Hospitalized today

rileyargo said:

So like prior to all of this I was a bad student in school because of on going mental stuff like add and depression. But when I really put my all into it I did some good stuff. I don't know when I started having OCD symptoms presenting it's self but I remember making vows with God asking him to inflict others or myself with sickness if I didn't do something (apart of OCD is vow making). Anyway after making a vow about transportation issues I would I would never take a plane or train anywhere. Just buses. I asked God to kill me in both if I didn't stop habitual sin. Eventually I started getting in into the Bible and what it said concerning vow making. Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God in Matthew. So I got more scared. I just started believing God was out to get me. The verses commingly posted like Phil 1:29, Acts 9:16 and Isaiah 53:10 became all I knew. I seen a priest and he just convinced me that I should take my sufferings as an offer to God and that he did spare Paul, Jesus or the persecuted church of suffering so why anybody else? Between mentally struggling everyday and school going down I turned to drugs like acid and shrooms. I got excited going to sleep so I can escape my thoughts, After dropping all of friends, interests an hobbies I became a hermit. Anyways make a long story short I was told had to go with my parents somewhere since my great grandmother hurt herself severely but I'm not sure what got over me but as soon as I got there I freaked out and said "he's gonna kill me if I get on" and started screaming and punching the security guards. Again I did take acid that night before so yeah. Now I'm laying here justing thinking about when God will get me tbh.

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rileyargo said:

So like prior to all of this I was a bad student in school because of on going mental stuff like add and depression. But when I really put my all into it I did some good stuff. I don't know when I started having OCD symptoms presenting it's self but I remember making vows with God asking him to inflict others or myself with sickness if I didn't do something (apart of OCD is vow making). Anyway after making a vow about transportation issues I would I would never take a plane or train anywhere. Just buses. I asked God to kill me in both if I didn't stop habitual sin. Eventually I started getting in into the Bible and what it said concerning vow making. Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God in Matthew. So I got more scared. I just started believing God was out to get me. The verses commingly posted like Phil 1:29, Acts 9:16 and Isaiah 53:10 became all I knew. I seen a priest and he just convinced me that I should take my sufferings as an offer to God and that he did spare Paul, Jesus or the persecuted church of suffering so why anybody else? Between mentally struggling everyday and school going down I turned to drugs like acid and shrooms. I got excited going to sleep so I can escape my thoughts, After dropping all of friends, interests an hobbies I became a hermit. Anyways make a long story short I was told had to go with my parents somewhere since my great grandmother hurt herself severely but I'm not sure what got over me but as soon as I got there I freaked out and said "he's gonna kill me if I get on" and started screaming and punching the security guards. Again I did take acid that night before so yeah. Now I'm laying here justing thinking about when God will get me tbh.

Click to expand...