Is it possible to be too ugly to get IRL friends?

KJ91

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No, that's not honest or objective. I as a straight man would put your face/head at a 4. Doesn't mean you don't have other features that could bring that down, and the ladies may rate you differently.
If i where a 4, it would mean im normal looking guy, average. That would be fantastic. But no, as my sibblings told me today, when i showed them the 2 pics i posted on this forum, they said im a 1 of 10. Too ugly for anyone to wanna hang out with me. Guess what i told them? I said God loves me and that is enough.
 
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StillGods

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Bella never seen me IRL, my sibblings do.

My sibblings are brutally honest persons. They are saying the cold hard truth about everything,
I've seen your photos and usually photos can give a good idea of what people look like...unless you photoshopped them in your photos you honestly dont look ugly, you look great! it's weird your siblings say what they do.

You need to find a different source of feedback on who you are. ie. God and His Word - because this is the ultimate Truth about you, about everything. To go to any other source even siblings, is not going to be life giving to you because they are not God.

Currently you are listening to, believing in and therefore living under a very negative worldview, you need to renew your mind so that you are living in a Biblical worldview which is the way things really are because it is the Truth.

Seek God for help to do this. God tells us in His Word that if we seek Him with all our hearts we will find Him.

Father God, please help this dear one to find You in a very real way and be healed from this very wrong view they have of themselves. Please pour out Your Incredible love in a very tangible way so he is very aware of you in his life. please may he find the Truth about how much love you have for him, who He is in Christ and the plans you have for his life. Please give him an absolute passion for Your Word, that sets His heart on fire for you, I pray this for Your Glory, in Jesus Name, amen.
 
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Sketcher

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If i where a 4, it would mean im normal looking guy, average. That would be fantastic. But no, as my sibblings told me today, when i showed them the 2 pics i posted on this forum, they said im a 1 of 10. Too ugly for anyone to wanna hang out with me. Guess what i told them? I said God loves me and that is enough.
5 is average, 4 is below average. I'd prefer not to graphically describe 1 out of 10 because some of those people might read this. But trust me, you ain't that. There are things that could happen to you that would make you a 1, and they would be very painful. We'll just leave it at that.

I honestly think it's your downer attitude that would make people not want to hang out with you. There's a point where people give up hope on having a good, fun conversation with someone. Lots of negativity towards one's self is one thing that gets people there. Focus on being pleasant to talk to, being kind, being genuine. Be the kind of person you'd want to have talking to you. I found when I chose to be the kind of friend I wished I'd had earlier in life, that won me friendships.
 
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KJ91

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5 is average, 4 is below average. I'd prefer not to graphically describe 1 out of 10 because some of those people might read this. But trust me, you ain't that. There are things that could happen to you that would make you a 1, and they would be very painful. We'll just leave it at that.

I honestly think it's your downer attitude that would make people not want to hang out with you. There's a point where people give up hope on having a good, fun conversation with someone. Lots of negativity towards one's self is one thing that gets people there. Focus on being pleasant to talk to, being kind, being genuine. Be the kind of person you'd want to have talking to you. I found when I chose to be the kind of friend I wished I'd had earlier in life, that won me friendships.
What things could make someone a 1 that is too painful? Lets be honest here and talk about it.

I had good self-esteem for 16 years, and yet, i had no sucess. So its not about my downer attitude..
 
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KJ91

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I've seen your photos and usually photos can give a good idea of what people look like...unless you photoshopped them in your photos you honestly dont look ugly, you look great! it's weird your siblings say what they do.

You need to find a different source of feedback on who you are. ie. God and His Word - because this is the ultimate Truth about you, about everything. To go to any other source even siblings, is not going to be life giving to you because they are not God.

Currently you are listening to, believing in and therefore living under a very negative worldview, you need to renew your mind so that you are living in a Biblical worldview which is the way things really are because it is the Truth.

Seek God for help to do this. God tells us in His Word that if we seek Him with all our hearts we will find Him.

Father God, please help this dear one to find You in a very real way and be healed from this very wrong view they have of themselves. Please pour out Your Incredible love in a very tangible way so he is very aware of you in his life. please may he find the Truth about how much love you have for him, who He is in Christ and the plans you have for his life. Please give him an absolute passion for Your Word, that sets His heart on fire for you, I pray this for Your Glory, in Jesus Name, amen.
No, i did not photoshopped them.

My sibblings are brutally honest persons, about everything. They where not trying to bully me or anything.

If you are being honest, then you cant deny that im 1 of 10 on those 2 pictures.

Im living right now in a negative window because for 16 years i failed. So i realised im not good enough to get friends. There is no point
in keep trying to get friends. Im just gonna focus on God from now on.
 
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timewerx

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We're made in GODS Image.
GODS Likeness. does that mean the LORD himself who is perfect in every way both conceivably and inconceivably would make something 'ugly'
wouldn't even the least of his creations be beautiful?
" Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee"
Our "fallen" corruptible, fragile, naked body of flesh and blood isn't the image of God.

Our original body was like the stars of heaven. Angels are also made in the image of God and the Bible often describes angels as like the stars of heaven.

Our current bodies are corrupted flesh and would probably make us all ugly in the eyes of God.

Revelation 3:17
You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.
 
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bèlla

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Alright i get that you are just trying to be nice, but lying is a sin even if you are just doing it becuse you are trying to be nice. I mean its eazy to see
that im super ugly and deformed. Even my own sibblings told me that today. I showed them that pic. I posted another pic btw in that thread today.

I’m one of the few people in this place that will tell you truth devoid of lies and Christianese. If you were unattractive I wouldn’t pretend. So what’s the deal?

You’re an effigy. The person people abuse and crap on. While that’s bad what makes it worse—and long lasting—is your belief. You validate their negativity and ingest it. People often attack the things and situations that make them insecure and unsafe.

Let me tell you a story. I met a guy in my thirties. He was very attractive and expressed interest. But there was a caveat. He wanted me thinner and told me to meet his requirement and contact him when I did. I told him no. I didn’t cry or feel bad. I exceeded my mark and raised myself beyond that point.

We spoke two years later. He admitted his mistake within a week and acknowledged his interest once more. I turned him down. He reiterated it over the years and the answer was the same.

Am I thinner now? Of course. Will I have him? Never. The indignity won’t be set aside. I’m bella. Do you understand? I love myself too much…respect myself too much to allow anyone to devalue me. I raised my standard and my companions exceed him.

When people bet against you go higher. Don’t hang your head. Use adversity to your advantage.

~bella
 
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Sketcher

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What things could make someone a 1 that is too painful? Lets be honest here and talk about it.
I meant what I said earlier about not wanting to post it publicly, but check your DMs.

I had good self-esteem for 16 years, and yet, i had no sucess. So its not about my downer attitude..
The attitude does not help. It only makes things worse. It's possible that there is/was another personality issue that people just didn't like. It happens, unfortunately. I've known various people who have been on the wrong side of that, including myself.
 
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d taylor

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This is just of few of people who did not let their looks hinder their life.
Marty Feldman, Michael Berryman

These are actors above, but there are many unattractive people who are successful are in many areas of life and that are successful in what they do. They did not let how they looked hinder their life.

Van Gogh knew loneliness

“We feel lonely now and then and long for friends and think we should be quite different and happier if we found a friend of whom we might say: “He is the one.” But you, too, will begin to learn that there is much self-deception behind this longing; if we yielded too much to it, it would lead us from the road.”
― Vincent van Gogh, Complete Letters of van Gogh

“A great fire burns within me, but no one stops to warm themselves at it, and passers-by only see a wisp of smoke”
― Vincent Van Gogh, Complete Letters of van Gogh

“What am I in the eyes of most people — a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person — somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then — even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart. That is my ambition, based less on resentment than on love in spite of everything, based more on a feeling of serenity than on passion. Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me. I see paintings or drawings in the poorest cottages, in the dirtiest corners. And my mind is driven towards these things with an irresistible momentum.”
― Vincent Van Gogh, Complete Letters of van Gogh


Beethoven, also knew loneliness

“No friend have I. I must live by myself alone; but I know well that God is nearer to me than others in my art, so I will walk fearlessly with Him.”
- Ludwig van Beethoven
 
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timewerx

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When people bet against you go higher. Don’t hang your head. Use adversity to your advantage.

~bella

Have done this every time. Failed each time. As I try to meet a challenge, problems come and they stack on top of each other, the next one a lot worse. Maybe the Lord is teaching me not to care about this world, maybe.

I definitely stopped caring what people thinks about me no matter who they are. I still workout quite rigorously but that is mainly for health reasons due to many health risk factors in the family.
 
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Lost Witness

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Our "fallen" corruptible, fragile, naked body of flesh and blood isn't the image of God.
we are the image of Adam after he sinned,
who was made in GODS image.
Point to where in scripture it says Adams form changed?
What ages us or changes us is SIN.
these feelings are born of vanity, which is SIN
those negative feelings of self worth come from the world and the god of it,
which as we know due to scripture is currently the enemy.
 
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ElCamino

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Bella never seen me IRL, my sibblings do.

My sibblings are brutally honest persons. They are saying the cold hard truth about everything,

Based on that photo you're not ugly at all. You're perfectly normal. It seems that you have a very serious case of BDD (it wouldn't surprise me based on the way you describe your interactions with your siblings.)

I already got in trouble in another thread for bringing up BDD, I'm just giving you my opinion. It seems to me that your problem is in your head. I'm being 100% honest, you have a perfectly normal face.

If you get in good shape you can easily become an attractive man. You need to work from the inside out though; you'll never fix your situation with your current attitude.
 
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SeventhFisherofMen

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If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.

I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
Are you fr? who even says that to someone? End the friendship dude that's not healthy to be around. Based on the pic you don't even look ugly but even if you were if you have a good personality and are comfortable with yourself it shows. Idk maybe i'm not the best to talk cause i'm pretty self conscious myself but at the end of the day i view myself as average and you look average embrace the average look people feel comfortable around average.
 

timewerx

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we are the image of Adam after he sinned,
who was made in GODS image.
Point to where in scripture it says Adams form changed?
What ages us or changes us is SIN.
these feelings are born of vanity, which is SIN
those negative feelings of self worth come from the world and the god of it,
which as we know due to scripture is currently the enemy.

Adam lost immortality and became mortal. Incredible transformation. Serves a clue to an even more profound transformation that took place.
 
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Miles

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People who say such hurtful things aren't worth your time or energy. Rather than accepting their words or arguing with them, try keeping them at arm's length. Don't let them get too close. You look normal. Most individuals I meet throughout my day are probably above average in terms of looks, and you'd fit right in.

Applying a 1-10 scale to ourselves, however, is wasted energy. Although there are statistical trends when analyzing lots of accumulated data, the people you meet are individuals and beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder. Even if everybody was somehow objectively a 5, for instance, you'd find some more attractive than others. Maybe a full 1-10 scale's worth of difference. And even then, it shouldn't matter in terms of friendship.

If we're talking about women, there are bound to be some that consider you above average. Those are the ones to date. If we're talking about men, most of us don't care how other guys look. Although I'm straight and can't speak for what women find attractive, there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with you.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you've become a scapegoat for some of the people in your personal life. I would limit contact with them, and find your sense of purpose and meaning elsewhere. Maybe invest more time in your interests, education, and any talents that you might be neglecting. If you simply enjoy going for walks, do that rather than engage with anybody who calls you ugly. In the meantime, you might also read up on body dysmorphia.
 
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LoveDivine

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It seems like most guys want a girlfriend & get married. I do not get the feeling that is the case for girls.
Maybe not so much for secular girls, but most Christian girls are pretty determined to get married. I haven't really met any Christian women who didn't want to be married. I think our hedonistic hook up culture has really changed the perspective on marriage, but I would not waste any time worrying about what secular society is doing.
 
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DragonFox91

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Maybe not so much for secular girls, but most Christian girls are pretty determined to get married. I haven't really met any Christian women who didn't want to be married. I think our hedonistic hook up culture has really changed the perspective on marriage, but I would not waste any time worrying about what secular society is doing.
It's hard to say
 
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