Hello, I’m a 28 year old male. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. For the past few years I’ve been struggling more than normal again. I can’t seem to find comfort no matter what I try. When I’m with people I’m awkward and uncomfortable. When I’m alone I ponder to much about problems… I don’t understand how I have to work my entire life just for food and shelter. My work performance is slow and constantly mistakes arise. That deepens the mental struggles. Then I wake up and have to deal with it again on a daily basis. I can’t afford to change jobs/careers because I’m barely getting by as is…
I’m also getting a fair amount of pressure to figure out my situation with the ladies. I feel like others are looking down on me because I’m not in a relationship. I have so much pressure with anxiety, work, and living I can’t imagine bringing another person into my mess of a life.
I hope nobody is burdened by what said. Is there something I’m missing? What’s the definition of “fixed”? Some have it so good and some have it even harder.
I know what it's like to be awkward and uncomfortable around people. I was verbally abused when I was younger, so it caused me to seek peace and quiet within myself to cope with loud noises, which included being around people. How did I fix it? I made friends and became more social, and my job required that I communicate with customers, which helped me open up.
Work performance is a reflection of the state of mind you're in. If you love your job, you will come to work and do your best, because you care about doing a good job. If you hate your job, you will dread going into work. There is also somewhere in between where you sometimes love and sometimes hate your job, which is okay.
I was in a job where I was at the end of my rope, and I couldn't see myself doing the same thing until retirement, so I took advantage of the options available to me at the company where I worked. I studied and passed a electronics and digital tests, which opened up internal job opportunities. All I had to do was bid on them when they came open. I bid on a tech job in a city nearby and I made that my focus for the remainder of my career, which was 22 years.
My tech job was high stress, but it was a job that I found to be middle-of-the-road, in that I loved it and hated it at times, but I never felt as bad as I did in my previous position, dreading coming to work. I made it to my 30 year mark; I retired the end of the month after my birthday, when I had my full 30 years in.
I have been single most of my life. I never got married, and I never had kids. I've dated plenty in my lifetime, but it never happened for whatever reason. I wouldn't let anyone influence me one way or the other concerning finding a female companionship. It happens in good time, and when you least expect it, but it won't happen if you hide within yourself.
What I'd be concerned more with is opening myself up to social interaction, and getting comfortable with communicating with others. It doesn't mean you can't have your quiet space, you still can. If you don't socialize, you will never find a companion. You have to put yourself out there if that's what you want, and talk to people. If you don't want a companion at this time in your life, then don't allow other people to push you into something you don't want. My own father tried to set me up on a date, because I wasn't dating. I told him no, I don't want to date right now.
The trials of life, and the mental issues we all wrestle with, are normal. None of us are immune to it. You can find peace in a devout Christian life. I can tell you, yes it's peaceful to withdraw within yourself, and that might feel comfortable and warming, but there is no peace like the kind you find in Jesus. Give your struggles and worry to Him in prayer. Put your faith in Him and allow Him to give you peace in your life. If you are unhappy with your job, pray and ask Him to help you get into a new one. He will make it happen.
God bless!