Adulthood

yuppers

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Hello, I’m a 28 year old male. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. For the past few years I’ve been struggling more than normal again. I can’t seem to find comfort no matter what I try. When I’m with people I’m awkward and uncomfortable. When I’m alone I ponder to much about problems… I don’t understand how I have to work my entire life just for food and shelter. My work performance is slow and constantly mistakes arise. That deepens the mental struggles. Then I wake up and have to deal with it again on a daily basis. I can’t afford to change jobs/careers because I’m barely getting by as is…
I’m also getting a fair amount of pressure to figure out my situation with the ladies. I feel like others are looking down on me because I’m not in a relationship. I have so much pressure with anxiety, work, and living I can’t imagine bringing another person into my mess of a life.
I hope nobody is burdened by what said. Is there something I’m missing? What’s the definition of “fixed”? Some have it so good and some have it even harder.
 

Jonaitis

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Hello, I’m a 28 year old male. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. For the past few years I’ve been struggling more than normal again. I can’t seem to find comfort no matter what I try. When I’m with people I’m awkward and uncomfortable. When I’m alone I ponder to much about problems… I don’t understand how I have to work my entire life just for food and shelter. My work performance is slow and constantly mistakes arise. That deepens the mental struggles. Then I wake up and have to deal with it again on a daily basis. I can’t afford to change jobs/careers because I’m barely getting by as is…
I’m also getting a fair amount of pressure to figure out my situation with the ladies. I feel like others are looking down on me because I’m not in a relationship. I have so much pressure with anxiety, work, and living I can’t imagine bringing another person into my mess of a life.
I hope nobody is burdened by what said. Is there something I’m missing? What’s the definition of “fixed”? Some have it so good and some have it even harder.
I'm a 26 year old male, and I understand where you are coming from. I think a lot of us are under the same pressure, and often I feel like there will be a breaking point at any moment just waiting to happen. It is hard, and I always think that things will get better, even though I don't always see the kind of change I expect in my life. I try to trust God everyday that everything will work out, and leave it into His hands. He is the only one who knows, and truly care about us in our circumstances. I say, keep up the good fight, you're not alone brother. I try to turn circumstances into opportunities for ministry, and find self-fulfilling purpose in it, instead of seeing myself wandering in the dark in God's unfolding plan in my life.

Here's a verse that always encourages me:
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to You; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You.
- Psalm 139:11-12
 
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timf

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Depression is tricky because there are many experiments one can do to see what helps like, nutrition, supplements, exercise, and even medication (one should be cautious as the side effects can be pronounced). However, depression can be like loosing the desire to even try to fix things.

Here the Christian has a bit of an advantage. Even when depression may have a totally physiological basis, one can draw strength from the Lord.

Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

It might be beneficial to summon strength to attempt to find ways the depression can be minimized.

One thing to let go of is using what other people may think as a club to beat yourself up with.
 
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TzephanYahu

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When I’m with people I’m awkward and uncomfortable. When I’m alone I ponder to much about problems… I don’t understand how I have to work my entire life just for food and shelter. My work performance is slow and constantly mistakes arise. That deepens the mental struggles. Then I wake up and have to deal with it again on a daily basis. I can’t afford to change jobs/careers because I’m barely getting by as is…

I understand your woes my friend. I've been there before!

I was like this (and can get like this) when my head is too much "in the world" and on focussed on worldly things, both problems and pleasurable distractions. Without the correctperspective of what this is all about, what is to come, who we really are and what is destined for us - life is pretty bleak, repetitive, awkward, meaningless and fruitless. But feeling this way is good, as it reminds you that you are straying too far off the path. So let's get back to it, using these negative feelings as the motive and fuel to get you there.

Is there something I’m missing?

Change your focus. When you focus on Yahweh, His Kingdom, His Word and Way and the Messiah, it brings great peace to your soul. I can't explain it beyond that, but it does. A peace that cannot be disturbed or lost easily. Keep in mind, this is not something you do just once and neither is it something you do to get a "top-up" every few week. No, it needs to be your focus. What your heart is set on. What you study and what you miss when you don't. A puzzle to unlock and a painting to admire.

"Great peace have those who love Your law,
And nothing causes them to stumble." - Psalm 119:165

How true this is. But even if you don't yet love His Word - study it anyway and the love and peace will come from your diligence - definitely.

For now, I would advise reading all of Psalm 119 and meditating upon it. It's the longest Psalm so it's not a short read. But it is a journey written by David that is full of peaks and troughs - good times and bad times and how he found peace and rest throughout all those times.

If you have any questions about anything I've written, please don't hesitate to reply.

May the Most High led you to calm waters.
 
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Freth

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Hello, I’m a 28 year old male. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. For the past few years I’ve been struggling more than normal again. I can’t seem to find comfort no matter what I try. When I’m with people I’m awkward and uncomfortable. When I’m alone I ponder to much about problems… I don’t understand how I have to work my entire life just for food and shelter. My work performance is slow and constantly mistakes arise. That deepens the mental struggles. Then I wake up and have to deal with it again on a daily basis. I can’t afford to change jobs/careers because I’m barely getting by as is…
I’m also getting a fair amount of pressure to figure out my situation with the ladies. I feel like others are looking down on me because I’m not in a relationship. I have so much pressure with anxiety, work, and living I can’t imagine bringing another person into my mess of a life.
I hope nobody is burdened by what said. Is there something I’m missing? What’s the definition of “fixed”? Some have it so good and some have it even harder.

I know what it's like to be awkward and uncomfortable around people. I was verbally abused when I was younger, so it caused me to seek peace and quiet within myself to cope with loud noises, which included being around people. How did I fix it? I made friends and became more social, and my job required that I communicate with customers, which helped me open up.

Work performance is a reflection of the state of mind you're in. If you love your job, you will come to work and do your best, because you care about doing a good job. If you hate your job, you will dread going into work. There is also somewhere in between where you sometimes love and sometimes hate your job, which is okay.

I was in a job where I was at the end of my rope, and I couldn't see myself doing the same thing until retirement, so I took advantage of the options available to me at the company where I worked. I studied and passed a electronics and digital tests, which opened up internal job opportunities. All I had to do was bid on them when they came open. I bid on a tech job in a city nearby and I made that my focus for the remainder of my career, which was 22 years.

My tech job was high stress, but it was a job that I found to be middle-of-the-road, in that I loved it and hated it at times, but I never felt as bad as I did in my previous position, dreading coming to work. I made it to my 30 year mark; I retired the end of the month after my birthday, when I had my full 30 years in.

I have been single most of my life. I never got married, and I never had kids. I've dated plenty in my lifetime, but it never happened for whatever reason. I wouldn't let anyone influence me one way or the other concerning finding a female companionship. It happens in good time, and when you least expect it, but it won't happen if you hide within yourself.

What I'd be concerned more with is opening myself up to social interaction, and getting comfortable with communicating with others. It doesn't mean you can't have your quiet space, you still can. If you don't socialize, you will never find a companion. You have to put yourself out there if that's what you want, and talk to people. If you don't want a companion at this time in your life, then don't allow other people to push you into something you don't want. My own father tried to set me up on a date, because I wasn't dating. I told him no, I don't want to date right now.

The trials of life, and the mental issues we all wrestle with, are normal. None of us are immune to it. You can find peace in a devout Christian life. I can tell you, yes it's peaceful to withdraw within yourself, and that might feel comfortable and warming, but there is no peace like the kind you find in Jesus. Give your struggles and worry to Him in prayer. Put your faith in Him and allow Him to give you peace in your life. If you are unhappy with your job, pray and ask Him to help you get into a new one. He will make it happen.

God bless!
 
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disciple Clint

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Hello, I’m a 28 year old male. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. For the past few years I’ve been struggling more than normal again. I can’t seem to find comfort no matter what I try. When I’m with people I’m awkward and uncomfortable. When I’m alone I ponder to much about problems… I don’t understand how I have to work my entire life just for food and shelter. My work performance is slow and constantly mistakes arise. That deepens the mental struggles. Then I wake up and have to deal with it again on a daily basis. I can’t afford to change jobs/careers because I’m barely getting by as is…
I’m also getting a fair amount of pressure to figure out my situation with the ladies. I feel like others are looking down on me because I’m not in a relationship. I have so much pressure with anxiety, work, and living I can’t imagine bringing another person into my mess of a life.
I hope nobody is burdened by what said. Is there something I’m missing? What’s the definition of “fixed”? Some have it so good and some have it even harder.
How about joining a support group, get with others who share some of the same challenges that you do, there are even some available on line.
 
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