OUR BREAKTHROUGH BE ENCOURAGE JUST SEEK JESUS AND HIS BLOOD TO CLEASE YOUR MIND GOD SEES YOURT HEART HE KNOWS EVERYTHING IN YOU BEFORE YOU WERE BORN . I WANT TO TALK TO YOU PLZ REPLY GODBLESS AS ALWAYS

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