- Oct 22, 2019
- 7,485
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- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Single
I feel like a lot of times.. it would be better for me to not witness because I feel like people reject Jesus BECAUSE of my shortcomings, or that they hate me so badly, that they will reject anything I say, even if it's for the salvation of their soul.
I mean it can be something as simple as me saying "Jesus loves you" somewhere online, the response is.. always overwhelmingly negative. It's met with instant.. just.. uncanny rejection. The first thing someone says is "JESUS IS DEAD" and I move into "He died, and was buried and was resurrected because He loves you and He wants to save you from your sins". It gets met with cursing, ridicule, mocking, not a single soul has ever responded positively to it.
Not even my own mother will listen to me about it. She doesn't just mock me or curse at me mind you, she smiles and nods. But then later will turn around in a conversation and talk bad about Christianity as a whole and say she doesn't need Jesus to be a good person.
Today I simply said in an online game "Please don't use Jesus as a curse word" and I just got ganged up on, I was trying to segway into sharing the gospel.. but .. it's deaf ears.. not just deaf ears.. but hostile ears.
I feel like anyone else could do so much better at sharing the gospel than me, like people would be more open to hearing about Jesus if it was ANYONE but me saying His name.
I'll even do it anonymously online, people can't see me, they know nothing about me.. but the moment I share my faith... it's just.. unbelievable how hostile they get.
I feel like I'm damning someone to hell every time I mention it because they hate ME so badly that they don't want to share beliefs with me... even if it's their own destruction.
I just have absolutely no gift for evangelism.
What in the world does God have for me when any work I try to do for the kingdom ends up doing more damage than good?
I ask
all He says is wait and watch.
It's frustrating.
I feel utterly useless.
I have no calling.
I mean it can be something as simple as me saying "Jesus loves you" somewhere online, the response is.. always overwhelmingly negative. It's met with instant.. just.. uncanny rejection. The first thing someone says is "JESUS IS DEAD" and I move into "He died, and was buried and was resurrected because He loves you and He wants to save you from your sins". It gets met with cursing, ridicule, mocking, not a single soul has ever responded positively to it.
Not even my own mother will listen to me about it. She doesn't just mock me or curse at me mind you, she smiles and nods. But then later will turn around in a conversation and talk bad about Christianity as a whole and say she doesn't need Jesus to be a good person.
Today I simply said in an online game "Please don't use Jesus as a curse word" and I just got ganged up on, I was trying to segway into sharing the gospel.. but .. it's deaf ears.. not just deaf ears.. but hostile ears.
I feel like anyone else could do so much better at sharing the gospel than me, like people would be more open to hearing about Jesus if it was ANYONE but me saying His name.
I'll even do it anonymously online, people can't see me, they know nothing about me.. but the moment I share my faith... it's just.. unbelievable how hostile they get.
I feel like I'm damning someone to hell every time I mention it because they hate ME so badly that they don't want to share beliefs with me... even if it's their own destruction.
I just have absolutely no gift for evangelism.
What in the world does God have for me when any work I try to do for the kingdom ends up doing more damage than good?
I ask
all He says is wait and watch.
It's frustrating.
I feel utterly useless.
I have no calling.