Missed Mass without good reason for the first time in my Catholic life

spicoli said:

At least, I don't think it was a good enough reason. I wasn't feeling good, but not so badly that I should've missed. More I was livid about something and used how I was feeling physically as an excuse not to go.

I'm not in a good place.

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I take it your church doesn't have streaming services over the net. That might have been a way around your problem if you were angry at somebody and thought you wouldn't take the eucharist.

spicoli said:

At least, I don't think it was a good enough reason. I wasn't feeling good, but not so badly that I should've missed. More I was livid about something and used how I was feeling physically as an excuse not to go.

I'm not in a good place.

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The last time I was trying to weigh if I didn't feel well enough to go or should miss I opted to stay home and wondered the same thing -- do I really feel bad enough to warrant staying home? By that night I felt really bad and tested positive for COVID. So I was glad I didn't have to worry about who I might have infected. You never know, and there's that consideration too now.

spicoli said:

At least, I don't think it was a good enough reason. I wasn't feeling good, but not so badly that I should've missed. More I was livid about something and used how I was feeling physically as an excuse not to go.

I'm not in a good place.

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Well at least you care. That might count for something. I was on the edge of not going. Luckily I found a 6 pm Mass. Probably not too many parishes do this.

spicoli said:

At least, I don't think it was a good enough reason. I wasn't feeling good, but not so badly that I should've missed. More I was livid about something and used how I was feeling physically as an excuse not to go.

I'm not in a good place.

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We all do things at times that maybe were not the best choice. I have done things like that as well and then feel badly, I tell the Lord that I am sorry, accept His forgiveness and continue to live my life the best I can for Him.

spicoli said:

At least, I don't think it was a good enough reason. I wasn't feeling good, but not so badly that I should've missed. More I was livid about something and used how I was feeling physically as an excuse not to go.

I'm not in a good place.

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Perhaps tomorrow you will find yourself sick as a dog and you will retrospectively be happy you didn't expose anybody else.

I get it being livid. But it does no actual good to remain that way. It damages you more than anyone else. So if you don't get sick as a dog, or even if you do, confess it. Bad things are going on in the Catholic Church. We all know that. But we don't gain anything by skipping out. That is not the best course, tempting as it may be.

He understood.

Believe me, He understood.

Don’t beat up on yourself. You didn’t feel well, things happen.

chevyontheriver said:

Bad things are going on in the Catholic Church. We all know that. But we don't gain anything by skipping out.

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This must /ought to be realized, and taken seriously. A moral sense to keep away from church may well be because of, directly or indirectly, the bad things going on in the Church. This is a moral crisis for Catholics, and it is one that deserves righteous resolution. It is not a trivial problem! It is deep, as the corruption we have all seen, deep wide and high in the institution, is from some local parishes up to some in the Vatican.

The Church as Church is not corrupt - but it has been infiltrated, infected so to speak. There are still saints among us; the Lord is not absent but how offended He must be! And so, faithful souls in Him will also be greatly offended. The Father's House must be a house of prayer.

fide said:

This must /ought to be realized, and taken seriously. A moral sense to keep away from church may well be because of, directly or indirectly, the bad things going on in the Church. This is a moral crisis for Catholics, and it is one that deserves righteous resolution. It is not a trivial problem! It is deep, as the corruption we have all seen, deep wide and high in the institution, is from some local parishes up to some in the Vatican.

The Church as Church is not corrupt - but it has been infiltrated, infected so to speak. There are still saints among us; the Lord is not absent but how offended He must be! And so, faithful souls in Him will also be greatly offended. The Father's House must be a house of prayer.

Lk 19:45 And he entered the temple and began to drive out those who sold,
Lk 19:46 saying to them, "It is written, 'My house shall be a house of prayer'; but you have made it a den of robbers."
Lk 19:47 And he was teaching daily in the temple. The chief priests and the scribes and the principal men of the people sought to destroy him;​

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The historical example of the Christians of Alexandria during the period Arius controlled the patriarchate may be illustrative. Arius had placed Arian priests in the parishes. So plain people would walk into the desert on Sundays to find the hermits and hear the liturgy from them instead of staying close to home and having to endure an Arian liturgy.

I suspect the hikes into the desert were an all day affair. With access to automobiles for us that could easily translate to 150 miles one way.

Pope John Paul removed the requirement that one must be a member of the nearest parish. I THINK he did it so we could have the freedom to not be trapped in a bad parish.

Nobody, I hope, is contending that a well done Novus Ordo mass is invalid. Or even that a mediocre Novus Ordo mass is invalid. They are valid. But we get to pick the parish. If that means making a day trip so be it. The sacrifices of the Alexandrian Christians should encourage us. Far better than the other option of dropping out.

Lots of Catholics have dropped out for one reason or another. Some because the Catholic Church is too soft or too hard, too conservative or too liberal, too intolerant or too tolerant of sin, too gay or not gay enough, ever too old or too new. We should be able to find some place to worship that is within a few hours journey.

We should not put up with this infiltration. And I think it is an infiltration that has been surprisingly effective. It’s Jesus’ Church. It’s where we belong as a birthright. We are the sons and daughters of the true king. We should not be renouncing our birthright, or taking our marbles and going home. We should take our marbles to a good parish or a good abbey or a good hermitage.

Recently I have found a TLM at a monastery with 40 cloistered sisters. My only problem is the priests both have mumbled their Latin so badly I couldn’t understand much at all. And I had years of Latin back in high school, and even used it in college and afterwards. Go figure. Not very appealing. With Latin readings only. I could say it’s all Greek to me. Even with a Latin English guide, it was so fast I could not keep up.

I want to bring up Ralph Martin. He was in town recently for a priests retreat. He gets it. And he does not hold his punches. With folks like him around there is abundant hope even in dark times.

chevyontheriver said:

The historical example of the Christians of Alexandria during the period Arius controlled the patriarchate may be illustrative. Arius had placed Arian priests in the parishes. So plain people would walk into the desert on Sundays to find the hermits and hear the liturgy from them instead of staying close to home and having to endure an Arian liturgy.

I suspect the hikes into the desert were an all day affair. With access to automobiles for us that could easily translate to 150 miles one way.

Pope John Paul removed the requirement that one must be a member of the nearest parish. I THINK he did it so we could have the freedom to not be trapped in a bad parish.

Nobody, I hope, is contending that a well done Novus Ordo mass is invalid. Or even that a mediocre Novus Ordo mass is invalid. They are valid. But we get to pick the parish. If that means making a day trip so be it. The sacrifices of the Alexandrian Christians should encourage us. Far better than the other option of dropping out.

Lots of Catholics have dropped out for one reason or another. Some because the Catholic Church is too soft or too hard, too conservative or too liberal, too intolerant or too tolerant of sin, too gay or not gay enough, ever too old or too new. We should be able to find some place to worship that is within a few hours journey.

We should not put up with this infiltration. And I think it is an infiltration that has been surprisingly effective. It’s Jesus’ Church. It’s where we belong as a birthright. We are the sons and daughters of the true king. We should not be renouncing our birthright, or taking our marbles and going home. We should take our marbles to a good parish or a good abbey or a good hermitage.

Recently I have found a TLM at a monastery with 40 cloistered sisters. My only problem is the priests both have mumbled their Latin so badly I couldn’t understand much at all. And I had years of Latin back in high school, and even used it in college and afterwards. Go figure. Not very appealing. With Latin readings only. I could say it’s all Greek to me. Even with a Latin English guide, it was so fast I could not keep up.

I want to bring up Ralph Martin. He was in town recently for a priests retreat. He gets it. And he does not hold his punches. With folks like him around there is abundant hope even in dark times.

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The Arian heresy comparison is a good one.

My question, and it is sincere -- do we really think there was a time when the Church wasn't a mess? I don't think so. I just think we know about all the problems more easily now due to our communication methods. We're bombarded with the bad news all the time.

A hundred years ago sitting in the US we wouldn't have known the German bishops are a mess. We wouldn't have known about the sexual abuse problem but I am confident it was there, or has at least been there at other times in history (I can't remember now the saint who addressed it about 1000 years ago?) We know the Church was a mess at the time Protestantism showed up. I just don't think there was ever a time when there weren't significant problems in the Church with people not living up to their calling, with the possible exception of the first centuries when the persecutions were so bad. That will tend to cause an exit of those who faith is not real and deep.

It's why Jesus told the parables about the weeds and the wheat. The weeds will be there until the end of time when the separation will happen.

We should support that which is good and true in the Church, those clergy who are faithful, and those practices that lead to holiness. Our role is simply to remain faithful, and influence whatever out little spot may be. And recognize this is nothing new, and we need to better prepare people for that reality and how to persevere.

Ralph Martin had his head on right about this every time I listen to him.

spicoli said:

Personally no. I think there were more ideal times in Church history like the Apostolic Era, maybe the first half of the second millennium and such but really we could find fault with any of those times. We could say that the first millennium was great because the Church hadn't split in two yet but that's also not really true. The east-west schism had been building for a couple centuries, and while every council was more or less a good thing it's also kind of a signpost that things were really bad in the Church because it took a council to address a problem.

I agree with you 100% the problem today is exacerbated 1000-fold because everyone is privy to every minute detail of the Church's inner-workings. So now people who maybe have no business speculating have Twitter accounts and YouTube channels to do nothing but that.

Even 100 years ago, much less for the preceding 1,900 before that in Church history, the average lay Catholic hardly even knew who the Pope was let alone what his passing thoughts on immigration are. Their business was their parish and maybe their diocese in the broadest sense, but beyond that there was no reason to know the daily business of the Vatican and they were no poorer for not knowing. I wish we could go back to that but so long as social media exists that's a problem we'll have to live with.

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We may have to live with it but we don't have to let it distract us from our mission.

Much of what is reported as news even in the Catholic world is speculation and is often filtered through the lens of the person reporting and has their bias and slant. Perceptions are the devil's playground. We have to learn to stay focused and on track. And trust.

narnia59 said:

.....

Ralph Martin had his head on right about this every time I listen to him.

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What exactly was he right about?

fide said:

What exactly was he right about?

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While he recognizes there are many problems in the Church and doesn't think we should bury out heads in the sand, he understands historically this is nothing new and that the real danger is that we allow those problems to distract us or make us feel hopeless and then we lose sight of our vocation to holiness as the most important thing.

That's my take, Chevy may have a different one or something else to add.

I've probably got the opposite problem. I don't miss mass very often, but sometimes I feel like a hypocrite for going, as I know I'm not exactly in a state of grace.

But I usually go anyway.

Bob Crowley said:

I've probably got the opposite problem. I don't miss mass very often, but sometimes I feel like a hypocrite for going, as I know I'm not exactly in a state of grace.

But I usually go anyway.

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If you skipped you would be more comfortable but you would be comfortably sliding into a state of ever diminishing grace. So it’s good that you go, good that there is some discomfort, and will be good when it is resolved. God is not done with you.

narnia59 said:

The Arian heresy comparison is a good one.

My question, and it is sincere -- do we really think there was a time when the Church wasn't a mess? I don't think so. I just think we know about all the problems more easily now due to our communication methods. We're bombarded with the bad news all the time.

A hundred years ago sitting in the US we wouldn't have known the German bishops are a mess. We wouldn't have known about the sexual abuse problem but I am confident it was there, or has at least been there at other times in history (I can't remember now the saint who addressed it about 1000 years ago?) We know the Church was a mess at the time Protestantism showed up. I just don't think there was ever a time when there weren't significant problems in the Church with people not living up to their calling, with the possible exception of the first centuries when the persecutions were so bad. That will tend to cause an exit of those who faith is not real and deep.

It's why Jesus told the parables about the weeds and the wheat. The weeds will be there until the end of time when the separation will happen.

We should support that which is good and true in the Church, those clergy who are faithful, and those practices that lead to holiness. Our role is simply to remain faithful, and influence whatever out little spot may be. And recognize this is nothing new, and we need to better prepare people for that reality and how to persevere.

Ralph Martin had his head on right about this every time I listen to him.

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Ralph Martin is a modern Damian.

spicoli said:

I should clarify that my anger wasn't targeted at the Church on Sunday. I am mad about that, but that wasn't my issue then. It was a family thing that cheesed me off.

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It would have been totally understandable if it were. Prayers for that situation.