I feel like I'm poison to the gospel

Jamdoc · Oct 16, 2021

I feel like a lot of times.. it would be better for me to not witness because I feel like people reject Jesus BECAUSE of my shortcomings, or that they hate me so badly, that they will reject anything I say, even if it's for the salvation of their soul.

I mean it can be something as simple as me saying "Jesus loves you" somewhere online, the response is.. always overwhelmingly negative. It's met with instant.. just.. uncanny rejection. The first thing someone says is "JESUS IS DEAD" and I move into "He died, and was buried and was resurrected because He loves you and He wants to save you from your sins". It gets met with cursing, ridicule, mocking, not a single soul has ever responded positively to it.

Not even my own mother will listen to me about it. She doesn't just mock me or curse at me mind you, she smiles and nods. But then later will turn around in a conversation and talk bad about Christianity as a whole and say she doesn't need Jesus to be a good person.

Today I simply said in an online game "Please don't use Jesus as a curse word" and I just got ganged up on, I was trying to segway into sharing the gospel.. but .. it's deaf ears.. not just deaf ears.. but hostile ears.

I feel like anyone else could do so much better at sharing the gospel than me, like people would be more open to hearing about Jesus if it was ANYONE but me saying His name.

I'll even do it anonymously online, people can't see me, they know nothing about me.. but the moment I share my faith... it's just.. unbelievable how hostile they get.
I feel like I'm damning someone to hell every time I mention it because they hate ME so badly that they don't want to share beliefs with me... even if it's their own destruction.
I just have absolutely no gift for evangelism.

What in the world does God have for me when any work I try to do for the kingdom ends up doing more damage than good?

I ask
all He says is wait and watch.
It's frustrating.

I feel utterly useless.
I have no calling.

Sabertooth · Oct 16, 2021

Since you got Saved, have you been to a New Believers' class?
Are you going to church, now?

God is good · Oct 16, 2021

Jamdoc said:
I feel like a lot of times.. it would be better for me to not witness because I feel like people reject Jesus BECAUSE of my shortcomings, or that they hate me so badly, that they will reject anything I say, even if it's for the salvation of their soul.

I mean it can be something as simple as me saying "Jesus loves you" somewhere online, the response is.. always overwhelmingly negative. It's met with instant.. just.. uncanny rejection. The first thing someone says is "JESUS IS DEAD" and I move into "He died, and was buried and was resurrected because He loves you and He wants to save you from your sins". It gets met with cursing, ridicule, mocking, not a single soul has ever responded positively to it.

Not even my own mother will listen to me about it. She doesn't just mock me or curse at me mind you, she smiles and nods. But then later will turn around in a conversation and talk bad about Christianity as a whole and say she doesn't need Jesus to be a good person.

Today I simply said in an online game "Please don't use Jesus as a curse word" and I just got ganged up on, I was trying to segway into sharing the gospel.. but .. it's deaf ears.. not just deaf ears.. but hostile ears.

I feel like anyone else could do so much better at sharing the gospel than me, like people would be more open to hearing about Jesus if it was ANYONE but me saying His name.

I'll even do it anonymously online, people can't see me, they know nothing about me.. but the moment I share my faith... it's just.. unbelievable how hostile they get.
I feel like I'm damning someone to hell every time I mention it because they hate ME so badly that they don't want to share beliefs with me... even if it's their own destruction.
I just have absolutely no gift for evangelism.

What in the world does God have for me when any work I try to do for the kingdom ends up doing more damage than good?

I ask
all He says is wait and watch.
It's frustrating.

I feel utterly useless.
I have no calling.

You do have a calling. You are preaching the gospel and I believe it's working and helping others. Even though a lot of people are being mean to you, I bet there are other people who are encouraged by you. God loves you so much and Jesus is our Lord and Saviour.

Jamdoc · Oct 16, 2021

Sabertooth said:
Since you got Saved, have you been to a New Believers' class?

Are you going to church, now?

1. No not really, but I got saved decades ago. But this response to me witnessing goes back to middle school, I got into my first fights with people (well they hit me anyway) over it.
2. I'm unable to, I'm disabled, and immunocompromised. So since Covid I've basically stayed home. I watch the livestreams from home, I watch a lot of sermons from a lot of different churches actually.
But in person fellowship.. haven't been able to.

Jesus is my Superhero · Oct 16, 2021

Actions always speak louder than words. Only use words when questioned by someone.

Dave G. · Oct 16, 2021

It's not you but Him and partly your approach. Don't expect everyone to love you because of Jesus, especially in our age. Read the words below carefully absorb them.
John 15:18-27

King James Version

18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.

22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin.

23 He that hateth me hateth my Father also.

24 If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.

25 But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

26 But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:

27 And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning.

Jamdoc · Oct 16, 2021

Dave G. said:
It's not you but Him and partly your approach. Don't expect everyone to love you because of Jesus, especially in our age. Read the words below carefully absorb them.
John 15:18-27

King James Version

18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.

22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin.

23 He that hateth me hateth my Father also.

24 If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.

25 But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

26 But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:

27 And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning.

I'm okay with them hating me, I'm more worried about them hating Jesus because they hate me.

Dave G. · Oct 16, 2021

Jamdoc said:
I'm okay with them hating me, I'm more worried about them hating Jesus because they hate me.

The underlying power behind their hatred is not about you but who is in you and who they are of. You have Christ in you by way of the Holy Spirit and they are still of their father the devil. This stuff is very real as you are seeing. And we are living in times where some are seeking Christ but most are of this world system which can not flee fast enough from God.

You need to change your mindset, they don't hate Christ because of you but never had a tolerance for Him to begin with. We come with good news though which they do not comprehend. Again it's not about you, the powers behind this are way above our pay grade so to speak. Yet with Christ we have power over that, feel no guilt, no shame. In evangelizing God sets up divine appointments, do these things by His strength not your own ! Don't just stick your nose out unless He has set/ prepared the path first.

Mark Quayle · Oct 16, 2021

Jamdoc said:
I feel like a lot of times.. it would be better for me to not witness because I feel like people reject Jesus BECAUSE of my shortcomings, or that they hate me so badly, that they will reject anything I say, even if it's for the salvation of their soul.

I mean it can be something as simple as me saying "Jesus loves you" somewhere online, the response is.. always overwhelmingly negative. It's met with instant.. just.. uncanny rejection. The first thing someone says is "JESUS IS DEAD" and I move into "He died, and was buried and was resurrected because He loves you and He wants to save you from your sins". It gets met with cursing, ridicule, mocking, not a single soul has ever responded positively to it.

Not even my own mother will listen to me about it. She doesn't just mock me or curse at me mind you, she smiles and nods. But then later will turn around in a conversation and talk bad about Christianity as a whole and say she doesn't need Jesus to be a good person.

Today I simply said in an online game "Please don't use Jesus as a curse word" and I just got ganged up on, I was trying to segway into sharing the gospel.. but .. it's deaf ears.. not just deaf ears.. but hostile ears.

I feel like anyone else could do so much better at sharing the gospel than me, like people would be more open to hearing about Jesus if it was ANYONE but me saying His name.

I'll even do it anonymously online, people can't see me, they know nothing about me.. but the moment I share my faith... it's just.. unbelievable how hostile they get.
I feel like I'm damning someone to hell every time I mention it because they hate ME so badly that they don't want to share beliefs with me... even if it's their own destruction.
I just have absolutely no gift for evangelism.

What in the world does God have for me when any work I try to do for the kingdom ends up doing more damage than good?

I ask
all He says is wait and watch.
It's frustrating.

I feel utterly useless.
I have no calling.

You seem to have the notion that if you are not an evangelist you are useless. That is false.

Also, remember that God's word never returns to him void.

Study God's word, get to know him always better and better and you probably will find it hard not to talk about him. I don't understand forced situations, where someone thinks they must preach the gospel whenever they open their mouth. I have a very good friend, an atheist; he knows where I stand and what I believe. He doesn't even know why he likes me. Now and then he asks me questions. But, I'm just honest with him, and don't push.

tturt · Oct 16, 2021

Thankfully, our blinders have been removed

"...for their minds have been blinded by the god of this age, leaving them in unbelief. Their blindness keeps them from seeing the dayspring light of the wonderful news of the glory of Jesus Christ, who is the divine image of God." II Cor 4:4

So we can asks God to remove their blinders.

Know several ministers who had witnessed for decades. They find people's hearts are harden today.

Show them love.

Jamdoc · Oct 16, 2021

Dave G. said:
The underlying power behind their hatred is not about you but who is in you and who they are of. You have Christ in you by way of the Holy Spirit and they are still of their father the devil. This stuff is very real as you are seeing. And we are living in times where some are seeking Christ but most are of this world system which can not flee fast enough from God.

You need to change your mindset, they don't hate Christ because of you but never had a tolerance for Him to begin with. We come with good news though which they do not comprehend. Again it's not about you, the powers behind this are way above our pay grade so to speak. Yet with Christ we have power over that, feel no guilt, no shame. In evangelizing God sets up divine appointments, do these things by His strength not your own ! Don't just stick your nose out unless He has set/ prepared the path first.

It makes sense.
the immediate hostility is just shocking even after all these years, but it does seem like a form of spiritual warfare all on its own.

EmethAlethia · Oct 16, 2021

Jamdoc said:
I'm okay with them hating me, I'm more worried about them hating Jesus because they hate me.

3 He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

If you are Christlike you are going to get the same result, Those who are popular with the world are not His.

Mark Quayle · Oct 16, 2021

Jamdoc said:
I'm okay with them hating me, I'm more worried about them hating Jesus because they hate me.

I don't keep Christian symbols on my car nor bumper stickers; don't want them saying, "So, that's how Christians drive..."

tturt · Oct 16, 2021

know what you mean. Not as bad as I was but so frustrating how fleshy I can be when driving.

anna ~ grace · Oct 16, 2021

Pray for people more than speak. If anyone mentions Christ, encourage them. If anyone asks questions, answer them. If anyone says something morally or theologically correct, agree with them. Let these conversations develop naturally, and pray for conversations like that to arise. If they don’t, ok. You can still pray for folks, and God will hear your prayer.

In the meantime, be a faithful Christian in word and deed. How you talk, and what you do. Just follow Christ. That is a sort of silent witness in itself. And you’ll feel calmer and happier, and better prepared to confirm or share the Truth when the topic comes up.

Try that approach. It might help you.

Jamdoc · Oct 16, 2021

anna ~ grace said:
Pray for people more than speak. If anyone mentions Christ, encourage them. If anyone asks questions, answer them. If anyone says something morally or theologically correct, agree with them. Let these conversations develop naturally, and pray for conversations like that to arise. If they don’t, ok. You can still pray for folks, and God will hear your prayer.

In the meantime, be a faithful Christian in word and deed. How you talk, and what you do. Just follow Christ. That is a sort of silent witness in itself. And you’ll feel calmer and happier, and better prepared to confirm or share the Truth when the topic comes up.

Try that approach. It might help you.

well, it's like I said, someone used Christ as a curse, so I moved gently to correct them and meant to move into who Christ was but the dogpile on me in response just chased me out basically.

anna ~ grace · Oct 16, 2021

Jamdoc said:
well, it's like I said, someone used Christ as a curse, so I moved gently to correct them and meant to move into who Christ was but the dogpile on me in response just chased me out basically.

That’s ok, at least you spoke up. You may not always get interest as a response, but you stood up for yourself as a Christian. That’s good.

Jamdoc · Oct 16, 2021

anna ~ grace said:
That’s ok, at least you spoke up. You may not always get interest as a response, but you stood up for yourself as a Christian. That’s good.

I guess in these cases I rest in Psalm 139

19 Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
20 For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
21 Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

anna ~ grace · Oct 16, 2021

I think, jamdoc, we may sometimes set the bar too high for ourselves, and wind up frustrated, and feeling like we have let God down. But God has not made everyone a Billy Graham, or a Saint Paul. Even Billy Graham likely spent at least 80% of his ordinary conversations just talking about the weather, and very ordinary things. Saint Paul, too.

What does God want of you? Does He want you to wind up frustrated and upset that you didn’t manage to squeeze Christ into every single conversation? Or does He just want you to trust Him, be kind to others, be ready to give an answer if asked, and model His Son for others to see in your words and deeds (even if theology is not being discussed)? Then, if and when folks ask, you can tell them.

Jamdoc · Oct 16, 2021

anna ~ grace said:
I think, jamdoc, we may sometimes set the bar too high for ourselves, and wind up frustrated, and feeling like we have let God down. But God has not made everyone a Billy Graham, or a Saint Paul. Even Billy Graham likely spent at least 80% of his ordinary conversations just talking about the weather, and very ordinary things. Saint Paul, too.

What does God want of you? Does He want you to wind up frustrated and upset that you didn’t manage to squeeze Christ into every single conversation? Or does He just want you to trust Him, be kind to others, be ready to give an answer if asked, and model His Son for others to see in your words and deeds (even if theology is not being discussed)? Then, if and when folks ask, you can tell them.

I don't know what He wants of me aside from waiting.
That's all He ever tells me is wait
wait for what I ask? well I have ideas but.. I could be wrong, I usually am.

I just.. I dread the parable of the talents, of being that servant who hid his talent, and was cast into outer darkness, because he was not profitable.
I feel like Jesus got ripped off buying me with His blood.
I feel like I didn't even get a talent to invest.

I feel like I'm poison to the gospel

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