Had the most ridiculous dispute. An hour of my life that I can't get back.

praying for you

The teachings in the NT says a Christian can do good for a non believing spouse. So in this case your father I think has the right Idea. Its a bit of a what if, to assume the faith of the wife, would be compromised. It can just as easily go the other way. A Christian wife can be a good influence on a wayward husband and bring him into the knowledge of The Lord Christ. In this your father is looking out for your brother. And family should do that.


1 Corinthians 7:14 kjv
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Really we should respect our parents too.
Even if in disagreement, arguing with parents is a no no.
God gave the commandment to honor father and mother for good reason. Its attached to the promise of a good fulfilling long life.


Exodus 20:12
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
Ephesians 6:2

Lady Bug said:

Hi, I'm not trying to badmouth my dad (I always preface it with this), but I'm very triggered by a dispute I had with him and I KNOW I'm right and he's wrong, and it's ABSURD beyond comprehension how it's even a debate.

My dad was telling me to find a woman for my brother, from church (I don't even have a home church, but I certainly don't go down that road in the discussion). I told him that a woman from church is not going to find my brother to be a match because my brother is not Catholic. In fact I don't even know what he is. He's into flat earth based on a literal interpretation of some stuff in the OT, but that doesn't mean he's Christian. He says the Koran teaches flat earth, so who the heck knows what his beliefs are. I don't like to talk to my brother about religious beliefs, or else I'd know more. Anyway my dad threw a hissy fit when I suggested that I didn't want to help because I don't want to facilitate the coupling of two people who are of different faiths. I feel it's very wrong for me to do this, given how much pain I've suffered. I feel it's wrong period. He just won't have it. I am preoccupied with my own problems. I was planning to talk to a couple people at my "home" parish about a problem that is torturing me, that I think is even demonic, and I don't want to make time for an errand that COMPLETELY goes against my conscience. COMPLETELY.

It still pains me like hell to this day that my parents were of two different faiths because it ruined my life IMHO (in spite of the fact that I've forgiven them!), and I'm not going to put two people together who are of different faiths because it brings me deep-seeded pain. I don't care if I look over the top. If some woman wants to compromise her faith and hook up with my brother that is her problem, but I'll be darned if I'm the one to get the ball rolling. It feels totally SINFUL for me to do this.

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I agree with you! You are not wrong.

Lady Bug said:

He's into flat earth

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He needs a flat woman. Bring home a lifesize cardboard stand up.

Life Size Cutout Stand Up Display

Lady Bug said:

Hi, I'm not trying to badmouth my dad (I always preface it with this), but I'm very triggered by a dispute I had with him and I KNOW I'm right and he's wrong, and it's ABSURD beyond comprehension how it's even a debate.

My dad was telling me to find a woman for my brother, from church (I don't even have a home church, but I certainly don't go down that road in the discussion). I told him that a woman from church is not going to find my brother to be a match because my brother is not Catholic. In fact I don't even know what he is. He's into flat earth based on a literal interpretation of some stuff in the OT, but that doesn't mean he's Christian. He says the Koran teaches flat earth, so who the heck knows what his beliefs are. I don't like to talk to my brother about religious beliefs, or else I'd know more. Anyway my dad threw a hissy fit when I suggested that I didn't want to help because I don't want to facilitate the coupling of two people who are of different faiths. I feel it's very wrong for me to do this, given how much pain I've suffered. I feel it's wrong period. He just won't have it. I am preoccupied with my own problems. I was planning to talk to a couple people at my "home" parish about a problem that is torturing me, that I think is even demonic, and I don't want to make time for an errand that COMPLETELY goes against my conscience. COMPLETELY.

It still pains me like hell to this day that my parents were of two different faiths because it ruined my life IMHO (in spite of the fact that I've forgiven them!), and I'm not going to put two people together who are of different faiths because it brings me deep-seeded pain. I don't care if I look over the top. If some woman wants to compromise her faith and hook up with my brother that is her problem, but I'll be darned if I'm the one to get the ball rolling. It feels totally SINFUL for me to do this.

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I agree, this is not a good idea, because they would each be compromising what they believe to be true, and you would be doing what you believe to be wrong.
There would be no difference in the situation if your father asked you to drive the "get-away car" for your brother if he wanted to commit a crime, or to go and buy a gun for him to do the crime with.
In all three cases you would be going against your conscious to do any of those things.
So tell your father you will have no part in it, and you will not introduce your brother to any Christian girls.

JohnRemnant said:

The teachings in the NT says a Christian can do good for a non believing spouse. So in this case your father I think has the right Idea. Its a bit of a what if, to assume the faith of the wife, would be compromised. It can just as easily go the other way. A Christian wife can be a good influence on a wayward husband and bring him into the knowledge of The Lord Christ. In this your father is looking out for your brother. And family should do that.


1 Corinthians 7:14 kjv
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Really we should respect our parents too.
Even if in disagreement, arguing with parents is a no no.
God gave the commandment to honor father and mother for good reason. Its attached to the promise of a good fulfilling long life.


Exodus 20:12
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
Ephesians 6:2

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Not to get off track, but you are wrong, because we are also told not to enter into marriage with an unbeliever.

Lady Bug said:

I didn't want to help because I don't want to facilitate the coupling of two people who are of different faiths. I feel it's very wrong for me to do this, given how much pain I've suffered. I feel it's wrong period.

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I agree. It is sensible not to meddle in matters of a marriage that is not your own. If the marriage does not work out, you the go-between, might be blamed.

Lady Bug said:

Hi, I'm not trying to badmouth my dad (I always preface it with this), but I'm very triggered by a dispute I had with him and I KNOW I'm right and he's wrong, and it's ABSURD beyond comprehension how it's even a debate.

My dad was telling me to find a woman for my brother, from church (I don't even have a home church, but I certainly don't go down that road in the discussion). I told him that a woman from church is not going to find my brother to be a match because my brother is not Catholic. In fact I don't even know what he is. He's into flat earth based on a literal interpretation of some stuff in the OT, but that doesn't mean he's Christian. He says the Koran teaches flat earth, so who the heck knows what his beliefs are. I don't like to talk to my brother about religious beliefs, or else I'd know more. Anyway my dad threw a hissy fit when I suggested that I didn't want to help because I don't want to facilitate the coupling of two people who are of different faiths. I feel it's very wrong for me to do this, given how much pain I've suffered. I feel it's wrong period. He just won't have it. I am preoccupied with my own problems. I was planning to talk to a couple people at my "home" parish about a problem that is torturing me, that I think is even demonic, and I don't want to make time for an errand that COMPLETELY goes against my conscience. COMPLETELY.

It still pains me like hell to this day that my parents were of two different faiths because it ruined my life IMHO (in spite of the fact that I've forgiven them!), and I'm not going to put two people together who are of different faiths because it brings me deep-seeded pain. I don't care if I look over the top. If some woman wants to compromise her faith and hook up with my brother that is her problem, but I'll be darned if I'm the one to get the ball rolling. It feels totally SINFUL for me to do this.

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Some people are able to accept and respect their individuality ... differences .... although they may not agree .... they are able to agree to disagree .... somewhat rare I'd say ... but some are able to do that.

As far as your individual conscience goes .... then you are not one of those ... and if you're not ... you're not and that is what you have decided and who you are ... and for you ... there is no other way to proceed in this matter ... in fact you can't.

Hooking a Christian woman up with a Muslim or a potential Muslim is an act of great evil against her. The wife of a Muslim has such a high likelihood of mistreatment.

JohnRemnant said:

The teachings in the NT says a Christian can do good for a non believing spouse. So in this case your father I think has the right Idea. Its a bit of a what if, to assume the faith of the wife, would be compromised. It can just as easily go the other way. A Christian wife can be a good influence on a wayward husband and bring him into the knowledge of The Lord Christ. In this your father is looking out for your brother. And family should do that.


1 Corinthians 7:14 kjv
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Really we should respect our parents too.
Even if in disagreement, arguing with parents is a no no.
God gave the commandment to honor father and mother for good reason. Its attached to the promise of a good fulfilling long life.


Exodus 20:12
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
Ephesians 6:2

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All these bible verses are regarding if you are already married to an unbeliever, they don't pertain to dating to getting married to one. If you are not married to an unbeliever, it is way best not to, you can maybe be their friend so you can witness to them, but as to being married, the bible says to not be unequally yoked and those two religions would definitely be unequally yoked.

Lady Bug said:

Hi, I'm not trying to badmouth my dad (I always preface it with this), but I'm very triggered by a dispute I had with him and I KNOW I'm right and he's wrong, and it's ABSURD beyond comprehension how it's even a debate.

My dad was telling me to find a woman for my brother, from church (I don't even have a home church, but I certainly don't go down that road in the discussion). I told him that a woman from church is not going to find my brother to be a match because my brother is not Catholic. In fact I don't even know what he is. He's into flat earth based on a literal interpretation of some stuff in the OT, but that doesn't mean he's Christian. He says the Koran teaches flat earth, so who the heck knows what his beliefs are. I don't like to talk to my brother about religious beliefs, or else I'd know more. Anyway my dad threw a hissy fit when I suggested that I didn't want to help because I don't want to facilitate the coupling of two people who are of different faiths. I feel it's very wrong for me to do this, given how much pain I've suffered. I feel it's wrong period. He just won't have it. I am preoccupied with my own problems. I was planning to talk to a couple people at my "home" parish about a problem that is torturing me, that I think is even demonic, and I don't want to make time for an errand that COMPLETELY goes against my conscience. COMPLETELY.

It still pains me like hell to this day that my parents were of two different faiths because it ruined my life IMHO (in spite of the fact that I've forgiven them!), and I'm not going to put two people together who are of different faiths because it brings me deep-seeded pain. I don't care if I look over the top. If some woman wants to compromise her faith and hook up with my brother that is her problem, but I'll be darned if I'm the one to get the ball rolling. It feels totally SINFUL for me to do this.

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I think your dad wants in. Just a little bit of nudging and he might convert.
I think it could bring your brother around, too. Prayers.
I find it odd he would want his son to marry a Catholic but probably because your mom was such a gem.

Prayers and nudges... prayers and nudges.

pdudgeon said:

Not to get off track, but you are wrong, because we are also told not to enter into marriage with an unbeliever.

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I don't think I'm wrong. The scriptures explains its a man and woman in marriage. How they get there is not important. But seeing the positive within the union. My parents were not believers, it didn't help. But I was born to eventually became one. Hardships along the way. But so much better for it. And thankful for God for my parents flaws and all. Now me, who was not even a factor in their unbelief, believe and can now share The Gospel with them and do.

So this choice should be between the husband and wife to be naturally unhindered. We are entering into a Judgment to assume a negative outcome, when marriage is what God wants. The natural order of Gods plans for man and woman to be together.
I'm looking at the positive. Plus scriptures that document this scenario as not all bad.

The only way one should be negative is if the husband plans; to interfere with the belief of the wife. If we have no word from the man that he'd do that to his own wife, and no indication from the woman that she'd allow that its a needless worry.

Its likely they would fall in love, mature one another, and the faith of the wife would strengthen the husband. And at the most, the Children would have a mother would to teach them The Faith of The Lord Christ. Or the children will learn of the faith and surpass both their parents and aid them.

But without man and woman together, no children result.
And Children is what God wants.

In this the father is very correct. And It would be a honor to introduce these two for this cause. To pout about what if negatives, based on personal view,
is selfish and shortsighted. More so when the man needs the positive influence. We don't know what would come of him without the believing wife. You all had a teacher in one form or another. And many people do in one form or another. Men naturally if its a good relationship cherish a good wife and her opinion.

If you wait for someone to be perfect they will never do a thing. And we should want the best for our family and not put them to such a high standard we ourselves are not perfectly adhering to. . If he is left alone to languish ,
he may not fair well and time is not on our side... Man was not made to be alone.

Lady Bug said:

If only this were true, or half true. Unfortunately that's not how it played out. At the beginning of the conversation my dad asked me if I knew of any woman I could introduce to my brother. I had told my dad (partly to placate him) that I would try to help him "find a woman" (even though I didn't think I ever could) provided that I knew what my brother was looking for in a woman. My dad said "he just wants a woman." I asked but what kind of woman? My dad goes "a good woman." I said that's not enough information, what kind of woman? He didn't give a definitive answer but casually suggested that maybe from church. And that's when I started telling him that a woman from church would most likely not be a good match because a woman from church will want someone with the same beliefs and my dad then got fired up and said that this doesn't matter if they have the same beliefs or not, and asked me at some point during the conversation "What's so great about Catholicism?" I can assure you, he's not looking to get into the church. If I thought that, the tone of my post would be totally different and I'd be sporting a happier vibe, no doubt about it.

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I'm sure you know all this. Yeah- in Islam men are allowed to marry Christian women. However- in Islam women are not allowed to marry Christian men. The double standard is real. His religion tells him that the Christian wife's religion is meaningless because their kids will be raised Muslim. It's abuse for the woman from the beginning. Your dad would just rather have a religious woman for his son because she would likely be more moral and less secular- which he perceives are being more in line with Islam- and he doesn't care if the woman is Christian because he knows the woman will compromise her faith for his son anyway.

JohnRemnant said:

I'm not wrong. The scriptures explains its a man and women in marriage. How they get there is not important. But seeing the positive within the union.

This should be between the husband and wife to be. We are entering into a Judgment to assume a negative when marriage is what God wants. The natural order of Gods plans for man and woman to be together.
I'm looking at the positive. Plus I gave scriptures that document this scenario.

The only way one should be negative, is if the husband plans to interfere with the belief of the wife, which we have no word from the man that he'd do that. And we have no indication from the woman that she'd allow that.

Its likely they would fall in love, mature one another, and the faith of the wife would strengthen the husband. And at the most, the Children would have a mother would to teach them The Faith of The Lord Christ.

Without the man and wife together, no children result.
And Children is what God wants.

In this the father is very correct. And It would be a honor to introduce these two for this cause. To pout about what if negatives, based on personal view,
is selfish and shortsighted. More so when the man needs the positive influence. We don't know what would come of him without the believing wife.

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There's a couple of things that you are forgetting.
1. Do not be unequally yoked.
God frowns on that!
2. The man naturally leads the wife in marriage, and has the majority say so in important decisions. The stronger one will always lead. (See #1 above).

JohnRemnant said:

I'm not wrong. The scriptures explains its a man and women in marriage. How they get there is not important. But seeing the positive within the union.

This should be between the husband and wife to be. We are entering into a Judgment to assume a negative when marriage is what God wants. The natural order of Gods plans for man and woman to be together.
I'm looking at the positive. Plus I gave scriptures that document this scenario.

The only way one should be negative, is if the husband plans to interfere with the belief of the wife, which we have no word from the man that he'd do that. And we have no indication from the woman that she'd allow that.

Its likely they would fall in love, mature one another, and the faith of the wife would strengthen the husband. And at the most, the Children would have a mother would to teach them The Faith of The Lord Christ.

Without the man and wife together, no children result.
And Children is what God wants.

In this the father is very correct. And It would be a honor to introduce these two for this cause. To pout about what if negatives, based on personal view,
is selfish and shortsighted. More so when the man needs the positive influence. We don't know what would come of him without the believing wife.

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All men ( save one) have the very best positive influence available to them:
That's God. Let God influence him before he weds. Otherwise, that man is not ready to be married.

Lady Bug said:

Hi, I'm not trying to badmouth my dad (I always preface it with this), but I'm very triggered by a dispute I had with him and I KNOW I'm right and he's wrong, and it's ABSURD beyond comprehension how it's even a debate.

My dad was telling me to find a woman for my brother, from church (I don't even have a home church, but I certainly don't go down that road in the discussion). I told him that a woman from church is not going to find my brother to be a match because my brother is not Catholic. In fact I don't even know what he is. He's into flat earth based on a literal interpretation of some stuff in the OT, but that doesn't mean he's Christian. He says the Koran teaches flat earth, so who the heck knows what his beliefs are. I don't like to talk to my brother about religious beliefs, or else I'd know more. Anyway my dad threw a hissy fit when I suggested that I didn't want to help because I don't want to facilitate the coupling of two people who are of different faiths. I feel it's very wrong for me to do this, given how much pain I've suffered. I feel it's wrong period. He just won't have it. I am preoccupied with my own problems. I was planning to talk to a couple people at my "home" parish about a problem that is torturing me, that I think is even demonic, and I don't want to make time for an errand that COMPLETELY goes against my conscience. COMPLETELY.

It still pains me like hell to this day that my parents were of two different faiths because it ruined my life IMHO (in spite of the fact that I've forgiven them!), and I'm not going to put two people together who are of different faiths because it brings me deep-seeded pain. I don't care if I look over the top. If some woman wants to compromise her faith and hook up with my brother that is her problem, but I'll be darned if I'm the one to get the ball rolling. It feels totally SINFUL for me to do this.

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A couple approaches ...

1. I don't get involved in "playing cupid".

2. Be truthful ... in a kind way .... we believe a man and a women should have the Lord at the center of their lives .... and that in marriage each of the two must have a compatibility with Christ first and share the same beliefs (as one) as that provides harmony and strength in the marriage. Something like that ????

Even so .... lead people to Christ, even if in tiny steps.

Lady Bug said:

If only this were true, or half true. Unfortunately that's not how it played out. At the beginning of the conversation my dad asked me if I knew of any woman I could introduce to my brother. I had told my dad (partly to placate him) that I would try to help him "find a woman" (even though I didn't think I ever could) provided that I knew what my brother was looking for in a woman. My dad said "he just wants a woman." I asked but what kind of woman? My dad goes "a good woman." I said that's not enough information, what kind of woman? He didn't give a definitive answer but casually suggested that maybe from church. And that's when I started telling him that a woman from church would most likely not be a good match because a woman from church will want someone with the same beliefs and my dad then got fired up and said that this doesn't matter if they have the same beliefs or not, and asked me at some point during the conversation "What's so great about Catholicism?" I can assure you, he's not looking to get into the church. If I thought that, the tone of my post would be totally different and I'd be sporting a happier vibe, no doubt about it.

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((((hugs))))) I am praying for you and for your family as well to be converted to the faith. I know it seems impossible, but NOTHING is impossible for the Lord to change or do.