What is the Lord doing with me by denying me any physical affection?

Jamdoc · Dec 23, 2021

So.. the thing I most miss especially since Covid.. is physical affection and touch. Not sexual in nature even.. just affection, just to feel loved.
Being unmarried, I've always felt a lack of that to begin with, but Covid has made it so much harder. I'm immunocompromised, so such friendly affection person to person is actually dangerous to me. So I haven't had the outlet to even hug a friend for almost 2 years now.

I love cats and dogs and would love to have one... but I became allergic to both as an adult, so I have not been able to have one.

So my circumstances had effectively isolated me from any and all compassionate, affectionate touch.
I miss it, and I have no outlet for those feelings.
You may say, well you have Jesus/the Holy Spirit.. but I can't touch a spirit, I can't hug Jesus while I'm on earth.

What could be the goal of this isolation?
I don't understand it myself, I don't feel like it has accomplished anything good in me, in fact I think it has grown bitterness in me.

Saucy · Dec 23, 2021

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with this. I personally don't think this is something God is doing to you, but He can certainly use it for good. It sounds like you're the one isolating yourself, so what is the goal of it? You're trying to save yourself the trouble, right? At some point, you might have to decide when it's time to step out of isolation and hug someone.

Lost4words · Dec 23, 2021

Offer up your suffering to God, for others. At the same times asking God for His guidance and help in that 'His will be done'.

God bless you

jesuslover811 · Dec 23, 2021

Man that sucks. I do not think this is god doing this to you directly though. It really sucks you cant just go out and hug people without risking dying. Im praying for you please stay strong.
If I were you I would consider it a test or a unfortunate situation you can make some good out of. Use this to test your faith and courage use this opportunity to only need god and not wordly things.

Jamdoc · Dec 23, 2021

Saucy said:
I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with this. I personally don't think this is something God is doing to you, but He can certainly use it for good. It sounds like you're the one isolating yourself, so what is the goal of it? You're trying to save yourself the trouble, right? At some point, you might have to decide when it's time to step out of isolation and hug someone.

Not really a choice, when I've wanted to go out for say, Church, I have had flareups of my autoimmune diseases that make it basically impossible to do so, it stops me in my tracks. I even lost my car it just died last winter. So at the moment, I have no transportation, and I'm mobility disabled. I am also primed to die if I do get Covid, and because of immunosuppressant medications I'm on, the vaccine has very little benefit to me (and carrying more risks than it does for other people).
I had pneumonia that scarred my lungs some years ago, and I'm immunocompromised and have an inflammatory autoimmune disease. That's just a recipe for a disaster (not to mention being overweight, another risk factor for this disease) A hug, could essentially put me on a ventilator. That would be even if I had the resources and was not in pain to be able to go out and meet people.

It's just a lot of perfect storm stuff, saying that, either God has isolated me for a reason, or allowed Satan to isolate me, also for a reason.

Like i said even the allergy to dogs and cats, those are 2 things that people will often use to substitute human relationships when they are lonely. They are not options for me.

Is it coincidence that I felt compelled to get serious with God again JUST before this pandemic hit? I don't believe it is.

jesuslover811 · Dec 23, 2021

Jamdoc said:
Not really a choice, when I've wanted to go out for say, Church, I have had flareups of my autoimmune diseases that make it basically impossible to do so, it stops me in my tracks. I even lost my car it just died last winter. So at the moment, I have no transportation, and I'm mobility disabled. I am also primed to die if I do get Covid, and because of immunosuppressant medications I'm on, the vaccine has very little benefit to me (and carrying more risks than it does for other people).
I had pneumonia that scarred my lungs some years ago, and I'm immunocompromised and have an inflammatory autoimmune disease. That's just a recipe for a disaster (not to mention being overweight, another risk factor for this disease) A hug, could essentially put me on a ventilator. That would be even if I had the resources and was not in pain to be able to go out and meet people.

It's just a lot of perfect storm stuff, saying that, either God has isolated me for a reason, or allowed Satan to isolate me, also for a reason.

Like i said even the allergy to dogs and cats, those are 2 things that people will often use to substitute human relationships when they are lonely. They are not options for me.

Is it coincidence that I felt compelled to get serious with God again JUST before this pandemic hit? I don't believe it is.

perhaps you can get a reptile or something. Assuming you do not work for a living a hobby you might be interested in is squirrel rehabilitation

VCR-2000 · Dec 23, 2021

Jamdoc said:
So.. the thing I most miss especially since Covid.. is physical affection and touch. Not sexual in nature even.. just affection, just to feel loved.
Being unmarried, I've always felt a lack of that to begin with, but Covid has made it so much harder. I'm immunocompromised, so such friendly affection person to person is actually dangerous to me. So I haven't had the outlet to even hug a friend for almost 2 years now.

I love cats and dogs and would love to have one... but I became allergic to both as an adult, so I have not been able to have one.

So my circumstances had effectively isolated me from any and all compassionate, affectionate touch.
I miss it, and I have no outlet for those feelings.
You may say, well you have Jesus/the Holy Spirit.. but I can't touch a spirit, I can't hug Jesus while I'm on earth.

What could be the goal of this isolation?
I don't understand it myself, I don't feel like it has accomplished anything good in me, in fact I think it has grown bitterness in me.

I am feeling in the same boat, I want physical touch and emotional-physical affection from, mainly from someone of the opposite sex, but it's hard to find someone and even harder and seemingly impossible for some people to find at least one because of a divisive and toxic culture.

So those who aren't engaging in activities like casual sex are left out completely. I mean it's one thing to have sex outside of marriage but still within seeing each other for more than a year or so, I think casual sex just for the sake of sex is the real killer here.

I know this is a message of sympathy and I can relate, but it turned into somewhat like a rant.

Jamdoc · Dec 23, 2021

For me it doesn't have to be a woman, I mean sure I'd prefer a wife but really like, I'd even considered just a cat, but.. even being in the same house as one will drive me nuts with allergies.

jesuslover811 said:
perhaps you can get a reptile or something. Assuming you do not work for a living a hobby you might be interested in is squirrel rehabilitation

eh.. I dunno.. a reptile doesn't really feel or express love as far as I know. I've considered a bird like a parrot species but I know that cockatiels and cockatoos can be really bad for allergies.

I think the isolation is intentional, and purposeful I just wish I knew for what.

what you grow in soil like mine, parched and thirsty, broken, and in desolation, is a cactus, hardy but prickly, with few needs that is met with little.. but does a cactus produce fruit? Is there anything beautiful or praiseworthy or lovely about a cactus?

DragonFox91 · Dec 24, 2021

If cats or lizards aren't an option, maybe try fishkeeping? A lot of fishkeepers say it's good for the soul, calms it down just watching them swim peacefully back & forth. I have an aquarium now & have kept fish in the past too. At the very least it occupies me. They learn to recognize you. You care for them. They're low work but good reward. If you want something more, you can always get more tanks. I have just one right now but it's not uncommon for people to get multiple tanks.
I've never heard of anyone catching a disease in the hobby. You don't touch them (although unfortunately that is what you want).

Maybe talk to your doctor about options immunocompromized people can do to get a touch?

Jamdoc · Dec 24, 2021

DragonFox91 said:
If cats or lizards aren't an option, maybe try fishkeeping? A lot of fishkeepers say it's good for the soul, calms it down just watching them swim peacefully back & forth. I have an aquarium now & have kept fish in the past too. At the very least it occupies me. They learn to recognize you. You care for them. They're low work but good reward. If you want something more, you can always get more tanks. I have just one right now but it's not uncommon for people to get multiple tanks.
I've never heard of anyone catching a disease in the hobby. You don't touch them (although unfortunately that is what you want).

Maybe talk to your doctor about options immunocompromized people can do to get a touch?

I think people are missing the point....

I'm not looking for ways AROUND a season of Isolation that I believe the Lord has purposefully ordained for me.
I'm looking for a possible reason for it.

Because I think we can all agree on the surface at least, "it is not good that the man should be alone"

But the Lord has biblically isolated men for purposes. Jesus He led into the wilderness alone so that He could be tempted by the devil, for instance.

VCR-2000 · Jan 2, 2022

Jamdoc said:
But the Lord has biblically isolated men for purposes. Jesus He led into the wilderness alone so that He could be tempted by the devil, for instance.

That still sounds depressing, though. Also, if God ordered it as a burden for men and not women.

My experience so far seems to suggest that whatever trials we experience in this life, no matter how cruel or unfair it seems, no matter how loud one protests at God about it, our only solution is to just "suck it up" or only have the faith. Those sound like our only solutions.

TheWhat? · Jan 2, 2022

If a Hebrew man straight out of the bible were living in exile in a pagan nation, would God tell him to take a wife?

If God is telling you anything, I would bet it is to put Him first and let Him be God over everyone else. That includes women, religion, your pastor, your neighbors, even your highly opinionated saint of a friend who tells you everything about what you should do. When I tried putting God first what I heard back from was "get your lopsided Gentile fanny out of that God forsaken place and find a decent wife somewhere else," more or less.

Jamdoc · Jan 2, 2022

TheWhat? said:
If a Hebrew man straight out of the bible were living in exile in a pagan nation, would God tell him to take a wife?

If God is telling you anything, I would bet it is to put Him first and let Him be God over everyone else. That includes women, religion, your pastor, your neighbors, even your highly opinionated saint of a friend who tells you everything about what you should do. When I tried putting God first what I heard back from was "get your lopsided Gentile fanny out of that God forsaken place and find a decent wife somewhere else," more or less.

Well, without transportation, resources or even bodily health, in the midst of a pandemic I don't think the Lord is telling me to go anywhere.

More or less .. I'm in a trap that I can see and waiting for it to spring, looking to Jesus who says "just wait for it, and trust me"

TheWhat? · Jan 2, 2022

Jamdoc said:
Well, without transportation, resources or even bodily health, in the midst of a pandemic I don't think the Lord is telling me to go anywhere.

More or less .. I'm in a trap that I can see and waiting for it to spring, looking to Jesus who says "just wait for it, and trust me"

If you're in a trap why would Jesus say "wait for it?"

I could be wrong but something seems amiss there.

Jamdoc · Jan 3, 2022

TheWhat? said:
If you're in a trap why would Jesus say "wait for it?"

Reflecting on the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah himself was told to say things that he knew would get him in trouble, and he was imprisoned for it. Jeremiah saw the trap, but God said to trust him and let it spring. Jeremiah went to prison obeying God, and God had ordained for him to be imprisoned.
Similarly, to the Israelites that Jeremiah spoke to. They were told they were going into captivity, but in Jeremiah 29, they are told for how long it will be, and that they should take wives and build homes and... to trust Him. Even in captivity.
The trap I see around me is.. for Jesus' sake. It would not spring if not for Jesus' sake, the trap has nothing to do with me personally. I'm basically put into a set of circumstances where, if we undergo persecution, I'm in no position and without the resources to flee or really fight back against it, and my unbelieving family would deliver me up. With the way they mock Jesus and the biblical view... every time the gospel is mentioned around them, they harden their heart and mock it.

But essentially. Sometimes God ordains hard things for us to go through, and we're to trust Him anyway.

TheWhat? · Jan 3, 2022

Jamdoc said:
Reflecting on the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah himself was told to say things that he knew would get him in trouble, and he was imprisoned for it. Jeremiah saw the trap, but God said to trust him and let it spring. Jeremiah went to prison obeying God, and God had ordained for him to be imprisoned.
Similarly, to the Israelites that Jeremiah spoke to. They were told they were going into captivity, but in Jeremiah 29, they are told for how long it will be, and that they should take wives and build homes and... to trust Him. Even in captivity.
The trap I see around me is.. for Jesus' sake. It would not spring if not for Jesus' sake, the trap has nothing to do with me personally. I'm basically put into a set of circumstances where, if we undergo persecution, I'm in no position and without the resources to flee or really fight back against it, and my unbelieving family would deliver me up. With the way they mock Jesus and the biblical view... every time the gospel is mentioned around them, they harden their heart and mock it.

But essentially. Sometimes God ordains hard things for us to go through, and we're to trust Him anyway.

No offense, but it sounds like you've got your thumbs stuck in the heavenly thumb screws again. Jeremiah had a fairly peculiar ministry with an important purpose. Of course everything that happened which he wrote about had some higher purpose to it. But what makes you think Jeremiah's life implies that God would have special plans to frustrate your plans, or your life, or to do anything against your living well as He would have you to do?

FTR, I don't think God has a set of "heavenly thumb screws" or takes pleasure in that sort of thing. I would expect it to make some kind of sense. Are you a prophet? No? Then it doesn't make sense to begin applying Jeremiah's prophetic ministry to your life.

Jamdoc · Jan 3, 2022

TheWhat? said:
No offense, but it sounds like you've got your thumbs stuck in the heavenly thumb screws again. Jeremiah had a fairly peculiar ministry with an important purpose. Of course everything that happened which he wrote about had some higher purpose to it. But what makes you think Jeremiah's life implies that God would have special plans to frustrate your plans, or your life, or to do anything against your living well as He would have you to do?

FTR, I don't think God has a set of "heavenly thumb screws" or takes pleasure in that sort of thing. I would expect it to make some kind of sense. Are you a prophet? No? Then it doesn't make sense to begin applying Jeremiah's prophetic ministry to your life.

No not a prophet but the second part, those in Israel that were to go to captivity. that was ordained for them.

VCR-2000 · Jan 3, 2022

Believe me, its a heartbreaking position to be in even when God says he is in control and has everyone's best interest at heart.

What is the Lord doing with me by denying me any physical affection?

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