But sometimes its hard to bear if you meet a single that you could like, and there is some chemistry, but then find out one of these above issues about her that becomes a deal breaker now or later on when things get serious.
It's difficult if the need for companionship is greater than the goal. If you know you require certain things or can't live with specific elements you won't compromise. Because emotion and scarcity aren't in the drivers seat. And you've gotta believe you can get it. You'll be afraid to say no if you don't believe you'll have another opportunity.
You have to know your risk tolerance going in and your ability to wait. You shouldn't set a lofty goal if endurance is hard or the likelihood of attainment is scarce. It should be realistic with room for compromise.
The problem in most cases is the ask. Everyone has a list. But few take the time to consider it from the other's perspective. What does a man or woman like the one you described seek in their partner? And do you match it? This is how a lot of people get overlooked. They see the other's potential but there must be reciprocity. They have to see your value too in relation to them.
One of the ways you can determine if your targets are realistic is the response rate. Never mind the statistics. If you can't get a nibble it isn't just the Internet. You may be approaching someone who would never consider you otherwise. In this space or elsewhere.
That's why its important to pay attention to attractions. Who responds to you when you're not the initiator? If you're out and about who's noticing or trying to catch your eye or making small talk? That gives you some insight. People think they'll come online and magically nab the guy or girl they couldn't get elsewhere and it rarely happens.
Sometimes a lady can say that she has a boyfriend as a soft rejection. If a lady likes you enough and is looking to trade-up she might downplay or deny she has a bf all together.
Let me tell you something about hypergamy. The low level stuff isn't the real deal. They're wannabes. A woman who's in that game isn't interacting with men outside the sphere she's targeting. She's after a bigger catch and is willing to become what she needs to get him. She doesn't expect him to compromise. She becomes the package that's hard to resist.
All the talk about money and trading up is nonsense. No one wedded to that path is considering someone who doesn't have what they're seeking. They're contemplating them but the interest isn't returned. It's no different from someone looking at you that you'd never consider. Morality aside, everybody's biased.
ETA: Some people of that stripe get 'meantime' companions. People they deal with en route to their ideal. I don't agree with that either. It's deplorable.
We all scrutinize. Every one of us. I don't agree with gold digging. But you don't get a pass for chasing beauty either. Most of the gripes are the result of bruised egos. They can't get the one they want and don't want the one they can. "I deserve better than that."
The reason people downplay their circumstances or bend the truth is to avoid the conversation or negative reaction. Some people can't take no for an answer and think persistence is best. To avoid it they say they're with someone.