How do I deal with feeling ashamed of past mistakes even though I know God has forgiven me? I still feel guilty and ashamed about things that happened years ago. How can I get my feelings to match the truth of being forgiven? I also just deal with feeling guilty about things that other Christians probably wouldn't feel guilty about. I don't want to be so neurotic all the time. I guess it probably comes from a deep feeling of unworthiness.
From what source do your feelings of shame and guilt arise? From God? Is the Holy Spirit pressing such feelings upon you? No. These sorts of feelings drive us from God, causing us to hide away from Him like Adam and Eve did in Eden. This is the exact opposite of what God intends when His Spirit convicts us of sin. Always, the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin in order that we might clear it away through repentance and confession and resume unhindered communion with God.
In contrast, Self, the "old wo/man" the apostle Paul wrote of (
Romans 6:6), the person we are apart from God, drives us into shame, guilt and isolation in response to our having sinned. Self is focused, not upon God, but upon itself. Even if that focus is negative, what is important for Self is that it is the center of attention rather than God. Self counterfeits the work of God, appearing to be concerned with spiritual matters. But because Self is pathologically Self-centered, it will always turn spiritual things inward upon itself, rather than Christ.
Consider your words above:
"
I feel ashamed of past mistakes."
"How can
I get
my feelings to match the truth?"
"
I also just deal with feeling guilty about..."
"
I don't want to be so neurotic...
"
I feel deep unworthiness."
Lots of you in these statements, eh? Nothing of God or of Christ, though. This is how it always works: The more we have ourselves in view, the less of God we see. We can't look in two opposite directions at once, right?
God's command to His children is to look away from Self, from the occupations of the "old wo/man," and fix their attention upon Christ. He knows that He's made us to be conformed to our focus, to be shaped by the things that fill our minds and attention, and so He tells us the following in His word:
Hebrews 12:2-3
2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
2 Corinthians 3:17-18
17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
Philippians 4:8
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 3:12-14
12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.
13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,
14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Self will shout and clamor for your attention, resisting the practice of being absorbed with God. Self will fill you with feelings of shame and guilt, with feelings of lust, or anger, or depression, or fear, or boredom - with anything that you've given the power to distract you from Jesus. When Self does this, respond by consciously focusing upon the Lord and upon his truth. Occupy yourself with these things and in their light, the darkness of self-condemnation and shame will dissolve.
Your feelings follow your mind and will - or they should. This is the proper order of things for the believer. Get in the habit of placing what you know above what you feel, of elevating the truth over your feelings, conforming your feelings to it. As you do, your feelings will come to reflect the truth of your life in Christ. Not all at once, necessarily, but progressively, in accord with a determined focus on, and faith in, the Person and promises of your Lord and Savior.
What is the truth about sin and forgiveness for the believer?
Romans 8:1
1 Corinthians 1:26-31
Colossians 3:1-4
1 John 1:9
Colossians 1:13-14
