I'm not sure how to start this thread. I previously came here in July 2018 and created the two threads linked below. I was desperately seeking wisdom, prayer, and help during a very bad situation. Everyone from my original threads were spot on. I was infatuated and not thinking clearly. I would give anything to take it all back.
After receiving much needed help from some great people here, I'm back to ask for spiritual advice. I'm happy to say that for anyone who remembers my original threads, I stayed with my wife and we're going on 14 years of marriage this year. Our baby is now six and growing like a weed. I took the advice given and fell back in love with my wife again. I have worked really hard to achieve this but it has been great.
What I came back for is to ask for spiritual advice. Before this emotional affair with my coworker (discussed in previous threads linked above), I was serving in the church and just living the Christian life. I confessed to my wife the emotional affair. I confessed that I had feelings for her. I confessed I had opened doors that should've never been opened and that I shared things with her I never should've. I confessed I had even thought about leaving to be with her. Soon after we stopped seeing each other and contacting each other, she left the company and moved out of town. We never saw each other again and only texted a few times after she left which I also regret.
What I'm seeking spiritual advice about is what my life has looked like since this affair. Before I was saved in Jan 2011, I cussed like a sailor, listened to rock music instead of Christian music, and so on. After January 2011, God instantly took away my cussing. I mean instantly it was stopped and I had no answer other than God took it away. I still struggled with inappropriate contentography at times however. I started listening to Christian music instead of rock music. I still enjoy Christian music and find peace when listening to it. This was the case and my life until this emotional affair. I have obviously confessed this sin to God numerous times. I feel like I can't shake the guilt and the shame. Ever since this emotional affair, I feel like I have lost my salvation. I don't believe in losing your salvation. I firmly believe in eternal security, however it genuinely feels like I got so far in sin and so far away from God that I can't feel Him, hear Him, or see Him anymore. I know He is still right where I left Him, however even with me confessing my sins, it doesn't change. What am I missing? Do I have to confess every single detail about the emotional affair to my wife in order to be "healed" from this sin? It's like I feel I have unconfessed sin in my life. Since this emotional affair, I cuss at times like I used to before January 2011 when I profess Salvation. After this emotional affair, it's like there is a large spiritual injury that I can't seem to overcome no matter what I pray or say. What am I missing?
Thank you for taking the time to read this long post.
God Bless!
After receiving much needed help from some great people here, I'm back to ask for spiritual advice. I'm happy to say that for anyone who remembers my original threads, I stayed with my wife and we're going on 14 years of marriage this year. Our baby is now six and growing like a weed. I took the advice given and fell back in love with my wife again. I have worked really hard to achieve this but it has been great.
What I came back for is to ask for spiritual advice. Before this emotional affair with my coworker (discussed in previous threads linked above), I was serving in the church and just living the Christian life. I confessed to my wife the emotional affair. I confessed that I had feelings for her. I confessed I had opened doors that should've never been opened and that I shared things with her I never should've. I confessed I had even thought about leaving to be with her. Soon after we stopped seeing each other and contacting each other, she left the company and moved out of town. We never saw each other again and only texted a few times after she left which I also regret.
What I'm seeking spiritual advice about is what my life has looked like since this affair. Before I was saved in Jan 2011, I cussed like a sailor, listened to rock music instead of Christian music, and so on. After January 2011, God instantly took away my cussing. I mean instantly it was stopped and I had no answer other than God took it away. I still struggled with inappropriate contentography at times however. I started listening to Christian music instead of rock music. I still enjoy Christian music and find peace when listening to it. This was the case and my life until this emotional affair. I have obviously confessed this sin to God numerous times. I feel like I can't shake the guilt and the shame. Ever since this emotional affair, I feel like I have lost my salvation. I don't believe in losing your salvation. I firmly believe in eternal security, however it genuinely feels like I got so far in sin and so far away from God that I can't feel Him, hear Him, or see Him anymore. I know He is still right where I left Him, however even with me confessing my sins, it doesn't change. What am I missing? Do I have to confess every single detail about the emotional affair to my wife in order to be "healed" from this sin? It's like I feel I have unconfessed sin in my life. Since this emotional affair, I cuss at times like I used to before January 2011 when I profess Salvation. After this emotional affair, it's like there is a large spiritual injury that I can't seem to overcome no matter what I pray or say. What am I missing?
Thank you for taking the time to read this long post.
God Bless!
