- Jul 4, 2021
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Hi everyone
I’ve been doing some researching,and upon coming up on a theology that I have embraced that many claim is false and now I’m in a panic.
So the thing that I’ve believed is “Lordship salvation,which teaches someone must submit to Jesus completely and repent From sin and change their lives” which is taught by reformed theologians compared to the opposite which is “a person is so thankful for their sins from being forgiven that they change their ways and follow Jesus”
what I’m afraid of is I’ve committed apostasy,believing a false teaching.So I’m asking how I can’t repent of it.I guess the problem for awhile has been me lacking a grace and me thinking I’ve been needing to do something more.
But what concerns me deeply,is that the “Free grace” family I was raised in and when I started believing for real in Jesus at 15,I embraced the theology my family holds,but I guess I’ve misinterpreted Repentance,as changing instead of turning.
I’m even more concerned because I don’t feel any conviction nor sorrow over sins of the past.So now I’m worried I may not be saved at all and even more worried I’ve committed apostasy and believing a false doctrine.
Like I’ve asked before,what theology is correct,because as I was reading,I had a thought pass that said “which one is right,this is so confusing,I should just give up” but I refused that thought.I even more worry about it because I’m scared of committing it,I don’t want to give up,but I’m afraid I already have.I’m even more scared because I’m afraid I’m an atheist who “thinks the Bible is mind control or know the secrets of how they manipulate you” which is a terrible thought I don’t want to ever think again.
And an even scarier thought came to mind saying “I’m tired of repenting”
I even read on a site called salvationcall.com
That a heretic is an apostate and never forgivable.And now I’m so scared that at 19 I’m an apostate(I almost said agnostic which is scaring me even more),or a heretic.
It’s even scarier because I was raised in a “Free grace” family but still had sin,I committed the sin of masturbation,inappropriate contentography,coarse jesting,cussing,lusting,and serving the Lord out of selfish motives,but I had taken the Lords supper while still in sin,which makes me remember Hebrews 6:4-6, the Orr about tasting the heavenly gift,but when the pandemic hit,my family stopped going to church to stay safe (the church we went to,I never heard of repentance and it welcomed a lesbian couple) which caused me concern.I began to take biblical advice from GotQuestions and I believe I fell into believing reformed doctrines and I’m now scared after being deceived for a year I’m a heretic and apostate,and I’m suffering rebellious thoughts and Intrusive thoughts that I’m fighting.I’m very very scared and worried.
I’ve been doing some researching,and upon coming up on a theology that I have embraced that many claim is false and now I’m in a panic.
So the thing that I’ve believed is “Lordship salvation,which teaches someone must submit to Jesus completely and repent From sin and change their lives” which is taught by reformed theologians compared to the opposite which is “a person is so thankful for their sins from being forgiven that they change their ways and follow Jesus”
what I’m afraid of is I’ve committed apostasy,believing a false teaching.So I’m asking how I can’t repent of it.I guess the problem for awhile has been me lacking a grace and me thinking I’ve been needing to do something more.
But what concerns me deeply,is that the “Free grace” family I was raised in and when I started believing for real in Jesus at 15,I embraced the theology my family holds,but I guess I’ve misinterpreted Repentance,as changing instead of turning.
I’m even more concerned because I don’t feel any conviction nor sorrow over sins of the past.So now I’m worried I may not be saved at all and even more worried I’ve committed apostasy and believing a false doctrine.
Like I’ve asked before,what theology is correct,because as I was reading,I had a thought pass that said “which one is right,this is so confusing,I should just give up” but I refused that thought.I even more worry about it because I’m scared of committing it,I don’t want to give up,but I’m afraid I already have.I’m even more scared because I’m afraid I’m an atheist who “thinks the Bible is mind control or know the secrets of how they manipulate you” which is a terrible thought I don’t want to ever think again.
And an even scarier thought came to mind saying “I’m tired of repenting”
I even read on a site called salvationcall.com
That a heretic is an apostate and never forgivable.And now I’m so scared that at 19 I’m an apostate(I almost said agnostic which is scaring me even more),or a heretic.
It’s even scarier because I was raised in a “Free grace” family but still had sin,I committed the sin of masturbation,inappropriate contentography,coarse jesting,cussing,lusting,and serving the Lord out of selfish motives,but I had taken the Lords supper while still in sin,which makes me remember Hebrews 6:4-6, the Orr about tasting the heavenly gift,but when the pandemic hit,my family stopped going to church to stay safe (the church we went to,I never heard of repentance and it welcomed a lesbian couple) which caused me concern.I began to take biblical advice from GotQuestions and I believe I fell into believing reformed doctrines and I’m now scared after being deceived for a year I’m a heretic and apostate,and I’m suffering rebellious thoughts and Intrusive thoughts that I’m fighting.I’m very very scared and worried.
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