Gonna necro this thread but I've thought about it too. As I was briefly married and I have no children with my ex, I have just considered myself single for practical purposes. Single as in, different from "never married". I'm just unmarried. Other than our taxes from this lsat year, we don't have anything tying us together. If I had children I would more inclined to consider myself "divorced" because obviously, the ex will be in your life for a while...
I only bring up my divorce if the situation warrants it or if I feel comfortable sharing with a person. I'm not ashamed of it, but I'm choosey about who I open up to in my real life. My marital history is not the business of any Tom, Dick, or Harry who's a busy-body.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I don't go around talking about it to just anyone, partly because it just raises a lot of unnecessary questions. Also, I think people have never been married or been divorced tend to clutch their pearls a little bit at the thought of divorce. Since I've been divorced, I wouldn't be too concerned about someone with a "failed marriage" because I've been through it and I don't see their situation that way.
For fellow divorcees, the questions are more about, who did what to whom? Was there abuse? Cheating? I wouldn't date a divorcee who cheated and was unrepentant--I would date a divorcee whose wife cheated while he was faithful. That kind of thing. There is no monolithic way to look at divorce. If someone is not willing to ask questions and be empathetic, they shouldn't even go there and shouldn't judge and shouldn't be surprised when people don't want to share their very personal business.
Okay, rant over lol
I also like to live in the present and future and don't like to focus on the past. My divorce, obviously
sans children, is in the past. It's a historical event in my life and doesn't define my current status as single to other people.
I am just very afraid of being labeled an open box item by prospective future romantic interests. Im not sure how to broach the subject when first meeting and pursuing a love interest in the future. It seems that many outside of the church think not much of it, but in the church I fear can be a big label on one's forehead.
I know the feeling. Just try to face your fears and stay relaxed about it and know who you are. Look at it like your friends: if your friends would look at you differently, then they aren't really friends. If a potential suitor writes you off because you're divorced and doesn't want to get to know you at all? Then that person would have that unhealthy, closed-minded attitude in other parts of their lives, too.
