Single and lonely.

Tony Ramirez

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My heart feels so deeply empty. I want a girlfriend & to get married so much. I don't think I ever will & that makes me sad. I've waited a long time & it never changes. :sob:
I agree. I feel the same way. It's so annoying seeing friends in relationships having kids and getting married.
 
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Lost Witness

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My heart feels so deeply empty. I want a girlfriend & to get married so much. I don't think I ever will & that makes me sad. I've waited a long time & it never changes. :sob:
Here's my Advice,
Quit Looking,
Being "too interested" in my experience has more Cons than Pros
Focus on you and the LORD,
Then LORD willing, she'll show up :oldthumbsup:
 
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Tony Ramirez

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I guess it might not be too late to still be single. There is a girl I text sometimes with who might be single but is not married from Church who is only one year younger than me.

I meet her when she came up to me during a party a couple who is not at the Church no more. This was pre Covid.
 
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DragonFox91

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I can only daydream of dating & getting married. It's all I've ever been able to do. I have always wanted to date & get married. I just get to watch. It's demoralizing going out & meeting people & friends & there's never a girl for me. What's even the point of trying. It's always the same. Even other late-bloomers I know who never dated are getting dates now they're in their 30s. I still get nothing.

It's my choice at this point. My acceptance of a harsh reality.

single and lonely will be my reality until the day I die.
Don't give up. I have always wanted to date & get married & never have & think it's very unlikely I ever will, but don't give up, you never know!
 
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Sir Robbins

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I can only daydream of dating & getting married. It's all I've ever been able to do. I have always wanted to date & get married. I just get to watch. It's demoralizing going out & meeting people & friends & there's never a girl for me. What's even the point of trying. It's always the same. Even other late-bloomers I know who never dated are getting dates now they're in their 30s. I still get nothing.


Don't give up. I have always wanted to date & get married & never have & think it's very unlikely I ever will, but don't give up, you never know!

I've gotten to the point that I almost don't want it anymore. My options are already horrible and will only get worse. I have had to endure another Christmas as the only single kid at the family parties and was just ignored. No kids and such so I just kinda exist. Christmas is not a fun time of year for me
 
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DragonFox91

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I am sad. I have always wanted to date & get married. But I can't even meet single girls. They are married or have boyfriends :pensive:

In high school I was too shy. I was better in college, but still working at it, & without an internship or campus job, I couldn't compete. It seems people meet their significant other's in high school or college. Now I am stuck. People said it gets a lot harder to meet singles after college, they are right.
I meet lots of people, & have met lots of people, but no one ever has a niece, daughter, or granddaughter. There is never a neighbor or coworker. If a girl is talkative to you, it turns out she has a boyfriend. She knows you can't do anything inapprorpriate to her because she has a boyfriend already. You always know they have a boyfriend because they'll mention them early on in conversation, and frequently too.
So if it's this hard meeting singles, how much harder it is to find one compatible w/ me, that I like & she likes me too. It's pretty impossible.
People tell me 'you've probably had one interested, you just couldn't recognize it.' No, I've only had a couple short friendships w/ girls. If you can call them friendships. They weren't deep or anything. & they didn't last very long, a few months to a year. I had thought it meant God was giving me practice for something long-term down the line w/ someone else, but it didn't happen.
Now I watch other people get dates, become a couple, get married, have children. Some people I know children are in elementary school already, & I've never even really been on a date. They did what I want in middle school, their own kids are almost there already, & in regards to girls, I'm still stuck in middle school. No matter how much progress I make, no matter how much I change & work on myself, it's never good enough.
I am 31 now. I s/ still have a lot of life yet God willing, but I've already missed out so much time w/ a girl. We didn't grow up together, we didn't go to school together, we didn't buy our first house or car together, or pet together. So much life & time has been wasted.
I've gotten to the point that I almost don't want it anymore. My options are already horrible and will only get worse. I have had to endure another Christmas as the only single kid at the family parties and was just ignored. No kids and such so I just kinda exist. Christmas is not a fun time of year for me
That's not good! They wouldn't invite you if they didn't want you there. Try being appreciate of what they have & talk to them about it. If the kids are young, play w/ them or talk to them.
 
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Sir Robbins

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I am sad. I have always wanted to date & get married. But I can't even meet single girls. They are married or have boyfriends :pensive:

In high school I was too shy. I was better in college, but still working at it, & without an internship or campus job, I couldn't compete. It seems people meet their significant other's in high school or college. Now I am stuck. People said it gets a lot harder to meet singles after college, they are right.
I meet lots of people, & have met lots of people, but no one ever has a niece, daughter, or granddaughter. There is never a neighbor or coworker. If a girl is talkative to you, it turns out she has a boyfriend. She knows you can't do anything inapprorpriate to her because she has a boyfriend already. You always know they have a boyfriend because they'll mention them early on in conversation, and frequently too.
So if it's this hard meeting singles, how much harder it is to find one compatible w/ me, that I like & she likes me too. It's pretty impossible.
People tell me 'you've probably had one interested, you just couldn't recognize it.' No, I've only had a couple short friendships w/ girls. If you can call them friendships. They weren't deep or anything. & they didn't last very long, a few months to a year. I had thought it meant God was giving me practice for something long-term down the line w/ someone else, but it didn't happen.

They wouldn't invite you if they didn't want you there. Try being appreciate of what they have & talk to them about it. If the kids are young, try playing w/ them or talking to them.

I am not a fan of kids in the slightest bit. I don't feel comfortable around them and do not want any of my own under any circumstances. I get what you're saying though.
 
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DragonFox91

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I am not a fan of kids in the slightest bit. I don't feel comfortable around them and do not want any of my own under any circumstances. I get what you're saying though.
I am still getting better w/ kids. There have been a couple times where I've had to meet new kids & have been apprehensive but the kids come to me. They look up to us who are older & want to share w/ us. It depends on the kids, tho. I certainly wasn't like that when I was little, so I've been surprised it happens, especially to me!
That's for elementary school & younger.

Plus, if all it means having a bit more fun at a little Christmas get-together, you don't have to worry about having your own!
 
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Lost Witness

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I am not a fan of kids in the slightest bit. I don't feel comfortable around them and do not want any of my own under any circumstances. I get what you're saying though.
Sad to hear that man.
At one Point I didn't like nor want kids myself either...

If not for the LORD Blessing and gifting me with my kids,
I likely wouldn't have Left the Occult when I did and may have never been saved?
But it's because of the concern I had for their safety that I got out of the occult in the first place.
I doubt i would've had the revelation about this just yesterday hadn't the LORD called me back to repent this year.
I'll be forever grateful to him for all he does and continues to do for me.
But I for one view children to be what they really are a GIFT,
though we might not always see it
 
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LoveDivine

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I am sad. I have always wanted to date & get married. But I can't even meet single girls. They are married or have boyfriends :pensive:

In high school I was too shy. I was better in college, but still working at it, & without an internship or campus job, I couldn't compete. It seems people meet their significant other's in high school or college. Now I am stuck. People said it gets a lot harder to meet singles after college, they are right.
I meet lots of people, & have met lots of people, but no one ever has a niece, daughter, or granddaughter. There is never a neighbor or coworker. If a girl is talkative to you, it turns out she has a boyfriend. She knows you can't do anything inapprorpriate to her because she has a boyfriend already. You always know they have a boyfriend because they'll mention them early on in conversation, and frequently too.
So if it's this hard meeting singles, how much harder it is to find one compatible w/ me, that I like & she likes me too. It's pretty impossible.
People tell me 'you've probably had one interested, you just couldn't recognize it.' No, I've only had a couple short friendships w/ girls. If you can call them friendships. They weren't deep or anything. & they didn't last very long, a few months to a year. I had thought it meant God was giving me practice for something long-term down the line w/ someone else, but it didn't happen.
Now I watch other people get dates, become a couple, get married, have children. Some people I know children are in elementary school already, & I've never even really been on a date. They did what I want in middle school, their own kids are almost there already, & in regards to girls, I'm still stuck in middle school. No matter how much progress I make, no matter how much I change & work on myself, it's never good enough.
I am 31 now. I s/ still have a lot of life yet God willing, but I've already missed out so much time w/ a girl. We didn't grow up together, we didn't go to school together, we didn't buy our first house or car together, or pet together. So much life & time has been wasted.

That's not good! They wouldn't invite you if they didn't want you there. Try being appreciate of what they have & talk to them about it. If the kids are young, play w/ them or talk to them.
For what it is worth, life is all about adjusting expectations. We all have dreams and ideas of what life will be or should be, but then the actual reality is often very different. It happens in one way or another to everyone. I understand the sadness. I think you would be much happier if you accept your circumstances. The most awful thing you can do to yourself is to focus on missed opportunities or what didn't happen. You will drive yourself mad. Instead, focus on what blessings you do have and what you can do to improve your situation. Also, you can experience true happiness and joy even if you don't meet someone. If you convince yourself that will you be miserable until you meet someone, you will be. I just turned 38 and it was always my desire to get married. I walked away from several opportunities, because I did not feel the relationships would be good for me spiritually. It was hard to do at the time, but I am at peace and I don't feel hard done by in life. In fact, with each year that passes I adjust more and more. It really is not such a tragedy if you don't get married. If we place too much value on anything in this life, we are destined for misery.

I don't mean you should give up though on trying to meet someone. We have no idea what the future holds and you could end up meeting someone tomorrow. My advice is to not waste this holiday season being miserable or focusing on singleness. Enjoy your Christmas. We have a limited number of holidays in life and it is a shame to squander any by fretting over the future
 
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Andrew.H

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I was praying to get married for many many years. I was praying to God to give me a husband and a family. But God gave it to all my friends. Husbands and children. I still keep their marriage's invitations, have pictures of their babies. When I see them I am crying. All I ask is what I 've done wrong. I spoke with them for their advices, I asked pastors their opinion. Their answers where different but also same. You are not ready. Your time has not come yet. Your past relationships delayed your blessings. Friends of mine argues with me when I say how sad and lonely I feel. They never been through this but this is how married treat singles and as years passing by it is getting worse.
Family and friends think that something wrong is going with me. They keep pushing to find someone because I am getting old. For years I was crying almost every night asking God to give me strenght and hope when loneliness was drowning me.
One night a thought came to my head, why are you asking God to help you? You ask His help all of this years and nothing happend. That night changed my life. I stopped praying. I stopped hope. I stopped waiting for a miracle. God doesn't care for me. He wants to see me in pain, loneliness and shame. I don't believe in Him anymore. I don't want to. I don't find a reason to do it. I stop calling my friends and share my thoughts. Many of them didnt care if I have days to call. They have families. They hung out with other families. I am nothing to their eyes. I am single. I don't understand them because I am single.
This is my life and I can't change it. No one cares, no one will ever love me. I am getting used to this new reality in my life and I am crying less now. Hugging my new revelation gives me more comford. But inside me I became dead cold. I don't feel anything. I see myself becoming cruel and bitter. You gonna ask me why I write all these? Because I haven't heard my voice for a long time. I have no one to listen to me. Maybe someone here will do and understand how really feel. Sorry for any mistakes in english language.
 
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peaceful-forest

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Are a lot of women okay w/ small weddings? I'd just like close family & friends & that's it. I'd love to get married but don't want a big wedding!
It differs by women. I used to be into weddings but I feel like now some are outrageous and unwise. Why spend so much money on a dress, venue, food, etc. for one day on a marriage that may or may not last?

If you want a small wedding, talk to your future fiance about it. Maybe she'll agree, maybe you'll have to compromise.
 
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Blaise N

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I was praying to get married for many many years. I was praying to God to give me a husband and a family. But God gave it to all my friends. Husbands and children. I still keep their marriage's invitations, have pictures of their babies. When I see them I am crying. All I ask is what I 've done wrong. I spoke with them for their advices, I asked pastors their opinion. Their answers where different but also same. You are not ready. Your time has not come yet. Your past relationships delayed your blessings. Friends of mine argues with me when I say how sad and lonely I feel. They never been through this but this is how married treat singles and as years passing by it is getting worse.
Family and friends think that something wrong is going with me. They keep pushing to find someone because I am getting old. For years I was crying almost every night asking God to give me strenght and hope when loneliness was drowning me.
One night a thought came to my head, why are you asking God to help you? You ask His help all of this years and nothing happend. That night changed my life. I stopped praying. I stopped hope. I stopped waiting for a miracle. God doesn't care for me. He wants to see me in pain, loneliness and shame. I don't believe in Him anymore. I don't want to. I don't find a reason to do it. I stop calling my friends and share my thoughts. Many of them didnt care if I have days to call. They have families. They hung out with other families. I am nothing to their eyes. I am single. I don't understand them because I am single.
This is my life and I can't change it. No one cares, no one will ever love me. I am getting used to this new reality in my life and I am crying less now. Hugging my new revelation gives me more comford. But inside me I became dead cold. I don't feel anything. I see myself becoming cruel and bitter. You gonna ask me why I write all these? Because I haven't heard my voice for a long time. I have no one to listen to me. Maybe someone here will do and understand how really feel. Sorry for any mistakes in english language.
Hi Andremeda!,

Welcomes from the US,I’ve been single for my entire life,and I’m 20.I felt the exact way you felt,loneliness and singleness,now I’d like to warn you that the thoughts you were having sound exactly like the devils garbage lies,don’t listen to them at all.

I’d also like to say that a spouse doesn’t define you,and even if you were married a marriage cannot even come close to the peace,hope,and joy that Jesus provides.I realized this and embraced it.Regardless wether I marry,true happiness comes from Jesus alone.I understand your hurt and sadness but take it to the Lord,he will set your path straight and aid you in your emotions.The Lord provides a greater relationship than marriage

I pray the Lord will comfort your deepest hurts and show you his love.turn your focus to him and focus on him,when you do that.Then,whenever he sees fit ,he may bless you with a husband.
 
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Blaise N

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Because I chose to. What kind of question is that?
Andromeda,I should say also,with all due respect and kindness that they are a very very unnerving “denomination”.I’ve never felt that they are proper teachers.They add the requirement of tongues(which is given as a gift,not a requirement for every believer)and require modest dress(which isn’t bad,but it should be desired not enforced).Anytime a church enforces legalistic ideas,it should be avoided.
 
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LoveDivine

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Are a lot of women okay w/ small weddings? I'd just like close family & friends & that's it. I'd love to get married but don't want a big wedding!
I would personally prefer a small wedding. I know other women that do too. I think this all depends on a person's cultural background, personality, lifestyle, etc. I think this is something that you can discuss after you have been dating for awhile.
 
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Blaise N

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Basically,Pentecostals require women to wear long skirts and wear their hair long.And men are required to wear jeans
 
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As a former raised-Pentecostal, that has not been my experience. MANY fringe groups do but mainline Protestant churches and even many Pentecostal groups do not enforce that kind of dress code. They may ask for some modicum of modesty but not to that extreme necessarily.
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