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I believe that post of Wendy's was originally directed to me. My answer defended the role of man's will in his salvation, according to God's sovereign discretion. In ancient church teachings man can’t possibly turn himself to God; he cannot find God, but he can still refuse to be found, refuse to come to Him when He calls or open the door when He knocks. Man can also shut the door later, refusing to remain in Him, turning back away; man can say “no” to God. If God’s will is always done, why do we pray that it be done on earth as it is in heaven? Or why is God patiently waiting for us to come to Him, not wanting any to perish as per 2 Pet 3:9 if not for the possibility of our not being saved? What’s the hold-up, other than man's will?
And if salvation is universal as the OP maintains, then for what possible reason would God submit humans to centuries of pain, evil, victimization, sin? Why not just put everyone in heaven if that’s the idea anyway, without regard to man’s will? And why would I even care if I blasphemed, if salvation is universal?? In truth, nothing will separate us from the love of God except for our own lack of love in return, our own failure to respond in faith, hope, and love. Man’s the wildcard, always has been; that’s what allowed Adam to fall to begin with: by the abuse of the good gift of his freedom.
And that's why we need revelation and grace, revelation in order to know God and His will, and then grace in order to be capable of believing in and obeying it, obeying Him.
Not to defend the one who wrote you, as I have no truck with Universalism, but God can do as he sees fit by whatever means he pleases, and our opinion has no merit if it conflicts with what he does. The fact it doesn't make sense to us "matters precisely nothing" as I think one of CS Lewis' friends put it.
Congratulations on being the first I remember hearing, to bring up the question of why should God need to patiently wait, not wanting any to perish as per 2 Pet 3:9, if he is the one who brings them, or as Reformed teaching puts it, if they can't come until they are first regenerated by the Spirit of God. The question of why God should need to wait is a good one, and works even if the "any" referred to there, are necessarily the elect.
But the question only works if the book is written to only elect. It is written to both elect, and to supposedly elect, to stimulate them to wholesome thinking (3:1). Peter, Paul, etc, and even Christ, speak to the supposedly-elect as though they were elect, and to the elect as if they must affirm their election by their willing choice (and indeed they must, as we say in my family, "We do so, because it is so." The weeds and the crop grow together.)
Anyway, the whole direction of the chapter concerns the whole of the church. God is not going to close the case until all the elect, all that belong to Christ, are saved. Many of them had not even been born yet, and, I would guess, many still have not yet been born even today. The notion of them perishing, is rhetorical, as would be supposed, since they have not so far been regenerated, and some not even born.
Notice too, that the theme of salvation isn't specifically mentioned in the immediate context. What IS mentioned is repentance, which isn't the same thing as salvation, nor as regeneration, but a result of regeneration. One's choice to repent happens in God's time, and if it doesn't happen, regeneration has not happened. Them perishing, even if alive in Peter's time, is rhetorical, since they would perish, if they don't repent.
I understand that answer will be unsatisfactory to you, though not because of reasoning and scripture alone, but because of false presuppositions, to include the mindset of the human POV of free will. I find it satisfying, but it would be better if I could get into the larger theme of "God in us". For now, try to let the idea of "Apart from me, you can do nothing" suffice in place of a thorough treatment of that larger theme.
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