Avoiding Bitterness

Hello @Gentle Lamb, it seems to me that following the dictates of your signature line Scripture verse, Matthew 5:44, would be a good place to start (IOW, love those who persecute you/who have or are treating you in an ill manner, by having compassion/understanding and immediately choosing to pray for them, instead of getting mad at them and replying to them in kind when they do or say something that is hurtful to you).

You could also determine ahead of time to always treat others the way that you would want to be treated by them .. even if they have or are presently treating you horribly. IOW, how we choose to treat others should never be influenced by how they have chosen (or are choosing) to treat us. By loving others in this granted, oft times very difficult way, the Lord tells us that we are actually obeying ALL of the laws/commandments/precepts, etc. from the OT/aka, the Law and the Prophets (the 'horizontal' laws/commandments anyway), which is simply an incredible thought, isn't it?

Finally, always chose to obey step #1 in the Lord's commandment to us below, as this is the way surest way to get your relationship with someone else back on track quickly (though I grant that it is never a comfortable thing to do). True, Biblical forgiveness (and hopefully then, reconciliation) always involves at least two people. IOW, forgiveness is never something that we do alone, in silence, without making sure that the person who has sinned against us knows that they have hurt us and why.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

God bless you!! (Numbers 6:24-26)

--David
p.s. - there are several great articles concerning forgiveness at GotQuestions.org that you may find helpful. Here are links to three of them (with additional articles linked at the bottom of each one .. the first link has a video attached to it, so you can watch and listen to it, or read it, as the video has the same text as the article).

Finally, the Lord has called us to act as His "peacemakers" .. Matthew 5:9, and that we will be blessed (happy) when we choose to do so. I am a big fan of John MacArthur's sermons, and I cannot think of a sermon of his that I've liked better than the one he preached on Matthew 5:9. If you'd like to hear it, read it, or do both at the same time, online/for free, just go here:

Gentle Lamb said:

How can I take steps to avoid bitterness from rooting in my heart before it gets to that point with people?

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Forgiveness will set you free. Bitterness is just anger thats been there for a while. Its really easy to say dont be angry, but really hard to do. I dont really think we can earnestly forgive without Gods help. I have just prayed for you for the Holy Spirit to come and help you forgive. I need that same help myself. Who doesnt? Please be open to the Holy Spirit as He comes to you and allow Him to work in your heart. By the way, 10 points for bravery and honesty in asking the question.

Gentle Lamb said:

How can I take steps to avoid bitterness from rooting in my heart before it gets to that point with people?

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See more of Christ in your daily devotions. Knowing how much pain and suffering He experienced on our behalf and how much He loves those that we tend to be bitter towards - can help a lot.

I like this commentary on the Life of Christ - as a way to keep focused on Christ during each week. 700 plus pages (free and online) of in-depth viewing of the life of Christ.

The Desire of Ages

If you can see the person that you might be tempted to view with bitterness as a sad person who deficiencies and experiences led them to do exactly what they did.

Understanding does a lot to let the air out of bitterness.

Gentle Lamb said:

How can I take steps to avoid bitterness from rooting in my heart before it gets to that point with people?

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You have to study where the bitterness comes from and realize that it comes from yourself. Remove the bitterness from yourself and you will not longer feel it when you see and communicate with others.

We must become the masters of our thoughts and emotions and not longer slave to the words and actions of others.

Gentle Lamb said:

How can I take steps to avoid bitterness from rooting in my heart before it gets to that point with people?

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Dear Gentle Lamb,

Thank you for making me think on this. The Bible says “let know bitter root form to defile you. ()Hebrews 12:15” but just how do we go about doing that? I think bitterness comes from focusing on self instead of others. When we look at life with the perspective of how everything affects us it is easy to become angry, bitter and overwhelmed by pity. Bitterness is one of those things that starts with focus. If we are grateful, forgiving and understanding of others bitterness doesn’t have the opportunity to form.

If you are rooted in Christ and His grace you will not be rooted in bitterness. Your focus will be upon His grace and mercy and its manifestation in your life and not focused on the hurt you experienced and yourself. As you mature in your walk with the Lord you will be less and less susceptible to growing a root of bitterness.

But if you find that a bitter root is affecting your life, God will help you in ‘digging up that root” and replacing it with His love. Bible study, prayer, and worship are all things that encourage us to walk in the Way, following Jesus and His example. If anyone could have had bitter roots, it was certainly Jesus But his relationship with His Father, God kept him focused. God bless you as you grow and experience all that God has prepared for you.

Gentle Lamb said:

How can I take steps to avoid bitterness from rooting in my heart before it gets to that point with people?

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I've found that in everyday life bitterness is often caused by people. Nothing complicates our lives like people! But we can allow Christ in us to build a loving attitude towards those we do not like, and those who go out of their way to hurt us.

A root of bitterness disrupts peace and causes trouble among God's people.

Bitterness is caused by one person.....not people. And that person is Oneself. The reason bitterness remains, is because we continue to try to change others instead of ourselves.